Damn, Gwyneth Paltrow looks like hell here, doesn’t she? These are photos of Goop from last night’s Bambi Awards in Germany. Goop wore this Elie Saab dress which… doesn’t suit her. Go here to see the runway look – it’s actually beautiful on the runway. On Goop, though, it falls flat. Operative word: flat. What’s going on in the chest area? Couldn’t Goop get some tailoring so she wouldn’t look so… low? Beyond the dress and how the shade of green looks kind of cheap on her, her face looks busted too. And her FLAT IRONED HAIR. Dear God, it’s like we’re still back in the 1990s. Why must Goop do this to all of the time? Someone (Chris Martin) needs to take away her flat iron and burn that mofo.
In case you’re wondering about Goop’s necklace – it’s Annoushka. Fug.
Goop also presented an award to Justin Bieber, it seems. Do you think little Apple is a Bieliber? Anyway, she got to stand there with Justin and some chick!!!!! OMG. That should totally go in the next Goop newsletter.
Speaking of this week’s Goop-letter, Gwyneth talks about holiday gift-giving and some of her suggestions are… dare I say it… interesting. You can read the full Goop here – she makes lots of jewelry gift suggestions, and she seems to be putting in an effort to suggest some reasonably priced pieces. I LOVE the fingerprint earrings. I also love the pale-pink hardback Jane Austen collection. Gah! This week’s Goop is good, and a lot of the companies are offering discounts if you say you heard of them from Goop. Smart and well-thought out. I hate when that happens!
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Gah…Goopy GREEN!!!
looks bad with the hair and tan. dress is nice though.
How is straight hair 1990s? What does that even mean? Straight hair is sexier than curly hair, there was even a study which proved it, that men are more attracted to a woman with straight hair.
The chest area looks good. We’re too used to everything being pushed into our faces.
A big no for me. Seriously, what the hell was she thinking?
Kaiser, you need to get your eyes checked! That necklace is GORGEOUS!! 🙂
The gown however, meh
Matie: there’s a world of difference between straight, non-curly hair and hair that has been flat-ironed to within an inch of it’s overfried life. This looks so dated and it doesn’t flatter her, either. She looks miles better (better, not good) with soft waves or tousled air-dried hair.
I hate the dress, that giant V is so ugly and so overdone. Her girls look pretty good to me, much higher than Pippa’s and she’s nursed two kids. But the dress still isn’t doing them any favors; it’s just not an elegant look. I LOVE the necklace, but not with that neckline. Goop, you got the make-up artist, now get a stylist!
Goopy Lovely. Not regular lovely, but Goopy Lovely.
As a German I’m deeply embarrassed – we even gave an Award for “Film International”. SHAME! Prolly she was the only US-Celeb that would show up if she get a Bambi in return! I can’t think of 1 succsessful movie she was in.
Straight hair isn’t 90s but Goop wears her hair like that 4ver. She does nothing with those spaghettis not even on red carpets, boring as fuck!
#2 Matie: There is no need to put down curly hair just because the author of this post made a disparaging remark about straight hair. All hair can be sexy.
As for the study, I’m sure the reason more men find straight hair sex is because the media/Hollywood has always made curly hair = unkempt, wild, dirty, too ethnic, unprofessional. Just look at any movie were the female character gets a makeover. She starts out with frizz, big curly hair and is only considered beautiful and sexy after she has it straightened. Or the nerdy unpopular girls has big, curly hair, while the popular girls have straight hair. This because curly hair has long been associated with ethnic minorities, Blacks, and Latinos while straight hair is associated with Anglo-Saxon white people and since we have a Eurocentric/WASP obsessed media straight hair is considered the most desired hair type.
@jinnii By the way, I’m Latina, not white, so I wasn’t insulting non-whites because I am non-white too.
Beautiful dress for someone with olive skin and feminine curves. Not for someone who looks like chicken.
She looks awesome. Arrrgh.
That green dress is not eco-friendly to Goop but on the model it looked fab.
LOL @ “On Goop, though, it falls flat” FLAT….ha, ha, ha.
Jinni, you’re my hero!
Sincerely,
Curly-haired girl
I like the dress. I don’t like the hair, it looks stringy to me. But while the necklace is beautiful, it over powers the dress. That low neckline does not need any jewelry.
Her body looks great in the dress.. maybe a ponytail would have been best, and take off the necklace.
Lovely dress but I would have to have to the rest of the missing top added back in…as she should have …Sorry sweetie, but when you pass a certain age you need to stop showing them off and start covering them up…She passed that age..but the necklace is to die for !!!
Necklace is amazing. The dress is too glittery to my eyes.
I think she’s killing it. Very pretty. LOVE the necklace.
Foir someone as obsessed with her looks as Goopy is, she should be aware of how aging that flat ironed center part is. Look at how it drags her face right down onto her slumping shoulders. Not sure where I read it, but someone pointed out that a center part is like an arrow pointing to your face, and that face better be young and pretty to pull it off.
I think she looks great in the dress. Gorgeous color, and fits her like a glove. The necklace is overkill for me. If the dress is so bright, I don’t think the diamonds are necessary.
I agree with you about the hair. The problem is not so much that its straight, its that she has the hairstylist, she has the resources and yet this is the dull hair she wears for the red carpet? Change up that hair! Give it some Veronica Lake waves. Or pull it back into a 1940s chignon (like the Elie Saab runway model was rockin)
#11 Matie: I wasn’t trying to imply that you were racist. I thought that by pointing out that men thought straight hair was sexy you were trying to imply that curly hair wasn’t, which I took to be an insult. I brought up race because a lot of the reasons why curly hair is disliked or has negative stereotypes surrounding it has to do with racism. Besides plenty of WASPy white people have curly hair and even they have to deal with the negative stereotypes.
#15 Nanz: Thanks.
It’s a very pretty dress and she looks wonderful but I AM SO TIRED OF THAT FLAT-IRONED HAIR. Would it kill her to change it up once in a while?
Flat ironed hair is incredibly outdated. along with her flat, droopy, boney chest, she looks a nightmare. don’t get me started on the tan.
I actually like the dress, although I think her necklace is too much. An more simple diamond y-necklace with a big teardrop emerald at the bottom right between her cleavage would have looked awesome. She really does need to do something different with her hair. She’s had the same hairdo for years.
Gorgeous color, just not on her. She needs warmer colors. I am of Irish decent and have curly/frizzy/poofy hair, the only thing that works to bring it under control is a flat iron.
Well I think she looks very good. I think the dress is lovely. It would be better if she changed her hairstyle from time to time though.
Great dress just not on her, Goop neck is one color, her chest is another and below her chest is another color and is only emphasized by the v neck; now the model look fab in the dress and I agree that the necklace was over kill and the hair is tragic.
that dress is beyond hideous on her – only get your chest out if it doesn’t look like a toast rack in a wet paper bag
She doesn’t look good in my view. 1) Hair too blond, too straight, too dated; 2) skin on her face to red; 3) she’s too thin and it takes away from her looks; 3) the necklace may be attractive but not with the dress…it takes away from it. Attention drawn to the necklace and it should be a more subtle compliment. And the dress would look better on someone with curves.
I hate the ironed straight hair look. I have straight hair but when I’ve tried to iron it to make it straighter, it just looks flat. I never thought that curly hair is not as sexy as straight hair.
BTW – that green color is bad on her. Her face looks ruddy because of it.
Love the dress on her. Necklace too white and overpowering, hair needs a trim and some body. I also like the suggestion of a ponytail w/teased crown.
it’s not the dress, it’s not the necklace, it’s not the hair. it’s the POSTURE. for the self-righteous, pompous, alleged perfectionist that she is, it’s positively laughable that she is always so slump shouldered. Perhaps if she gooped it and lectured us on how important good posture is on the red carpet and everywhere else in life, maybe she would remember to stand UP once in a while.
That is an awful color!
Hmmm. Men have always loved my long curly hair, so I don’t get the ‘straight hair is considered more sexy’ thing. Even though there was a study that ‘proved’ it. I’m a firm believer that we look best in the color and texture we were born with, and to learn how to work with what you’ve got.
Goop looks sort of ok here, though I could do without the window to her wishbone area. 0_o
I kind of love the dress, but don’t think it works for her. The necklace is pretty, but should not have been paired with that particular dress.
She looks like a spangled zucchini.
She’ll never change her hair because her hair is ‘half the battle to looking and feeling good’. She’s so intelligent, sensitive, deep! All ‘natural’ in every way.
She tries too hard to stay relevant. Desperation is not a good look, Paltry.
Her posture is the worst. As well as her goopy attitude of how much better she has been and always will be.
Somehow someone must get her to realize what a laughable hack she is.
Yuck!
I think she looks nice. Some shoulder pads would help with the slumping though.
The dress is gorgeous, but Goopy doesn’t have the waist to pull it off. Her waist-to-hip ratio isn’t good. She either needs to start wearing corsets at home to cinch in her waist a little, or she needs to dress for her figure in stuff that wont emphasize the “boyish” middle section of her bod too much. As for the boobs, I’m happy she’s all natural. I’d rather see that than big implants. If Debra Messing, Calista Flockhart, and Goldie Hawn (not lately but in past decades) can embrace their flat chests, why can’t Goopy?
Hey Kaiser, we know you loathe the woman, but no, she doesn’t look like hell. She actually looks pretty good in that dress and the necklace is gorgeous.
How unimaginative! Yet another boobie-baring dress cut down to the waist! BORING!!!
The dress is beautiful, but it better suited to someone with more in the chest area. The low cut really just reminds you how flat she is.
The flat, center parted straight hair IS so 1990s. Her posture makes that dress look preposterous, and the necklace is all wrong – way too much sparkle. This is a mess.
@jinni: so well said! I’ve often tried to explain the politics of hair to people, and I can’t find a simple way to explain what initially seems like a complicated idea. The way you explained it was wonderful.
I agree with the others, that flat-ironed hair looks so flat and fried. Dark days for the Dame.
Dup post
Dup post
Love the necklace, but it doesn’t work with this neckline, and the dress is a little too mermaid prom for my taste. Gwyneth does a better job when she dresses herself vs. relying on a stylist. I miss her 90’s style, which was much more classic and waspy. She is trying too hard to be edgy now and her shoes especially are almost always wrong.
#45 Yasmine: Thanks.
@Spectre: Shakespeare in Love was a successful movie. So please, walk away.
I personally think that it is a nice dress, but makes her look like some kind of mermaid.
Looks like the top of this Christmas tree was hit by lightening.
She looks like a tacky Christmas ornament. Fug.
She will always droopify & goopify an outfit no matter how beautiful it is (and this one is beautiful). She has very poor posture (droopy sloping shoulders, droopy pigeon-toed stance) for someone who is so into yoga and exercise. And that droopy hair, blech. She does not have a nice outline to her frame no matter how muscled-up, thin, or in shape she is.
I like the dress and necklace, just not together or on her. My natural hair is tight curls, same with my daughter, since she’s not even 2 it might change. I have flat iron my hair and/or relax it to manage it….. but if I had the money she has I could get it styled nicely and differently all the time. No excuse for the same flat, bland hair day after day, especially at an event or red carpet.
she looks like she should be turning the letters around on wheel of fortune.
After all those red carpets she still doesn’t know how to pose?
Unsexiest woman alive
that dress would be hot on someone with brown skin and curves.
@ #50
I watched Shakepeare in love and The talented Mr. Ripley – over a decade ago. I wouldn’t have said anything if they gave her that award back then but they gave it to her YESTERDAY. For what? Contagion? IMO it’s ridiculous.
Hair is too blonde, too straight, and blah. Gorgeous dress, just not on her.
I don’t understand her choices. She’s fit, attractive, aging well with tons of money to spend. Why are the fashion choices so poor?
Bear in mind that I hate the Goop. No, make that H.A.T.E. her.
But, through clenched fingers I say she looks great in that dress.
p.s. if Goop is going to insist on flat ironing, she really needs to buy a good smoothing product. Too many fly-aways!
necklace and dress match fail.
that necklace looks like it was stolen off Krystal Carrington’s neck in 1987. YUCK. you can pull that off, but not with the dress she’s wearing here.
that’s right up there with Kim Richard’s pearl choker terror.
I wish she would have worn a sleek ponytail – I think she’s wearing her hair down because it feels like it covers her up a bit. I like low cut dresses on small chests – then they aren’t so ‘in your face’. I kind of feel like the dress is heavy and pulling her down. I actually think she could have gone a bit smaller, it looks a tad big on her. Love the color on her – and I think she looks amazing with flat hair. She’s lucky that she can pull it off.
sun damage!
She should have skipped the necklace and but her hair up in a chignon or a ponytail as other people have already said and she would have looked alot nicer.
the dress and the necklace clash – she should have worn one or the other, not both. her figure is not that awesome, her posture makes it worse, her skin looks bad, her hair is fried, and her makeup is atrocious.
other than that, not bad for goopy.
She looks like the Wizard of OZ castle.
Gwyneth’s Last Look In Mirror Before Leaving The House:
Straight hair [check]
No bra [check]
Wrong makeup for my eye shape [check]
Using blush all over my face [check]
Wrong jewelry w/dress [check]
Forgetting to stand straight [check]
Yuk.
Goop is trying too hard! That necklace is inappropriate with that dress but the dress is lovely. Not on Goop though. Why can she not at least put her hair up? I want to cut off all those dead split-ends. Uhg!
No, I don’t like it.
Kermit the Frog doesn’t like this DroopyGoopy parade either. Anorexic froggies are not healthy or sexy. Kermie thinks Halle Berry would look stunning in the Swamp Dress.
She looks lovely.
Can someone explain why this woman is so hated?
This dress could have been stunning on another skin tone, but on her she just looks pasty faced. Her make-up is terrible.
@bros, you’re so right!
Necklace by Krystal*
Dress by Kermit
The fried hair and complexion don’t help, and the flattened cleavage — oy vey. These sequin dresses weigh pounds and pounds; she should have worn some support just to fight the weight of the dress.
* Re: Krystal Carrington, too bad Alexis isn’t around to push Gwyneth into a fountain so she’d have to change.
@Matie – I’m a sociologist and I would LOVE to see the study which proved straight hair has been shown to be sexier than curly… LOL
Bad hair is just bad hair…long, short, straight or curly. And Goop has bad hair, its fried and breaking on the ends, is too brassy and lacks shine.
The dress is wearing Gwyennie and does not suit her at ALL…and its a gorgeous dress…
I don’t hate Goop..she is a fine actress. However, her pasty, flat chested-crusty fried haired advice about nutrition is absurd to me. Without makeup and an army of stylists she looks dreadful.
She looks fine, though I would have preferred to see her in that dress that Zoe Saldana wore to the Latin Grammys recently. Now that was a pretty green.
Fug from head to toe. Just awful.
@bunny
I agree, it’s the posture. Same with Julia Roberts. I don’t understand why they can’t stand straight and tall like Nicole Kidman.
She looks fabulous!
I agree about the necklace being fug. It looks like a diamond-crusted handjob.
That’s the best she;s looked in a long time. I like how it’s a different green under different lights, but always works with her coloring. I still cannot stand her, of course.
@75. Jane: Ever since she started spouting lifestyle advice, the phrase “unexamined privilege” floats around her like a musky haze. Also, her acting has stagnated since the early 2000-ies.
Seems like everyone hates her; I personally think she is very talented and I also think she looks gorgeous.
Love the dress, but not on Goop. The top requires what Goops fried egg boobs can’t do for it. Sorry, I don’t see why everyone thinks she’s got such a great chest area. To me her boobs have always looked saggy, even when she was first on the scene, looooooog before nursing 2 kids. And my God, how much sun damage does she have there? Gross! Goop, you’re only a few sunbathing hours away from rocking a Magda.
The necklace is stunning but it competes too much with the dress.
Goops hair. Sick to death of looking at that stringy mess–what, she can hire a makeup artist but she can’t hire someone to trim off those flat-ironed-to-death ends? And that hair ook needs to be utterly retired, never to be seen again. She needs hair with some texture, some body. Everything about her is just FLAT.