Apparently Jamie Spears is the new Joe Simpson. Papa Spears isn’t just improving Britney’s finances and fragile mental state –according to Star magazine, Jamie has offered Kevin Federline up to $14 to reconcile and eventually remarry Brit. Whoever said arranged marriages were out of vogue?

The story is in Star, so it could be totally made up – the plethora of exclamation points always makes you wonder. But considering just how much K-Fed has gotten his act together – and just how much Jaime Spears has gotten Britney’s act together – you can’t help but wonder if this is true. And rumors of this nature have been floating around for a little while now.

They say money can’t buy love, but Britney Spears’ dad doesn’t believe it. Jamie Spears has offered Brit’s ex Kevin Federline a $14.5 million incentive package to reconcile with and remarry his daughter, a source tells tar – and he’s doing it behind Britney’s back!

“Jaime’s been after Kevin to get back with Britney for months. He knows he may have to pay to get it done – and the money would come out of Britney’s assets, which he now controls,” the source said, adding that Jamie first approached K-Fed a few weeks ago with a $2 million offer. but Jamie is so desperate to make this reunion happen, “he keeps raising the stakes!

“His latest offer is $4.5 million in cash and a trust account set up with another $5 million if Kevin moves back in with Britney within a year. If they actually remarry, Jamie will add another $5 million to Kevin’s account.” Even if Britney, 26, asks for a divorce within two years, the source says, Kevin gets to keep all the money. “All in all, Jamie told Kevin, he’ll make out very well.”

[From Star Magazine, June 16, 2008, print ed.]

There’s only one problem with this. Scratch that – there’s at least one big problem with this. While Jamie does have control of Brit’s finances, I seriously doubt that means he can spend her money willy nilly. I’m sure he’s held accountable to someone, and if nothing else could get the crap sued out of him if he misappropriates Brit’s cash. How in the world is he going to “secretly” spend $14 million? I really doubt a judge – or whoever Jamie has to justify this to – would sign off on buying Britney a husband.

According to Star, Kevin is holding out for a cool $20 million. Apparently that’s how much a man demands in order to sleep with – and deal with – Britney Spears.

And considering how crazy her life was under K-Fed’s influence, you have to wonder how much good he really can do for her. True, Federline has dramatically cleaned up his act in the past few years. But it’s hard to say he was good for Britney the first time around, regardless of where they both are now in their lives. But according to Star, Jamie Spears believes that K-Fed really does complete Britney, crazy as it is.

Jamie supposedly thinks that he and K-Fed could open a Britney-themed company of some sort, with Kevin managing all the marketing. It’d have the good old Britney clothes, dolls, lunchboxes, etc. All the stuff she was able to sell in mass quantities to teenagers when she was one herself. The question still remains though: even if Britney gets back into the studio and records good stuff, will she still be relevant to today’s teenagers, 10 years after her big break? Something tells me her original fans – now in their mid-twenties – won’t be lining their shelves with Britney dolls anytime soon.

Britney supposedly purchased her future grave site this week. While at first I thought that was a sign that she was regressing, if the story is true it’s actually a big step forward, as she told her that she wanted to be buried there when she dies at 101.

Troubled Britney Spears has reportedly chosen her own burial plot. The ‘Toxic’ hitmaker visited Hollywood’s Forever Cemetery over the weekend; and after looking at the graves of Marilyn Monroe and Italian actor Rudolph Valentino, the 26-year-old decided she wants to be laid to rest there.

A source reveals, “Britney is fascinated with Marilyn and visits her grave often. Since she’s been getting her life together she’s been reading about the star and recently has been glued to a book about the actress. She’s fascinated that Marilyn asked her favorite make-up artist to make her look beautiful after she died and picked her own burial plot. So when Britney saw Rudolph Valentino’s grave at the cemetery she shrieked and said she wanted one.

“She told her aides, ‘I’m going to live so I want to be brought to the Forever Cemetery when I’m 101’.”

[From Showbiz Spy via Gossip Rocks]

Photos are older file images of Britney and Kevin when they were together; thanks to WENN.