I find it fascinating and sad when I hear stories of celebrity relatives who are getting by on public assistance or who are homeless. (Actually, I haven’t heard of any homeless celebrity relative except for Tobey Maguire’s grandfather, who used to live in his car but now gets social security and has a subsidized apartment.) I don’t think it’s the celebrity’s responsibility or that they should have necessarily done something to help, I just wonder how the person to that point. Did the celebrity offer to help at all, did they not know about it, or do they think their relative should figure it out themselves? Did multiple attempts to get them help fail? You might give the celebrity the benefit of the doubt, but in Madonna’s case I tend to think that she ignored it.
As part of a story on local services for the homeless, a Michigan newspaper did a brief interview with Madonna’s 55 year-old brother, Anthony Ciccone, who lives under a bridge, returns bottles to make a living, and has suffered frostbite on his feet. Anthony told The Michigan Messenger that his “family turned their back on me,” and that he’s been homeless for over a year.
Ciccone said he’s been among the city’s homeless for a year and a half since losing a job at his father’s vineyard and winery in Suttons Bay. He said that it annoys him that some people are amused that a person from such a high profile family would end up sleeping, as he does, under the Union St. bridge.
“My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” he said. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times — why my sister is a multibazillionarie, and I’m homeless on the street?”
“Never say never,” he said. “This could happen to anybody.”
“I don’t have any income, I’ve got to go collect bottles and cans, do odd jobs.”
Despite the uncommon community effort to help the homeless here, there are gaps, and Ciccone was among several locals who got cold-related injuries last winter.
“They can’t do everything all the time for everybody, they just don’t have the resources,” he said. “These people that run these things are all volunteers, they don’t get paid to do these things.”
In the cold seasons the church shelters usher people out at 8 am and city rules against camping and camp fires make staying warm difficult.
“Where do you go at 8 o’clock on a Sunday morning and you have no money in your pocket?”
If you spend enough time on frozen concrete without proper insulation you will get frostbite, he said. “You have no idea how gruesome it is.”
“You get nerve damage. That’s the milder stage, in the severe stage you have tissue damage, that is when you lose parts of your body.”
“I got frostbite on my feet last winter, Ciccone said. “A friend of mine lost all ten toes. Several have died of hypothermia.”
“You go and find a place to stay warm like the lobby at the jail, or you take a walk to get your feet warm and go to Meijer’s and sit in the lobby there.”
[From The Michigan Messenger via THR]
Anthony is one of Madonna’s seven siblings: she has three brothers, one half brother, two sisters and one half sister. Anthony is Madonna’s full brother, born to their mother before she died of breast cancer at just 30.
It’s probably not much of a leap to assume this guy has addiction problems which lead to him losing his job at the family winery. Madonna is worth $650 million, though. How much would it take for her to get her brother in rehab and to pay for a small home for him to stay in, even a minder to help keep him sober? He’s a grown man and of course he’s not her responsibility. She has more resources at her disposal than most of us could ever dream of, and she could make a few phone calls and ensure that her brother is safe and warm. That seems like the most reasonable and charitable thing to do, but Madonna has never been either.
The last we heard from one of Madonna’s siblings, another one of her brothers, Christopher Ciccone, published a tell all book about her called Life with My Sister Madonna. Christopher said that Madonna gave their then 97 year-old grandmother $500 a month and paid for her medical bills. Christopher said that wasn’t enough and that he wanted Madonna “to look after her. To get her a driver and a car.” Madonna’s grandmother passed away this March.
Madonna is shown in September at the Toronto film festival. Credit: WENN.com
Gross
I’ve never been a big fan of Madonna, but if you consider the fact that she’s been making money since oh..let’s say 1985/86 and the fact that he’s homeless now probably has little to do with her. It could be that she was there for him during the 80s, 90s, but just got fed up.
Spare me. By ’90 Madonna had already put a couple of brothers through rehab several times. He has a father who always seems like a wonderful man and he grew up with all his siblings. I imagine for 35 years not just Madonna but all of them have helped. A father and seven siblings don’t just turn your back. I’m sure Madonna has done a lot for him over 35 years. He’s a drug addict. He says his whole family turned their back on him. Come on, Celebitchy, don’t judge. There is way more to this story of what the family has been through for him. I had a friend whose parents had money. Her brother has put them through hell and
back. At 38 he paints a different story and ignores all they have done for him and plays the victim card all the way to anyone who will listen.
Mariah Carey’s sister is the worst I think. Pretty sure she’s homeless, but I know she sold her story to one of the tabloids akin to the Globe about how she’s a crack addicted prostitute with either AIDS or Hep
The brother thing is sad, but Madonna’s face is even sadder. She’s looking all kinds of desperate and stretched too tight. Her eyes have the “Mommy, Mommy, my pigtails are too tight” look about them.
regardless of what a sibling has done to you in the past, you should never just leave them hanging in such an awful and disturbing place. they’re your siblings…idk that’s just my opinion but whatever their situation, that family shouldn’t be letting him die…,
CB your take on this situation is very upsetting. Don’t like Madonna? Fine. But to place any resopnsibility on her for this man’s purposeful helplessness is downright cruel.
In addition to being disowned by his rather large family, this man has also managed to screw up the public assistance available to him.
We can speculate as to why, but the fact is that the man has not yet hit bottom. Until living the way that he does bothers him enough to get the help he needs, he will continue, no matter how many millions are thrown at him.
The part I’m concerned about is her minimal help to ger grandmother. It seems so callous. What was going on in that family? Even if her brother is an addict, people have to understand it is a disease. She should not give him money, but she can provide a place for him to live. She can easily afford having a security guard stay there if she is afraid of it becoming a drug den. Point is, you go above and beyond for family. There is hope for addicts.
Exactly, @Embee. It would be refreshing to see a gossip site be different from the generic ones and say there is more to the story than Madonna and his six other siblings and his father turned their back on him.
Madonna is a total narcissist, and most of her siblings aren’t speaking to her. Her other brother, Christopher, wrote a tell-all book where he talked about how Madonna treated him like an expendable servant, and cut all ties with him and left him with a huge bill because he called her out on some of her narcissistic behavior.
I also think Madonna’s track record says a lot about her. When she did the “Raising Malawi” School, she left it to a bunch of dopes to do the REAL work, while she went off and did her own thing. When it failed, instead of putting in personal effort to make it work, she abandoned the whole project. Of course, she’s never abandoned her career in the same way. When it’s NOT about her, she won’t put in the effort, in my opinion.
Now, this is all speculation as I don’t know them but I do know narcissists. One of my relatives is a former reality-star, and a total narcissist. After she made it, she cut family ties because, in her own words, she was “rich and famous,” and we were not “in her league” anymore. She only kept in contact with the relatives who were willing to bow down to her every whim and do anything for her. From my experience, total narcissists can only handle being around sycophants. Flesh-and-blood relatives know the real you, and they often don’t tolerate your crap.
As for this homeless brother, that’s just sad, if you ask me. If I was a gazillionaire and my brother was an addict, I would make sure that there was a house I owned where he can stay so he didn’t freeze to death in the winters or something. There’s no excuses, in my opinion, unless the guy is an insane criminal of some sort.
I usually really like to bitch about Madonna and her crazy face, but this time I want to giver her the benefit of the doubt. I’ve read somewhere else (I think it was on dlisted) that this guy used to work in the winery with their father, and was fired by him. What can a person do to get fired by his own father?
So Madonnas Grandmother died at 97? Good genes in that family rigth? That could mean there is a good chance Madonnas is going to be around another 40 years, 30 of them doing “music” and hitting the stage? What a prospect.
Siblings are one thing, but to give your grandmother 500 a month when you have so much money you don’t know what to do with it all? That’s a bit stingy and horrid.
I remember years ago reading how bad a tipper Madonna was. Restaurants, hotels. She is a tightwad when she wants to be, but say the word Kabbalah to her, and she goes to town.
Honestly, some celebrities are absurd.
We all don’t know what went down between these two and the rest of the family. But could you sleep a night if you know your drugaddicted brother is living under a bridge? Hell NO!
I would bend over backwards for my brother/fammily. She has a f*cking furtune and will never be able to spend it anyway. So why not help?
One more time she just proved she is a selfish, coldhearted b*tch!
When you watch shows like Intervention, you see that the family is told to stop enabling. Don’t provide money, don’t provide a place to live, don’t accept phone calls, etc. Make the addict hit rock bottom. Make them take responsibility.
Isn’t this the same site that constantly bemoans LL’s enablers? You can’t have it both ways.
..that 2nd photo looks like she’s being attacked by the famous ‘monkey paw’!!
as much as I dislike madonna I really don’t feel to judge here.We don’t know what the story is and what went on .The fact that you’re rich doesn’t mean you HAVE to give money to someone who’s you’re relative, is bullshit.
I can’t stand Madonna (though fishsticks paltrow has managed to up the ante on the who’s more pompous competition) but my guess is that it’s likely this brother may have a drug/alcohol problem and the entire family, including Madonna, has cut him off to stop enabling him.
@Poison Ivy I sincerely hope that you don’t have that experience, ever. I mean that without snark. No one could have convinced me that allowing a loved one to go homeless was the best thing for them until I went through it.
It is not fun or easy. It takes relatively few of your resources to feed the addict a meal, give him a place to stay, etc. But it doesn’t stop there. Addicts have an absolutely incredible ability to bring chaos. Think of it as the opposite of the Midas touch…everything they touch turns to shit. So you’ve set up the brother in a house with food and a car. He starts sneaking in friends with drugs, who begin dealing from the house you own, endangering you, legally. Or he leaves the stove on and burns the place down. The possibilities are endless. There is always an excuse, someone else to blame and a reason to give yet another chance. But until he takes actual steps to take responsibility for his choices (including using) there is no helping him. It’s trite but absolutely true. They destroy everything with which they come into contact.
I am dead serious you would not believe the absolute bedlam these people create. If it was as simple as giving them another chance this man would not be homeless. At the very least he would be working at a winery that was financed by his sister and run by his father. Helping doesn’t help. It’s so damned heartbreaking, too.
@kira & Auds: Just what I was thinking, only you guys said it better.
Madonna’s past behavior has demonstrated that her spirituality is fake and her Malawi charity was just for show. Giving her grandmother $500 a month to live on is stingy as hell.
When Christopher was working as an interior designer for his sister, she gave him approval to buy three paintings that were being auctioned at Sotheby’s. He paid $65,000 for them, using most of his own savings because Madonna would often withhold paying his salary. The understanding was that she would reimburse him, as she had done in the past.
Well, bitch changed her mind, didn’t want the paintings and refused to pay him back. He took the paintings back to Sotheby’s and had to re-auction them, per Sotheby’s rules. It took 6 months to resell the artwork, during which time he had to borrow money from friends because he couldn’t pay his rent. What kind of person, other than a selfish narcissist like Madonna, does that to their family?
Before you Madonna stans go apeshit and say her brother’s book is a pack of lies, remember this: Their father backed up his claims. That says a lot.
God, she’s pathetic. I can even imagine how heartless not to help…..at least try. If giving him a break gets squandered, then maybe stop helping. But try once bitch.
I am saddened by how little she did or her Grandmother! Would give my last dollar to see either one of mine…. And you could bet if I had Madge’s $$$ and my grandparents were alive, they would have to want for nothing!! They would come before my needs. That’s just sad.
I will give he the benefit of the doubt on the brother.. But she has the means to fund a drug rehab facility (doesn’t have to be huge), and let her brother know he can check in anytime..if rules are abided..but that’s just what I’d do.
Probably better to live under a bridge than live under her roof and be forced to put up with her bulls**t.
What does a 97 year old woman even need $500 a month for? She was probably either in a plush assisted living, or being taken care of at home by aides. I don’t fault Madonna for that, because I just don’t think her grandmother was spending much, or necessarily very mobile. Not buying that she needed a driver and car.
Regarding the brother, who knows what kind of crap he’s pulled? I can think of several addicts I know IRL who’ve done such grievous things, like robbing their grandmothers of $100K+, robbing other family members, etc. that I wouldn’t do a single thing for them if I were a billionaire.
@Embee your posts are right on the mark – you give a good perspective.
oh boo fricking hoo
@ S:
i dunno that longevity = good genes. All the women in my family live past 100 yrs, and I definetely do not want to be that way. It’s rather sad to watch them a decade after all their friends and spouses are have poassed.
Though it is a good trait for those whose great minds have contributed so much to humanity, i.e. Thomas Edison and the like. Steve Jobs also feels taken away before giving us all he had. Also, these are the kind of people to work to their last breath.
Thanks MBR. Giving up enabling was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have to speak up.
And this is why I could give two fucks about any causes that celebrities believe in. Some of these assholes can’t or won’t even take care of their own. There she has millions, and she’s depending on the state of Michigan to take care of her own brother.
So besides being used up, she’s worthless too.
The dad fired him from his vineyard last year. If even the father, who had to go through Madonna’s childhood and father bashing career (anyone “Oh Father”?) is turning his back on him their must be serious something wrong! Violence? Drugs? What do we really know? He’s older than Madonna so if he’s had help (be it financially or emotionally) and he keeps messing up and taking advantage of their good nature, then it’s got to stop. Madonna is heavily against drugs and won’t enable anybody. Don’t judge until you’ve been in the same position, it’s so difficult and heartbreaking to help somebody who doesn’t want to be helped and as long as they don’t realize that, then all the money and love in the world isn’t going to help.
That being sad, Madge is one hell of a cheap, selfish bitch. That’s not a secret. I’ve read Christopher book and although I still appreciate her personality and career you can’t deny that she’s f’ed up on some accounts (like the grandmother =( ).
Hmm, where to begin?
Let’s begin with Grandma. For those of you lacking reading comprehension – Madonna paid Grandma’s bills PLUS gave her $500 extra per month. It may not be the lap of luxury but that is a damn good living. Think about it. No one knows how much Grandma’s bills were or if it was a posh assisted living place or if it was a crack tenement she was living in. Somehow I doubt it was a tenement.
Christopher Ciccone – yeah, homeboy got taken advantage of by Madonna a few times over the years. Homeboy also sounds like he’s tried to take advantage of Madonna over the years too. Every thing he is – dancer, designer, artist, etc, is because of Madonna. So when homeboy starts bitching that he’s driving an Escalade with 50,000 miles on it or that he had to downgrade his apartment because Madonna isn’t hiring him anymore due to his DRUG PROBLEM, I have no sympathy for him. He wanted to make money from her, he did, he’s just sorry it wasn’t more. If he loved her for her and not her money, he’d be around money or not.
Anthony Ciccone – according to Christopher the dude was a terror to him and Madonna when they were kids. If he’s a drug addict, that is exactly why Madonna isn’t helping him. Christopher even said she cuts out anyone on drugs (and that’s after she paid for Christopher’s rehab). I cannot and will not blame her for that.
Just because someone has money, it does NOT mean they have to pay for everyone in their family. SHE earned it, let her enjoy it.
Think of how much better off Lindsay Lohan would be if she weren’t supporting her parasites of a family. Maybe she could have even been in Madonna’s league.
@Greeneyes, she paid for a plush assisted care facility for fer grandmother almost 100 years old, paid for all her medical care, put five hundred a month in her account, which she probably didn’t spend all that much of. So this cokehead brother to sell books calls her out for not giving her a chauffeur because he thought so. I believe Madonna can be cold at times and has done some shitty stuff but has done good. That was her mom’s mother. I have no doubt Madonna gave her a very comfortable life.
It must be tiring having people try to make money off you by selling stories. Get a job.
The rest of the article did say something about drugs and he did have a job at the winery but the father had to fire him.
I’m not a big Madonna fan, but I think he brought the problems on himself and is hoping to make some money off the story.
I bet she’s saying things like “whatever, it’s my money and i don’t want to share it with anyone!” lol because i’ve read her saying that a lot in the past. even simple things like her workout routine, she said it was all hers and she wouldn’t share. she’s a middle child in a large family so i’m guessing that could be why she’s all my, my, my because in larger families you are expected to share with your siblings. anyway she sucks
@Embee and @Dovesgate cosign!
Also, my friend’s dad used to work with Madonna’s brother on a radio show way back in the 90s. As I recall, he used to complain bitterly about Anthony. He basically said he was a useless addict who would walk around telling people “you can’t fire me! I’m Madonna’s brother!” (the 90s version of “move that cone! I’m Lindsay Lohan!”) all the time. If this guy was that insufferable to strangers, I can only imagine what a burden he must have been to his family. Zero sympathy from me!
[EDIT] If memory serves, this is also the same brother who stood Madonna up in Truth Or Dare. I’d have to check on this, but I believe she mentions having just put him through rehab in the film too.
Reading Dovesgate comment, I’m going to eat my words about the grandma!
Wait a minute! What about Madonna’s liberal politics/stance. She’s been taped at concerts saying how “we should all love one another,” and preaching “acceptance.” I think anyone can take a cue/clue as to this woman..anyone remember the “Hydrangea Episode?” I dunno…I’ve seen this woman spew enough venom and have seen her show her fangs too much.
I’m certain her bro Anthony is quite the challenge…as @Embee pointed out. However, her actions now are contrary to WHAT SHE PREACHES.
She has so much $$$ she’ll never spend in her own lifetime. She could at the VERY LEAST ensure he doesn’t have to sleep under bridges and lose digits and appendages, for God’s sake!
As blogger #10 (can’t read your name, hon)so eloquently pointed out..her track record speaks for itself.
She’s a twisted, cruel woman, for sure. She only tolerates sycophants. Lookit…it’s even been pointed out she doesn’t even hang w/many celebs because she won’t be the center piece w/other well-known types around her…and I do believe that.
She’s only benevolent to sycophants and hanger’s on…look at her BOYTOYS..another disgusting example.
Edit: Yes, at DetRiotgirl..I also remember her mentioning him in the Truth or Dare film. Actually, she made a MOCKERY of her own mother by going graveside & filming that crap that Christopher said he’d have nothing to do with. Actually, I applaud Christopher for not participating in that charade…again, it was all for the cameras. This just bolsters my opinion that unless you’re kissing her ASS, it ain’t gonna happen for ya.
@DetRiotGirl, Marty was the other addict brother and she put him thru rehab several times also. He was the one on Truth and Dare.
@Embee you said it very well. You really don’t know what it is to withhold help from someone you love until you have to do it. And hopefully others responding here will never have to. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Madonna’s brother is publicly demeaning her and we don’t truly know what lengths she has gone to for him. There’s lots more to this story, no doubt.
@Jayna thanks, I stand corrected. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the movie. Wow, I didn’t realize she had two siblings who are addicts.
@DetRiotGirl, when you think about it three: Anthony, Martin, Christopher. You never hear about Marty. I guess he doesn’t sell out his sister. I know Madonna said in an interview in ’99 that she spends holidays with her family and that to say her family was colorful was an understatement. She said she was close to all her sisters, especially two and that she really looked up to one sister and turned to her for advice even though Madonna is older.
This reminds me of Lamar Odum’s situation; his father is a drug addict. He supports him financially for his house and bills, as well as extra cash. He always goes to Lamar when he runs out, saying it’s not enough. For a user, there is never enough money. It must be hard to say no in a lot of ways, but the person needs real help. On their show (Khloe and Lamar – dont judge me lol), they explain they still pay for the house, but that’s it. And no more direct contact bc the man just wont get clean. All that to say, you never know what’s going on.
I’ve obviously gotten confused as to the brothers…but am sure about Christopher. I read his book, & am certain of his comments about his mother & the graveside incident/filming.
I totally understand those w/regards to the tough love stance, as I’m a result of such. My Mom was a much sought-after speaker in the Tough Love circuit because of her experience w/me and my demons of alcohol/drugs…which are my PAST. It’s one thing to NOT ENABLE…quite another to let one kill themselves. Remember…Madonna defected from Catholicism, but her family didn’t. There is a fine line, but to continue to let the brother sleep outdoors up north in that climate…is brutal.
Wow, I hope Madonna enjoys all that 650 million dollars she takes with her, in her after-life. Oh wait. You can’t take that with you…watch, when she dies, the bulk of her estate will go to Kabballah..or however you spell it, and the kids get a small pittance of inheritance. Her extended family of brothers/sisters will each get something like a dollar, so they can’t contest the will. She’s a bitch like that.
Not saying that this is what is happening in this situation, but sometimes when one sibling makes a lot of money their family and other siblings feel they should pay for everything. Think about it, if you were the only one paying for your siblings rehab, giving them jobs, paying all of grandma’s bills, wouldn’t you get tired of it?
You can help your family, but it doesn’t make you responsible for them just because you are rich. This man has 5 more siblings beside Madonna. They can’t help him…at all?
He probably gave her hydrangea’s and bitch cut him off 😉
As for her Grandmother. It says she paid for her medical bills (not ALL her bills) plus $500 a month. It doesn’t say if she was paying for her housing/food etc. If she wasn’t, damn. That was cheap and cold hearted!
Madonna is a ruthless businesswoman. I cannot understand all her disparaging behavior towards her family. Mybe her bro is a neverending addict, and for her own sanity,had to ignore him. As for her Nana..she dseerves better. I would put my Nana in a Castle if I had the financial means.(Deceased, as is M”s Nana) Madonna will buy 20 year old boy toys, but Nana is neglected. Disgusting. I will not play her music in my car anymore..I am done with Madonna.
Celebitchy,
I really respect your website and think you guys
and d-listed are the best in gossip without being mean or scandalous. I know you don’t like Madonna and you take your work seriously but this entry was kinda mean and misinformed. You usually are so reasonable, girl! I really admire your blog.
That being said… I have to stand up for Madge here. First, Madonna always helped her family but she doesen’t go on shouting from the rooftops. Second, sometimes even billions of dollars aren’t enough to put someone back on track. Instead of critize Madonna maybe you should’ve wrote something that showed how addiction is devastating and even someone rich as Madonna can’t help her brother if he doesn’t want to be helped. (Thanx, Embee for sharing your story.)
This was a cheap shot. Madonna the material cold girl being a material cold bitch. Wow!
I don’t know, this post was not OK that’s all…
I think this is sad. These mega-rich celebs should help their families in trouble. I’m not saying they should give them money, but they could at least buy them a small house or pay the rent on a small apartment every month and perhaps give them a food allowance. I would never let my family live like that, especially if I had the means to help them.
I have zero respect for Madonna who has shown herself to be a nasty beeotch in the last few years BUT if you’ve ever had a sibling with a drug problem you’d know this isn’t her fault. I’ve heard she’s paid for rehab several times but he keeps relapsing. I’m pretty sure she’s even talked about it publicly. He needs to get himself clean and get a job or STFU.
There was a family that I grew up with and they were very very wealthy. There were 4 kids. The first son was a holy terror, he was an awful kid and an insufferable ass as an adult. He constantly threw the “do you know who my father is” line around. He ended up on the street because his family had to cut him off due to his drug issuses. He simply would not help himself and was horrible to everyone involved. I cannot judge this situation. Regarding Madonna’s Grandmother, she took care of her. My grandmother died earlier this year at 98, she was in assisted living. It was 5500 a month, which pretty much covered everything she needed. In fact, she asked us (her grandchilren) not to buy her anything other than flowers and chocolates, because that’s all she wanted. My Mom and her siblings paid for everything and my Granma had her Social Security to spend as she wanted. which for the last 3-4 years of her life she never spent anything because she didn;t have to. Everything was paid for. This again I feel is not to be judged. We know nothing about this. As far as Christopher goes, Madonna gave him a very successful career. So you had a falling out, get over it you whiny bitch. Talk about ungrateful.
I don’t blame Madonna at all for someone else’s life. I have a LOSER brother-in-law that I’ve mentioned numerous times, but god, he is a LOSER totally enabled by his ‘mommy’.
So I have ZERO sympathy when I hear someone expect that just because a person is related to you, that they should support you for life.
Makes me sick.
Isn’t this the same brother who has been in and out of rehab which she has paid for? I can’t be mad at her for that if it is. You can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves….no matter how much money you have!!
An addict has to want help, no matter how much money or outside help and even LOVE is thrown at them. That is the bottom line. Otherwise all efforts come to nought. Madonna has probably done all she can. I find it difficult to condemn her for what is clearly a complicated family situation we know nothing about.
If I were in this situation I would buy a tiny house for him, supply it with minimal provisions, nail everything to the floor, put in a weekly grocery order to be delivered to the house, pay for health care. Then say, “There it is. You have no excuses for not making something of yourself.” I can understand stress and strains within a family and wanting a family member to “learn a lesson,” but homelessness makes a person 3-4 times as likely to die and if you have the means to reduce the chance of a family member’s death it’s worth it to me. No matter how screwed up they are, family is family.
If you condemn her, you have to condemn her father who is a nice Midwest man who lives very well because of his daughter and has dollars and a room to spare or you have to condem his five other siblings. Giving someone a few dollars or a room to sleep in doesn’t take wealth. He said his FAMILY abandoned him. Oh, so they are all cruel? Not. There is way more to this story regarding him.
Ron, you are right. Chris is a whiny bitch — or in this case a coke-addicted whiny aging Queen who sold his sister out for dollars instead of getting a job after their fallout. What does he have now? He destroyed any chance of a relationship ever again that they could have mended if he had gotten clean.
…because the only reason someone winds up homeless is addiction. If you just work hard and do what’s right, you will be successful… Have you looked outside your window recently? Homelessness can happen to anybody.
Miss Thang and others who would do “something” for the addict,
I understand why you fel that way – I do. It just doesn’t work. Everytime a another person takes responsibility for an addict’s life, the addict actually becomes more motivated to use. The addiction–in addition to being a chemical dependency–is also a coping mechanism for the lack of control that the addict has over his emotions. By removing ever more control from the addict (giving him stuff like a house, but nailing down the furniture, deciding what he eats) you are aggravating his sense of a loss of control, driving him to use. It’s a different framework entirely. It’s absolutely awful.
I’m not trying to call anyone out or have an argument but until you’ve dealt with this stuff you think the normal rules (lend a helping hand; turn the other cheek) apply, but they truly don’t, until the addict decides to get help.
For example, I allowed my ex-husband (whose brother and mother kicked him out within 12 weeks of our divorce) to crash on my couch while he looked for a job. I locked all the file cabinets, the computer and removed any money and valuables from the house. I also removed all liquor.
One day I noticed that the “skirt” on my daughter’s piggy bank (where I throw spare change, as part of saving for her college) was askew. It turns out he was stealing from his daughter, walking 3 miles into town, buying beer and walking back. That’s how he was spending his days “looking for work.” This is but one example of literally hundreds.
I go to Al-Anon and let me tell you there is NOTHING unique about this story. Or Madonna’s. This is the pattern with addicts. And the only thing that saves them is allowing them to hit bottom. Madonna’ brother isn’t there yet.
“even a minder to help keep him sober?” What a foolish statement. I normally enjoy and respect your comments Kaiser, but when it comes to addiction, you clearly do not know what you are talking about.
I don’t think it’s fair to hang Madonna if we don’t know the full situation. Maybe he wronged her, maybe he’s an addict who needs to hit rock bottom or maybe she is a cold hearted bitch. Who knows. But I think it’s unfair to automatically assume that Madonna doesn’t care and has not done anything to help.
I have a crackhead Uncle who everyone, including his nieces and nephews, have done everything to help him in the past. He was so beautiful. I mean he looked just like MJ during the off the wall years except lighter, and he was such a talented artist. But he keeps relapsing and I’m sorry but I don’t care how much money I have, I am not going to keep enabling you. If the Union Bridge is where you wanana be and obviously you do or you would get your shit together, then I love it. That is if he the brother is a crackhead. If not, well, then I don’t know what to say. If he worked hard and then got laid off or something bad happen where he can’t work, I could understand her being called out for her “cold behavior”.
Meanwhile that grandmother thing is skivvy though if it’s true. I mean 500 a month? WTF Madonna. You’re making orphanages and adopting kids but you can’t let your grand mother have a bit of luxury in her final days? DAmn.
Isn’t Josh Brolin’s brother & Mariah Carey’s sister homeless too?
I think Brolin’s case was cuz of severe depression & his mother’s trust $ running out. Mariah’s sister said it was due to having to help support her family early on by prostituting & such things leading to drug addiction.
*****
If these celebs don’t want to DIRECTLY give money to their siblings (who may or may not have mental issues), then they could offer help in other ways, such as:
1- Pay rent for a furnished apt.
2- Have groceries & other basic needs delivered to them weekly.
3- Pay for healthcare insurance & medical bills for treatments
4- Pay for monthly passes for public transportation
These are ways to make sure your family members aren’t living on the streets getting frostbite, scrounging in the trash for food, & going without healthcare.
It is not like she can’t spare a few thousand to get the man going again, but with that said, I do not think just because she has loads of money that she should bail out every sibling (or family member) that comes into financial trouble. He obviously made some bad choices. Go work at McDonalds! Look for a shelter, get on a waiting list, get unemployment if able, do something….just don’t make a rich sibling responsible when you find yourself in a fix. It isn’t their problem and who’s to say he won’t do it again or hasn’t done it before and she helped.
I don’t doubt that she’s stingy and not close with her siblings, but they’re all adults and responsible for themselves. I too think there’s more to this story, and it’s possible she was helping him but stopped at the point that it was just enabling him, nothing more. I can’t imagine that’s an easy choice to make.
Listen to Embee. The truth speaks. Anybody who is an addict and lives on the street put themselves there on their own. Anybody enabling that person is not helping them. Look at Lohan. He has not hit hit bottom yet, despite the frostbite, which is the real issue I see here.
Addicts don’t need the help of others unless they are willing to do the “work” of getting clean and sober. They will also say anything to get their next fix, even steal from their family. I’m sure Madonna would help him if she truly believed that “this time will be different”. I think she’s wise to not bail him out over and over…that would make her an enabler.
He was just on an Entertainment show. So poor no more. It looks like he is going to be interviewed on the one after that too. He said his father considers him lazy and an alcoholic. He seemed very shifty. His father’s spokesperson from the winery said the family has tried to help him for The last 15 years and that he is where he is in life because he wants to be and there’s nothing they can do about it. Madonna’s rep said she has no comment.
I disagree with another poster who said that Madonna should not “bail out every sibling (or family member) that comes into financial trouble.” Uh, yes, she should help out. That’s her family. Families should help each other out. They’re not strangers to you. If families won’t help each other out, then what’s the point of having a family? Just for fun? Just as ‘fair weather’ friends?
The reality of life is that people will get into financial trouble, especially in these times.
So the point of a family is that if one member has got his/hers, then tough luck for the rest of the family?
We all might as be test tube babies if this is what ‘family’ means nowadays.
He asks ‘where do you go at 8am on a sunday morning when you have no money?” Hey dude, how about an AA/NA meeting, how about church?
Lots of possibilities if you actually want to help yourself, but there’s never enough help if you don’t really want it and just think somebody should babysit you. Not a Madonna fan but having had a brother who needed to reach bottom before he could be helped, I’m certainly not going to condemn her. Those who do have never been in a similar situation or you’d know better.
I wrote this, not Kaiser. Yes, I’m extremely lucky to not have an addict like this in my family and while I understand that there may be nothing you can do to help someone like that, it is hard for me to grasp because I haven’t gone through it, thankfully, with anyone I love. But I really appreciate what you are saying about not being able to help people who can’t be helped. This is my perspective, having never been in this situation with a relative and I get what you mean about how you don’t know what you’d do for them, or what you wouldn’t do, unless you’ve been there.
I hate when celebrities siblings demand through the press: “I am a brother/sister of rich celebrity so it must feed me, buy me a car, give me money every week. And I will just sit back, do drugs and drink and do nothing. Or I will go to press and cry that I am homeless and poor and don’t have what to eat and that cruel celebrity have so much money…”.
WHY should celebrity give you money? Celebrity works it’s ass off to earn that money. They were working for years to be rich. And now they have to support drug addicts and give them money for drugs?
And keep in mind that probably in 100% all those poor siblings of celebrities who cry in press that they are homeless are drug addicts or alcoholics. That’s why they are on the streets. And there are always different relationships in every family. Some brothers/sisters are close. Some are not and are completely strangers to each other.
#59 Embee:
I agree with you absolutely. If this guy is an addict, his choices brought him to where he is. Further, his choices keep him where he is.
If we were talking about a sibling who had run into hard times and needed a leg up, I would vilify Madonna for not helping. That is obviously not the situation.
People have to realize that addicts and others hold YOUR concern about THEIR welfare over you head. They want you to be afraid NOT to help/enable them so that they can keep on with their self destructive behavior. It takes a great deal of courage but more just plain weariness (after they’ve taken all that you have to give) to just turn their lives over to them.
Embee, I hope you ex got himself straight.
Actually, my father was a drug addict. But we didn’t kick him out into the streets so that he could be homeless living under a bridge, get frostbite, get his food from the trash, & be without medical help.
Instead, we kept him at home, with a roof over his head, food in his belly, & help to get whatever medical treatments he needed.
It’s all very “Lifetime” movie-time to say, well tough love means kick him out & let him die. All very easy to say, isn’t it.
But that’s not a real solution, is it. There are things that can be done without resulting in death or coming to a point-of-no-return.
Homelessness is not the solution. It’s even more difficult to come out of that kind of situation & get back to normal life once you get to that point. Allowing people to starve to death is not the solution either. Nor is having them die from the freezing cold.
There is a REAL point-of-no-return. You have to make sure your family member doesn’t reach that point. Life is not a fictional tv movie or novel. Dumping family members onto the street is Dicksonion, something which we should have gotten rid of a 100 yrs ago.
Is that a jaw implant, mum?
Reason why I wouldn’t give an addict a place to live and the bare necessities: They might still get drugs, and end up doing things like having druggies over, endangering themselves or innocent neighbors and potentially getting ME – the hypothetical homeowner – in trouble with the law, if they have parties and someone gets hurt or killed.
I swear, the amount of damage a junkie can wreak on a family is STAGGERING. I blame no family for keeping their bottom lines. My cousin wasted my aunt’s hard-earned life-savings on his idiot stepson, for one thing; he’s now in prison for carjacking someone. Think he deserved to be cut off? I know it doesn’t seem like it could get that bad when you haven’t lived it; believe me, it can and does.
Bottom lines help addicts help themselves, if they choose. No need to continue one’s own suffering.
1- Pay rent for a furnished apt.
2- Have groceries & other basic needs delivered to them weekly.
3- Pay for healthcare insurance & medical bills for treatments
4- Pay for monthly passes for public transportation
___________________________________
And this is what an addict with do.
1. Sell his furniture
2. Sell his groceries
3. Will keep using and end up making home at a meth clinic
4. Will sell his transpass
I wish people would stop running family is everything so do everything you can for them even when you don’t deserve it.
You know know where that got me? A cousin who cleaned 16,000 out of my bank account over night after I took care of her children and her and having to spend a few month in a homeless shelter with my children since I had been laid off, she cleaned out my savings, and rent money, and my husband had died the year before.
Blood means nothings unless it means something to EVERYONE involved.
Madge’s brother is not the first addict to say, “She hoards her wealth and look at poor me!” Sometimes you accept your role as the bad guy.
I know several addicts who absolutely chose homelessness, and not indirectly either. I know an alcoholic who would have been welcomed by any of siblings (with no questions asked), but he gets soooo much more mileage out of guilt-tripping them with “the year I had to live under a tree because no one cared!”
With the drug addict in my own life, his parents accept him being high, not working (no one expects him to contribute), stealing from them, stealing from their neighbors, etc. They have asked him not to involve them, e.g. don’t stash stolen goods or evidence in places that they own. He can’t stick to that one rule and federal marshals have been at his parents’ front door more than once (without being too specific, it relates to banks, which are under federal jurisdiction). As his sister says, “They could lose their land!” Yet his parents would STILL take him in, but currently he prefers to stay out.
There might be more to the story, that’s all.
Also, chicken cutlets in your face are always a bad idea, so just say no.
Add me to the list of Madonna defenders on this particular issue. A while back there was a thread about Mariah’s sister (maybe it was on this site?) And something a commenter said really stuck with me. It was something like, “When it comes to helping an addict, $20 is too much money and a million isn’t enough.” (Meaning, there isn’t enough money to help an addict who isn’t ready for help, and any amount of cash will just be converted into drugs/drink.)
Madonna has donated to charities for years. She’s not *that* greedy. She knows she can never spend all the $ she has. But if she gives it to her addict brother, it will be used for harm, not good. She’s tired of enabling him. I don’t blame her one damn bit.
@ann_000:
“you have to make sure your family member doesn’t reach that point?”
Cannot even express how much I disagree with that statement. Again, oh poor so and so can’t be expected to be responsible for anything. It’s up to US to take care of them. WTF?
NO. A person has to want to help themself and actually do work. Make sure your family member doesn’t get to that point. Omfg. That is rich.
@anne_000
I agree with you. There are ways to help addicts/mentally ill people without enabling.
I read Celebitchy’s post and was ready to put my 2 cents in here, about how you help family no matter what, and “How much money does one person need/why not be generous?” etc. But after reading the existing comments, I got to thinking… No, we don’t know the history between Madonna and this brother, whether she has already helped him in any way. We also don’t know much about him other than this recent soundbyte.
My first reaction was that if I had Madonna money, I’d do whatever I could to help my immediate family. But then I thought about someone I might try to help being completely ungrateful and entitled and making no changes in his/her life…Well, that would make me want to dish out the “tough love” too.
I do not particularly like Madonna, but I’m going to defend her on this one. I think the brother is playing the victim to the maximum. I would say Madonna has bailed him out time and time again, and has now just left him to it. He needs to get his crap together, get sober and start looking for a proper way to make an income. Taking responsibility for the life of an addict just enables them to continue with their behaviour, and does not really help them at all. I do not blame Madonna for not giving him any more help.
Traverse City has a Meijers?
@anne__000. I agree w/you. I had a relative in the same situation, and we made it work. I think you can pay for rent, have the apartment supervised and have food delivered, if you have the means. It’s not impossible, and some people do straighten out. It can happen. I think some people just give up after getting burned one too many times. While I understand addicts are frustrating, I don’t think letting them go homeless for so long (her brother has been homeless for 18 months) is the answer. He could have died out in the cold. It’s Michigan not California, we’re talking about here. Just seems heartless to me, esp. if you have the money to make it work. I understand the people who don’t have the means to take care of themselves, their kids/family, and an addict, but Madonna has 650 million dollars! That’s an incredible amount of cash.
And, this is assuming that Madonna actually tried to care for him at all. Most of her family is not speaking to her. According to her brother, Christopher, she only invited 2 siblings to her wedding with Guy Ritchie, calling the rest “insane,” and she treated Christopher like dirt during the entire ceremony, so now, he’s no longer speaking to her. That makes maybe 1 sibling speaking to her? I guess they’re all bad, right? Or, maybe, it’s the hydrangea-hater herself who is an asshat? Madonna’s long line of burning, using, and trashing people is legendary at this point. She’s not known as being a nice person.
If I ever get married, I wouldn’t invite 3 of my siblings. 2 are known drug users and 1 is certifiably insane. (I would elope to avoid all the hassle.) I’m not worth $650 million, but no one should feel obligated to invite family to their wedding. Blood is thicker than water? Not quite. Madonna’s had it with her idiot brother. We’ve all got that idiot brother, ya know? It’s a universal concept. Hell, wasn’t that the name of a recent movie? Lol
Of *course* Madonna can afford to help her brother. That’s not the point. Anyone who thinks she’s being cheap/greedy has never had to deal with a friend or family member who’s an addict. The point is that giving him $ hasn’t helped him. It’s only hurt him. So why should she continue doing it?
She has an insane amount of money. The only reason she doesn’t help is that she allows anger to direct her decisions. There is no justification for not getting him a place and allowing an accountant to pay his bills and delve out money to him on a weekly or monthly bases. It’s a cheap shot to use drug addition as an excuse when she thrives in an industry of drugs and alcohol and has no problem hanging with all of them. They just hide their demons better. My honest opinion is that when you are blessed with the amounts of money she has been blessed with you have an obligation to spread it around and first and foremost take care of all your blood without any concern as to what you will get out of it. If you get to that point where you also have to dictate to everyone how they should behave in order to get some of your money that you will never spend in multiple life times then you are nothing but a control freak where you see yourself as almighty God. And thats another thing. If by chance there is a God and a day of judgement I’d hate to be called on the floor and asked why I didn’t continue to take care of my own blood and even dared to give some excuse. If he’s an addict then he has mental issues. If she’s so put together then she should realize this and have some compassion that he can’t make rational decisions. BUT she can give him the basics for life to make sure he isn’t one of the forgotten slumbering around day and night with no home or food of his own. Perhaps this is her test to see if she has a heart of if she’s a cold hearted selfish self absorbed evil troll who only thinks of herself. If she is for all the money she has now she probably will be wiping azz in hell. And what makes this worse is how she has made her money. She sold herself as a writhing ho and wouldn’t know true 14 hour a day hard back breaking work if it hit her. She conneted with the fame machine and created a persona that was nothing more then a cash cow. She’s been blessed I suppose if that is what she lusted after but the amounts of money for what she does are ridiculous. Making an excuse to hide bitterness she has over a sibling is just as ridiculous. Make sure he has a home of his own and his bills are paid and he has his own food. If not the price she will pay eternally may be very costly.
@Kira. Most of her family isn’t speaking to her? LOL. She has said she’s close to her family and spends holidays with them. She doesn’t speak to Chris because after she fired him because he wouldn’t get clean off cocaine he wrote a tell-book since his money train came to an end. This Anthony guy has seven brothers and sisters and a father. He says the WHOLE family turned their back on him. The father released a statement they have tried to help him for 15 years. So where you get Madonna isn’t friendly with the other five siblings show us. She says her sister is
her best friend. her dad has always come across as the salt of the earth in interviews. I highly doubt he would not help his son or give him a bedroom to
sleep in because he’s mean nor I doubt are all his siblings mean. There’s more to the story.
Victoria, I’m going to frame this quote and hang it on my wall. After a while, you get tired of the same assholes playing the “but I’m your brother/sister!” card. They certainly never remember that I’m THEIR sister when they are screwing me over.
“Blood means nothings unless it means something to EVERYONE involved.”
My parents temporarily hit hard times a few years ago, and being in a position to help, my brothers and I stepped in and paid bills. My parents grudgingly accepted our help with the bills, but steadfastly refused to take more than £100 per week of “spending” money. We were more than happy to give them more, but they wouldn’t accept it.
Maybe Madonna’s grandmother specifically asked that her monthly allowance was no greater than $500 a month. None of you know the facts here. So stop assuming that this “low” allowance was due to Madonna’s stinginess.
He writes a tell-all book on his sister and then expects to be taken care of. I’m sorry, but sometimes you can cut a person too deeply to be forgiven.
@Jayna. Says who? I never heard anything like that. I wouldn’t believe anything out of her mouth either. She only invited 2 siblings to her wedding, and treated 1 like total crap. All the things Christopher wrote about in his book were confirmed by their father. And his book came off as true. No one, including Madonna, ever denied his story. In his book, she called most of her family members “insane.” Meanwhile, Christopher wrote how she enjoyed controlling and demeaning people who were her friends, family or companions. That’s not a stretch, considering she once cattily commented that Guy Ritchie’s movie was about his huge “ego,” while standing right next to him on the red carpet as he was trying to promote it. Poor Guy look mortified at her kooky behavior. She’s a difficult person and she’s burned, trashed or used many people in her life including Jellybean Benitz, her back-up singers who sued her for unpaid wages, Sandra Bernhard, Carrie Anne Inaba, Kylie Minogue, Cher, Mariah Carrey, Carlos Leon, the guy who gave her hydrangeas, Gwyneth, you name it. I think that’s plenty of evidence to support that Madonna is a difficult person…
she should have arranged for a public trustee to take care of her brother, she could hire any lawyer to help the situation. She could have just paid for his rent from her pocket change.
Embee’s got it right. I work with the homeless population, and although there are many MANY ways people can become homeless (we have people in our program with PhD’s, full-time jobs, paid in full Lexuses that they are living in… it really can happen to anyone), addiction is the number one reason people are on the streets. Families always try to help in the beginning by giving the addict food and a place to stay, but you can’t help the person, you are only helping the addiction.
Your home or the studio apartment the family provides often becomes a drug den or even a type of brothel. Food is given away in exchange for drugs. Meth labs are created, making the entire building inhabitable, making neighbors homeless… and the one who signed the contract or owns the home is on the hook.
Addicts have been known to destroy the property of those helping them, as well. For example, we had a client who was staying with her sister. When the family left for ONE WEEK to attend a funeral out of state, the client had already started a meth lab in the garage and allowed people to have sex in her sister’s bed. They had to condemn the home they owned for a decade. This isn’t the only case like this we’ve heard of, though it itsn’t common.
We work with addicts, but they need to be enrolled in a sobriety program and have undergone rehab. Their counselors always advise us to never loan money or give extra meal tickets because this is detrimental to their rehabilitation. Women still struggle with their addictions and it can be tough -sadly, we’ve had to kick people out of the program so that we can continue to receive funding and help others- but the ones that truly want to get back on their feet always do. It’s wonderful to see them reconnect with their families and take pride in themselves again. Many volunteer in the program to give back to new clients… but this only happens AFTER they hit rock-bottom, take responsibility for their addiction and stop blaming others.
The Ciccone’s are doing the right thing. After you’ve paid for rehab, multiple times, there’s really not much more you can, or SOULD, do. There are many programs and overnight shelters Anthony can get into if he wanted to get off the streets, but he obvoiously wants to use drugs more than he wants to keep his toes. Yes, addiction is a disease, but it must primarily be treated by the addict.
@kira(#91): Preach, girlfriend! You tell her.
@Jayna(#87): Oh really? Paula is the favorite sister Madonna did not invite to her wedding to Guy Ritchie. When Paula told her she wanted to attend, Madonna said okay but refused to play for her plane ticket to Scotland. Paula earned a modest living as a graphic artist. But Madonna did pay for her own maid’s plane ticket. WTF, what a cheapskate!
At the festivities, when Guy’s friends made homophobic jokes in front of Christopher, Madonna did not come to her brother’s defense, even though he was the closest to her out of all her brothers. Yeah, that’s Madonna for you, taking care of her family.
edit #94: Madonna refused to pay for Paula’s plane ticket.
@Jamey(#90): Umm, read more carefully. Anthony is the brother who is homeless. Christopher is the brother who wrote the tell-all book.
Madge’s hairstyle is disgusting.
@Minty. That’s very interesting–I didn’t know that. I remember reading her brother’s book–he also talked about the wedding. He said she invited him, but balked at paying his ticket + room. He wasn’t making that much money, and had to scrounge around for the ticket. She then put him in a small room, which was used for the maids, I think? He was ok with that until he talked with Gwyneth and realized, Madonna had put her up in a huge suite. At that point, he became sad when he realized that he didn’t mean that much to his sister.
I think his book is really interesting–it shows what narcissists are like. This personality type interests me (like I said, I have a reality-show family member who is one), and that’s why Madonna is intriguing. I wonder how people like her justify this type of behavior to themselves? It’s odd, really.
An intervention with the entire family present, including Madonna, and a one-way ticket into a long-term rehab facility would be the humane thing to do. Throwing money at an addict only prolongs their addiction. Putting them into a controlled environment where they face their demons and learn to control them under medical supervision is the only way. Why she hasn’t done this is a mark of her chronic self-absorption. But she’s a cruel, hypocritical woman who thinks her affiliation with Kaballah gives her some kind of moral immunity when, in fact, she falls far short of the “do unto others” doctrine that spiritually moral people follow.
Hi kira! I got both stories from Christopher’s book. Would you be willing to name the reality show your family member appeared in? I have some relatives who are self-absorbed narcissists, though they are not in my immediate family, thankfully. Many celebrities seem truly narcissistic. But then, as you mentioned, they are catered to by sycophants and live in a bubble of conceit that keeps them from being grounded.
Sometimes I wonder if Madonna is also a sociopath. I certainly don’t know her and cannot say whether she’s evil or just unevolved. Not all narcissists are sociopaths, but sociopaths are all narcissists. Psychiatrists say sociopaths (and psychopaths) have absolutely no conscience. That’s why they are able to do the most horrible things and sleep well at night. That’s why they can commit monstrous crimes over and over. They are aware of the difference between right and wrong. They just don’t care. That’s the mindset of a serial killer.
Their justification for their behavior is their belief that they are above everyone; they are special and above the law. They don’t believe in a higher power (though some pretend to). They are their own God. Definitely not people you make a part of your life, once they show their true colors.