This Charlie Sheen story has kind of made my day. No, I do not think getting violent with any woman is funny. But the idea of police walking into Charlie’s hotel room and finding his drunk and/or coked out of his skull, with the entire suite trashed (including the chandelier), all while a hooker screams from the closet… well, that image has made my day. Charlie has been out of control for so long… my God. It’s a wonder he’s not dead. And it’s so bad that even People Magazine can’t whitewash it – their report includes police sources saying “Police responded to a call for an intoxicated male… [he was] in the company of a female, unharmed.” And “I believe he was irrational and intoxicated.” But never fear, people! Charlie’s PR team is on the move! Charlie’s rep is telling everyone who will listen that the whole thing is just the result of an allergic reaction! An allergic reaction to hookers and blow, I guess.

Charlie Sheen was hospitalized early Tuesday morning in NYC because he “had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication,” his rep tells UsMagazine.com.

The actor, 45, “is expected to be released tomorrow.”

The New York Post first reported that Sheen was found highly intoxicated and naked in his posh room at The Plaza Hotel early Tuesday morning.

Tables and chairs had been thrown around in his suite and a chandelier also was damaged, sources told the Post. The paper cites sources who claim Sheen told police he had been “out partying” and flipped out when he returned to his room and couldn’t find his wallet.

TMZ reports he was “emotionally disturbed” when he arrived at the hospital. Police spokesman Paul Browne tells the Associated Press no complaints were made and no arrest was made. No criminal charges are expected, either, he said.

Earlier this year, Sheen was ordered to 30 days in rehab after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge in his domestic violence case involving estranged wife Brooke Mueller.

[From Us Weekly]

Seriously? Is that the best that Charlie’s world-class PR team can come up with? I could have come up with “Allergic reaction”. Instead of crying about how sad this is all is, let’s just make a list of the ten best excuses for this incident:

1. It was the hooker’s birthday.
2. Charlie had an allergic reaction to the hooker’s nipple clamps.
3. Charlie had an allergic reaction to the hooker’s leather hood.
4. The hooker was a dude. And Charlie had an “allergic reaction” to dong.
5. The hooker stole his wallet! Everything is justified.
6. He’s just a milkaholic child!
7. He’s a loveable comedic actor!
8. It was Monday.
9. He’s really worried about Haiti.
10. He was trying to create a teachable moment for his daughters.

UPDATE: I’m SHOCKED! Radar reports that Charlie was doing a boatload of cocaine the past few days weeks months years. Even the hooker was like “Seriously, he did lines off of my ass.” Not really, but that’s what she should have said.