Linnocent is a cracked-out Aphrodite, rising from the Miami surf

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Here are even more photos of Linnocent chilling out in Miami. These pics are from her cracked-out beach time – she was photographed rising out of the Atlantic, like a crackheaded, methed-out Aphrodite rising from the surf. Actually, she looks more like a Cracken if we’re making Greek mythological allusions. Here’s my favorite photo:

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“SCREEEEEEEEE!!”

Anyhoodle, Linnocent is allegedly in Miami because she was doing a photo shoot for Plum Magazine, but at this point, I think she’s just hanging out in Miami on the magazine’s dime. According to Page Six, the photo shoot only took place on Saturday, and Linnocent spent Friday, half of Saturday, and Sunday in various Miami clubs and bars – Fontainebleau’s LIV and Arkadia nightclubs. They even say that Linnocent was so cracked out, she rushed into the DJ booth and started “deejaying”. I’m sure she was drinking “water” the whole time. By the way, whatever happened to all of her community service hours that she was so eager and happy to fulfill? Guess all of those women in need will have to fend for themselves!

In other Linnocent news, did you hear about these Stephen King rumors? He gave an interview where he discussed the possibility of a remake of Carrie, the King book which was brilliantly adapted by Brian De Palma into a film starring Sissy Spacek. King said that he wouldn’t really be opposed to casting Linnocent as Carrie in a possible remake, especially if David Lynch or David Cronenberg got their hands on it. When Linnocent heard this, her crack hustle went into full effect. She ran to TMZ and had them run a story based on “sources” saying that she would be “stoked” to work on the project and it “would be epic.” AND she also wants a part in The Dark Tower. Oh, Stephen King! What crackheadednesss hath he wrought? Sidenote: Does Linnocent think she’s so friggin’ important and desirable as a professional that she couldn’t comment DIRECTLY about Stephen King? She’s so used to calling up TMZ and feeding them quotes and stories using “sources” as her byline that she’s forgotten how to react to a rumor directly.

By the way, in this photo you can see Linnocent handling some prescription meds. Of course.

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

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70 Responses to “Linnocent is a cracked-out Aphrodite, rising from the Miami surf”

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  1. brin says:

    Definitely the Cracken! Love how she takes a dip in all her(?) jewelry! They are going to have to photoshop this to death!

  2. vanessa says:

    Yuck….She needs to stop the drugs and boozing, she looks about 50 in the face when she’s coming out of the water..

  3. the original bellaluna says:

    Blohan’s hangin’ in Miami ‘cuz they got the good shit, and she knows (nose) it!

  4. Westcoaster says:

    Lets say this photo shoot pays a few thousand dollars,would that really be enough to support the lifestyle she lives? Partying, trips,shopping where does the money come from to do all of this? This is the first time in quite a while I have actually seen Lindsay working

  5. Praise St. Angie! says:

    brin, I was just about to say…who the F swims with all their jewelry on? in a pool is one thing, but in the surf where it can be lost forever?

    also, Lindz, honey…when you have terrible cheap extensions, it looks really bad when you put your hair up in a bun and everyone can see where they’re connected to your real hair. seriously, that’s like Brit-weave going on there.

    and um…didn’t they already re-make Carrie? and it sucked? so, why do it all over again?

  6. Quest says:

    Oh good god, for someone her age she looks tired and battered, her body should not look like that.

  7. TinaWithPom says:

    Rachel Zoe’s face.

  8. brin says:

    @bellaluna…lol, release the crack(en)!

  9. the_blonde_one says:

    she’d have been better served with a flea dip than a sea dip. bleh

  10. Cherry Rose says:

    Why is her belly button up so high? And it didn’t take long for her to decide to skip her community service.

    Let the drama start all over…

  11. Quest says:

    Where is Madusa’s head when we need it?

  12. Ben says:

    Hahahahaha SCREEEEE!! Seriously, she will haunt my dreams.

  13. Kaboom says:

    Crackphrodite?

  14. brin says:

    @Praise St. Angie…only cracked out Lindsay! Since it’s most likely not her jewelry, she probably doesn’t care!
    @the_blonde_one….true, lol!

  15. dorothy says:

    Bless her heart, she’s such a fool.

  16. the_blonde_one says:

    you guys are so mean. that is jewelrey she FOUND in the sea. no wait. that is jewlry that was GIVEN to her by Posieden HIMSELF because he’s going to make her his QUEEN. jeez.

  17. the original bellaluna says:

    @ brin – Release the crackie, indeed! 😀

  18. the original bellaluna says:

    @ the_blonde_one – HA! Now how are they supposed to disinfect the Atlantic? (Lysol only works on non-porous surfaces!)

  19. Ruby Red Lips says:

    As much as I hate to admit anything nice about Linnocent, she does have a fab figure curvy in all the right places….oh god, now I feel sick…Help me pls….

  20. logan says:

    Hey @Vanessa watch it, I’m 53 and do not look any where near this persons age. No daffy duck lips or hair that looks like it could fall out any second. Photo Shop? yes please!

  21. Jackson says:

    Jeebus, she looks like the Predator. I must say I’m disappointed she didn’t go with corn rows. Nasty.

  22. Riley says:

    Why is that dude all wet?

  23. the_blonde_one says:

    @riley, he’s an ocean garbage picker that just earned his raise

  24. gobo says:

    She can’t work as an actress. She’s uninsurable and unlike say, Robert Downey Jr, she does not have the talent or will to sober up to make her worth taking a chance on. She’s going to the bottom, it’s just taking longer than expected.

  25. Madisyn says:

    I know I sound like I’m beating a dead horse and others have said the same but she’s going to do her CS the EXACT SAME WAY she completed her alcohol ed classes. Major fail!

    Mornin bellaluna, brin

  26. Happymom says:

    Is it going to be a Carrie update where she’s 50 and terrorizing people? Because there is no way in hell she is going to play a high school student.

  27. sapphire says:

    No, she’s going to be Carrie’s crazy mom! Talk about EPIC!

  28. Schnauzers!!!! says:

    Wow. She is way younger than I am and she looks terrible. 🙁

    I wish these “people” who are in charge of her welfare (her MOTHER, the JUDGE, her LAWYER, her FRIENDS) would help her instead of enabling her crackhead ways. They are just as bad – if not worse, as she is in my eyes.
    By helping, I mean give her some HARD CORE consequences, because that is what she needs. I think they are just waiting on her to die.

  29. brin says:

    Hasn’t Florida suffered enough with the oil spill? Get outta that water, Crackie!
    *waving at Madisyn*

  30. Blue says:

    She sure is having a good time for someone who is supposed to be on trouble. But I guess a free trip to Miami beats community service any day. I would really like to know how many more chances this chick is gonna get? I mean really no one cares that she’s gonna be in an early grave? No wonder she’s so messed up, her “friends” and fam don’t give a shit as long as the money is coming in.

  31. I saw her on the beach by 15th and Ocean and people that girl is not alright! She couldn’t stay still like she was having crack withdraws or something. Poor girl.

  32. Madisyn says:

    I can’t be bothered with this twit when I’m extra extra sad about Joplin, MO. I know I’m in Burbank,CA but I’m crying, gotta go.

  33. Lou says:

    You KNOW it’s really bad when Crackie Ho-han does her stripper routine in the ocean but even the seagulls won’t go near her, even though there’s free food all around.

  34. really says:

    Wrong, wrong and more wrong…. she looks 90! Just awful!

  35. Lou says:

    Even the ducks have rescinded their duck lip copyright from Blowhan – her lips are no longer duckish; instead the top one curls up and over the bottom one now like a freaky clam that had the top shell smashed.

  36. Roma says:

    Carrie’s a teenager. How the hell could this bag of leather pull of 17?

  37. constance says:

    She always. always knows where the cameras are. She hustles hard. I bet she SMS her mom every morning with “rise and grind bi$#hes!”

  38. Amanda says:

    That blond hair is effing hideous.

  39. NayNay says:

    She’s a washed up has-been at her age. I do not care if she gets any roles, because she is and will always be a d-list celebrity.

  40. Rio says:

    @Praise St. Angie!

    Yes, they did. My Dad worked on it. It sucked. Everyone thought it sucked. Especially me, since it meant I had to live in the middle of bum-f*ck-nowhere,NC until the shoot was over.

    And- I’m not trying to be catty (I’m eating Domino’s Cheesy Bread for breakfast, I have no room to talk) but is LL looking…thick to anyone? I mean,she’s by no means fat, but wasn’t she a rail like 2 weeks ago? Can Rasputins and coke cause THAT much bloat?

  41. mary jones says:

    Does anyone know how long she has to complete her community service? Doesn’t seem like she will ever get it done, not that anyone thought she would.

  42. ladybert62 says:

    who goes swimming with all their jewelry on? Isnt that salt water? She is one strange girl.

  43. SillyOne says:

    Bitch is BALD!! Her hairline is in the middle of her head. Yuck to all of it, just yuck!

  44. imabrat says:

    Haggard and used up. Just move on to porn and get it over with. Looking like Courtney Love.

  45. futureperfect says:

    She’s the embodiment of apathy, for me, and the sum total of everything wrong with celebrity culture. Notice you all haven’t been posting on the Kardashians. Can you disappear the Lohan too?

  46. Lady D says:

    Question: Forgive my ignorance but how does one comb or brush their hair when wearing extensions? Do you completely avoid brushing your scalp or do you yank your way through?
    Schnauzers!!! I have thought for a while that that is what they are waiting for indeed. Hell Mother Crackhead probably already has the story written. It will be a sickening sharkfest between her parents to get the most $tories out.
    Hey Lou, lol who knew seagulls had taste.
    the_blonde_one… You forgot her ‘she was never in the sea’ excuse.

  47. Crys says:

    girl is polluting the waters, god only knows what her cracked out dip in the water will do to sea life…

  48. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn & brin – *waves* What up, girls?

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t they ALREADY re-make Carrie? And it sucked.

    Linnocent Blohan cannot act her way out of a coke-encrusted paper bag filled with vodka bottles. (look how bad she is at “acting” innocent!) *snark*

  49. Masque says:

    Wow, and people thought the BP oil spill was damaging to the ocean. Suddenly BP doesn’t look so bad. ;p

  50. original kate says:

    how can someone look absolutely filthy while coming out of the ocean? i’ve seen tar balls washed up on the beach that look cleaner than this hot mess.

  51. anne says:

    she’s screwed with that upper lip again – or did she suck too much c **k trying to score some drugs?

  52. anne says:

    she’s screwed with that upper lip again – or did she suck too much c**k trying to score some drugs?

  53. jen says:

    Venus de Cracko

  54. 4Real says:

    GAWD she is fug! Who keeps lying to this crack hag?

  55. Cecizahn says:

    Release the Craken…no, it’s more like REALEASE THE CRACKHEAD!!!!!!!!

  56. SolitaryAngel says:

    Ok that’s it—the ocean is now too contaminated to swim in. Also, it kills me how dirty she always looks–even coming straight out of a body of water she still manages to look dirty/greasy.

    Also: Ewwwwww my eyes my eyes killitwithfire
    PS: screeeeeee? LMFAO thanks for the laugh!!!!!

  57. julie says:

    why is she wearing a scarf in Miami in the summer? what is she covering up?

  58. Katherine says:

    Actually the Kraken is from Norse mythology, not Greek mythology. The monster the Perseus fought in myth was called Cetus, also a sea monster.
    Sorry but I’m a mythology nerd and I couldn’t help myself *blushes* Also this is why I hated Clash of the Titans (aside from the fact that there was no clashing of any actual Titans) – feeding people misinformation.

    But I digress – oh Linnocent, you’re only a year older than me and yet you look so much older. I really liked her at the beginning. Now she needs to just grow up. But she’s pretty much a lost cause in my books. And how the hell is she not in prison?!?

  59. futureperfect says:

    The crucifix knuckle ring is a classy touch. If people start calling her Lilo Laylow do you think she’ll get the point?

  60. e.non says:

    she’s gonna be bald by the time she hits 30.

  61. krys says:

    omg with the extensions on her head….

  62. kasper says:

    This is how I know Lindsay is not long for the front pages: I used to actively loathe her, now I can’t be bothered to care.

  63. Kate says:

    GROSS…JUST GROSS…YUCK!

  64. Cloe says:

    Actually, if you read the entire article you would know that King was making fun of the Lohans, and he said he had no interest in remaking Carrie.

  65. skeptical says:

    i’m probably gonna get doomed to moderation purgatory forever but… i’m gonna try to post links to four pics that show lilo drinking something that looks like alcoholic mixed drink. she’s shown drinking, in two outfits no less, so possibly more than one drink.. and in one she’s holding the still-cold empty glass.

    http://www.radaronline.com/photos/image/129445/2011/05/lindsay-lohan-looking-upset-miami

    http://lindsaylohansource.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=109934&fullsize=1

    http://lindsaylohansource.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=109988&fullsize=1

    http://lindsaylohansource.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=109925&fullsize=1

  66. Annie_Grey says:

    And the top magically falls off.

  67. Jazz says:

    Jesus Christ she looks terrible. What the hell happened to the house arrest, is it over already?? If she loses that jewelry in the sea, she won’t care, she’ll just steal some more.

  68. therock says:

    Linnocent is right!!!! I think she looks great and I love the black striped shorts look!!!

    If she was partying in Miami all weekend why didn’t the paps catch any of this? I don’t believe this kind of evil gossip!!!

  69. Maddox says:

    Love the second one down, it makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it.

  70. There is obviously a lot to identify about this. I suppose you made some good points in features also. Could you update me with your next post please?