I’m not sure why we’re even pretending there’s any other story out there besides this Kristen Stewart thing. For the younger, Twihard-y set, this story is bigger than Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. This thing is EPIC. Did Kristen Stewart cheat on Robert Pattinson with her SWATH director Rupert Sanders? Did Rupert go down on Kristen in the back of a car? Did Rob already know before now and he’d already forgiven her? Are Us Weekly’s exclusive pics Photoshopped? What does it mean for Kristen’s career if she gets branded as a 22-year-old homewrecker who slept with a married director (with children)? Celebitchy, Bedhead and I have been analyzing this all morning, and I’ve developed some theories. Plus, there’s some additional information. Let’s get to it. God, I love bullet points!

*First, you can see Us Weekly’s exclusive pics here. Check them out before the Tumblr site gets a take-down notice!

*The Telegraph has a piece about Us Weekly’s photos and how they’re totally Photoshopped. Their evidence seems to be that “the offending [Us Weekly] article has now been removed from the magazine’s website following accusations – mainly from die-hard Kristen fans on Twitter – of Photoshop trickery, thus suggesting their claims are entirely false.” Except that Us Weekly took the article down for a little while, and then put it back up, and it’s still up now.

*Other “Photoshop evidence” includes the theory that the photo used on Us Weekly’s cover – allegedly of Sanders embracing Kristen from behind – is actually an older photo of Kristen and Rob. I swear, I HAVE seen a photo that looks a lot like that of Kristen and Rob, so there is a chance that the inset image is Photoshopped. Although I’m looking at the larger image inside the magazine, and maybe not.

They claim that Kristen’s face has been digitally imposed onto Ross’ body, pointing out that the shoulder in the picture is extremely bony, unlike Kristen’s, but very much like Sander’s model wife’s, and also that the hairline matches Ross’. Some Kristen fans have even posted the photo from which Kristen’s face appears to have been lifted – ironically it’s a picture in which she is seen with boyfriend Robert Pattinson. Another theory is that the inset photo is of Rupert and his wife, and Kristen’s face was ‘Shopped in.

*Everyone is now talking about Rupert’s wife, Liberty Ross. She’s a model and actress (she appeared in SWATH and Madonna’s W.E.), and she’s mom to Skyla and Tennyson. There were some reports that she called into an Aussie radio show this morning to “confirm” that she was the one in the photos, not Kristen – but the radio station says it wasn’t her and they haven’t been in contact with her. Liberty did have a Twitter account, but she took it down yesterday after her last tweet: “Wow”. Incidentally, Liberty played Kristen’s mother in the film. Ouch.

*POOR SPARKLES. That’s what everyone is saying now. Poor, poor Sparkles who just got his heart broken by a mean, Chuck-Taylor-wearing-lesbian who cheated on him with a dude!!!! Twihards are in full-on meltdown, obviously. Sparkles might be crying about it too. Interestingly enough, in a Vanity Fair Italia interview a few months ago, Rob did discuss infidelity in general terms, saying: “There is one thing I’ve never understood, why people cheat. My parents met when my mom was 17 and my father 25, they are still together and seem very happy. I grew up believing that you can be together all of your life. I understand the impulse, but not how you can maintain two relationships for long. And though I understand that cheating can happen to those who have children, because the stress can make people stray, I can’t really understand how someone free of any commitment could possible choose to have four women at the same time. It must be like hell for a man. There is the idea of the saving love, I believe it. I’m not mushy but I have a romantic soul. Having grown up with two older sisters I have a deep respect for women. Sex and feeling for me go hand in hand. I’m not interested in casual relationships, I need to know people.” WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Does that mean he’ll forgive her?! GAH!!!

*A lot of people seem to think that we should give Kristen the benefit of the doubt because she has not issued any direct statements thus far. I think the photos speak volumes (if you believe the photos are real), but beyond that, I think it’s interesting that People Magazine got the confirmation from a “source” close to Kristen – the source told People, “Kristen is absolutely devastated. It was a mistake and a complete lapse in judgment. She wasn’t having an affair with Rupert. It was just a fleeting moment that shouldn’t have happened. She never meant to hurt anyone. She’s a good person who just made a bad choice.” That sounds like the first step of Kristen’s rehabilitation tour, although I think it was a bad PR move. Basically, People Mag got the go-ahead from someone close to Kristen to confirm the photos in some kind of “context” which would half-heartedly justify her actions.

In closing, I think I should just say… I’m not going to take any victory laps on this one. We got a bunch of emails last night from anti-Kristen people telling me that I had Kristen’s number all along. While I do think my take on Kristen was right – an unprofessional, try-hard poseur, too “affected” and too concerned with her own image, and a player of the boys in her life – I’m not happy about being right. Kristen just f—ked up this dude’s marriage, she cheated on a dude who (I believe) adores her, she severely damaged the Twilight brand (the studio is going to be PISSED), and she’s going to be blasted in the press for a long, long time. It sucks for everyone involved.

Oh, and Kristen really is Angelina Jolie’s tabloid heir, isn’t she? I’ve been saying that for a while. Now Kristen is going to be called a homewrecker for the next decade too.

Photos courtesy of WENN.