I’m supposed to be writing about how this crackhead might be making millions of dollars for a post-jail interview, but I just saw that People Magazine put up one of their “Five Things To Know About” pieces… on Lindsay’s judge! Judge Marsha Revel is awesome, by the way. She’s 63 years old, and she grew up in Hollywood, where her mother was an assistant to real celebrities like Judy Garland. How awesome is that? The People piece is here.

Anyway, back to The Crackhead. PopEater reports that Lindsay’s first post-jail interview could be worth a ton of money, and that going to jail might be the best thing for her, financially (and crack-wise).

You can bet Lindsay Lohan will have plenty to say when she’s sprung from the joint later this summer, but if you want her for a TV interview you’d better have deep pockets! Sources tell me that deals are already in the works to secure Lindsay’s first post-jailhouse chat for a whopping $1 million. You heard right, a cool mil!

“Financially, it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to Lindsay,” a magazine insider tells me. “It’s no secret that Lindsay has been in financial trouble for a while. She will earn more money from her post-prison interview than she ever earned acting.”

Lindsay is not the first celebrity to turn her troubles into a cash cow. The New York Post reported that Paris Hilton was offered a million dollars for her post-prison interview back in June 2007. After a public outcry, however, several media outlets ultimately decided not to pursue Paris, forcing her to give her interview away to CNN’s Larry King for free.

Paid interviews, while routine in Europe, are still taboo here in the USA. The way major networks get around this is by engaging in “licensing” deals that provide compensation for the rights to personal material, most often video footage or photos.

Sources tell me that this is exactly the type of arrangement Lindsay is looking for.

“Expect to see a major TV and magazine deal,” a source close to Lindsay tells me. “Lindsay might have made a lot of mistakes, but she knows how much her first interview is worth. She won’t even consider offers of less than $1 million.”

Dan Wakeford, editor-in-chief of Life & Style magazine, explains to me why Lindsay’s first interview is worth so much. “It’s everyone’s primal fear to go to jail or have a child go to jail.”

Candace Trunzo, editor-in-chief of Star, believes that the appeal is part of the public’s fascination with Lohan. “For better or worse, we’re invested in Lindsay. We’ve watched her self-destruct for years, always anticipating the worst.”

However, Michelle Lee, InTouch Weekly’s editor-in-chief, warns, “I think her first post-prison interview will get a lot of attention, but it depends how long she actually ends up staying behind bars! At the same time, Lindsay always seems to have an excuse, so it would be interesting to see if she finally tells the full truth.”

And what that truth is ultimately worth to Lindsay is far more than $1 million dollars.

[From PopEater]

I love that explanation: “It’s everyone’s primal fear to go to jail or have a child go to jail.” Um, NO. We’re all paying attention because of schadenfreude, because it’s such a pleasure to see an entitled, violent, lazy, melodramatic, cracked-out little bitch finally, at long last, get hers. And we’ll watch the interview because we’ll want to know if she’s still the same little freak. And seriously, if Paris Hilton could have gotten $1 million a few years ago, I’d say a truly awesome, delusional, I’m-a-political-prisoner-get-me-out-of-here interview should net something like $2 – 3 million. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, the sales of Lindsay’s leggings line (6126) have already gotten a boost, and WWD expects them to sell out shortly. Also – Kim Kardashian is now Lindsay’s BFF? Ugh. Famewhores.

UPDATE: HAHHAAHAHAAA! Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley just quit the crackhead! TMZ says that she “resigned” earlier today. Ha.