Some days I sit around and think to myself, “That Paris Hilton just doesn’t get enough publicity.” And it really is upsetting, because who is more deserving of love and attention than our dear, demure Paris? That’s right, freaking nobody. Luckily British television station Living TV has decided to take pity on the poor socialite and offer Paris her own show. Because that’s certainly never been done before – and if it had, it certainly wasn’t an incredibly dull half hour of enduring the sound of Paris’ flat affect and wonky eye. This time around, Paris’ costars will be dogs instead of Nicole Richie. Insert your own joke here ___________ ___________ ___ ________.

Paris Hilton is set to host a satellite TV show about pet grooming. The 27-year-old socialite has reportedly signed a deal with Britain’s Living TV television channel to star in ‘Paris’ Pooches’, in which she will manage a beauty parlor for dogs in Bond Street, London. A source told Britain’s Sunday Star newspaper: “The shop is perfect for Paris. It’s a subject she’s passionate about and it’s a way for her to break into UK TV.

“Watching Paris act out her Los Angeles lifestyle, in which tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance, should be very entertaining. And she will no doubt be hitting the clubs and parties over here in the same way she does back home.” The hotel heiress — who’s dating Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden — was recently investigated by Los Angeles authorities after claiming to have 17 dogs — 14 more than city bylaws allow. She once claimed to have 600 pets in her various homes including a Rottweiler dog, a bobcat and a Lhasa Aspo.

[From Showbiz Spy]

Giving Paris Hilton the opportunity to be around more animals is like giving a serial killer a knife. Could anything good come of it? No. Will innocent creatures be harmed? Probably. Will Paris Hilton somehow be to blame? Yes, equally in both scenarios. There is actually a website/online petition called Tell Paris No! whose mission is to dissuade the heiress from collecting more animals that she can’t/doesn’t care for. Something tells me they wouldn’t be a big fan of giving her free reign over a bunch of helpless puppies. You just know she’s going to stuff one of them down her shirt and run away.

Header of Paris and her boyfriend Benji Madden on April 16th. According to WENN, they were “leaving Gilgamesh restaurant in Camden having arrived at 11.30pm for a very late dinner!! They then headed to Crystal nightclub, where they spent the rest of the evening partying until 3.30am! Paris is wearing a Lamis Khamis dress, a Chanel bracelet and a white crucifix with her black leather jacket.” Older photo of Paris with what I’m going to say is her kinkajou and a chihuahua. Though I’m not 100% sure which is which. Images thanks to WENN.