Kendall Jenner covers Harper’s Bazaar Arabia at the relatively tender age of 17 years. What’s interesting is that even though her name initially resulted in Kendall’s first modelling jobs a few years ago, she’s a fairly decent model, but the Kardashian-Jenner stigma quite nearly prevents anyone from taking her seriously, which is unfortunate.
The editorial is rather lovely even if the cover (which is featured at the end of this post) isn’t so great because poor Kendall is wearing an ugly black-and-white striped maxi dress from Marc Jacobs. I especially like the shots where she’s sporting mussed up hair and smoky eyes, and the black Gucci gown is probably my favorite outfit of the entire spread. You may notice that Kendall’s long, lean legs appear prominently in this photoshoot, and Kendall discusses in this interview how tough it is to be thin. This seems odd coming from a model, right?
Don’t call her “skinny”: “I’m constantly criticised for being too skinny. I’m trying to gain weight but my body won’t let it happen. What people don’t understand is that calling someone too skinny is the same as calling someone too fat, it’s not a nice feeling.”
She’s not just a Kardashian/Jenner: “I’m trying my best with what I want to do, which is modeling. I think I’m on my own career path and I don’t really care what other people have to say about me being in the spotlight of my sisters. I’m just doing my own thing.”
[From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia]
Hmm. The topic of weight perception is quite a touchy subject, and I have noticed that (quite frequently) whenever we discuss models who have curvy figures in a positive light (such as Kate Upton or Ralph Lauren’s first plus-sized model, Robin Lawley), there’s an undercurrent in the comments from women who take offense at the discussion of how refreshing it is to see models who are not stick thin. Yes, I get that nobody should be passing negative judgment on anyone else’s body, but I have never understood why praising curvy figures is an insult to non-curvy ones.
I come from a complicated perspective on the matter or weight issues and body image. At different points in my life, I have been called both too fat and too skinny, and I can say that (from my perspective) it hurt me a lot more to be called fat. Sure, I was irritated and annoyed to be called skinny, but it never hurt my feelings, and that might be because I’m not naturally skinny. I basically had to stop eating to get there, so my outlook on the matter is definitely warped, and now I simply hit the gym a lot and eat to match. I understand that some of you have expressed (like Kendall) how upsetting it is to be called skinny, and I hope you’ll explain the matter further to me at some point in the future if not today.
Photos courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar Arabia
Calling someone skinny is *not* the same as calling someone fat. Kendall is very young, she doesn’t know anything about being called fat, & with her body type & natural thin build it is unlikely that she ever will be.
I have also been called too skinny and too fat and was bothered by both. Too skinny makes you feel as if you are not sexual, you look strange, so thin, so gross, bones, nothing appealing about your body….I fought just has hard to put the weight back on as when I lost it. The responses from men while being “too thin” were hurtful. “eat a burger” stuff like that..it makes you feel like you look like a freak. : ( btw. I am happy with my weight now and am neither too fat or too thin…
I was a hardcore extomorph until I was 35– I tried to gain weight but nothing would stick to me. I was lambasted regularly by people who thought tearing me to shreds was somehow empowering. Being stopped on the street and ordered to eat a sandwich is pretty degrading. Having people say or imply that you are anorexic, a freak of nature, , unwomanly, etc. is also not fun. I can’t comment on what it feels like to be constantly judged for being fat, but I can imagine. Being judged sucks.
The problem isn’t who is more oppressed– does it have to be a competition?– but that we live in a culture where a woman’s body is viewed as not really hers– it’s a symbol of all our anxieties and something to comment on. Being a model, I think Kendall would be an expert on that topic by now. Yeah, she’s young, but she has the right to her thoughts and feelings..
Praising curvy figures is not a jibe at skinny girls, but when the comments include “what a relief it is to not have to look at those anorexics!” Um, yeah, that is a slight. When people say “real women have curves!” the statement pretty clear: skinny girls are not real women, and their nonexistent feelings can be ignored.
It took me a long time to be at peace with my body. I am naturally thin, even now. At my absolute heaviest, I was still kind of thin. It’s just what’s am. I think the biggest problem it caused me was that I did not learn until much later in life how to exercise and really take care of myself. Now I’m a skinny runner, and I couldn’t be happier.
I agree with Miss Jupitero in regards to:
“Praising curvy figures is not a jibe at skinny girls, but when the comments include “what a relief it is to not have to look at those anorexics!” Um, yeah, that is a slight. When people say “real women have curves!” the statement pretty clear: skinny girls are not real women, and their nonexistent feelings can be ignored.”
In high school and middle school there was a group of girls who called me “Holocaust victim” because I was so thin. My father’s girlfriend used to ask me in front of the family at get togethers if I was anorexic. If I deigned to use the restroom at some point during a meal, then she would announced to the table that I was bulimic. Etc, etc.
At one point I was trying to eat 4K calories a day, hoping I would gain a few pounds and then my outside observers would have less to criticize. To try and say it doesn’t hurt as badly to make fun of someone for being thin as it does for being fat, is not the experience I had. I’ve never been big so I’m unable to compare the situations but my feelings were still hurt and I still felt pretty terrible about my body for a while.
I wish I knew then what I’ve come to know now: women come in all shapes and sizes. One shape does not make a woman more of a woman, than another shape. Now – I’m short, I’m still rail thin, I’m not perfect, but I’m proud of my body, and if anyone tells me now that I’m too thin or that I look “anorexic” I tell them they don’t have to look at me.
Miss Jupitero. Great comment!
“Too skinny makes you feel as if you are not sexual, you look strange, so thin, so gross, bones, nothing appealing about your body”
Exactly how I felt (and still feel, but to a lesser extent)
@Miss Jupitero – If, you are not naturally voluptuous and try to force weight gain I can guarantee the weight won’t look attractive on you. There is such a thing as unnaturally curvy just like there is unnaturally unhealthy skinny. Eating 4000 calories per day is more than the body was designed to handle and could be as damaging to your body as starving and drugging to get skinny. While I’d be lying if I said I “can’t gain weight” because I certainly can if I eat enough junk it took me a long time to accept that the weight at which I have the most energy, personally most like the look of, and know in my gut I’m the most healthy at may be what some people will call “too skinny”. I began to realize that the body that absolutely nobody on the planet dare call too fat or too thin is simply nonexistant because we all have a different asthetic. I do not think you can catorgorize skinny or curvy as sexy/unsexy I think you will look the most sexy when you are being the most true to yourself. I look back now at pictures of when I was intentionally gaining weight to look “sexier” and I see now that I did not look sexy at all, just bloated and dorky and ironically – asexual. I’ll never be Christina Hendricks, cause that weight just doesn’t work on me but now I see that it’s ok.
@Miss Jupitero. You have a very valid and well-stated point. I’ve never been on an extreme end of either spectrum, though I have been pleasantly plump at times. However, you’ve done a good job of making me empathize with what you must have felt like at times.
@Lee, that’s quite abusive.i think if the comments are merely “you are too fat” vs “you are too skinny.” Being called too fat is a bit worse, because of societal expectations. They both suck though, because no one wants other people criticizing their bodies.
I’m glad you are at a nice place with accepting your figure!
I think the main problem is that people assume everyone can manipulate their body into a certain shape. They forget genes come into play, thus giving them the right to judge someone about ‘something they can change by eating more/less’. It’s like telling a handicapped person to get up out of their chair: it doesn’t work that way.
Lots of times you can’t changed your body. When it comes to genes, you got your general shape (bones): wide hips/narrow hips/shoulders, you got fat distribution (more on the butt, boobies or no fat at all), you got your height, which also can make u look skinnier/bigger. Some people tend to build muscle very easily, so they look very fit/atlethic Etc etc. T
here are so many factors u can’t change, unless u take a chainsaw and cut off half of your hips/get surgery on your boobs.
I’ve had this discussion with people at least a thousand times; some people are just build ‘wide’ or very small. If I look at myself for example: it doesn’t matter how much I would starve myself, I will never be a size zero. I have fairly wide hips, which makes it impossible to get below a size 6/8 (not sure of the American sizes here, so rough guess:) I can say size 6 is my size zero: i look ill because the weight looks very unnatural on me, yet officially i am no way near size zero.
Of course in general it’s wrong to comment on anyone’s weight, but think for skinny girls there is another factor: skinny is usually considered good and when a small girl complains about being judged for her weight, people tend to ‘uhmm, you shouldn’t complain, you could be a model’. With that they basically say: it’s ok to judge you, because you have it good: you are skinny and that’s what people want. Basically: STFU.
I experience the same when complaining about my boobs (they are big, heavy and I would love to look cute in a top without ‘overspilling’ xD). People also tend to say: ‘Well, most people get surgery to get boobs like yours’ Also basically: STFU, you have what everyone wants.
It’s generally not accepting to complain about something that ‘everyone wants’/the beauty standard.
“Too skinny makes you feel as if you are not sexual”
Being called too fat makes you feel the same way.
sorry, didn’t mean to comment here.
Preach.
No way “skinny” is equally offensive as “fat”. No way. Wait, wait, why are we all listening to a teenager?
LOL!!!
Well, the thing is, we’re not really.
I doubt this is what Kendall thinks and came up with. She has been briefed and trained by her momanager and knows exactly how to get people talking… and please, who believes she really does ‘her own thing?’
Skinny is not equivalent to fat simply because of society sees skinny as a positive attribute while fat is mostly talked about in negative terms.
All the things that scars us emotionally in our adulthood comes from childhood and early adulthood. So you cannot discredit her feelings as invalid because our ealy traumas are what disfigure us as adults.
Thank you! Why are we listening to a teenager? With little or no life experience…
OBVS! I’m sure there’s a few people out there who needed to gain weight and felt “unsexy” when someone called them “too thin”….but any moron knows that in this world, skinny is better. Kartrashians know this better than anybody! Barf.
All this “too skinny is the same as too fat!!” press is just giving her more airtime. Barf twice.
We’re listening to a teenager because, like it or not, teens are just as affected by societal and cultural biases and bogotry as adults are. It wasn’t so long ago that I was her age, so I don’t see her being under 18 as automatic grounds for dismissing her opinion.
How so? I have been called too skinny all of my life, and I wear baggy clothes and layers to try to compensate. I never show my legs, and I wear padded bras and sleeves to cover up my arms. Throughout the years, especially high school and college, mean girls accused me of having an eating disorder, and I was that “anorexic chic.” When you’re thin, and people accuse you of having a mental illness all the freaking time, I assure you it can be very bad. And people don’t shy away from picking on the skinny girls about their bodies. They don’t hold back like they do about fat girls. They’ll just look you in the eye and tell you that they can see your ribs and that’s “soooo gross!!”
Being too thin can be awful.
I think I can understand what Kendall might be getting at (but perhaps didn’t fully explain in an interview blurb). Sometimes when women say things like “real women have curves” or “men love something to hold on to” or “eat a sandwich” etc etc, that can be just as hurtful to a skinny person. Basically the same way “fat” women are made to feel less “woman” by being told they are too big or unhealthy to be looked at/admired, “skinny” women are also made to feel too unfeminine/unhealthy/unattractive to be looked at/admired.
And the same way some people will throw shade at a fat person as having brought this upon themselves and being lazy, skinny women will be assumed to be anorexic/never eat etc. I have friends who have been skinny their whole lives and people actually do say things like “are you anorexic?” Or “eat a burger” to them. And make snide comments about how “real women have boobs/butt etc.” it’s hurtful.
True.
Yes she is very young, but does that mean her opinion isn’t valid. As thin person myself I have always taken offense to people calling me skinny. It was very hurtful as teenager and I didn’t come to accept and embrace it until I was in my 30’s when my classmates else started to appear over weight. I don’t have low self esteem and I am a happy and well adjusted person. I say that to say this, getting teased for being fat or skinny is wrong either way. I can’t imagine that being called fat hurts any more than being skinny because teasing period is hurtful.
Yes, teasing is always hurtful and insulting. And yes, people can go way too far with it. I think the main difference though, between calling someone fat vs. skinny, especially in the US, is that skinny is modeled, admired, aspired to by celebrities and our society as a whole (as much as that is not an accurate representation of the general American public at this point). The same is not true for fatness and I can’t really feel that bad for a thin girl who is on magazine covers, in large part because of that thinness. I don’t see any chunky 17 year olds on magazine covers and that just illustrates my point.
Too true Jenny, too true.
Slimness is admired to the point people will die for it.
Bullying is terrible but society as a whole bullies fat people much more than skinny ones. There are many more jokes at the expense of fat people’s feelings than skinny ones. Society consistently sends a negative message to overweight people and is much more accepting of skinniness. Think about celebrities, how many are overweight? And of those how many are comedians?
In high school, girls made fun of my size 00 sister, who was naturally thin. I had an athletic build, so people assumed she had an eating disorder. They bullied her, pushed her, and made snatky comments like, eat a burger or five or why are you so thin? Don’t you eat? What’s wrong with you? She wore two pairs of sweatpants under size 1 jeans so people would leave her alone. She cried at home. She is 28, and she is very sensitive to it even though she is a lovely 5’2, and size 3. Commenting on someone’s weight thin or fat is wrong. Unless people who wear inappropriate clothes that don’t fit– comment on the clothes, not the weight.
Just wanted to share how commenting on thinness CAN be as hurtful as commenting on those with more weight. 🙂
I, too, am very sensitive about my weight, and I’m skinny. This is why I don’t make fun of women who are heavier and this is also why I don’t really like to talk about the topic of weight.
You know what does curvy mean anyway I was looking up a study and it saud only three percent of women on the planet have a curvy build. Another three percent are v shaped which is the model type. The rest of bodies are beautiful and eclectic. I dont undertand why girls need to be curvy or ‘anorexic’ no inbetweeners. The majority of women who talk about their bodies being curvy are women with narrow upper bodies not that its not beautiful bht not everyone on the planet has a hip to waist ratio thats perfect. Curvy is overused overused overused
It is the same if the tone is accusatory.Many skinny people don’t want to be skinny.In my family it is more insulting than being called.
“Too skinny makes you feel as if you are not sexual, you look strange, so thin, so gross, bones, nothing appealing about your body”
Yes, lets’ not forget the ever popular “guys only date you because secretly they want to be with another guy.”
There’s a difference between being called skinny and too skinny. The latter is meant negatively, as if you’re anorexic or diseased. I have been called too skinny before and found it very insulting.
Also, the title of this post misquotes her in a fashion to elicit negative comments from readers who comment without reading the article. I am absolutely not a Kardashian fan and even I find this a bit unfair.
Throughout my childhood into my thirties I was stick-thin, and I was never anorexic or bulimic. I just had a small appetite and a metabolism that was off the charts. I had to eat like a Percheron just to maintain what little weight I had. I’m 5’6″ and weighed 107 lbs. Once in a while somebody (invariably overweight) would toss me some snide remark about “When were you a POW?” but I have to be honest — I never caught the same kind of flack for being thin as overweight girls caught for being fat. Society accepts thinness as desirable (“You can never be too rich or too thin”) but condemns fat as gross.
Teenagers are especially sensitive to their body image so any kind of body-shaming can be devastating at that age.
Gorgeous!
I’ve always had a thin frame. Always. I’ve never struggled with my weight, I’ve always been told “omg! you’re so skinny!” “you could wear a burlap sack and look good” “look at those long, skinny legs”…but I’ve also been told “you’re so thin…like…anorexic-thin”…when I have truly never had an issue with food.
I happened to have been raised on a very healthy diet and I have carried that with me into adulthood (and I happen to like healthy food), as well as having the genes of two relatively thin families. I don’t exercise as much as I should, but I am still thin.
Thin comments throughout my life have caused me to think ‘If I’m NOT thin, what will people say? If I gain one pound and it’s noticeable, people will have something to say about it, they’ll see me as messy, or “she let herself go”…so there is an unspoken pressure to remain as thin and I’ve always been.
It doesn’t feel good to have someone say you’re ‘anorexic-thin’, when you have never had an eating disorder, and even if you did have one, you don’t want people saying that to you. It can make girls feel like if they’re not thin, nobody is going to compliment them, or if they gained some curves, people would say ‘oh, she USED to be so thin’…
However, I do not think calling someone fat is the same as calling someone skinny, even if you say they’re ‘too skinny’…this girl is
a. a kardashian, so shes rich, shes never wanted for anything in her life and she never will
b. is 17, so most of the things that are going to come out of her mouth she won’t even believe herself in the next few years
c. she has a very young and skewed view of the world and the way the world sees people, so things she said should just be brushed off/ignored…
I don’t think age precludes you understanding if something said hurts you. Talk to children that have been verbally abused. It last for a life time.
and I may not like her family but because she is a member of her family again does not make what she is saying invalid.
Regardless of your body type. If people are forever talking about how thin you are or calling you anorexic; how do you imagine for them it is less hurtful then someone being called fat?
why should her opinion be ignored just b/c she’s 17? everyone has the right to an opinion, even at 17. And i’m sure it is hurtful to be called too skinny. I had a friend that people thought was anorexic b/c she was so skinny, i don’t think she enjoyed it.
just b/c someone comes from a wealthy family, it doesn’t mean they don’t have problems.
I personally have had hard times with my skinny body, I was constantly being picked on and called stick or bag of bones, it was a real hard time and my dream was to have just a bit of more flesh and curves so I was eating only fat-calories things, ice cream, heavy creamed dishes, fast food etc… nothing changed except sitting my a$$ on the toilet for hours, my stomach digestion was just on point and not having it LOL! So I realized that’s just the way it is, I’m naturally skinny no matter what, and I gradually came to accept my body that way…
That said, I believe it has to do with the mind conditioned, for some the whole “thin” is seen as beautiful and acceptable, which is indeed unfair as not all women are built the same shape and size so let them be…
Kim is “too fat” and Kendall is “too skinny.” I swear, women can’t win. It’s genetics, people. Kendall is tall and lanky and will probably always run thinner. Kim is short and curvy and will always be that way. Just as my former trainer explained that I would never have shapely calves even though I worked them all the time, because genetics call the shots a lot of the time! Lol (Hence, why I covet Duchess Kate’s calves and *gulp* I’ll admit it, Goopy’s calves. Mine just go straight up and down. There’s no “ball” there. Lol)
Word. Women can’t win, whatever they do, whatever they look like.
I think it would be best to just effin’ stop discussing women’s bodies in terms of weight. I would never tell someone to their face that I think they’re fat or skinny or “too” anything.
A compliment is a different matter. But does it have to be about weight? If you think someone looks good because they’re slim or curvy, just say “You look great!” No reason, no pointing anything out. Done. Where the heck is the problem with that?
I’ve been called fat numerous times during my adolescence and have always struggled with my weight until I finally go my sh*t together and realized that I will never be thin. ALL women on both sides of my family are quite curvy and I would have to go to extremes to beat those genetics. I exercise, I eat right, I’m at a normal weight but that little voice that tells I’m fat will probably never go away.
I imagine it’s the same for very skinny girls who were insulted when they were young. I would never tell someone “Oh my God, you’re so skinny, you look great.” You never know if the comment is well-received.
Having said that, from a sociological point of view, there is a difference between calling someone fat or skinny. Fat comes with mostly negative associations and please, as if “Oh you’re so fat, that’s great!” will ever be uttered outside of a fetish situation.
Skinny is socially acceptable, despite possible negative comments. Skinny can have negative but also very very positive connotations so no, it’s not exactly the same on a social level.
I feel passionate about this because it is another way that women rag on other women. I have a niece that is 20 now. She and her older sister have always been thin. Got it from my brother. They have his body build. Tall and thin both girls are over 5’10. They could both be models. Legs that go on forever. My younger niece has always wanted to be heavier. That child eats like a truck driver and always has. But she is and was still thin. It is genes. Not an eating disorder. Genetics determines so much. I just find it so terrible that every woman that is thin is called anorexic or that she has an eating disorder. When did we all become the same. I just think that now it has become the trend to attack women that are thin and talk about how great it is that so and so has a “real body” WTH does that mean I don’t know. A thin body is real if it is your body type. But now it is the trend to rag on the skinny and not call women larger fat. Now we say curvy or full figured. OK.. but attacking women for being thin is as she pointed out the exact same thing.
I understand because my niece wanted to be heavier because girls that were bigger would call her skinny. I think because they were insecure. She has grown up and got past it. And is as she always was a beautiful young woman. Regardless of her size.
Thank you! I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt to be called fat – of COURSE it does – but people have to understand that being called too thin or anorexic when its your natural body type is just as hurtful. I remember in college girls in my sorority would ask my friend if I had a “problem” and she would tell me what they were saying and it’s REALLY upsetting. I eat just as much as everyone else!
+1
When I was skinny, I was bullied all the time. I had tons of nicknames and people asked me if I was sick, if I did not eat, etc.
I would pray everyday to put on weight. Finally, my wish came true and I put a good 20-30 pounds on me. The same people who bullied me for being skinny, laughed at me for putting on weight.
Moral of the story: people will judge you no matter what.
She is the least “Kardashian” of the klan and I hope she stays that way.
THIS
also, she’s the real model not kylie. kris needs to stop trying to sell them as a “pair”.
Because she’s not a Kardashian at all, she’s a Jenner or a Jenner-Houghton.
Your title is misleading. She isn’t saying calling someone skinny is insulting, she says calling someone “too skinny” is insulting. People would never walk up to someone and say “woah, you are too fat” but I’ve had people walk up to me and say “you’re too skinny” and believe me, that IS rude!
I had to make sure the title would fit on the front page, so leaving that “too” out of the quote (for the title only) was a necessary evil.
Yes people absolutely do tell people they are too fat. Instead of saying eat a burger, people moo like a cow, or some other nonsense. I saw kids in grade school take an ice cream wrapper out of the trash and chide the chubby girl who was eating it with calorie and fat content. Maybe it is because I am from NYC, but I never saw people getting made fun of for being too thin. I think especially for teens, very thin is a natural body type for many and a look that is embraced by our society. Fat is not a look that is embraced by our society.
I know it is not the most apt analogy, but I keep being drawn back to the idea that it is ok for black comedians to make white jokes, but not ok for white comedians to make black jokes. Just like skinny and fat, or black and white, one of those groups clearly has more clout and capital in our society. I think you have to put that into your perspective if you try to compare insults to the weight of skinny and fat women.
Really? I’ve never seen anyone comment on someone who is overweight unless they just didn’t like them and purposely wanted to hurt their feelings. It’s known that being called fat is an insult so no one ever goes up to a person to try to “help” them by pointing out that they’re overweight and should eat less. I’ve had numerous people gang up on me in school to ask if I was anorexic and look at me with disgust because of something I couldn’t help. They thought they were helping me with my nonexistent eating disorder but they were really making me feel inadequate and worthless. This happened to me almost daily & I was teased by children as well as adults. I’m not saying that being called too skinny is worse than being called fat, I’m just saying it can be just as bad.
Jenny – I read all your comments on this thread. And I completely agree with your train of thought. To me, it’s the same as being bullied/picked on for being fair-skinned (which I am). The American culture idealizes tanner skin, so when someone complains about my “pastiness” I see that as an insult bc it’s not seen as the ideal beauty. The ideal American beauty is skinny and tan..so being “picked on” for being skinny or tan just doesn’t really equate (in my mind) to being picked on for being fat or pale.
In other areas right now, like the Asian countries, pale skin is the beauty trend – they buy products to lighten their skin as much as possible – so I would imagine having dark skin there is something people look down upon. Maybe I should move to that part of the world 😉
Someone walked up to me and called me a fat ass last week completely out of the blue, and that isn’t the first time it has happened. So yes, people do walk up to other people and call them fat.
Yes, a total stranger came up to me the other week and said “out my way fatty”. So it does happen and it is hurtful and unconstructive. I imagine it is as bad to be called too skinny, I probably won’t find out though.
Has happened to me too, and I usually respond with: “I can lose weight, but you’ll always be an ignorant a$$hole.” Or, if my kids are with me (which just makes the person’s insult all the more classy!), I say loudly: “Kids, is it nice to call people names?” “No, Mommy, it’s mean!” “And if we need someone to move over out of our way, what should we say?” “We should say ‘Excuse me, may I get by?’ and then wait.” It’s gotten me some middle-fingers from the person who initially called me whatever name, but it also has gotten them chewed out by other people around me & my kids…and people find it humorous when my kids (4 & 8) know how to act and an adult doesn’t.
Yes. People tell you if you’re too fat. People make jokes. I’m not sure why ”too skinny” people think this only happens to them.
Anyone making a negative comment about your appearance is hurtful, but I’ve gotta say, there is no way skinny people are picked on or commented to MORE than fat people.
And while either extreme is difficult and people can be rude to both, it’s not to hard to look at the media, fashion, etc, and see that one extreme is more socially acceptable than the other.
She is such a pretty girl! Hopefully her crazy mother doesn’t warp her too much. I’ve been skinny (not to often usually when I’m sick) lol! And I’ve been called fat, but I think if someone tells you something negative about urself it’s going to bother you regardless if ur fat or skinny.
I have always been tall and thin, over 5’10. I then lost even more weight briefly due to a thyroid issue. I tried to keep it private, dealing w doctors and a nutritionist, but I would have a big wig (female) at my firm call out my weight loss and that I was too skinny during staff meetings with 20 coworkers. It made me feel horrible, low self esteem during a tough time in my health. I did think imagine if I called out someone in the room for being too fat or weight gain?
I hope you reported that woman for harassment. Weight is a very sensitive issue that doesn’t belong to be brought up in staff meetings. Wow, your experience really pissed me off. I’m sorry you went through that.
Here we go with another spawn of Kris Jenner.I am not going to pick on a teenage girl because she just doesn’t have any real knowledge of life yet.I am a 49 year old woman who has alway’s had weight issues.There is no way that being called too skinny is the same as being called fat.I have been both.Being overweight screwed with my emotion’s and self esteem,I was the victim of CONSTANT bulling and constant criticism which left me anxiety ridden and depressed,I wanted to end my life when I was twelve but didn’t know how so I started killing myself as I got older with drug;s and alcohol and I could go on and on.I wish I had a dollar for overtime I heard you have such a pretty face if only you lost some weight.Well I alway’s knew I was beautiful inside and out so one day I decided I didn’t want to battle with this demon anymore.I got a lapband and have lost 150 pounds almost three year’s ago.It has not been easy what so ever but I had to make a choice.In the last 6 months I have had the skin taken off my arm’s,breast’s and the skirt skin off my stomach just so I could look normal.
So I am sorry little girl it is just not the same.It is a life of pain and hurt.Sorry for my long post but I had to vent.
I am also sorry you went through that, but I don’t think it’s fair for you to disregard the feelings and experiences of others just because they aren’t in line with what YOU experienced. If it hurts, it hurts, nd it’s wrong. Period.
And no Danilakes I am not disregarding anyone’s feeling’s at all.They are body issues yes but at seventeen I was scared to death of going to gym because of all the name calling that would lead to a anxiety attack and not posing for a fashion magazine.Somehow I think her day was better then mine.
Do you think racism is worse than sexism or anti gay bigotry? I don’t.You act like your pain is worse than a naturally thin person being bullied,beaten,cursed out..etc because they are too skinny.To me thats comparable to a person saying its worse to be called a cu#t than a f#g or ni##er.No all those words are hateful and degrading.Dont negate or minimize someone else’s pain.
No Kim, but I do think it is worse for a white person to call a black person the N word than for a black person to call a white person ofay or cracker and I think that is more comparable to what we are talking about here. Both are hurtful, neither is ok, but one IS worse because of social and/or historical context.
sorry to hear about your troubles. but different people have have different sensitivites and maybe kendall is sensitive to being called too skinny. it might not in your opinion compare to your suffering but it could still bother her.
Sorry it is not the same.The way I am treated now as a thin woman is completely different.There is no comparison.When friend’s and family tell me I am too thin and just laugh it off because I know it’s not true and alway’s remember where I came from.I life that was so full of pain and hurt that there was no happiness.I don’t think this girl will ever know that kind of darkness because people tell her she is to thin.
I understand what Petee is saying and alot of it is valid. The Kardashian is complaining about being called too skinny whilst modelling in a well-known magazine, you know, where they put only “beautiful people”. I’ll bet ya you seldom (if ever) see a fat person modelling in a high end magazine for beauties complaining about being called too fat. Do you know why? Oh, it’s because she’s too fat to be beautiful.
Thank you Tulip Garden.Very well said.
You’re welcome Petee. Hope that your joy and happiness in life multiplies daily. I hope that you don’t waste another second of your life worrying about what others said or might say.
I was always too skinny growing up and comments from people about my weight really hurt me. I’m just a regular woman now with a little bit of a belly roll and when my family points it out, it doesn’t hurt. I kind of laugh it off and I’m actually happy when I reflect at how skinny I was that there would ever be a time when someone would call me fat. I feel happy and normal being called fat, I’m just like everyone else now! Yay! I felt like a freak being too thin. I guess my point is that the reason you think it’s not a big deal being called too skinny is because it’s the opposite of what tormented you through your childhood. It hurts to be judged on your looks no matter what.
It does hurt when people are mean regardless of body type but nothing compares to the societal level of rejection that fat has.
most people dont say skinny they say “you look like a little boy” and that is clearly insulting, they take away all of your femininity.
she is right because models with curves are often called “real women” whereas skinny models are called stick figures or boys.
yes there is a problem with anorexia in
the model business but i always read this about women who are obviously naturally very petite.
read some posts on Michelle Williams or Emma Watson. both are not starving themselves, they are just very petite women.(Williams even got short hair! OMG, another thing a REAL woman would never have…)
why do you think lots of women get boobjobs? because skinny women with little boobs are discriminated against.
THIS. THIS IS WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT ALL THE KATE UPTON POSTS! People start talking about all the ‘little boy framed’ models, how boring/asexual they are, and how they need to grow some curves because real women have them, apparently. Being judged on your body type is hurtful. Period. And for the record, it is much more socially acceptable to say, ‘oh she looks so much better with 5 pounds on her’ (look at any LeAnn or Jolie posts,ever) than say, ‘oh, she needs to lose weight’. That bothers me as well.
+1 to you Maria
I agree with both of you. It is insulting. But in the case of certain celebs, or people that you know really really well, you have plenty of evidence to suggest that they were once healthier. To a person you don’t know, making those sort of comments is terrible, seeing as you can’t know anything about them. Whereas, if it’s a person you know, it’s only natural to show concern when they change that drastically, and in my extensive experience, there has ALWAYS been something going on to trigger it. In that person’s control or not. As far as celebs, I think they bring speculation upon themselves. It’s their job, and they knew it going in. No matter what some people will insist, there was a time that both LeAnn and Jolie looked much healthier. They’ve always been thin, but now they look drastically thinner and there are other signs that point to the same problem. I can’t say that it’s their health or that it’s an eating disorder. I don’t know the cause. But I have two eyes and enough knowledge about nutrition to see a vast difference. Obviously, women feel bad about their bodies enough to get implants. That’s because the current American standard of beauty is someone who is rail thin with huge boobs. It’s messed up, and hard to know exactly who is perpetuating it (aren’t we all on some level???). What’s even more interesting, is that it’s pretty rare to see a woman who is naturally that thin but still has large breasts. That sort of body type is definitely not the norm. But all of us are held to it. I think some people knowingly or unknowingly perpetuate this standard with comments like the ones you’ve mentioned. However, I think others get painted as evil simply because they noticed a person’s declining health, whether that means losing drastic amounts of weight or gaining it, when they really just have concern over a huge change that is almost always indicatory of a health concern. The difference is staggering, and involves one person saying something to a stranger or relative out of pettiness, jealousy or ignorance. The other is a concerned person who wonders about a friend’s health. Or the health of a celeb who obviously looked different just a short while ago. Just my two cents.
women will be judged either way, we are our own worst critics. until a woman becomes comfortable in her own skin, weight or any imperfection we come up with will always be a sore spot.
This!
Word. Twice.
Have to agree with this. How many posters on blogs that cater mostly to women are bashing women who are thin–“Eat a sandwich, too anorexic”, but call a slender, bordering on overly skinny man “slender and sexy”.
Real women come in all sizes and sometimes folks are just skinny and sometimes others are not.
Okay…I understand this. I really do. I’ve made several comments. What I don’t get is why it’s so terrible for some people to notice if you lose a ton of weight and suddenly look ill, or if they notice you ballooning up and also have concern. It’s nice to think that people can’t help the way they look, and yes, most of the time they can’t. But it’s not body shaming to show concern over someone who recently skyrocketed in weight or for someone who whittled away down to nothing. These drastic changes are almost ALWAYS indicatory of a health concern! For someone to notice a celeb who has lost a ton of weight and now looks unhealthy is normal. It means you have sight. I would hope that someone would notice it in me, as they have in the past, if it meant concern for me. I’m not talking about norms here. I’m talking about extremes. Being extremely underweight or extremely overweight isn’t healthy, and someone pointing that out for the right reasons is fine, imo. There’s a difference.
Reading the posts, it just seems wrong to mention anyone’s weight up or down, skin color, hair….. Seriously, we should all zip our lips more. You don’t realize what a person is battling privately!
+1
All this judging about appearance and “details” that sometimes we don’t even have the power to change can be really though. We all do it, but it is good to reflect on the impact that this has in other people and what that really says about us.
About Kendall, I think that if you make a living from solely your body you have to expect that you’re exposing yourself to some criticism and if she wasn’t skinny she wouldn’t get a job as a model, isn’t it?
There is no winning. I’ve been at both ends and you will be judged no matter what. What I’ve learned is its how you carry yourself and the confidence will get you through it.
However this girl is gorgeous and hopefully doesn’t ruin herself with plastic surgery. I’d like her to buck the family trend and stay natural.
Like a few other people commenting, I’ve been called too skinny and too fat. Right now I’m working on losing extra weight and the harassment I sometimes get at the campus gym is ridiculous… so I’d rather be called “too skinny” to be honest, because the comments weren’t as frequent or as vicious. I’ve been called a fat bitch by complete strangers while barely out of earshot.
This. It’s fun to pick on fat people because it’s their fault. I mean, come on, you’re the lazy jackoff that stuck the food in your mouth in the first place! /bitter sarcasm
i think it’s crazy that some people are saying basically that she doesn’t have the right to be upset b/c people call her too skinny. she has the right to feel however she feels. if she was fat and said she didn’t think it was right for people to call her fat, she’d have all kinds of supporters. the same should go for being called too skinny. it’s not a competition, both ways of name calling can hurt.
I don’t think most posters are saying she shouldn’t feel hurt or however she feels. I think they are saying you shouldn’t or can compare insults to fat and skinny women. It is not the same thing.
yeah, it is. either way, they’re saying something’s wrong with you and your body. it’s just marginally more socially acceptable to call someone too skinny, rather than too fat.
It is not really the same thing. Either can be used in a way that is hurtful or insulting, but how can they be just the same when the general connotation of skinny in the US is good, whereas the general connotation of fat is bad. Skinny has social capital in the US so being insulted for being too far towards the “ideal” is not the same as being insulted for being too far away from it.
She has a right to her feelings but she should get some perspective. She needs to spend the day in a fat suit and get a taste of what it’s really like to experience life on the other side of the fence. I guarantee you those “skinny” comments will lose their sting.
I have a very close friend who struggles a lot with her weight… she weighs 100 pounds at 5.5 at her “heaviest”, but usually she’s 90-95 pounds. It is a nightmare for her and she is struggling to eat every day. This is not anorexia, she has been this way all her life. She is extremely hurt when people call her skinny or bag of bones, so yes, it is as bad to call someone skinny as it is to call them fat.
Thank you for supporting your friend. She was me, 30 years ago. I was horribly teased and I still feel the sting of the words even though now I’m a mom.
Ms. Jenner is the reason why I tell all young people to stay in school. A mind is a terrible thing to waste~for real.
Oh Kendall. You are 17 and have a great metabolism. This too shall pass.
Well, I was very skinny most of my life…until about 31. Sure, lots of people would say “You’re so skinny” but it was usually followed by “you’re lucky you can eat what you want and never gain weight”. Fast forward 7 years. I am the heaviest I’ve ever been (still not “fat”, but rather thick with 34DDD boobs and an ass to match). I am having a very hard time losing weight because I have never HAD to watch what I ate before. I am dieting and working out and have been for a year with 0 weight loss. I guess I’ve rambled on here but my point is, being skinny was, FOR ME, much better and I never felt insulted when I was told I was skinny (even though, back then, I would have loved bigger boobs. Now I’d love to give them away)
Picking on someone for being “fat” and saying “real women have curves” BOTH do the same thing – reduce people to the shape of their bodies. Real thighs, real tits…what’s unreal then? People come in all shapes and sizes. There isn’t one body type that’s real and others not. And just because she is 17 and a model doesn’t mean her opinions aren’t valid. If she were older and say, an academic, would we take her more seriously?
IMO, the “real women have curves” campaign was started because of the backlash that moderate to heavy women have been receiving since the American standard of beauty turned from being plump (meaning you were wealthy and well-fed) to being very very thin. I think most posters and people can understand that there are certainly naturally very thin women out there, but since this turning in culture, ALL women are held to that standard. It’s an impossible standard that even with intense manipulation, most women can’t really reach. See: hollywood. I understand perfectly that emotional torment and body shaming is abuse, no matter how it’s done, but I have to agree with a lot of the posters in saying that if you happen to be a part of the “skinny ideal”, it’s likely that it can’t be matched to feeling like a total outcast. All women, all children, all people everywhere are discriminated against. It’s a sad part of human life. But, having been on both ends of this argument, I have to keep echoing what others have said: do you see any magazine spreads that feature heavy women? Or even women who aren’t heavy but aren’t rail thin, either? Isn’t it ironic that even the magazines that DO have to preface their articles and covers with “Plus size!”, “REAL women!”, and “All shapes!”??? It’s insulting, because they’re still refusing to recognize that women are different, and that the difference ISN’T insulting. So much so that they have to point it out to us instead of just featuring it like it’s normal. It’s weird.
The thing is… being fat is always an insult but being called skinny is only an insult depending on the context. In the context this kid was talking about it was an insult because people were implying that she starves herself or she has some sort of disorder when its not the case. So in this sense I agree with her statement. And better yet… I wouldn’t want to be “skinny” in the context that she describes. I’d be upset if I couldn’t gain weight despite any efforts. By comparison, its relatively easy to lose weight.
Relatively easy for who??? If it is so “easy” why are there such a staggering number of overweight people in the US. In fact, much of the diet common in the US today is addictive and makes it ever harder to avoid bad foods and lose weight.
@yeahright- by George, that’s it!
Currently, in America, “Skinny” and “Too Skinny” are two different things. “Too Skinny” is hurtful, because it implies a social preference and standard, which the recipient of the insult has not met.
“Fat” and “Too Fat” are the same thing, carry the same social stigma, judgment, and (sometimes) misplaced blame for failing to meet that same social preference and standard.
Totally agree! You explained it much more eloquently than I did.
Jenny – it is relatively easy to lose weight unless you have a thyroid condition that makes it a lot more difficult. The reason why there are so many overweight people is because they aren’t taking the correct measures to not be overweight. Its that simple.
I also said by comparison it is easier to lose weight when overweight than it is to gain weight when underweight.
I think both are very similar. Are you really telling me that if a person took protein shakes 2 or 3 times daily and did weight lifting and cardiovascular exercises they would not be able to add healthy lean mass just as easily? It is the same thing as losing weight! There are specific prescriptions for diet and exercise that can change most anyone’s body as long as they are committed to it. Your explanation of one being far easier than the other just doesn’t make any sense to me.
I was agreeing with you until you said “it’s relatively easy to lose weight.” People like to think losing weight is as simple as eat less and move more. It’s not. It takes a LONG time and a lot of effort to lose weight simply because you have to learn what works for your body. You have to learn what to eat, what not to eat, when you should eat, what exercises work for you, when to do your exercises, etc. It takes even longer for the results to start showing up. If I had choose, I’d rather have to gain weight rather than lose it.
Yeahright, I was reading some articles on the finanical incentives that are being given by employers and health plans for weight loss. What they are finding is that it is NOT always as simple as eating right and working out. For some people that will make the scale move, but some people can do those things and they barely lose any weight.
I think our culture has some very unhealthy habits, no doubt. Many people who are overweight add to it with their choices. But at the same time, there isn’t one simple answer to health.
I understand what she is saying. I have been a dancer all my life, so I am extremely skinny, especially in high school. People would tell me all the time I needed to eat more. It made me very self conscious. It hurt my feelings a lot too because people could take it even further telling me I looked like I had a coke addiction. I think calling someone fat is taboo (which it should be… that is really rude), but calling someone skinny is acceptable. They are both hurtful.
yeah really it`s not the same. being called skinny does not have the same negative connotations as being called fat does.
Thank you.Very true.The damage that is done is completely different.
I have been accused and assumed to have an eating disorder my entire life. Practically everyone I meet assumes I have a mental illness. Believe me, it’s not fun, I wish it on no one, and it has screwed me up in a lot of ways. What do you know about the damage done? That’s such an ignorant assumption.
To the person hearing the skinny remarks there is no difference. You can’t say how others feel.
Exactly! I’m surprised at the number of persons here, some of whom I consider to be usually reasonable, empathetic commenters saying that it couldn’t possibly be worse to be called too skinny than too fat and that women who are derided for being too skinny should ‘suck it up’ because hey, American society prefers skinny to fat anyway. Skinny bitch, beanpole, toothpick, fattie boomblatty, roly-poly, Shamu. These are all insults. Being insulted because of the way you look hurts period! I don’t care who you are or if you’re rich or poor.
I bet it hasn’t happened to you. I used to be so skinny when I was younger, my mother took me to the doctor because I would eat a ton and never gain weight. I was mortified when people accused me of being anorexic or looking sickly ALL OF THE TIME. Trust me it’s just as bad. I was always having to defend myself. Boy did I feel so lucky though once I started to gain enough weight to look thin but not ill and I could eat anything and everything and not gain a pound. I have gained another 10 lbs in the last 10 years but still am squeezing into a size 2. For the first time in my life I have to watch what I eat. It sucks!
Ycnan, would you please explain how you know that? Have you ever been at the other end of the stick? I have been called anorexic all my life and it’s not funny. My husband’s friends used to ask him, when we were in the dating phase, if I had AIDS or if I were on drugs. My sister’s boyfriend is very skinny, naturally, and a neighbor (overweight one) asked my husband if my sister’s boyfriend was on drugs or ill? Not funny at all. I never asked that neighbor why there is no difference in her body whether she is pregnant or not. I never asked her why she is bald. It would be rude and, besides, not my business. How can I be called “the white chick” to my face, but my dad cannot ask for a black coffee at Starbucks without the African American barista asking him with an attitude: “What?” It is bad to make remarks about people no matter which way. I just saw the front page of NY Post this morning: “Can someone please tell Kim K. that she is pregnant?” Front page, people! Let her get dressed whichever way she wants. If you don’t enjoy the view, there are still another 359 directions in which you could look. And no, I am not a KK fan, just a fan of what is wright. Sorry about raving.
Yeah, when I was younger I was called beanpole. I wanted to be shorter because it it. Never bothered about the weight side of that.
I guess really you can`t compare the two. It`s like comparing apples and oranges. But I do think that what this conversion shows is that most women are insecure about some aspects of their bodies and it`s a much bigger discussion than what is worse being called fat or skinny.
I’m with the ‘you can’t win’ gang here. I had a friend who was in the ‘too skinny’ brigade. I was in the ‘too fat’ brigade. We were both equally miserable, but she could wear better clothes then I could.
In our society, too skinny is only marginally more acceptable. But only just. ‘Too fat’ and it’s implied you’re a slob, have no willpower, so on and so on. ‘Too thin’ means you are a sexless drone who ‘took the whole diet thing too far’.
And yeah, that whole ‘real women have curves’ thing is old. It’s understandable where it came from; it’s natural for the social barometer to swing wildly the other way when people are trying to figure out what’s ‘acceptable’. It’s often misguided though, seeing as the aim is still to pigeon-hole people into ‘acceptable’ and ‘not acceptable’. People get messed up in the head trying to fit into the weird ‘just right’ box we have at the moment.
And if this Kendall feels that she’s being constantly criticized for her appearance then that kinda is the same whether it’s ‘too fat’ or ‘too thin’. It’s ‘you’re doing your body wrong, and I know better’ either way.
On the other hand, she may need to learn to take it on the chin seeing as she’s a model and that’s pretty much what happens – as far as I know.
…wow, apologies for all the ‘quote marks’!!
THIS. Exactly this. It puts everything much more eloquently than I’ve been able to.
ALL body snark is awful and problematic. All body shaming is hurtful and only assholes do it. Skinny girls are told they are not ~real women~ all the time. What are we then. The “problem” with being skinny is that overweight girls are going to be extra snarky to you (and to your face) because they feel their own “unfortunate” issues entitles them to do so, because being skinny is “awesome”, it frees your life of all problems, and they’re often very bitter. The meanest comments I ever got about my body when I was younger came from fat girls: “Eat something. Are you anorexic? Why don’t you eat? Look at those bones! Gross! I’d rather be a happy fattie than a skinny person who’s miserable. What man wants a skinny girl?” Excuse me? Who told you I’m miserable? And who told you that some fat people are not miserable?? Even a few months ago a very, very fat friend was giving me crap because I do weightlifting to be toned and have muscle definition after being thin all my life. She was all “Real women~ have to be soft and curvy! Muscles are gross! Only men do weights and have muscles. You’re going to look like a man”. No, I’m not. Men look like men because they produce testosterone. As far as I know I don’t have balls, so I’m not producing any, but thanks! I told her that a woman is not supposed to be anything but healthy and happy with herself. I could’ve been cruel like her, and come back with something nasty like “A woman is supposed to be able to move without shortage of breath and not stuff her face with everything they see.” But I took the high road because I know my body looks GREAT. And hers will never and perhaps that is where she comes from. That doesn’t mean her abuse, as a so called “friend” is not sad and uncalled for. Her bitterness should not be my problem, because while she sits on her couch all day and eats a big pizza and cake all by herself, like I’ve seen her do, I work out and eat healthy. I go jogging. I take care of myself.
People have NO filter when body shaming skinny girls. But you can’t body shame fatties!! That’s just ~mean~. Imagine me going to a fattie and calling her gross like my friend called me for being fit. I would’ve considered a huge bitch! “Stop eating! What if you get diabetes? Look at those rolls. You’re supposed to have only one ass. Do you freebase gravy?” But I have to remain quiet while they abuse me. Because I’m a decent person, and I know my words could hurt her a lot more!
I know that people think that anyone who’s at a disadvantage gets to say more crap, like poor people making fun of rich people is not awful like rich people mocking poor people, but I honestly think that any type of superficial snark talks more about how you feel about yourself than about the person you are mocking. And people tend to say AWFUL things to skinny girls because they think their life is easier by default. It’s stupid. And nobody should be subjected to abuse because you have your own issues.
Sorry Annie, but I don’t think you can claim the high road after that post.
You sound very bitter and I’m glad I’m not one of your friends.
You’re not a decent person because if you were, you wouldn’t be calling women fatties, much less making remarks about how many asses anyone should have or freebasing gravy.
The ONLY difference I can think of between skinny and bigger women is simply that it’s socially accepted for a thin woman to like her body, big women are mocked and ridiculed for embracing their curves.
Body shaming is not a good look, period.
Everything about your post makes me sad because of the perpetual body shaming and obvious distaste you have for women who don’t look like you; I’m genuinely sorry you were harassed for your size, but, if you think anything about what you typed is okay that’s even sadder.
Good Lord you sound just like my sister. She’s very fit (now) and lifts weights too and the whole time she’s bitching about people judging her for her muscles, she’s judging the other people who don’t work out “enough” (hello, you have ALL DAY to work out. some of us have jobs), who don’t work out “right”, who don’t eat the way she does, or don’t fit into her idea of a healthy body.
Oh, and no one likes to be around her, so…..
I get what you’re saying, Annie. Just your delivery didn’t help the message, because in the same breath that you were saying how all body shaming is awful, you started calling people fatties and it took a negative route.
lol! Annie you always make the best points in the worst ways. God love you.
Annie,
Your comment was hurtful, whether you meant it to be or not.
What strikes me most about this thread is that, being slightly overweight my entire life, I have made comments about others being “too skinny.” But I know (for me at least), those comments come from a place of jealousy. I wish my problem was that I was too skinny, instead of the other way around. Whether that’s right or wrong, it is what it is, and if I am being totally honest with myself, that’s the truth. It’s common for us, as humans, to tear each other down to build ourselves up. I am self conscious about my weight, so I have found myself at times snarking about skinny girls to make myself feel better. But the bottom line is: I wish I looked like you. I wish I had #skinnygirlproblems.
I am totally speculating here, but it sounds like your friend may feel the same way. Her comments to you may stem from a place of jealousy, because she is undoubtedly aware that she is overweight, and likely feels shame over it. It’s possible, even probable, that she envies your naturally thin and svelte frame.
However, your comments about her do NOT stem from a place of jealousy. You do NOT wish you looked like her. In fact, you made it obvious that you are disgusted by her. Which make your comments hurtful and mean-spirited.
And that is a huge difference that needs to be recognized. Being skinny is enviable, being fat is not. (blanket generalization there.)
Until women stop snarking on each other’s weights (be it high or low) we will continue to have this stupid discussion of who’s pain is worse, etc etc. Pain is pain and that is that. But let’s not delude ourselves by failing to recognize that in our country, skinny is better than fat (as a GENERALIZATION, not always.)
Annie’s got a point, even though some may find her delivery offensive/politically incorrect. The oppression that overweight or people with visible body fat (especially women) face does not mean we should assume that any woman who looses weight or who is slim has an eating disorder, or that she should not be seen in magazine photoshoots, or in any way shamed for her body.
The sexism, repression, and oppression of slut-shaming doesn’t make it ok to imply that a teenager or adult is a weak, repressed child, prude,freak, or ‘prick-tease’ because that person is still a virgin, they dress very modestly, or because they have less sexual experience.
The historical racism against one group of people in a country (I was going to say African American people, but they are not the only people to face such atrocities and discrimination in this country or any other) does not justify punishment, resentment, an ‘us vs. them mentality’, or any other sort of racism against another group (contrary to the idea that some people on tumblr are inadvertently promoting).
Society needs to learn these lessons.
I understand what Kendall is saying and I agree. I’m 5’10 and weighed about 118 until I turned 30, now I’m 36 and stay around 125. I could not gain weight. High school was terrible and my early 20s.
Pfft, I’m a big girl, I play football, my husband’s a big guy, my dad was 7’1 and 400lbs…
I’d be a fool to say it doesn’t bother me. But after awhile it becomes exhausting.
“Don’t you want to lose weight so you can fit in all the cute clothes?” Nope.
“You know your knees wouldn’t hurt so bad if you were thinner.” Oh, you mean the car crash action of semi-pro tackle football for the last 10 years doesn’t contribute to that. Gotcha.
“You know that ‘real women have curves thing’ is stupid, it’s just fatties trying to feel better about themselves.” Ok.
I’ve been called fat all my life–by parents, by the rest of my family, by co-workers, never mind I can bench close to 180lbs. I’ve just come to accept it. They’ve done experiments to see how fat people are treated vs. thinner people and it’s worse. They get promoted less. They get less help in public when stopping to ask for directions. Being heavy is met with outward and obvious disdain.
So I know it hurts her feelings being called “too skinny” but pardon me if my sadness is only 90% of that as to what heavier people get. Both are damaging but better looking people get better opportunities and being ‘better looking’ is not being fat.
You play football? That is the coolest thing ever!
You go, girl!
http://cfanarchy.com/ it’s great fun! I played JV in HS too…until the coach made it pretty plain I’d never play on varsity because lol-girl-parts. It’s part of the reason why I’ve been more comfortable in my own skin too–it’s one of the few places you can still be feminine and strong and a bit mean and it’s not looked at with disdain.
I thought the same thing when I read that. Go girl!
Monica, you are hilarious. you’ve made me giggle several times today
Kendall, the moment you CHOSE to make showing off your body to the public your career you lost the right to complain about the public commenting on it. You absolutely asked for this.
Oh, and if you weren’t as skinny as you are you certainly wouldn’t be allowed to do a shoot for Harper’s Bazaar either. It’s very much a “No heifers allowed!”-type deal, y’know?
Methinks the “dumbass” gene comes from the Pimp Mama Kris side of the family…
@Tapioca – Pretty much everything you said.
As someone who was always naturally skinny, I can understand where she is coming from. When you’re skinny, usually you have no boobs or butt. Believe me, when I was in high school, I wanted to gain weight and couldn’t. I felt like I was perpetually 12 years old! To complicate things, I was diagnosed with Chron’s disease and lost more weight. I literally had people (strangers!) asking me if I had an eating disorder or telling me to go eat something b/c I didn’t look healthy. I’ve never been called fat, so I don’t know how that feels but I can say that it definitely can be hurtful to be called “too skinny” as well.
I, too, have been called both too skinny and too fat. Too fat definitely hurt more. In our society, being thin is put on a pedastal and basically worshipped. There are slimming pills, ridiculous works out etc. etc. so that people can achieve the ultimate, godly state of THIN. Fat people are seen as lazy and ugly. So I definitely think it’s more insulting to be called fat than skinny, purely because if the way society perceives those two things.
On the one hand, I feel for Kendall in a way. Her older sisters have been ‘slim and curvy’ (obviously not right now- since Kim gained 😮 “20lbs”‘ and Kourtney’s been pregnant and Khloe has fluctuated) which, IMO, is the absolute best and most attractive thing. At a couple of points I have been totally in awe of the shape of Kim’s body (even if it’s fake), it’s what makes her famous. So yeah, maybe Kendall wants some family curves. BUT, she’s also seen them, especially Khloe, have to defend their weight a LOT, and they’re the faces of bloody slimming pills.
At the end of the day, Kendall should probably get over it. She wants to be a model, and she’s naturally thin. If she gained a ton of weight, she wouldn’t get work (well, she would- Kris would makensuremof that). And if she wasn’t naturally thin she’d have to starve herself like some other girls do to be a model. So be grateful! Oh my, what an essay I’ve just written.
This!
Hot
To Tessa yes I do know because I have been both.And believe me it does not hurt my feeling’s what so ever to be told I am to thin.
Come to think of it, how many of our problems would be solved if friends and strangers learnt the art of tact?
It’s the same when you read about childless women, who get asked rude personal questions from strangers.
Instead of defending anything, I think it would be better to politely but firmly point out “Don’t you think it’s a bit tactless, rude and arrogant to be asking me such a personal question / giving me unwarranted advice?”
A guy at a construction company that I worked for did that to me once and although I don’t remember the topic I do remember looking them dead in the eye and saying, “I didn’t realize that we knew each other that well.” Believe me, he found a reason to get the heck out of the office real quick and had no comeback.
😀 Awesome!!
Thanks:)
BTW, that phrase is so useful because it is exactly on point. Maybe, “And you think you no me well enough to say this because….” would work as well. No one should discuss/comment on intimate matters (weight, fertility, parenting, ad nauseum) unless they are on intimate terms with you (partner, friend, etc.).
I DETEST concern-trolling. Besides, if a loved one is concerned even they aren’t allowed to start a conversation with “eat a sandwich” or “put down that french fry”.
Agree. Unsolicited opinion/advice is a true sign that people do not care about you, besides lack of basic manners. ´I did not ask for your opinion` etc, should be the only response to witless people.
Thank you ladies for voicing out some of the issues that ‘skinny’ women have. My relatives have told me that no one would marry me because I am too ‘skinny’.. yes, it hurts. Especially comments like “real women have curves”, popularized by Oprah watching mini Van owners, are not the nicest things to hear. It truly does make one feel unattractive and inadequate. Models can get away with being ‘skinny’ because that’s what their job requires… but the rest of us sometimes don’t get off so easy.
As for her age, well, she feels what she feels.. I have felt that way since I was 10.. my feelings were not invalid just because I was young.
I hate, hate, hate, hate with a passion the ‘real women have curves’ brigade. Like, really? Last time I checked, having a vagina between my legs was enough to earn me the title of ‘woman’. It’s a totally disgusting attitude.
I’m no proponent of it and I can understand why that phrase would make people upset, but I don’t think that idea started out to body shame thin women, I think it was meant to help big women embrace their figures (somewhat in response to the popularity of waify, Kate Moss type models). Sometimes I think it can be a fine line between being proud of what you’re working with and insulting people who look different from you. It’s nice to see thin women sticking up for themselves and their feelings in these comments (and I can be as guilty of it as anyone else), but I think we work to hard to compare things to make them better than or worse than, etc.
Aw Sam, I feel ya. I do. But don’t you know that the definition of a “real” woman is one whose vagina and/or belly has graced this world with a child? No? Surely you’re aware that this is what makes a woman “real”,motherhood.
*Note: Adoption is acceptable also.
I have been called skinny, string bean, toothpick, anorexic etc. all my life or at least as early as I can remember.
It is insulting and I developed a bad body concept because of this. I felt less womanly. I wanted breast implants at a young age because of this.
I agree that people that still continue to call me skinny as an adult don’t feel they are insulting me but it hurts because I have literally heard it since the age of five in a negative way.
I work as a nurse and during my work day, my weight gets mentioned at least ten times daily and usually more. It gets old. It’s a personal subject, not to be blurted out in a work environment several times during a day. But if I respond that I don’t like the term, people get angry at me so I just let it go. But yeah, it sucks.
By the way, I have been given the nickname of Slim and now it has spread through the hospital. I would prefer to be called by my name. I don’t know how it will affect job advancement. Something to think about.
Hi Dani, why don’t you stop responding to “Slim” and ask them to use your name? And be very assertive and firm about that? Or even put them in their spot so they learn? And all the best for your career.
As for the other people who are called fat or skinny, just don’t listen to that crap, do your best and just don’t care about what they say. Just focus on your well-being, physically and mentally. Don’t give them satisfaction. And btw, if I were ever told I had an Eating Disorder, I would tell that person they were rude – straight to their face, and also tell them they should actually educate themselves on EDs before talking about that topic. It’s unbelievable how rude people are at times, but anyways, IMO they are insecure themselves.
no pun re: my love for japanese
I’ve never heard of anyone being slim almost killing their self, when someone told them they were “too slim”..
I was the opposite end of the spectrum, I almost killed myself because people always told me I was “too fat”
I was just about to go over to the other side, limiting food in take, overexcercising and my next step would have been purging. I was surrounded by women that were doing it and we all kept hearing “are you gaining weight?”
I was very close to doing some serious damage to my body…being teased and called fat all of your life–is deadly to me.
The next time a skinny girl gets unsolicited advise to eat a sandwich must reply back saying that the advisor should “stop eating!”…. Believe me most prefer thin women rather than elephants(new word is CURVY….lol)
When it comes to weight and body fetishism of this day and age and body shaming as a result I wonder how much of it is nature vs nurture.
I remember a while ago there was a post about the guy from Esquire who rightfully got bashed by justifying sexual objectification of women but he also “said the women’s magazine industry and advertising targeting women were primarily responsible for perpetuating stereotyped and negative images of women” and he was right when it comes to this point.
A lot of advertising targeting women not only sexually objectify women but also are aiming at the insecurities of women while at the same time promising that the advertised product will help you improve yourself. See Victoria´s Secret or Helena Christensen´s ad for Rebook Easy Tone
http://thatssofetch.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a5691bb9970b013480e8b25d970c-600wi
The message “you are beautiful the way you are” won´t sell anything because advertising is about creating desire and an awareness of lack.
The entertainment industry is responsible for creating idols to project your own ideals of yourself into them. How many times are women´s bodies discussed negatively in the media, “actress x has lost/gained too much weight, she is no longer attractive(!)” you rarely see actors getting the same criticism unless it is extreme, it all serves the patriachalic paradigm that the legitimation of existence of women is to please men including their appearance.
Off-topic…Kendall looks so much like Khloe in the face, I’ve always thought that Bruce Jenner must be Khloe’s father
I was just thinking that they have almost the exact same face! Hard to believe it if they really don’t have the same dad. Maybe Kendall’s real dad is actually that hairdresser that looks exactly like Khloe and people assume is Khloe’s dad. It would not surprise me given the similarities in all of their looks.
Well I better believe what this little girl says because she has all that life experience…oh wait she is like 15. She needs to shut her mouth. But nice to see that Kris is selling the Jenner girls now. God Kris is horrible as a person and even worse as a mother.
Leggy!
i’m not saying that everyone doesn’t have the right to feel bad about whatever makes them feel bad, but i’ve been slightly overweight and way too thin it is annoying to have everyone freaking out over your thinness, it is far worse to be completely invisible to their world because of your fatness. the difference is that skinny women still get plenty of attention, even if it’s negative, while overweight women are simply ignored, or are met with disgust and open ridicule as though she is not human. Also, just about any man on the street will pick the skinny one over the fat woman every single time, so there’s that. I feel bad for ANYONE who is being ridiculed or teased to the point of feeling bad, but overall I don’t really feel bad for skinny people, no.
I had a couple friends who couldn’t gain weight
They hated it. They were body shamed, constantly told to eat more and always had gossip going around about eating disorders. It was really hurtful for them
@lisa2. Well said!
oh sweety… safety in numbers. Your sister Kimmy is a ‘skinny’ 140 pd ‘prosthetic/pregnant’ woman….
wipe your tears w/ $1,000 dollar bills (but don’t let kimmy dip them in ranch sauce)
I didn’t break 100 lbs until I was a sophomore in college. I was naturally thin/underweight, with legs and arms like toothpicks, and no breasts to speak of. In elementary school, my nickname on the bus was “Skeletor”. “Bony Butt” followed me for years. Girls who saw me change for gym said I was “all nipple, no boob”. I was accused of having eating disorders and told I looked horrible. This was in the 70s and early 80s. As an adult, I have filled out, but I remember crying crying crying after school and dreading that bus ride home.
Before that, when my father (who was also naturally thin and underweight) was in school in the 40s and 50s, he was teased so mercilessly about his body that TO THIS DAY, he does not wear short sleeves and he is almost 80.
My daughter now has my younger build, and she made it to 2nd grade before a boy told her she had “no muscles” and “arms like bones”. Before that, she did the monkeybars, no problem. Now, she avoids trying because she internalized this boy’s words. She thinks I’m the prettiest mommy in the world (awww) and I tell her “you look just like Mommy did, you are perfect and wonderful”. I hope she believes me.
And yes, I have always considered being called “skinny” to be insulting and negative. I say “slender” and “thin” to my daughter. We have lumped “skinny” in with “fat” and “stupid” as bad words in our house.
So, yes, it’s just as bad as being called fat. It’s hard for people on the other side to see it, and maybe they think “if only I had THAT problem, it would be easier than the opposite problem I do have”, but to the young girl or boy being called skinny or boney or Skeletor, it’s bullying and it hurts, just like it hurts to be called fat.
As a kid, I used to get called Grandaddy Long Legs because I reached my full height at a young age and was less than reed thin. It didn’t really bother me as much as it was meant to, although I do admit to being glad when others finally caught up with my height at least.
I constantly get comments about being skinny and it doesn’t hurt my feelings, but it does bother me. Nobody really has any right to comment on anyone else’s weight, no matter fat or skinny. If a bigger person wouldn’t appreciate someone making comments about their weight, then why would a skinny person? It’s just common sense that someone else’s weight isn’t your business, unless of course they’re in danger.
x1000
To Kim I knew someone would bring up racism for some reason but I have experienced that also because I am not white.I am not even going to go there.I am not trying to out do someone else’s pain.I know what my life has been like and what it took to change it.I am now starting to have one at almost 50.There are some other very well written post’s written that explain what I would like to write but I am done here.All I know is I didn’t want to be around at 17 because of what I went through.I have never heard of anyone wanting to end there live’s because they where too thin.
Believe me when I say it happens- despite what you may or may not have heard. It is extremely unfortunate anyone has to deal with being overweight or underweight and both groups can be demoralized and bashed to a point where drastic action is taken.
17 is 17. When she grows up she’ll realize the food party won’t last forever. she doesn’t know enough about life yet to understand what happens to a woman’s body. She’ll fill in a bit one day, maybe alot, maybe a little. she’s just a child. Height is on her side long term, in the moment, she isn’t even a woman yet.
I have trouble believing she’s been called too thin in the modeling industry.
Calling out anyone’s physical appearance without invite is RUDE. plain and simple.
As a person who’s been told she’s “too skinny” her entire life, I can see where Kendall is coming from, however, calling someone “too skinny” is definitely NOT the same as calling someone “too fat.” They’re both hurtful, but they’re definitely not the same. I will give her a pass because she’s still pretty young and we’re not very articulate as teenagers.
Sorry, but fat people are always considered to be lazy and dumb and greedy. It’s not the same thing at all to be called too skinny, you should eat a burger. There is not the same judgment. Yes, I have been both.
I beg to differ–try having people throw out hints or outright accusations of drug usage or eating disorders when you simply are genetically underweight. My father was the same way until he hit his thirties, too.
Well, if when calling a person “fat” implies they’re lazy, greedy with no self control/respect calling a person “too skinny” usually carries the implication that the person is a social deviant – either mentally ill (ie, anorexic), a neurotic control freak, or a drug addict. I don’t see how one is worse that the other? Both are passing judgement on someone else’s body because they don’t fit YOUR standards. I notice calling a woman too skinny usually carries the unwritten subtext “so therefore she’s not one of us, she’s not a person i’d want to hang with”. Hardly a compliment. Also, when someone is called too fat/ whale etc on celeb blogs the majority usually rush to their defense, wheras when someone gets the too skinny snark there is often no defense, it’s like groupthink takes over and everyone agrees and joins in the bitching.
I spent most of my life ‘too fat’ but I disagree and think fat acceptance was detrimental. I honestly didn’t see myself as fat and wish someone had been kind enough to point out how fat I was. Wasn’t until I was going to have to upsize to a 14 that I snapped and figured out that I was supersized. I know I’m in the minority but some ‘unkind’ ‘too fat’ comments would have helped busted me out of serious denial. Weight issues are super personal though so there will never be a one size fits all solution to talking about weight.
I actually kind of agree with her. Recently an old family friend told me that I was ” too skinny”. I felt a bit offended. I think it was more the way she said it though that bothered me.
Dear Kendall, please show me a successful, multimillionaire supermodel who is a size 14. Until then, please be gracious about your figure and the career it is providing for you. If you can’t be gracious, stop talking.
I hated being too skinny personally. I am also not naturally thin. Two times in my life I have been too thin due to chronic illness and no matter how I tried to regain my health or gain weight I couldn’t do it . It was indeed very frustrating. Even worse were the whispers and speculation about it from others both men and women. I love being curvy and was thrilled when I was able to get back to my natural weight. However, this experience gave me insight into the issues that a really thin woman might have. Now I can empathize a bit. it sucks when people speculate that you are on drugs or you must have an eating disorder and you don’t.
It’s true. I used to be naturally underweight no matter what I ate until I reached my mid-to-late thirties. No one ever thought twice of telling me that I was too skinny. It was embarrassing and I now hate looking at pictures of myself from then because I look emaciated. But I honestly did try gaining weight and couldn’t until middle-age hit. No problem then. LOL. Of course, now I can’t eat anything I want whenever I want and I tend to forget that sometimes.
Let me break it down and put my perception of things out there. I am tiny. I have been a 00 my whole life, I have struggled and struggled to gain weight at at 22 years old I’m JUST hitting 98 pounds. I hate when anyone comments on my weight. It’s a very sensitive issue. I’ve had people say I must me one pound, I’ve had people call me a crack head, I’ve had insinuatetions of having Eating Disorders. Its very insulting. I do not find my tiny figure attractive, and while i understand a girl with the opposite problem would have a hard time understanding my issue, my self esteem is very precarious because I feel disgusting being skeletal. Especially with insinuateions of me having an eating disorder. It’s like k not only am I physically repulsive, I’m a wack job with a serious mental issue thanks.
Just out of curiosity, have you seen a nutritionalist? Have you seen a few specialists? It’s quite normal that when you’re young, you can eat and eat and your metabolism will burn it up. However, to be 98 lbs seems a little scary. I guess it depends on your height and your family history, too. If you’re really worried, I’d see someone talented. However, you may have already done this. I’m interested to hear about it, if you care to share.
Normality, I’m almost 28, 103 lbs and 5’6″, completely healthy just got checked, but every year I’m told I’m “underweight” in the work biometrics screening. Everyone has different body types, that’s why not one diet works for everyone.
And just adding, last week in the work lunch room lady asked me if I had an eating disorder! Like seriously?! It bothers me as a skinny girl that I always am told how skinny I am or I need to stand sideways in the shower to get wet. It’s pretty simple, if your feelings are hurt by someone talking about your weight, there’s no need to dismiss someone in a different weight class because you’re doing the same thing back. And I hate it because I know when I eat lunch people look at me to see how much I eat. I eat small portions but honestly I shouldnt be able to get away with what i do eat and i am greatful for my metabolism, but ive tried putting on weight and i just cant. So the scoping my meals and comments about it bother me. I do know its mostly out jealousy but I don’t think that makes it any better. I don’t talk abt other people’s weight, they shouldn’t talk abt mine. If someone’s not happy with their weight they should change it, but that’s not for anyone else to decide.
I hear you, Melissa. And well-meaning advice is just as much a pain in the ass, isn’t it? I used to be glad when I got near 100 lbs. because then people didn’t seem as freaked out. But metabolism will slow down one day and you’ll fill out.
Oh, and in the 9th grade I used to have a teacher that would make fun of me to the class every day when calling roll–“Isn’t she just so fragile looking, class?” Bitch didn’t know I could have picked her and another her size up because despite being underweight, I was healthy and very strong.
I can kind of see where she is coming from except for the fact that she is so young. I have struggled for years with my weight. I have had people make comments to me about how I am too skinny and do I eat? I could eat all the time but, I would be miserable. Some people do not realize how insulting that can be. To me, it “is” the same as someone calling me fat. What most people do not realize is that I suffer from Crohns Disease. I cannot help how thin I am and I would love to weigh more but, my disease will not allow for that. Sometimes when people comment on how thin people are and how they look awful being so skinny, I wonder if they have Crohn’s or some other disease that prevents them from putting on weight. I have come back with “yes, I eat like a horse” and other mean things to people who feel they should tell me I am too thin. I do not feel the need to tell these people that I have something that prevents me from gaining weight. It is not everyone else’s business but, it is sometimes really hurtful. I am sure that most mean well but, it is my body. It makes me feel like a freak sometimes.
I have chron’s as well, I’ve actually had my large intestine removed. I’ve had trouble conceiving since then and have actually had people (who don’t know my medical hx) tell me that it’s because I am too skinny and if I would just gain a few pounds I could get pregnant! They all assume that I have an eating disorder. Pisses me off to no end.
I only have two things to say.
1) I must be missing something because that part of the world is predominantly traditional Muslim and I can’t understand how THOSE pictures would be allowed to be published at all. A traditional Muslim woman would never be allowed show her extremities or wear tight-fitting clothes, and these pictures would be deemed extremely offensive to any traditional Muslim – man or woman.
2) I don’t get why some people are so obsessed with being thin. Her breasts aside, I think Upton is perfect as she is. Like Marilyn Monroe, she is not a petite size and has curves which most men find far sexier than a bag of bones. If someone is too fat, unless they are like Mama June (whom I adore, BTW), then who gets to define “fat”? Most trainers and such will tell you a BMI test is total B.S. because even someone in tip-top shape is considered “obese” by the BMI test standards. So who gets to say?
Good to hear that only most men like curvy women and the few left will have to do for the petite ones, or the bag of bones, as you get to say.
Some men like rolls of fat- chubby chasers ,to each his own
Comments like yours are a perfect example why it can be hurtful for someone to say “you’re too skinny” I guess I should be lucky that I found a man to marry and find me and my bag of bones attractive.
I think it exists a difference between thin and skinny, and thin (with boobs and buut) is what the society (in fact the media) definites as attractive not skinny with no boobs (like me but big boos would look ridiculous on me) and not women who are heavier than their definition of what curves are.
I can just imagine Tyra and the rest of the ANTM crew going apeshit over those photos. She’s got the body and a pretty face, but girl cannot pose to save her life.
I really cannot for the life of me wrap my head around someone who says being called fat is NOT is being called too skinny. In my mind that’s like saying that the suffering that a heavy person endures is more significant and traumitizing. Everyone has their “interpretation” of being persecuted for looking/acting different. Nonetheless, this argument is baseless.
It can be hurtful either way. When I was younger, 12-14, I was pretty skinny and I remember one day I was stretching in class and a girl looked at me and said “Geez, get a stomach!”. By the time I graduated I had put on 20 pounds, and I’m only 5’4″ so that’s a decent amount. Since then I’ve always had a little extra weight – I’m around 155 pounds but I eat healthy and exercise, so I figure that’s just my natural healthy weight. I live in Denver, CO now where people are very healthy and active and most of the girls I see are TINY compared to me. Does it mess with my self-esteem? Sure, but I also realize that I’ve never had trouble getting a date even with the extra weight – or at my heaviest of about 180 lbs – and I’ve embraced my natural curves and body type.
My sister, who’s only 5 ft tall, used to be very thin and was anorexic in high school. Now she’s a lot heavier and she doesn’t eat a lot – it’s a medical condition (hyperthyroidism). It makes her gain weight and she just can’t lose it. Someone driving past her once mooed at her and called her a cow. She cried and cried…point is, it goes both ways – some people are naturally thin, some are naturally heavy, and sometimes it’s a medical condition. So basically if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. You never know what people have been through, if they have a medical condition, or what their self esteem is like.
Um. Since it’s still an American “dream” to be as “skinny” as is humanly possible, I’d say no. Not it’s not the same. The only reason some people get offended when women call other women “TOO skinny” is because said celebrity or woman IS too skinny. I’ve seen it with celebs and I’ve seen it with friends. Someone catches on to the fact that the person has some sort of problem or eating disorder, and because they themselves or their fans can’t take it and can’t admit that something seems off, they get defensive. A friend of mine was outraged when our mutual friend tried to tell her to get help. This mutual friend took one look at my friend and said, “I’ve been through the same thing. It’s not worth it. Treat yourself right and quit throwing up your food.” My friend was incredibly offended, and then several years later she admitted that she was indeed bulimic and that she was finally getting help for it. Again, it’s not body shaming to see someone in obvious crisis and to comment on it. People come in all shapes and sizes, and to be judgmental about that IS wrong, but sometimes you can tell by how sickly a person looks, or by how different they look from the past, that they aren’t well and that they’re purposefully manipulating their bodies. It’s as bad to be in the throes of an eating or drug disorder as it is to be obese. And pointing those things out is delicate, but often necessary. For the record, I do NOT think it ok to judge someone who looks relatively normal-“skinny” or “fat”. But the extremes you see in hollywood or in close friends are going to draw gasps and concern the same way seeing someone go from normal to obese is going to draw the same responses.
I feel like I should clarify somewhat. As a person who once dropped under a hundred pounds due to illness (and whose family and friends staged an intervention for), I can certainly understand that many women, due to one thing or another, can’t control the fact that they drop a lot of weight and sometimes fall into the “underweight” category. Anymore than some women can control the fact that they can’t seem to lose weight, no matter what they try. But as I explained to people closest to me, I was very very ill. And I took necessary steps to correct it, in every way I could. I did eventually level out and get better. Still, I was appreciative that my close friends and family members noticed a difference. I know that it’s natural to say that it isn’t our business if someone looks a certain way, but what I meant to say in my previous comment is that if you have noticed a considerable CHANGE that seems miles away from how a person once was, it’s only natural that you should question it, especially if you care for the person. It’s a different thing entirely to assume away about a person you know nothing about. I’m sorry I didn’t make that distinction in my original comment. 🙁
This girl needs to put on some clothes & get in school! I can’t stand more of this bunch being covered ad nauseum.
This x3 (for the 3 stories, all that is missing is one for Khloe and Rob).
I agree with Kendall on this one. I don’t personally care for her family, but I feel like those women brought that on themselves.
She couldn’t help who she was born to, and while she may experience a life that is different from mine when I was 17, it doesn’t mean that hers is any less of an experience. I can look at someone with millions and think; Oh, they have it so great compared to someone like me, (living paycheck to paycheck) but their problems may be ones that come from having a lot of money, I wouldn’t know.
To diminish her feelings because she is “young” or because of who her family is, is doing a disservice to all women, everywhere. Judging is Judging. And it’s not nice or acceptable at all. Too fat, too skinny, too dark, too light. It’s all wrong. I feel for young girls these days.
My goodness how can you said being criticized for being thin is not the same as being criticized for being overweight. It is all the same body shaming criticism. It makes the person feel bad and people always make assumptions like that person is lazy and overrated or that person is probably bulimic or uses some kind of drug. The fact is we should not comment or judge someone on their weight especially if they didn’t say your opinion or if you do not know them. I think it is hurtful to say that real women have curves because not all women are naturally curvy and I do not think we should force women who are naturally thin to believe that they need to eat more than hat is necessary in order to look like a real woman. The fact is people come in different shapes and sizes. Quite with the criticism it hurt no matter what you are being called. People develop problems and skewed views of their own bodies because people think they have the right to tell them what is normal. There is no normal society may push this idea of what people should look like but it is not realistic which I think most people realize. You cannot look like what society considers beautiful because that in itself is fake and photoshopped perfection. Who gives a damn what the media deems normal or the standard beauty. People just need to stop talking crap about other people’s bodies. Get the body you want and that makes you happy. To me that is all that should matter but yeah people are cruel and they like to pick on people whether they are too big or too thin the fact is insecure people exist and they like to bully people to feel better about themselves. I don’t think that just because if you are bigger and you feel that you are picked on more than the skinnier person, that your pain is greater. Any criticism is hurtful and leaves a lasting mark. We as a people just need to work to get society to realize that there are many different body types and one type should not be the standard. I think as long you are healthy then that is what is most important. Just because someone is thin does not mean they are necessarily healthy same goes for a bigger person. It is all about body types and genetics. Just accept yourself and surround ourself with people who accept you for who you are and just stop all the damn criticism.
I can’t speak for all women but as a young black girl, it can be rough if you are very thin. When it came to the opposite sex I was always labled as pretty but too little. I was overlooked by guys because I wasn’t curvy like my friends. Older women would say things like ”girl you need to eat” which got on my nerves because I ate just like everyone else. Finding Jeans that fit well was impossible 15 yrs ago when I was in highschool. Times have.changed and being a size 2 or 4 has become the standard. Clothes are made so much smaller now. I’m 5’2 and 125lbs and I’m barely a size 6 dress.
Sure Kendall, being called “skinny” is the same as being called “fat” – no doubt all those skinny girls unable to get into plus-sized modelling feel the sting of those words.
She’s a kid, so I’ll give her a break on her naivete – but seriously, her whining about being called skinny, during a interview produced in conjunction with a modelling spread (that many “fat” girls of similar fame would NEVER get by the way), and her utter failure to see the irony in that, is a little rich.
And by the way – when you sell yourself solely on the basis of your looks, you open yourself to criticism of those looks. Don’t like it? Find another way to be relevant.
She has a hard look to her. Also, this is bitchy but I was teased in school for my thinness (don’t turn sideways or you’ll disappear), etc…by girls who were well developed at an early age…all I can say is , I went to my high school reunion and had the last laugh…all the cheerleaders looked awful; I grew INTO my body; they grew OUT OF their bodies!
so it’s okay for you to be bitchy now?
I’ve been skinny all my life. And, too skinny at various points. Yeah, it sucked because I was a gay man who had basic challenges building muscle and, yes, THAT WAS AN ISSUE.
But, I never equated with being called too skinny with being called too fat. Yes, I complained about my body, but it was always in the context of acknowledging that many would love to have my “problem.” One is obviously more difficult to handle than the other.
I still have challenges achieving the body I want, but I notice now that I approach my 40s, being too skinny is a thing of the past. Haven’t been called that in ages. Oh well.
Or she’s as anorexic as they come and the whole “I just have a fast metabolism! Tee hee!” is all an act. I never believe celebs when they chalk up their perfect bodies by genetics, unless they’ve confused the words “genetics” and “diuretics.”
Wow…this thread took on a life of its own. At 180 replies as I type this, it’s got far more comments than any other thread today.
As I’ve read through, the prevailing mood seems to be PAIN. Women are in pain over what other women and men have said about their bodies, and that sucks. 🙁 Now, when you’re a celebrity you kind of sign over the right to not be bodyshamed. That’s the pact you made with the devil, as it were. You live by your appearance, you die by your appearance.
But for all of us private citizens, who are lawyers, graphic designers, teachers, doctors, stay at home moms, students, etc., I assure you: the only person who should really give you their unsolicited opinion about your weight is your doctor. Whether it be the person you’re seeing for a sliding scale fee at your campus health center, or your obgyn because you’re pregnant, or your general physician because you went in for a checkup and your doctor expressed concern about your overweightness or underweightness. These are the only people (medically trained people!) whose opinions matter.*
*the only exception to this I can say is if you are concerned that something’s weight is based on anorexia, bulimia, drug use, or drinking…in which case I think it’s ok to express concern.
Hey guys,
Does anyone know how you can do your hair like that?
I agree with her. Skinny or fat, it’s a description, just like tall and short.
Reading these posts is just making me sad. I just can’t believe calling someone “fatty”, “bag of bones”, or mooing at a complete stranger is how humans have come to treat each other. It’s just…..sad. All around.
I learned early that when people want to put you down, they will zero in on anything “different” from themselves or their ideals. In grade school, one kid with a very serious overbite actually called me (with a much milder one being corrected by braces) “buck-toothed”. It was kind of surreal and an epiphany moment for me…. . But anything was fodder for such insults directed against me and others: developing breasts sooner or later than the “norm”, being under or over “normal weight” (although curiously, anybody can be called fat as an insult even if normal weight), using too many “big words” (I got that one, kill me for being a reader), being interested in the wrong things (I got sneered at because “girls don’t do math and science” throughout my childhood, and my mother worried that I wasn’t normal, too), not wearing exactly the right clothes, not having exactly the right hairstyle (hair too short, too long, too curly, too straight, wrong color, etc.), not having the right kind of lunch, not having the right accent (that was me, we moved around a lot) — and the list goes on and on. The kids who do this to other kids don’t lose the habit of latching on to anything they can to bash other people when they become adults.
Probably the perception that skinny-shaming is less of a problem than fat-shaming is just a matter of the numbers (obviously it hurts equally for the target). Mother Nature wants women to have a good stock of fat reserves – she even keeps us from menstruating if our fat level goes below a certain threshold, and children tend to reach puberty sooner if they are overweight. Americans have increasingly younger children going through puberty most likely for this reason. American kids seem to have more fat on them than in some other areas of the world. A few years ago, I was really surprised when translating clinical trial questionnaires from Europe to see that all of the answers to the question of age of first menstruation were in the 14 to 15 year old range. Even back in the 60s, most of us were hitting that mark by about ten or eleven and even some at nine. In the early times of our species, someone with a natural body type that didn’t store much fat would be at a great disadvantage during the lean times. It’s only later, when the food supply became stable, that they would survive long enough to pass along their genes (yeah, their “skinny genes”….)
From the thin folks perspective, I wonder if it’s worse now because the people who get their major exercise jumping to conclusions have more to work with today: AIDS, drug abuse, anorexia, bulemia, deliberate starving to adjust your natural shape all have enough social stigma attached that the bullies consider it socially acceptable (even desirable) to attack you for it and those are factors that can make someone very thin. There’s also the reaction post-Twiggy against the acceptable body type shifting to something most women can’t (and shouldn’t) achieve. Revenge of the higher BMI crowd, so to speak, and they greatly outnumber the lower BMI folk.
The “skinny” and the “fat” are up against the same survival-promoting mechanism, though: the body resists change, and fat storage as well as metabolic rate are adjustable parameters. So trying to gain weight for a naturally thin person can be as difficult as trying to lose weight for a naturally not-thin person. I would guess that sneaking up on the body is the key for both groups, aiming for a slow readjustment by tweaking food intake and exercise rather than trying for fast results. But various disorders and/or medications can make it even more difficult, sometimes impossible. Maybe we all need to adjust our expectations, both for ourselves and others. The really important thing is to be as fit as you need to be for your life and to be as healthy as possible. The weight charts aren’t a good measure of that.
When I got my first period I was 5’7 and 90lb, and about the same age as my peers (12) yet a chubby girl I knew was 16 so I don’t know about that.
Poor Kendall… If she wasn’t skinny, she wouldn’t be modeling. Boo hoo. It’s not the same. Shut up!
I’ve been called both, and while it isn’t pleasant either way, I must say that being labelled “too fat” was just plain traumatic for me. I was barely 14 years old and my ballet teacher told me in front of everyone I did not fit well with the other girls because I was too chubby and that I needed to lose weight. It was the biggest humiliation of my life and I still feel ashamed thinking about it. Looking back at pictures now, I can tell you that I was a perfectly average-sized teenage girl – only not as thin as the other girls – but I felt I was obese and disgusting. I started eating less and less until I barely ate at all. At that point people started pointing out that I was *too skinny* and loudly asked questions like “do you have an eating disorder?” or saying stuff like “you need to eat more! You’re all bones!”. Well, that wasn’t the best either, it made me feel embarrassed and wrong.
In the end, you shouldn’t express judgement on other people’s bodies, at least not to their faces, because you never know if you’re going to hit a raw nerve.
Very few women are truly ‘naturally’ thin, and while they certainly exist, the reality is that our current standard of beauty reveres THIN. Look at Hollywood, fashion magazines, the Internet – for the most part, these women exemplify a body type that is so ridiculously thin that the only way to aheive it is through extreme diet and exercise. Rememeber Adrianna Lima’s pre-VS Fashion Show diet? Or Chrissy Tiegan’s cleanses? The problem isn’t just that fashion wants women to be thin, it’s that the ‘ideal’ thinness is so tiny that even fashion models, who are already slender, can barely attain that ideal. We know that in order to be fashion model thin she’s actively working to keep herself tiny, no matter what she says.
i think kendall has kloe’s nose because it was kris’ original nose, several procedures ago
I think it depends on your experience. I’ve been called both. When I originally slimmed down years ago, it secretly pleased me to be called ‘too thin’. 20 *cough* years have gone by, and depending on how fat or skinny I am feeling, it either pleases me or terrifies me, because at my age it is getting to be my face or my ass, but not both.
Eh. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum as well. When I was skinny, most of the comments were made out of envy. When I was chubbier, the comments were definitely NOT made out of envy. Either way, it’s just another way to be objectified. Life is much easier for women who are skinny vs. fat. Also, many of the “eat a sandwich” comments are actually backhanded compliments. Skinny women are perceived as disciplined while chubby chicks are viewed as lazy over eaters, regardless of the reasons for each body type.
When some of us are excited to see curvier models/actresses gracing magazine covers, it’s not a slam against skinny chicks, it’s just nice to see that a woman is appreciated and she just so happens to have a more easily attainable body type, according to typical averages and so forth. Also, skinny women are just as “real” as curvy women.
Personally, I want to look like that pole-vaulter chick. She’s my body holy grail.
I was naturally very thin when I was in High School and I had people that would come up to me and tell me I was too skinny or asked if I ate. And yeah, it was really rude.
It’s upsetting when people are at you at you about your weight like it offends them. That holds true regardless of whether they perceive you to weigh too much or too little. It’s offensive when everyone feels like they’re entitled to an opinion about something that you can’t change overnight. It’s one thing if you have a disease…it’s another if it is just your natural state.
It’s upsetting when people are at you and at you about your weight like it offends them. That holds true regardless of whether they perceive you to weigh too much or too little. It’s offensive when everyone feels like they’re entitled to an opinion about something that you can’t change overnight. It’s one thing if you have a disease…it’s another if it is just your natural state.
It’s been interesting for me to read all these comments and see that so many other naturally thin women have had the same experiences as me. In high school and college, I always found it bizarre when another girl would tell me with disgust in her eyes that I “was so thin it was sickening” and seem to honestly not think that would bother me. What made it even stranger to me is that I’ve never been underweight, or “too skinny.” I’m slender, but height and weight proportionate. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that maybe they were insecure about themselves and were taking it out on me.
It’s been interesting for me to read all these comments and see that so many other naturally thin women have had the same experiences as me. In high school and college, I always found it bizarre when another girl would tell me with disgust in her eyes that I “was so thin it was sickening” and seem to honestly not think that would bother me. What made it even stranger to me is that I’ve never been underweight, or “too skinny.” I’m slender, but height and weight proportionate. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that maybe they were insecure about themselves and were taking it out on me.
Oh, young Jenner…gain 50 lbs, actually GET called “fat”, feel like you’re fat…then come back and share w/us which descriptive word & which end of the spectrum actually felt worse. I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum, and being called “skinny” always felt great.
Thank you Tulip Garden.You put a smile on my face.And no I don’t let peoples word’s hurt me anymore.
I have no doubt older sister Kim has through jealousy managed to manipulate situations so that her prettier younger sister is made to feel less than beautiful – I’m sure this girl speaks from experience.
She is a teenager-she should enjoy it while she still can! Having to gain weight is a much more enviable position than having to lose! I was 118-125 lbs and 5’10 since high school to age 26 and people would always stop me in the street to ask if I was a model. Her metabolism will slow down eventually, like most people. She should enjoy it before she has to start putting in a LOT of work to struggle to maintain the weight/figure that is probably making her a load of $$ right now
What a pretty girl! A lovely face, a frame that looks right for her. I truly hope she doesn’t get caught up in the body issues that so many of we women have.
Unfortunately, I think the over commercialization of our society contributes more to those body image issues than we consciously realize, and that women (especially young women) suffer from it.
I’ve always been naturally thin. I only get mad when someone comments on my weight with a snarky comment. Someone said I was an anorexic coke girl. Once, I was getting a candy bar from the snack machine and a woman told me I should get 2 more b/c I could use them. I told her to put hers back b/c she didn’t need any candy bars at all. Both of these comments were made my very obese individuals that I had never done anything wrong to. In fact, I was close friends with the first one. The second woman didn’t know me at all. They were making fun of me for being skinny and it hurt my feelings. No one should be shamed b/c of their weight, big or small.