I’ve been holding up Scout Willis as an example of a celebrity-kid making her own way in the world. Instead of mindlessly doing the party circuit in LA and trying to make a “movie career” happen, Scout was actually pursuing a higher education. She’s enrolled at Brown University, and I think she’s going into her third year. Well, as it turns out, Scout is just as “wild” as all the other celebrity kids. Scout is only 20 years old, and she had a fake ID, which she was using to drink in NYC. The cops busted her, and when they asked for her ID, she gave them the fake one. So… she’s in a lot of trouble now.
Scout Willis, the 20-year-old daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, was busted for allegedly drinking a beer in Union Square and giving cops a fake ID, the Daily News has learned.
The Brown University student was released without bail Tuesday and ordered to return to Manhattan Criminal Court on July 31.
The celebrity spawn was nabbed just before 7 p.m. Monday by a transit cop who spotted her with an 8-ounce Pakistani beer, according to court papers.
She gave the officer a New York ID card with the name Katherine Kelly, but the cop didn’t fall for it. After she was questioned further, Willis brought out her real California ID.
“My name is Scout Willis,” she told the officer, according to the criminal complaint. “The first ID isn’t mine. My friend gave it to me. I don’t know Katherine Kelly.”
The wannabe singer was charged with criminal impersonation and breaking the open container law, both misdemeanors.
The arrest comes a few months after Willis raised eyebrows with a Twitter feed that declared she hated her parents, had tried the designer drug MDMA and was hit on by photographer Terry Richardson.
She later said the tweets were a “hoax” she created for a class at Brown, intended to show that the more outrageous your posts, the more followers you get.
CB and I just debated this – something similar happened to a friend, back when I was in college. Only my friend was the one whose ID was used by her sister – and her sister got into a ton of trouble with the law. I mean… I understand using a fake ID to go out drinking. But never, ever give your fake ID to the cops when the jig is up. Especially now, in our post-9/11 world, where a fake ID can be a federal crime. My guess is that Scout probably won’t be in that much trouble, though. Unless they want to make an example of her. Which won’t happen because her dad is Bruce Willis.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Pacific Coast News.
We’re not shocked by this are we?
I’m shocked she’s in college.
I thought the header pic was just taken at a weird angle, but it looks like she has an internal weird angle.
I predict a stint in rehab, followed by a modeling career and after that, People Magazine’s Most Beautiful List, like her mother and older sister.
Haha @ “internal weird angle.” I think I’ve got one of those, too.
Okay, that’s funny! 🙂
Seriously, I have never seen someone with a diagonal head.
My thoughts exactly.
hahah…internal weird angle! what would Tyra say? hahahhaha
So what? Scout is in college. many stupid kids drink and and make idiots of themselves. Scout is just one more. With the BS she has to endure at home, why not? Keep to your studies deary – ultimately.
I really hope she’s not falling off the wagon, especially not after getting into Brown & actually going in the right direction in life. (which means whatever direction is away from her family.)
My… those girls are unfortunate looking.
THIS!! And then to have that Superficial ass Diet obsessed Mom?!
Took the words out of my mouth. Unfortunate indeed.
Sadly, I have to agree. Bruce Willis’ facial features don’t work well on his daughters.
I hope they just photograph fugly. The youngest daughter seemed to be cute?
Omg, I know! They got the worst of Bruce and Demi 🙁
Their genes just couldn’t figure sh-t out, so they were like… man, f-k this sh-t. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here on the chin!
No question the girls’ got the worst features of their parents. Their girls definitely got hit with the ugly stick. Demi is absolutely stunning……who would of thunk…..
To put it kindly….very unfortunate.
Is it at all possible that they just photograph horribly??
What’s worse is the problems seem to be in the bone structure so there is not a whole lot that can be done via surgery to make them less….cinderella step sisters looking.
Took the words out of my mouth! Ugh. Pink is gross on her, too.
I hear the used these pictures in Guantanamo with Rumer’s singing as the soundtrack. that’s how they found Bin Laden.
I can’t help thinking that they’d look better with larger eyebrows.
When I was twelve and discovered plucking (with unfortunate results) the thin brow look always made my head look larger.
Those were the first words out of my mouf. Having Bruce and Demi for genetic material didn’t work out well for these girls.
I usually try hard not to say someone should get plastic surgery, but if those girls had their jaws shaved down, they would look so much better.
But from what I understand, it’s a very painful surgery. Heidi Montag had it and didn’t even need it.
I feel like such a bitch for my opinion of these girls’ looks. But in a thread a while back, someone called Rumor ‘Buzz Lightyear’…haven’t been able to get it out of my head since.
I don’t think I’d ever even seen Scout before! Seeing the two together only makes the looks more harsh. Poor Scout, at least Rumor got Demi’s eye area.
I have *1* feature I dislike (a small bump on the bridge of my nose, from breaking it young) that I used to obsess over. Seeing what these girls have to deal with, it makes me feel like a compete idiot who should STFU & be grateful, because it could’ve been so much worse.
They have horrible hair, which makes no sense, seeing as hairstyle could *greatly* help with changing the appearance of the chin/jaw shape. Long layers especially. Don’t know why they’ve never utilized the tools at their disposal.
WOW!! LOL, I was just going to make exactly the same comment.
Lord, I would surely drink if I looked like Bruce Willis in drag.
Except…..Unfortuantely….I think Bruce is more attractive, even in drag!
Hey, that’s a 20-year-old college girl. Maybe she just photographs badly. How would you feel if some jerk said you looked like your father in drag.
Sorry….but it looks like Bruce Willis in drag after a week-long drinkin binder
Newtsgal . . . too funny!
these 3 girls always look so lost and messed up. i guess this is no surprise.
bruce and demi did a real bang up job as parents.
Yikes! Its Bruce Willis in a blonde wig!
She was charged with two misdemeanors. Not exactly a huge deal …
I know it’s a dick thing to say but, honestly, the Willis girls are quite possibly the worst looking celeb spawns out there.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I know, right? you’d figure two people who look decent would make ok babies; but not so much… Their genes obviously hated each other.
Yeah…I honestly feel bad for saying that because there’s not much they can do about it — but I can’t help it!
Lainey has an awesome theory about beautiful couples making ugly sons/daughters. Let me see if I can find it.
EDIT — here it is:
For those new to the site, the Celebrity Baby Theory works as follows:
Hot + hot = Ugly
Hot + average = Fairly attractive
Average + Average = Hot
Horse face stars + gay husbands = Cute
Hot + Ugly = Ugly
Average + Ugly = Uglier
Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace
Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace…LMAO!
I agree!
What about Donatella’s daughter – she turned out OK looks-wise; I’ve read she has an eating disorder unfortunately.
@ NYC_gal:
Donatella Versace is the result, not one of the addends (in that sum).
You just said what many are thinking! The Wilis genes really came out in these three sadly.
It can’t be easy for those girls. I would not like to have to tell people Demi Moore is my mum,then have to watch their faces as they comprehend this.
Have pity ladies.
Oh please. A 20 year old college student with a fake ID drinking? You just described 85% of kids that age. This is no biggie.
For real. An 8 ounce beer at 7 pm is not wild, it’s super normal for a college kid. Even a studious college kid. Now, handing over a fake ID to a cop, that’s not so bright.
Agreed.
But damn!
is she so book-smart that she is so STUPID as to give the cop the ID?
And let me tell you, Union Square (aka 14th Street, aka NYU town) is loaded with cops. She is seriously a freaking idiot.
being “book smart” usually doesn’t translate into common sense. Most people, especially celebs and their spawns, lack any common sense because they become slightly delusional when their fame eclipses who they are.
Yeah, book smart tends not to translate well to social skills and common sense.
I say this as the loving mother of 3 children, one of whom has a highly developed intelligence when it comes to math and science, but a certain naivete when it comes to the social stuff. The other one has a highly developed intelligence when it comes to reading, speaking, and the English language; and is generally completely comfortable in shocial stuff and has common sense.
(pardon the typos – my middle finger is broken)
Bella, what you do to your finger girl?? Ironically I’m also recovering from a broken middle finger – two pins and a cast for a month and when it all came off/out finger looks as buggered up as it did before argh. Horse related thingy… my brat has since been sent to the trainer for 6 weeks of boot camp 🙂 Anyway, my ouchie sympathies and hope you heal up quickly!
Aaaah, skuddles, it was a process. Toddles pulls on my fingers to get me to go in his direction of intent (he jammed it or dislocated it or something – would that I could send him to a six week boot camp!!!!); then I was carrying a full laundry basket through a doorway (we have crown moulding) and I slammed the knuckle into the door jamb; then, later that same night (last night), the wind blew the the door from the “mud room” to the kitchen closed as I was walking through and BAM! in the SAME. EXACT. PLACE.
I yelled “F*CK ME!” (Toddles was outside w/ Daddy) and when Daddy said “What happened?” (Because he heard me from inside) I said “Well, if it wasn’t broken before, it sure as hell is now!”
(No insurance, so we’re handling it on our own – it’s now in a proper splint and bandaged. But it SERIOUSLY slows down my WPM!) 🙁
Wow, that’s quite the bizarre chain of events… it’s like the universe had it in for your poor finger!! When you looked at it after the door nailed it did it look obviously askew or do you think it’s a pretty clean fracture? I’m glad to hear you’re all nicely splinted now – don’t be temped to take that thing off anytime too soon (my doc said 4 weeks and no lifting anything heavier than a soup can for a month). I SO empathize with you on the typing thing – drove me bonkers at work as I’m in finance and must use keyboard constantly – I had to learn how to type quickly with one hand (cast only left my thumb free on that hand) and I could only manage CTRL ALT DEL with a pen in my mouth. And forgot doing dishes … wait, that was a total perk, never mind 😀 Hang in there bella and take good care of that finger – and remind yourself, this too shall pass (my mantra after 3 broken bones and a possibly fractured tailbone in less than a year).
this +1
If it was any other college student I bet it wouldn’t even make the school newpapers police blotter. Was it stupid to give the cop the fake id? Of course.
Exactly! why are we drawing the distinction between celeb kids and NORMAL kids when it comes to this? Most college kids drink y’all, regardless of whether they’re of legal drinking age. Plus if I had Demi as a mom, I’d be hitting the bottle too. And HARD.
I know in the us it’s 21 to drink but I’m Irish and it’s 18 here so I just find it bizare that ye give 20 year olds so much shit for drinking. It really is very strange to me. Here, we were trying, and often suceeding, to get into nightclubs at 16. And it’s never considered a big deal if you’re 17 and drink in pubs with your parents. So I say give her a break. Shes TWENTY!
AGREED.
Says the person from the country stereotypically known as a land of heavy drinkers.
Look, potato head #2 is rich. let the booksmart idiot fly to Quebec (legal age to drink is 18} or Toronto (legal age is 19), or be like the other college kids and drink your illegal beers behind closed doors. The law is the law and if you are gonna be stupid and break it, at least be smart enough to not do it where a cop can easily see you.
Or do like my friends did and pour it into an applejuice container. These young people lack creativity nowadays…
WAY harsh, Tai. I was getting into nightclubs at 17 or 18 by using a friend’s ID, but that was the “Pre-Russell Edgington Era.”
I was also very creative I once rolled an of-age friend’s hand stamp onto mine while it was still wet. When the bartender questioned me, I turned it around and demanded “Well, don’t you wash YOUR hands after you use the restroom? If not, I want HIM to make my drink!” And the dude ACTUALLY RE-STAMPED MY HAND!
@Bellaluna
Haha! To half the cost of getting into clubs, my friend will pay her way in and go out for a “smoke”, then lick her hand and use it to put a stamp on mine. Works every time.
Right. But here it’s 21. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. I’m not saying people don’t do it. But the law is 21.
Don’t forget the US gov’mt trusts us with a gun and killing people at 18 but we can’t have a drink before we’re marched off to our death. Sorry to sound like I’m on a soap box. Love our military men and women but not fond of the cowards (none of whom who have ever been in the service)who create these wars.
@Lol – totes agree.
I’m from Australia and the legal age is 18. Kids regularly start drinking with their parents around 15, 16. And start trying to get into clubs using whatever wily means possible.
Scout is TWENTY FFS. Honestly Americans are a strange breed. PLUS that poor child is so unfortunate looking.
Snowpea – We allowed our oldest (now almost 22) to drink at home (at a reasonable age, and within reason), with his closest friends (1 or 2 who could keep their mouths shut), provided we kept the car keys and no one went anywhere.
If I had to choose between a kid who goes out to drink and winds up drugged/dead/in a car accident because of partying, my choice will ALWAYS be “Call us if you need a ride, no questions asked;” “Invite your friend(s) over and nobody leaves if they’ve been drinking;” or “Have them over, but nobody drives anywhere.”
Don’t get me wrong: We weren’t mainlining our oldest and his friends with tequila, but we also knew that our home was a safe place.
I’m not condoning under-age drinking, but I’m also not naive enough to think it doesn’t happen.
If you look up the various drinking laws in various states, you’ll see the “21 to drink” thing is not so cut and dry. Many states allow the parent to decide if their under-21 children can drink at home (I don’t think to the point of inebriation, but still).
To purchase, however- still 21.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world who never went crazy in college with underage drinking (I never drank at a restaurant or bar until I was actually 21, only ever a few sips of wine or something with my parents) or drugs (have still never tried weed). But my friends were the same and we certainly had no problem having fun without that stuff.
Ditto. Never applied to the “all kids that age do that” short of thing. But it’s fine with me. 🙂
i didn’t either. 🙂
I’ve never even been drunk and have never touched illegal drugs of any kind.
I can’t even drink anything now because of the meds I take and it doesn’t bother me at all. Alcohol gives me the worst heartburn.
A few times I have wondered what it’s like to be drunk though. 😛
Fake ID! Having college kids myself I can assure you that it is more common than not! Not that I condone but come on, let’s be realistic about our college attending masses. Agree with Kaiser though, you don’t hand over the fake ID to the cop when you get busted.
Really? This is shocking?
Hasn’t just about everyone had a drink while underage and used fake ID? Sheesh. I understand the drinking age is 21, but do college kids no longer drink?
I am pleased she wasn’t driving.
Never used a fake ID because in my day, the drinking age was 18. It wasn’t raised to 21 until the late 80s/early 90s, depending on the state.
I understand that the logic was that 18 year olds were more likely to buy alcohol for their younger friends, but I still think it’s crazy that in 2012 an 18-year-old can sign up for the military, vote, start a company or get married, and still be considered too young to drink a beer.
Candy me too! They were the good old days huh…no fugly pictures on the license! All the bouncer cared about was it you had one if the LCB came into the bar.
I agree with you on all counts, however, I do believe that raising the age had lots to do with drinking and driving then the actual age bit.
I agree, I think the drinking age should be 19.
my brother intentionally went to college in NJ b/c the drinking age was only 18, then they raised the drinking age. he was kinda pissed
I have friends who are married already! They weren’t even allowed to drink at their weddings! Stupid, stupid laws.
MADD is responsible for the 21 drinking age. Why not raise the driving age? It makes so much more sense.
I used a fake ID in college!!
20 years ago 🙁
@CandyKay: It was sometime In the early 80’s. I am only sure about this b/c it changed as my older sister was turning 18 and she was so pissed!
Man!!!! those are some ugly looking girls. I guess when two good-looking people reproduce the finish product ain’t that pretty WTF!!!!
This article is about Scout using a fake ID to drink, and showing that fake ID to a cop. It is not about Rumer trying to be a model or sing or something. What I’m saying is that it is off topic to bash these girls for their looks. It’s uncalled for. This is not the only person I am responding to.
You’re right, CB. And I apologize for bringing that up myself (in my comment # 8).
Well I am sorry too CB….But their looks are very VERY distracting. VERY.
You are right, CB, but it’s as plain as the chin on….oh never mind.
@Eve and Whoa. I get the urge, and you don’t have to apologize. It just makes me mad when I don’t think they did anything to deserve it. I get it when it involves stories about Rumer – she puts herself out there. Scout, not so much.
I know it is mean to bash them, but I think for many it is a gut reaction. I know the first time someone showed me a pic of the girls and said they were Bruce and Demi’s children I thought it was a photo shopped joke.
CB I agree with you…some things are just better left alone and the purpose of this thread was “fake ID of a 20 year old”.
If the post is JUST about a 20 year old using a fake id, why choose such a tragic header photo?
YES, C/B! I love you for saying this.
And we might all THINK it but I never understand the urge to SAY it. Damn, if I said (or TYPED as the case may be) everything I thought then well, I’d just feel like crap about myself. But then again, always easier to spew hate while hiding behind a comp screen.
EDIT: Eve-you said it NICELY & as gently as possible at least, which is more than I can say for many on here.
Celebitchy, I see your point, BUT..why use such a horrible photo of Scout as the headlining picture? of course people are going to react to her appearance. There are more flattering pictures of her you could have used, just saying..
are the fringy jacket and clogs still up for scrutiny?
I’m in college right now and most students have a fake ID (“just in case”) This is only a big deal because it’s a celebs kid. I don’t have a fake because I’ll be 21 next year and I’ve never felt the need to go through the trouble (and the risk) of getting one.
I don’t really want to call them ugly, but that IS the first thing that came to mind. That being said, this isn’t really some horrendous crime; she’ll live and learn like everyone else.
Oh my gosh, I’m on the floor thrashin’ about. Lol.
Agree, most of us have drank and used a fake ID at some point in our college years. Glad she’s in college, sorry she has the stigma and headache of being a celebrities child.
Bruce Willis has been sober for more than twenty years. I don’t think he’ll be too thrilled about his daughters hitting the party circuit.
*I really hate to be so mean, but..*
Yikes! What must it be like to be Rumur Willis’ LESS attractive sister? I’d drink too! I wonder what the picture in the fake ID looked like? An average looking girl? No wonder the cop didn’t buy it.
CO-SIGN!
you need to come give me a hug cause I fell out of my chair…
CB– I’m sorry, and please don’t ban me but how can we NOT mention La Cara of this Willis daughter? This is a site about Hollywood Gossip after all, and it’s the most superficial there is out there. Let’s not be disingenuous about what some people are going to think about the superficial.
I’ll say SOMETHING nice:
On a positive note, at least Rumer isn’t alone in this world!
Scout has a very nice manicure!
Totally. It’s so nice and clean looking, and her cuticles aren’t flooded! I approve!
So I guess telling her to keep her chin up is a bad thing?
BRAVO!
Yeah they are not very attractive, that’s for sure.
Now can they arrest Raccoon McPantless? I know she’s doing some illegal & underage stuff.
I agree with CB. Completely uncalled for you guys. And it’s just nasty. I feel bad just reading this stuff that’s being said. Ugh.
I’m sayin’-we all know it’s superficial celeb gossip but this kind of meanness is just bad for the soul. I’m the type to never say something without carefully considering the intention behind it so I have to wonder: What do people get from mocking another woman’s appearance? Not seeing the payoff there aside from feeling like a mean jerk.
Again, we’re not making fun of her outfit, but talking about her genetic makeup which she can’t help.
These aren’t ugly girls. They are average looking girls who happen to have been born to two famous, attractive people so they are judged more harshly. Also, do we actually know what Demi looks like to see what genes she passed along? She’s had so much plastic surgery…
Plus, that was foolish to give the cop her fake ID but getting busted for underage drinking at 20 isn’t exactly cause to break out the Lohan alert!
I agree with everything you’ve said. I remember them as children, and they were adorable.
I don’t think what happened is that big a deal, but she was definitely foolish to hand a fake ID to the cops.
I’m glad she’s going to college though, hopefully she will do something good after that, instead of just sponging off her parents fame and fortune as so many celeb kids do.
Definitively an idiot.
She is 20 years old for heavens sake, mere months from being legal.
Regardless of what Mother Nature did or did not endow these girls with, my question is why do they always look so budget? Scout’s hair looks cheap, drug store, bottled blonde, and her outfit is awful.
I’m just saying, if I had that kind of money at my disposal, I’d certainly look more put together than that.
Totally 50/50 on believing that news tip that she likes her boyfreinds to wear black face when they do her!
Show me a college (or even HS) kid who hasn’t tried to use a fake ID! Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Now, I’m not condoning it; but I’m not judging it, either. If you can die for your country at 18, you should be able to buy a f’ng beer.
But don’t ever, EVER hand said fake ID to cops. That’s just asking for more trouble.
Ugh, I luckily left Virginia to go to school in Vancouver, so I’ve been allowed to drink legally for two years although I’m 2 months from turning 21. I’ve noticed that Canadians my age are MUCH more responsible about drinking because it doesn’t have that enticing “forbidden” vibe to it.
But yeah, everyone I know from home has a fake ID. It’s just part of going to college. There are specific bars on almost every small-town campus that are known for being relaxed about checking IDs.
Funny story–I just got back to VA for the summer. I’m still 20, but last night I met my friends at a bar for a 21st birthday party and literally walked BEHIND the bouncer. He didn’t even notice, and I got to drink all night without a problem. Kinda awesome 🙂
She is 20 years old, and that is normal behaviour for kids that age. But to regress to my teen years I must say she has approached this in a very dumb way… she looks a hell of a lot like her older sister, she should have just swiped one of Rumors old ID’s not some strangers.
good Lord, those CHINS!!!!
Goodness those are some fugly girls. Where did those chins come from? Did they get one from each parent?
What does the 3rd one look like?
As for her “crime” – since when is being a 20 year old college kid a crime?
Stupidity is hence she is being charged with that.
RE: Scout not putting herself out there like Rumer does in LA…
Until I read excerpts from her bizarro Twitter account, Scout seemed like the unassuming middle Willis who went away to college and did normal things like underage drinking:
http://www.ivygateblog.com/2012/03/terry-richardson-tried-to-finger-me-demi-moores-21-year-old-daughter-secretly-tweets-heavy-drug-use-graphic-sex-life-at-brown/
The tweets are almost too casually pretentious to be taken seriously, but that is DEF someone trying to “put themselves out there” in a not-so-secretive way.
I almost respect Rumer more for going to ridiculous red carpet events and posing for fashion spreads than her sister’s “anonymous” tweeting.
haha funny fake ID story:
When I was in college, I was visiting my friend in Pittsburgh one summer at Carnegie-Mellon. She decided to be “helpful” and made one of the worst fake IDs I’ve ever seen, so I could take the bus for free around Pittsburgh (all Carnegie-Mellon students get to ride the bus for free). It worked well enough until I flashed the ID a bit too long at the bus driver who then took it from me and gave me a lecture about using fake IDs… then kicked me off his bus. I was so terrified of my parents finding out.
Months later I told her the story and she laughed at me saying, “That’s like getting kicked out of the library for talking too loud! You could have had the decency to get kicked out of a bar instead!”
Clearly wasn’t rebellious enough!
Amy, clearly I was much luckier than you: I actually went to a club with a group of friends, and the girl whose ID I used was LITERALLY 3 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME. She passed her ID back amongst our 3 friends to hand to me, and I used it to get in. (Obvs, we looked very similar, minus eye colour & boob size, but the bouncer/door man didn’t look too close!)
I was a schemin’ scandalous party hound in HS! I knew which liquor stores would sell to me at 16! (So did my fellow under-age friends, which is why they always sent me in!) 😉
1.) Wow… those sisters are definitely genetically related!
1.5) Wow… Bruce and Demi’s kids failed to inherit the attractive genes!
2.) Wow… she goes to Brown and is still silly enough to give the cop a fake ID??! That makes me think she got into Brown for being named Willis as opposed to her SAT scores…
I’m so psyched that Scout is wearing clogs and not ugly platform hooker heels like every other 20 year old in Hollywood or with a Hollywood gene pool. Aside from that, many many college kids use fake id’s to get into bars. As someone making fun of Jill Zarin would say, “Who cayuhs?”
If you had to choose between
being attractive and poor or
being unattractive and rich which would you choose and no plastic surgery if you were rich
Where’s the “attractive and poor” in that equation?
How about “rich and unhappy” or “poor and happy?” ‘Cause I think that one’s most important.
I don’t understand how Americans over 18 can join the army and go to war, get married, vote, own a gun, pay taxes and all other things that come with the responsibility of that magic number 18 but you’re not considered mature enough to drink until you’re 21. It’s just odd. Ooooh no, she’s 20 and drinking a beer.
Meh, it’s not what I’d call wild child behaviour. Just a bit stupid. She probably just panicked.
So that’s what Bruce’s hands would look like if he got a manicure. Eerie…
Remember when Bruce and Demi took off to Idaho (wasn’t it?) to raise their young daughters without the influence of Hollywood? Then, when those girls hit their teens–they rush back to Hollyweird, push their kids in the spotlight and divorce. Ahem. Should have stayed in Idaho and out of sight, done the whole family a favor…nothing but downhill ever since.