Okay, I’m starting to think Cristiano Ronaldo is the Portuguese Gerard Butler. The man seems like a total dog, but he also seems totally unapologetic about it, which is somewhat admirable. I mean, if you’re going to f-ck everything that moves, why not be honest about it? So the mystery baby-mama of Cristiano Ronaldo’s newborn son has been revealed, sort of. We still don’t know her name, but The Mirror reports that she was a penniless American waitress who Ronaldo met on a New York City layover. They had a one night stand, and she got pregnant. She went to Ronaldo’s management team, who went to Ronaldo’s mother, who worked out the current arrangement, where – after the paternity test confirmed – the girl would give birth, and the child would come to live with Ronaldo and his family. The waitress also got paid 10 million pounds for the whole deal – approximately $15.3 million. Guess what Ronaldo’s come-on to the waitress was? “Me, you, f-ck, f-ck.” Oh, you sweet talker.

The mother of Cristiano Ronaldo’s baby is a penniless American waitress who the football star seduced with the line: “Me, you, f*** f***.”

But his chat-up line was so blunt, she didn’t understand it. So Ronaldo resorted to drawing a love heart on a misted-up window and said: “Me, you, kiss!” Then he whisked her back to his hotel for a one-night stand which left the girl pregnant – and Ronaldo with a £10million paternity bill.

Most of the world believed that Ronaldo had actually used a surrogate mother to have his baby – but the Sunday Mirror can reveal the truth of his sudden unexpected fatherhood. And how, after hearing the baby was his, he told friends “I feel like Boris Becker” – a reference to the tennis star who fathered a love-child after having sex just once in a London restaurant – which cost him £20m.

The £200,000-a-week striker used his best friend to help broker an exclusive paternity deal in New York, supervised by his fearsome mother Dolores Aveiro, to bring the baby back to Portugal. Ronaldo has told friends he won’t tell the boy the identity of his mother until his 18th birthday.

Football fans reacted with disbelief when Ronaldo, whose conquests include socialite Paris Hilton and reality TV star Imogen Thomas, suddenly announced on July 3 that he had a son. In a cryptic message posted on Facebook, he told how the baby’s mother wanted to remain private and declared: “My son will be under my exclusive guardianship.” He later said the baby had been named Cristiano after him. And the little boy’s mother has been paid a life-changing $15.1million to keep her identity confidential and to hand the child over to Ronaldo’s family.

Last summer, on a trip to Los Angeles that would see him hooking up with Paris Hilton, Ronaldo strutted into a restaurant and spotted the future mother of his son. A friend said: “Ronni looked the girl in the eye and said extremely directly: ‘Me, you, f*** f***.’

“She was taken aback and just said: ‘What!’ She didn’t actually understand what he meant. She was totally nonplussed. The window by his table was steamed up, so he drew a love heart on it with his finger. Then he said, ‘Me, you, kiss,’ and the penny dropped.

“That’s typical Ronni – he pretends his English is terrible when it suits him, and he comes straight to the point. It was just yet another one-night stand and Ronnie assumed he would never see her again.” But after finding out she was pregnant, and convinced Ronaldo was the only possible father, the woman tracked him down through his agent, Jorge Mendes.
Mendes told Ronaldo, who immediately told his no-nonsense mother Dolores, 55, and sisters Elma, 34, and 33-year-old Liliana Cátia.

It was agreed that Ronaldo would give DNA for a paternity test once the baby was born and provide support for the mother and child if it proved to be his. The friend revealed: “Cristiano was told the result while he was away at the World Cup.” And then Dolores stepped in. The friend said: “Ronni is a multi-millionaire playboy, but when it comes to family, he’s very much his mother’s son. They are a close-knit, traditional Roman Catholic family and the minute paternity was established there was absolutely no doubt that Ronni would be doing the right thing. There was simply no question of him walking away. Even if he had wanted to, Dolores just would not have entertained it for one moment. This is her grandchild and there was only one option for the child’s upbringing – with her and her daughters in Portugal. The child’s mother would be properly provided for to enable her to live a life in keeping with the upbringing the child will have.”

“Ronni has not decided whether to involve the mother in his son’s life. He thinks he might tell him who she is. Dolores’s view is that if the child eventually decides to make contact with the mother, it is important she is living an affluent lifestyle. It would offend Dolores for the child to find his mother living in poverty. It’s a huge amount of money, but Ronni insists it’s not a big deal because he’s worth £100million and he’s got the best part of his career ahead of him still.”

Despite being voted FIFA Player of the Year in 2009 and moving to Real Madrid from Manchester United for a recordbreaking £80million last year, Ronaldo had a poor World Cup in South Africa. Tipped to be one of the mega-stars of the tournament, he scored just once in five games, prompting speculation about his indifferent form.

But his friend insisted: “Ronni said was pleased to become a father, even though he hadn’t planned to have the child. He hasn’t even told his closest friends who the mother is. I had guessed she was a Bunny Girl from Vegas, but she isn’t a well-known party girl or socialite. She had hardly a dime to her name until she was paid by Ronni.”

Meanwhile Ronaldo has shown no sign of curbing his womanising.

A source said: “This week he has on Facebook contacting women who will talk dirty. He is determined to be the best father he can – but he doesn’t equate that with having to settle down.”

This week the public got a glimpse of the child when the baby was rushed to hospital after suffering a mystery illness at home in the Algarve.

[From The Daily Mirror]

My favorite part is this line: “They are a close-knit, traditional Roman Catholic family and the minute paternity was established there was absolutely no doubt that Ronni would be doing the right thing.” The right thing, in this case, was apparently to pay the woman off and take her baby from her and set the baby up with the father’s mother and sister? BECAUSE THEY’RE CATHOLIC. Why do some Catholics believe in this salad bar of traditions? Like, Ronaldo will f-ck anything that moves and that’s okay, but when a girl gets knocked up, all of a sudden the Church gets involved in what’s wrong and right?

Ronaldo on July 9, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin.