*Note: Click on the images to see them enlarged. IF YOU DARE.
Oh, Jesus. I don’t… I can’t… drag queen… hot mess… wax figure… inappropriate… ghastly…so hideous can’t form sentences.
In case you couldn’t tell, the above photo is the official Kardashian Christmas card. Because Christmas is the time of the year when we celebrate the baby Jesus, robots, Botox, Photoshop horrows, and tweens dressed in provocative ball gowns whilst slathered in drag queen/goth makeup. Absolutely NO ONE looks good. I had a moment of “Maybe Rob doesn’t look like a drag queen” but NO. Even he looks retouched and odd, just not AS odd as the rest of them.
Khloe Kardashian posted all of this on her site – my personal favorites are the close-ups of Kourtney’s tragic face. Can these women do ANYTHING without a mountain of makeup? And poor little Mason-Dixon. In the Christmas card he’s just standing there like “Children of the what now…?”
Photos courtesy of Khloe Kardashian’s Celebuzz site.
eww
oh no. the baby looks just like eddie munster, and the rest of the family does not help.
………….a big WTF.
The only half-decent dress is Khloe’s. And about the rest of them.. IS IT THE ADAMS FAMILY?? It’s Xmas! Where are the decoration and the smiles??? Guess they’re too botoxed to do that. And they should at least wear something red, green, or gold. NOT BLACK. And not so distant among each others!
And Jesus, look at the young ones. With THOSE dresses… I am speechless.
It creeps me out. Really.
The only one who looks even remotely human is Lamar. And even he is toe-ing the line.
On a positive note, Mason is a cutie pie.
They’re creepy and they’re kooky, Mysterious and spooky, They’re all together ooky………
I know blank, death masks stares, gloomy faces, dark, heavy face grease, and grey/blk decor is what XMas means to me.
This pic is like Christmas at Bleak House on Absinthe Lane.
(I wasn’t sure if you saw them, so sorry for redundancy in the other post, Kaiser)
Khloe’s dress is pretty, and I know I’m going to get staked for this… but Scott Disick looks quite handsome in these pics to me! *IF YOU DARE* Hee-effin’-larious
I like Kourtney’s outfit. That’s the only nice thing I can say about this.
Shouldn’t it be the Kardashian Kristmas Kard?
OMG they look like an Adamms Family portrait – AWFUL
Kreepy Kardashians.
Mason is adorable!! I don’t get why Kourt and Scott are off to the side, like they’re not a part of the family.
WTF? I am not even sure what are they aiming for. And whoever photoshoped this picture was very heavy handed.
What I find most disturbing in the young teen girls who look as old as their 30-something sisters.
I admit – I do like Khloe’s dress. I think she looks great.
I know the names Kim, Kourtney and Khloe, but I don’t know who anyone else is (well, the parents) but who’s the girl with the green, furry shoulder pads?
Looks like a glamour (trashy) réclame of a funeral home, seriiously.
I like the dress Morticia (the one on the left, don’t know who she is) is wearing.
That Patrick Bateman impersonator alone is creepy beyond words.
“Mason-Dixon?” Is that actually the child’s name? What’ll they name the next one, “Stars n’ Bars?” “Dixie-Bell Lou Bob?” “Yankie-Reb” is good.
Jenner looks like Christopher Walken’s Mummy. What’s Cronenberg’s daughter doing in the shot standing beside Kim?
Nice to see they put the Christ back in Christmas, as in “Holy Christ!”
This is by far, the worst Christmas card I have ever seen. Not one damn smile for Christmas??? These people are whacko!
I kind of like it, but not for Christmas. I think Khloe looks pretty, and I actually like what Kourtney/Scott/Mason have going on- they look like Salsa dancers, which I like!
What?! WHAT in the name of HBO-serial-killer kind of family pic is this?!
soap opera cast looking….cool.
Bill Hicks – that’s just what I call him! His real name is Mason Disick, which sounds like Mason-Dixon.
Actually, I think Kourtney is probably one of the best looking in the picture. I think it’s her hair.
The picture makes me think of the Crypt Keeper for some reason. This might have been what he has been hiding. O.o;
How is that Christmassy at all? No decorations…everyone sour faced…Kim looking like an Alien.
#16..No, that was Kaiser being all jokey. The baby’s first name is Mason and his last name is Disick, hence “Mason-Dixon”. Get it?
puke
They couldn’t even find a sharp, stabby, metal silver and black XMas tree to drape with cobwebs, purple velvet, and old church door keys or SOMETHING to make this a tad bit more festive?
Why is Kourtney shoved off to the side in the bottom photo? They don’t like her anymore?
I dunno what everyone’s fixation is on this family…and I thought family portraits should ould include some kind of warm feeling towards each person involved. Seems like everyone in the portrait is just making sure they look “fierce” – ugh
If that came in the mail to me I would burn it. I wouldn’t even have it sitting outside in my trash. It’s just scary.
Kim looks like a Barbie doll, and I mean that in the worst way possible. They are all sooo plastic. It took me a full minute to realize the ones I didn’t really recognize where the “little” sister… they look old, and again I mean that in the worst possible way.
What a freaky picture. The first person my eyes settled on was Kim. Is looking like an alien her newest way to stand out?
Munsters much but I give them an A for artistic effort.
Everyone looked better before the high-gloss effect & Photoshopping generally.
As it is, I’d say they look like the Addams family, but I wouldn’t want to insult the Addamses.
Looks like the Adams Family in drag.
is it halloween or Christmas
@ER
That’s 15 year old Kendall Jenner.
I don’t even know what to say about this extremely weird “Christmas” card.
Especially the last picture it is just crazy.
LMAO! I feel sorry for Lamar what family did he get himself into. Horrible!
Edit: Kourtney looks like a FUCKIN* loner in the last picture. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
… I can’t touch this one. There are sooo many things wrong here that I don’t know where to begin.
Well, except, poor child, being stuck in that family…
@Bill Hicks, that was awesome! Ten bucks says someone names their kid Yankie-Reb in the next year (unironically, of course).
Budget Dynasty.
Nolan Miller weeps silently over his figgy pudding.
As much as I despise this all, though…Khloe’s dress is good.
lol Kim does look like an alien, especially in the last pic. O.O
Of course, an alien with a heavy touch of whoryness.
LMFAO!! my day at work has been shitty, so thanks for this.
Disgusting how they are letting the teen girls look. Oh that’s right that’s why they are famous, for being disgusting.
Kim has serious cat eyes going on. The arm posing to make their arms thinner just completes the tone of this cold, impersonal family portrait.
it’s a goth christmas for the kardashes. oh how edgy! *eyeroll*
this is absolutely ridiculous
That baby is no more Scott’s than he is mine. And I am a very white Female. . Not one piece of that child resembles him. My husband is Armenian and my kids still look like mine. The family is Beautiful but it is Adams family. To each their own. I just hope Scott gets the news sooner than later.
I’m sorry – I know I should hate it, but I love it. I do.
Who. Does. This. Shit?
No, seriously, who does this??? For a freaking Christmas card? It looks like some Adamms Family/Dynasty love child gone wrong. I somehow must be missing all the joy and happiness that this card conveys….
a TON of makeup. extensions, lashes and plastic surgery..
all wrong and the last person to wear white should be Kim, LOL!!!
all thos folks and not one ounce of talent..whatever man-smdh
Hmmm…looks like the cover of a V.C. Andrews book…
I would totally love to blow this up (not THAT kind of blow-up! I meant ENLARGE IT) and then cut out the heads so my friends and I could pose for our own trashy portraits.
Hideous does not even come close here. Words. Fail.
Please, Famous-For-Being-Urinated-On, do not try to infer your idiot family is at all as excellent as the Addams family. Disgusting fame whores.
AND…..OMG people, do not go here. Just DO. NOT. DO. IT. You will be walking directly into the mouth of Hell.
Oh, okay, if you must:
http://nicksaglimbeni.com/
Remember, you have been warned.
I don’t know what you drank Kaiser – Kourtney looks STUNNING in these pictures! She definitely has the face for pulling the “dark lady in the 40s” look off.
I hate when people put their babies/toddlers/small children in suits and ties. Until you know how to behave and move in a suit, you shouldn’t be wearing one.
UGH.
Kaiser had me going for sure, because you know celebrities are just such colossal stooges when it comes to naming their kids; I totally bought it, lol!
i actually kind of like this!
also, i know that they do this every year, so its not so strange. its just like everyone else who takes christmas cards, only they have the money to wear couture and get their faces ‘shopped.
Who’s the gorgeous older woman in the suit on the stairs?
Kendall, Rob, Scott and Mason all look like themselves but the rest have been ridiculously photoshopped.
That little suit makes Mason look like ‘The Godfather’ xD
The Addam’s Family meets high fashion meets The Godfather. So, so depressing. Can’t tell which are the young girls, either. Looks like Jenner has stopped arguing, he’s never going to win any of those fights.
I’m so glad someone else brought up the Addams Family comparison. All of the women look like Wednesday Addams. Especially the one sitting at the bottom of the stairs and Kourtney. And none of them looks like real people. This is the Kardashians’ Klaymation Kristmas, not an actual Christmas card.
HILARIOUS!! The young girls look like they got into mommies makeup and clothes. Lamar looks mortified to be there. Chloe looks like a beast as always. Kim looks terrible in a dress way to tight and that bun on her head? Courtney has wayyyy to much makeup on. The mom, son and Bruce look ok but the rest of them are hilarious looking!
They are posing like they are a “Dynasty”.
I wonder if that is how they see themselves. Well America is helping them make money so..
You get what you get.
Ha ha ha ha ha, what is that mess? Ultimate Cat face, Eddie Munster, Patrick Bateman, Christopher Walken, Morticia – they’re a bunch of creepy characters. The only thing of beauty in the photos is Khloe’s dress. Even Lamar looks like a botoxed alien. Also, could someone ask Bruce Kardashian how easy is it for a man to so completely, for money, lose his own identity to the point of him and his own children being called by his wife’s ex-husband’s last name?
Why do the men look more feminine than the women? I swear these girls are men!
I think Khloe actually looks really pretty here. And Kourtney looks great, albeit very 80’s Baby Boomer. It is a little weird, but the worst part, by far, is Kim’s FACE! WHAT. THE. HELL?!?! She looks like some kind of alien princess. She doesn’t have any eyeballs!
I think it was a good idea in theory that got a little off-track in reality.
Mason looks EXACTLY like Rob. Exactly.
the comments on this post are the best I have read in a while. this seemed to bring everyone’s inner snark comedian out. hilarious. it is super children of the Korn, and Kortney’s wonk-eye is getting really noticeable lately.
kim in her stupid white look-at-me dress ruins it even more because the pallet is so off and clashy with the rest of the gothy muted colors everyone else is in.
and Bruce. WTF is wrong with your face! he looks like the ice-age mummy they found in the alps!
and lamar looks like sloth from the goonies back there all lurkey mclurkster.
Michael K on dlisted: What in the Addams Family meets Aaron Spelling cast picture meets Awkward Family Photos meets mannequin factory HELL is the meaning of this hilarious bronzer mess? This might be the best thing the Kardashians have ever done.
Look like one of the covers of the old VC Andrews books.
I think Khloe looks great though-I love that dress!
Halloween photo?
What in the tranny hell? I didn’t know Aaron Spelling was re-animated and producing again…
I don’t like the way they’re arranged, it doesn’t make any sense
I want to see them in t-shirts and jeans.
It looks like a cover of the V.C. Andrew’s novel. lololololololol
Who is the girl in front of Kim with the black gloves? I dont know them all and get them mixed up.
I actually kind of like this pic, not necessarily for xmas but its different.
they have GOT to stop making that young one happen. She is NOT model material. period.
Oh my gosh…the comments are almost better than the story. They totally look Addams family. It’s tragic.
Looks like they are recreating a scene from Dynasty. Tacky, really tacky.
i don’t understand why, with the money these people have, they don’t invest in a better photo editor. It literally looks like they are cut outs that were pasted on a background.
It looks like the mortician worked overtime for this.
Why are they all so horribly photoshopped?
Scott and Mason look the best. The girls look downright scary.
LOL, They want to revisit those ’80’s TV shows typical cast picture like “Dinasty” or “Dallas”.
Sorry folks, you are not the EWING !!!
I can’t NOT look at it and hum the Addams Family song. Ew.
The one to the left of Kim looks absolutely terrified.
Guess what I’ve been doing all day? Photoshopping people’s Xmas cards!! Hate to break it to you all–I work at a pro lab and we fix most pics on the cards. Mostly we correct color/density, etc., but for the big problems…it’s photoshop all the way. We don’t tell 99% of the people what we’ve done. They just expect great results. (Oh yeah, we correct grammar and spelling too)
For the Kardashians, I remember reading that they do themed pics every year. We can all see this year’s theme!
With respect to red/green and decorations. Putting all that in pics is usually distracting and not so pretty. My general reaction to that is thank God I’m Jewish.
This is a CHRISTMAS card? Um, FAIL.
I do like Khloe’s dress though, and the baby is cute. Other than that? They look like deranged wax figures.
Looks like a photo shoot for The Adams Family 2010
The first thing that I noticed was Kim’s eyes. They’re frightening, like something not of this planet.
I love the V.C. Andrews references! In high school, my girlfriends and I would pass those trashy books amongst one another. Memories!
This picture really highlights just how much work Kim has had done to her face. She’s rocking Wildenstein-meets-“Total Eclipse of the Heart”-meets-Xenu eyes here. Unless that topknot is too tight, I’m guessing she had work done since none of her relatives have the same eye shape and angle as she does–not even close.
I hope she keeps working on it until she manages to rotate each eye a full 90 degrees. That would be cool.
It would have been more festive if they’d lined up folks like Tom and Jada and Kirstie to gaze through a nearby window in wonderment at the Baby Xenu.
How can u say that’s not his kid? I have two neither look anything like me. I am white and my husband is Sri lankan. My kids look like my mother in law. There is no resemblance. I was conscious when they both were born ….so really
Lamar is the butler – Lurch.
Ha! It looks likes the Botoxed Adams Family. These are some scary pictures.
Folks, beware, here are the new Carrington family with Kim who stole Joan Collins ‘Alexis Carrington’ typical pose.
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1037/721216405_9076092443.jpg
For all the money these people are pulling in,not one of them could crack a smile? MEGA FAIL!!!
Please please make them go away? Is there a day that goes by we don’t have something on these people in the media. WHY WHY WHY!!! The 15 minutes is turning into years. UGH!
Can someone please explain WHO THE F*** ARE THESE PEOPLE???? Why are they famous???
They look like absolute NOBODIES!!!!!
Why are you interested in them? What have they done to deserve any attention???
This must have been taken right before Patrick…um… Scott murdered the entire family. ( Don’t worry, Mason is the sole survivor and gets to live with his real daddy.)
Frickin’ hilarious and so, so bad in every possible way.
Robert, Khloe,Lamar and little Mason are the only ones who are dressed somewhat appropriate and don’t look like circus freaks! Why in the FECK does is everyone else wearing death colors!?!? This looks like an overly dramatic 90210 set picture or something…
Slacka$$ Scott looks like Zac Efron in 10 years
Kris’s titties are tumbling out of her disco dress
Kim looks like a really great JLo drag queen/female impersonator
The two teenage girls are what’s killing me the most- one looks like Morticia and the other looks like a lady of the night stroking her leg on the staircase (wtf?)
Kourtney is a tragic Try Hard with that power suit and stone expression trying to say “I wear the pants” – we all know Slacka$$ Scott runs over you like a doormat!
Halloween is well overdue
I love it! They look great and certainly a lot more interesting than the standard family photo in front of a tree with the dog wearing antlers. Kudos for creativity. One just can’t stop looking at it. In this day and age of you can take it or leave it… this one just couldn’t leave. Great!
my main issue is the bright green shrug thing!
Looks like Dinasty card, not a Christmas one.
Kim doesn’t have eyes anymore?
wow!!!!! NOTHING about this picture says christmas, they should have at least put a tree or even a wreath in the pic, it looks more like a dynasty recreation
LOL HOW MANY COMMENTS FOR THIS!!!???!! HAAHA THE FAMILY PORTRAIT LOOKS LIKE ADAM’S FAMILY…..EWWWW….
I think Kourtney & Kendall look nice. Rest is just silly. Lamar looks like himself. I don’t mind the green shrug. It’s the only “christmasy” thing in photo
No, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t insult the Addams Family by comparing them to this lot! No, no, no.
And this is a card with a whole lot of ho, ho, ho. That’s for sure.
The pix are heavily photo shopped!!
death becomes them.
They make the Addams Family look normal.
Christmas is all about Gothic Hammer Horror-style family portraits. *Blech*
And I see they’ve all mastered the “Blue Steel” look.
Hark, the herald angels sing. Glory to Photoshopping.
Peace on earth and mercy mild, This photo is so wild
Joyful all ye nations rise, join the freaky of Kim’s eyes
When angelic hosts proclaim “Jesus this pic is so lame!”
Happy Whoredays from The Kardassians!
That’s the first thing I thought of…..Dynasty…all they need is a blonde & shoulder pads….ugh!
HAHA…I’m for sure the minority, but I LOVE IT!
Scott Dick looks even more like American Psycho reborn here.
Ugh! This looks like a gothy Twilight-esq movie still. If this is a Christmas photo, it’s a weird one.
The modern Adams family!!!Way beyond creepy!!!!!
It’s totally insane-like they are-and I kind of love it. I agree with the previous poster who said you can’t stop looking at it. Of course they’ve all had too much plastic surgery/Scott is completely creepy/the teenage girls are as usual dressed so inappropriately–but it’s so them! I love everyone’s comments too-especially the VC Andrews reference!
Absolutely hideous. A complete nightmare.
I don’t agree that Lamar looks ashamed to be there. That man knew exactly what he was doing when he married into that family – he’s know better than any of them IMO.
‘Tis baby Mason I feel sorry for, that’s who.
Kim has boned so many football players that she is now starting to look like one, tar under the eyes and all.
They look like vampires.
Ha ha made me laugh so hard. WHY is Kourtney off to the side in the naughty corner as if the rest of the family is saying “yeah you married that douchebag now you go over there missy!”. I don’t hate the picture if it had been done for like a 1950’s film noir and was sort of tongue and cheek but the fact that THIS is their xmas card … oh jesus please smite them … do it … come on … no one will mind I swear.
I just read the Dynasty comment and spewed out my coffee thinking of my once favorite soap opera. Dallas baby! This post was so full of win I love our how celebitchy family disagrees and fights like a real family but we all agree we hate these people.
i like it!! not for christmas, but maybe for a portrait above the fireplace kinda of thing. one complaint: why is kim the only one to wear white? considering the dark theme, shes way out of place. also kourtney is starting to look wierd…
I kind of love Khloe & Lamar here. I also think that Kourtney might strap one on for Scott. He looks like he’d be into it.
Wow. Nothing Christmas-y at all about those pics. They actually look like zombies getting ready to go to a ball. And Scott Disick looks like he would sustain burns if someone splashed holy water on him.
Is that Morticia on the lower left?
I am so over the kardashians. I give em another year before they are rolling around with paris in her pink trolley
ROFL! This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day! Hot mess! When Kloe is the best looking in the picture…
I actually like it, it’s kind of edgy. Definitely not traditional but tradition isn’t everyone’s game. It is very glamorous.
What in the hell. Did they even look at them? I wouldn’t want this to go anywhere. They all look hideous. Gross. And scary.
OMG!! All of my coworkers are like….
Nah AH.. NOOOOO.
This is a HOT MESS.
I am total agreement with the Adam’s family comments, that was the first thing that popped in my head.
Holy crap that is bad!
Equal parts hilarious and disgusting. Everyone involved should be embarrassed – oh wait, they have no shame.
Dude, Lamar has lost absolutely all of his credibility (if he ever had much to begin with in this new age of athletes-as-singular-audacious-wannabe-thug-celebrities). What is he doing?!
And I know you all disagree but I think the younger one who is sitting down (not the kreepy one in the way-too-buxom ball gown with the weird stare) looks lovely as always. Hope she doesn’t ruin her face like the rest of them have.
Has anyone noticed how all the men who married into the family are photographed in such a way that it would be easy to remove them from the photograph? Bruce,Lamar and Scott better watch their backs!
@Tara: Genetics is a crap shoot. My sister has an acquaintance that is Chinese. Her husband is white. Her from the womb kids have light eyes and blond hair and people think the mom is the babysitter. I have an Indian-West Indian friend w/half Italian kids. They think she’s the baby sitter as well.
There is a saying that the person that annoys the crap out of you the most during your pregnancy, is who your kid will look like. I guess she spent a lot of time wanting to kill brother.
Take that Royals; we got the real Klass! Booyah! *snert* Yeah…more WTF and why-do-I-care hilarity.
So, many freaking fantastic, hilarious comments. I. can’t. catch. my. breath.
I’ve been reading with horror about Michael Vick wanting to own a dog. Looks like Lamar Odom could definitely hook him up.
Which one is Morticia?
You guys crack me up! Funny! Courtney looks like that all the time. She is just so miserable ALL the time. Chloe’s attitude is best with this family and I agree that Bruce and his family have been sold out! HA!
Dont know what they were thinkin? They look like their dog just died.I have laughed my bun’s off reading the comments. The song Hark the Hearld angels sing,cracked me up more than any thing. Truely gifted . So I for one em glad they did their creepy card , because it as given load’s of laughter.NEXT YEAR fAMILY YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT ADDING A COFFIN
I’ve got to give them props, they knew they’d get strong reactions from people and comments like the ones posted above for being completely outrageous. They were being edgy and different and should get some cred for being downright over the top and unorthodox.
But it’s still totally creepy all over. Kreepy Kardashians…