Our beloved Dame Gwyneth has deigned to appear in a magazine for peasanty home interiors. What I find hardest to believe is that Gwyneth’s smug, insipid face isn’t front and center on the cover – she only appears inside the magazine in a brief interview about those items she simply cannot live without. You can read the whole piece here, in the form of a slideshow to illustrate all of Gwyneth’s “must-haves”. Some of her picks aren’t too eye-rolly. She likes fresh, seasonal flowers “casually arranged” and she likes those star lanterns that I see in nearly every house in every design magazine. But Gwyneth always has to say something that brings on a groan – and this time, it’s where she keeps her bathtub:

Act, cook, write, sing: Gwyneth Paltrow famously loves to do it all. So it comes as no surprise to hear that she is also a serious design buff. Last year, she and her husband, rocker Chris Martin of the band Coldplay, combined two London townhouses with the help of his architect brother, Al Martin. They restored the period details and added such funky touches as a rumpus room for the couple’s two children and a skull-and-crossbones motif on the library’s mantel. Paltrow—whose lifestyle website GOOP will release iPad and iPhone apps this fall—may one day design her own furniture and tabletop collections. “That’s kind of the dream,” she says. “Maybe when the kids are older.” See some of Gwyneth’s favorites here and check out the September issue of ELLE DECOR, on newsstands August 16, for the rest.

1. De Gournay Hand-Painted Wallpaper
I indulged with one wall in my London living room covered in a gorgeous pattern.

2. Seasonal Flowers
I like single-variety arrangements—peonies, hydrangeas, and white lilies—casually arranged.

3. Darren Almond’s Photography
His arresting, large-scale artwork brings a sense of majesty to a room.

4. Charles Edwards Star Lanterns
I hung three of these at different levels in the stair hall so that we could pass them on our way up to bed at night.

5. Antonio Lupi Baia Tub
It’s in the middle of my bedroom—perfect for a relaxing wind-down and for bathing the kids.

6. Juxtaposed: Religion Shelf
Built-in slots hold holy books—including the Qur’an, Bible, and Tao Te Ching—all at the same level (which is how I like to think about religion).

7. Clothbound Penguin Classics
These gorgeous editions make the books so tempting to pick up, again and again. The ultimate cure for sore muscles.

8. YUBZ Retro Handset
A handset cuts down on cellphone radiation. I use this one for my BlackBerry calls.

[From Elle Décor]

A bathtub in the middle of her bedroom? All of us dumb peasants with our bathtubs in the bathroom. Dame Gwyneth thinks less of us. Also, “Built-in slots hold holy books—including the Qur’an, Bible, and Tao Te Ching—all at the same level (which is how I like to think about religion).” But I thought she was Jewish? Maybe she’s just talking about how she shows off her superficially religious diversity. Same with the clothbound books – like regular hardcovers and paperbacks are too peasanty for her.

Oh, and the retro handset thing is just cool:

Photos courtesy of Elle Décor & WENN.