“Do y’all see that hot derg, or is it just me?” – Britney Spears
Ever since Britney Spears’ breakdown in 2007-08, whenever she tours or performs, it is widely believed that Team Britney makes all of her crew and backup dancers sign contracts that will ensure that there will be no drug or alcohol use around Britney. I was looking for the both the first reports of this and the last – apparently, it’s been happening since December 2008 (according to our records) and as late as this month. Britney’s dancers can’t smoke crack or have a stiff drink while they’re working with her. Good deal. A not so great deal? The Sun reports that Team Britney won’t even allow junk food around Britney nowadays.
YOU’VE got to feel sorry for the crew on the BRITNEY SPEARS’ tour. The singer has given caterers strict instructions not to make any junk food because she’s not allowed it.
Hot dogs, pizza and cookie dough ice cream have all been blacklisted.
Staff can’t even look forward to having the odd beer to unwind after shows either as Brit has banned alcohol too.
If that’s not gutting enough, they are going to have to listen to MICHAEL JACKSON songs constantly. Britney has requested that Jacko’s albums be played on repeat in her dressing rooms. She has stockpiled his tour DVDs and enlisted the help of his dance team to recreate his routines.
Humidifiers will also be carted about after Britney heard that BEYONCE uses them to protect her voice. A mini gym is also being transported to each show.
[From The Sun]
Hahahahaha… Britney “protecting her voice.” Um, chica doesn’t SING in concert. From what I’ve heard, someone just puts on a CD and Britney just lip synchs and moves around a little bit during her concerts. That’s it. As for the junk food… that’s a bridge too far. True, most of the backup dancers probably eat healthy anyway, but if a dancer needs a hot dog, what is Team Britney going to do? Call the Hot Dog Police?
Anyway… yes, Britney’s backup dancer rules are way harsher than Taylor Swift’s. Swifty also bans alcohol and drugs, and Team Swifty also does random drug and alcohol testing, and the refusal of testing will result in firing. But if you work with Swifty, at least you get hot dergs. And cuddlefests.
Oh, and why didn’t CHEETOS make the list of banned substances?!?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
How did she not already know that humidifiers are good for your voice ? I’m not a singer and I knew. I remember Mariah Carey saying she had like 5 of them in her bedroom maybe 10 years ago.
Does the ban include cheetos and cheezwiz? I’m impressed!
Am I the only one who thinks Britney looks like Kelly Osborne, especially in the first photo?
she’s looking a little more chunky than usual. maybe it’s good that she ban calories.
The Sun is too cute in assuming the entire world doesn’t know already that Britney basically shows up, mimes the words, dances a bit and calls it a day. They’re still trying to make us believe she’s a singer. Aw, they crack me up!
Sorry but she is simply too old for this kind of image and the way of performance. And I CAN NOT believe that people are spending so much money to see her “singing” and “dancing”.
I think drugs ban is rational as for alcohol… well, that depends – if they face addiction problems often I might understand them. as for junk food – read carefully – the caterer won’t cook it! it doesn’t mean they can’t go out and find smth bad to eat!
Banning processed cheese for brit brit would be inhumane lol
Why do they insist on dressing her in unflattering leotards? She needs to go back to her original look of bootcut-sporty-pants-with-flashy-tank-tops. Would be way more forgiving.
She’s just making a fool of herself, now.
Am I wrong to think her fans have grown up? Shouldn’t she be growing with them?
Or are young adults these days just really into wobbly, apathetic 30-year-old lipsyncers pushing the limits of spandex to second-rate dance music prerecorded in the style that was popular a decade ago?
Maybe I am just not hip.
I’m on board with #6. What kind of a moron willingly pays big money to attend a Britney concert anymore?! and the hot dog ban made me laugh- does anyone remember that line in the Patty Duke song about, “Patty likes to rock and roll, a hot dog makes her lose control”. No? just me, I guess…..
man, she looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet with a bellyfull of cheetoes and cheez whiz, veering toward pathethic now
ITA with all the above comments. As an artist, shouldn’t she be growing and not putting out the same kind of stuff she put out when she first became popular? My bad – that’s assuming she’s an “artist.”
At this point I feel really bad for her. As was stated on a previous Britney post, I get the feeling she doesn’t want this anymore and is just doing it because she’s being forced to.
I have a mental image of Britney dressed in one of her saggy, vegas show girl on a dime leotards eating cookie dough from one of those pre-made tubes….
Because cheetos are delicious.
Well, Brit Brit has a massive fanbase that grew up to her music and they will be there to support her. They made her last tour a high-grossing tour, miming or no miming. I love love her new album, but I would never pay to see miming unless the dancing was amazing. And she’s lost that.
At least a humidifier is better than Madonna’s concerts, where she has the AC turned off up front for her vocals. I was hot as h…… but it was worth it to be up front and close.
@Zesty: You can only wear what she used to wear when you are slim. What she wears now is designed to try and slim her and elongate her legs.
i feel bad for her. she clearly doesn’t want to do this anymore, but her family would never let the money machine take a break or retire.
Cheetohs are a great substitute for smokes when your quitting. Except for the extra twenty pounds part.
@louise: Maybe it’s the fuller face? I often think Kelly Osbourne is perceived as larger than her actual size because she has such a round full face!
Team-Britney is freaky.
She cannot drink, do drugs, eat junk food, what else stay awake till midnight?
She could be sick but they’re treating her like a little child, I do pity her..
Interesting comment from my gay bff on Lady Gaga vs Britney:
“Gays love Britney because she’s the Brit Brit. She doesn’t pander, she’s just a hot mess we’d all like to clean up. Lady Gaga tries to hard to be loved by the gays and we kind of like to be ignored.”
I think I can almost see her puppet strings showing in those pics. Poor BritBrit. She has absolutely zero control over her life. So sad.
I think it’s a good thing. A career in entertainment isn’t worthy losing control of your life to drugs and entertainment, if you’re a drug addict and alcoholic. She’sthe employer, she gets to lay down the rules
Let us not forget that Britney has a mental illness, is on medications that dont mix with booze and can cause weight gain.
Thanks to her handlers/agents/dad who are doing what it takes to protect her, she is able to take the circus out on the road while raking in the bucks to secure her and her kids finacial future.
Fools are willing to pay money to see the likes of Charlie Sheen, Britney etc before their next crash .
The Taylor Swift Syndrome (that’s what I call it) – to ban the drugs, alcohol is fine by me but bitch don’t take away my snackies, it is what keeps me going.
I think it is Brits way of not cheating on her diet (trying to maintain weight) – we all know Brit will find it hard not to fight the urge of lollipops, snack and latte binge.
Roma:
Oh man, that makes so much sense because I always thought Gaga was more of a hag’s princess.
I was just saying last night that I need more hot dogs in my life. mmmmmmm
Good God, those are some bad pics of Brit xD
And… This oppressive regime is downright ridiculous. I love Britney, but WTF? She’s not a child or an invalid that can’t control her impulses (if she IS, she sure shouldn’t be on tour)… To the point that food items for staff have to be SO rigidly restricted.
Drugs & alcohol are one thing, but pizza & hot dogs? There has to be cruelty/labor laws against such blatant foodism xD (…. racism, but with food! I call food profiling!) I notice Twinkies & Cheetos have gone unscathed…
Okay first of all SHE didn’t ban anything. Her babysitters did. She isn’t allowed to have a cell phone or be on the internet, so she has no idea that people have been commenting about how fat she is! This is their way of trying to get her to slim down. The humidifier thing is a joke – save her voice? For what? She doesn’t even sing. I can’t wait for the Femme Fat Albert tour to start. More specific, can’t wait for the bad reviews. Why is this mental midget still “performing”
Does it really matter what they sign? Its not as if Britneys dad will be in their rooms personally so they can be doing drugs, drinking & eating junk food after the shows. They will just have to be secretive about it — and im sure they will.
Don’t they mean Daddy says…What is strange to me is she seems the same size now as when people were calling her fat.
Jeez, she’s like the special needs kid of the pop industry. cant dance, cant sing, cant handle interviews… only her rabid fans will pay to see her in person and encourage this pathetic facade. just retire already and stop embarrassing yourself.
The humidifier is what clued me in that this Sun story is a bunch of BS. Since when did she EVER care about her “voice”? She can barely sing to begin with, and she lip-syncs at her concerts, so why on earth would she give two sh*ts about having a humidifier? LOL…that’s funny!
I agree with all the above re what a pathetic facade this is for all her misguided fans; there’s a dichotomy here in so far as people watch talent shows (AI, etc.) where real live singing is required, so it is not as thought the public has given up totally for mediocre lip synchers; they apparently adjust their standards for the type of performers.
But how will they survive without cookie dough?
Britney’s zombie eyes are just as bad as Katie Holmes’ – it’s a little sad and scary at the same time. She just looks like she going through the motions – a robot on auto.