This news made me sick when I read it yesterday. I had a mini-meltdown on Twitter. Until it occurred to me that this news might actually be a biscuit-tingler. We’ll see. Anyway, the news! Hollywood has long been gestating a desire to sh*t on the late Jeff Buckley’s memory by doing some kind of hipster bio-pic. For those who don’t know, Jeff Buckley was an extremely talented singer-songwriter who died tragically at the age of 30. He had the voice of an angel, and oh yeah, he was really, really hot too. And now Hollywood is going to disinter his remains and take a dump on them.

Welcome To The Rileys helmer Jake Scott has been set to direct an untitled film about Jeff Buckley, the rising star musician who died tragically at age 30 in 1997. Scott will direct a script by Ryan Jaffe (The Rocker). Michelle Sy and Orian Williams are producing, and Buckley’s mother Mary Guibert will be exec producer.

Buckley, son of the famed but troubled folk musician Tim Buckley, became an influence on musicians from Kurt Cobain to Coldplay. He shunned the spotlight, though, preferring to play small clubs and who for a long time played as a session guitarist to make a living. He recorded one hit album, Grace, and was on his way to doing another when he jumped into Tennessee’s Wolf River, fully clothed, for a spontaneous swim. He got caught in the wake of a passing boat and drowned.

Music rights to Buckley’s songs are part of the rights package and the producers have also optioned the David Browne book Dream Brother: The Lives and Music of Jeff and Tim Buckley, as a resource. Browne will be a consultant. Development of the project was funded by Houston-based financier Amy Vaughan King, and the producers are currently assembling the film’s financing in anticipation of a fall start. UTA reps Scott, who has directed videos with U2, R.E.M., Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, The Cranberries and others. Jaffe’s repped by WME.

[From Deadline]

This project has been discussed for many, many years, and I always kind of hoped that nothing would ever come of it. It’s just too… too much. Don’t do it. But it’s happening, and now we have to think about casting. The too-obvious choice is James Franco, who, as you can see, looks a great deal like Jeff Buckley. But is that pick too “on the nose”? And would Franco’s prevalent douche sink his chances to play Buckley? One would hope. The second obvious choice is probably Robert Pattinson – he too looks a bit like Buckley, and Sparkles probably has a leg up considering her already plays the guitar and sings (he writes his own music too, right?). Other names that I could see being considered: Andrew Garfield, Joaquin Phoenix, Joseph Gordon Levitt, or even Jared Leto. All terrible ideas.

But my choice is genius, and it’s the only casting choice I will no accept without throwing a massive tantrum: Michael Fassbender as Jeff Buckley! COME ON. Make it happen! They’re both beautiful, they both melt panties, they need to come together in one role and sing directly to me:

Archival images of Buckley, via Google Images. Additional pics by WENN.