Does Gwyneth Paltrow still have the ability to shock you? At this point… not so much. For me, the “Goop Too Far” was her story about “everybody scrambling for a razor” when she tried on the Berardi dress without panties. Meaning that Gwyneth now promotes her films by talking about her the size and hirsuteness of her bush. So what was next on Gwyneth’s TMI Tour? A stop on Chelsea Lately, where Chelsea Handler did the heavy lifting and told the audience about Gwyneth’s “advice” to ladies fighting with their men. I’ll spare you the build-up: if you’re mad at your man, don’t yell at him, just go down on him. Goop-Style (Goop-Style = pinkies in the air as you stroke).
She paints herself as a domestic goddess, and once encouraged people to ‘nourish the inner aspect’ on her pretentious Goop lifestyle website. But it seems even perfect Gwyenth Paltrow is not always brimming with such lofty words of wisdom.
In a new interview it emerged the 40-year-old actress, who is married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin, once advised a female friend that oral sex was the solution for women wanting to prevent an argument with their husbands. The Iron Man 3 actress didn’t volunteer this story willingly, but was left red faced after chat show host Chelsea Handler made the revelation as she made an appearance on her show on Monday night.
Paltrow was having dinner with friends, including Handler, when the unnamed woman told them she was furious with her spouse after a huge bust up. But according to Handler, Gwyneth told her to let go of her anger – before giving her the unusual advice.
See, all of this time, I only thought of beejs in peasant terms, as a gift you give when YOU need to get out of trouble. It turns out that all of us should be handing out beejs whenever our dudes piss us off. Which is a really terrible way to exist in any relationship – that’s positive reinforcement of bad behavior. All your man will learn is that he can act like an a—hole and you’ll still give him beejs. It’s like giving your dog a treatie for piddling on the carpet. Classic GOOP.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
what is she talking about, it’s like she knows everyone thinks she looks frigid and anemic so she tries to come back at us sexy and it ends up sounding even more frigid than ever.
YOu can bet your ass Chris Martin’s not eating her out every time she catches him smuggling Doritos into the house.
I just spit out my Coke Zero with this comment while cringing at the visual.
But, you’re right and Gwyneth needs a nice tall refreshing glass of STFU.
+1. Several tall glasses at least. I wonder if her husband cringes every time she opens her mouth.
Precisely.
LMAO. You win.
F**k me that’s funny!
LMAO, coffee, keyboard, worth it!
OMG LMAO you made my day!
EW! Hahaha. He would have to be going down on her all the time because Chris Martin loves to sneak his DoritHOES around all the time 😉
My first response to this story was, “She can eat a bag of dicks” then I was like “Oh, wait she already does”.
Perfect. Just perfect. There are no other words to describe your comment!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BRILLIANT!!!
I think she’s “putting it out” there because she’s going to be single soon. She’s already got such a frigid reputation, she may be strategically doing early damage control because honestly — she doesn’t seem like the type who would even have sex organs.
Eueew, eueew, eueew. I think I hate you for that, but it did make me laugh.
I guess we know why Chris Martin has yet to file for divorce…
OMG! You are so correct.
Claire’s at the mall called. They want their butterfly pin back.
she’s only doing it for the protein..
LMAO!!
hahahhahhahha!
LOL! I just choked on my croissant and now my coworkers think I’m nuts because I’m at my desk laughing to myself.
+1000
Zinger!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA 😀
LOL!!!! 😀
Haha, organic, grassfed and hormone free
Yessssss;)
LMAO!!! You and nina win!
+1
Yes, it is her version of Ensure.
At least it keeps the flow of condescending crap from coming out of her mouth for a few minutes….
her husband can’t stand her. remember that folks. ironic that a woman who has a completely failed relationship is giving out “how to keep your man happy” advice.
Phony, phony, phony.
How do you know her husband can’t stand her?
When I’m pissed at my boyfriend the last thing I want to do is give him pleasure! Maybe it’s the reverse psychology thing in her goop mind
Exactly! If I’m pissed at my man and followed this advice, I’d be tempted to “take a bite out of crime”.
That’s exactly what I was thinking–no intelligent man would put his dick in the mouth of a woman who is likely mad as hell at him.
Yes, an angry beej is a terrible, TERRIBLE idea for so many reasons. And even if you are the one in trouble, there is no need to go that far. Just flash your boobs and their brains get short-circuited. Proven. Fact. 🙂 Men cannot argue while looking at boobs.
Haha, you girls are cracking me up! 😉
But I agree, when I’m mad I’m surely not making an effort for him!
Angry sex, however, is all kinds of right!
Girl bye!! BJ’s are rewards!!! You will not piss me off and then expect me to crack my jaw in half for you. Have several seats Goopy.
No kidding! He isn’t getting ANYTHING from me when I’m pissed. Oh thanks goop for taking women back 100 yrs- oh yes I must please my man when he’s upset- GAG
Ya got that right! The girl doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground! 🙂
@Laura, she’s well acquainted with her ass. How couldn’t she be with all the colonics she’s getting 😳
B*tch needs to get to know her brain as well as she knows her b-hole!
there is no way my guy wants me near his junk when I’m pissed off..
LOL!
Same here!
+1. My bf would be too afraid I would bite it off. Plus when he is in the wrong it’s me that should be appeased with oral.
Ok, she’s blatantly trolling now, yes?
I know right?
no doubt.
PLEASE make her go away.
Has Downey, Jr., star of Iron Man, done any promotion for this movie at all or is he leaving it all up to her?
Just don’t get the 24/7 Gwen and no star. Well, I do, but it is all so odd..and a bit sad.
@Jane RDJ just left NY this morning I think. He has been on a few NY talk shows and News outlets. I got to see a special premiere of IM3 and he made a surprised appearance at thr theater; I also went to The Daily Show which he was also on.
@V4Real. That is cool and he is out there, but who the hell knows it. No daily TMI stories or obnoxious clothes. He is about the movie and not himself, like ms. paltrow, which is what is sad.
I don’t think so. I hope what she means is that sometimes you have to step back, table the argument, and “act” loving until you are both calmer. I mean it’s a conscious decision that you don’t want to escalate things. Anyway, I hope that is what she means. If she means it literally, well, there is no way in hell that is going to happen!
BTW, I think she looks really good here. I swing from gaint eye-rolls at her to enjoying her for what she is…clueless, wealthy, and condescending!
Oh my God hahahahahaha.
The day I take relationship advice from Goop will be the day I admit my life is over.
Hmm….I would think Goop would view BJ’s are beneath her…too peasant-y.
I know, right? Then again, I guess she never said SHE does it, she only advised a friend to?
She’s not thinking clearly from her diet of wheat grass juice and organic universe energy or whatever it is she eats.
She didn’t say it was positive reinforcement for negative behavior. It’s more a way to (as she said) let go of your anger and reconnect with your spouse. Marriage is a dance – sometimes he comes to you when you are feeling crappy and being grumpy, and sometimes you do the same. I didn’t read it as automatically forgiving your husband for some unforgiveable transgression by putting on your hooker gear and giving him a blow job.
Lulu, didn’t you get the memo? No logic allowed, no mitigating circumstances…ALL must hate Gwyneth, it’s what the cool kids do. They’ve moved on from Anne for now. Used to be Angie 24/7…ah, the internet. Just like high school…except everyone’s fatter and gets to be anonymous.
Anyway, I agree with you completely about Gwyneth.
Don’t call me fat!
LOL
-ahoyhoy: I think it’s hilarious that you’re berating the commenters for acting like they’re in high school when you’re the one calling them ‘fat’.
Here’s what I know about Goop – she shaves her hooha and rewards her husband with bj’s while advising people on what to eat and wear.
Oh and I forgot the celebrity colonics.
She’s a first class non- peasanty idiiot.
And please don’t forget to call yourself fat either!
Exactly, or she might have been joking with her girlfriends and didn’t expect it to get out. I know I have jokingly given advice like this. Sometimes the hive mind on this site amazes me.
That’s why we love this site-it’s bitchy, it’s snarky, it’s entertaining, it’s hilarious! Some of us like that kind of humor. I think the posters on here are damn witty. I don’t personally think of it as a “hive mind.”
Even if I don’t agree with what someone says I still get a laugh out of it. Brightens my day!
I don’t understand why people come here & complain about it. Like the person up above who called myself & everyone else here “fat”.
CeleBITCHY. Obvious.
😉
First, if I am angry with my man, I walk away and take time to cool off. She is not talking about feeling down or grumpy- that would be comforting someone. She’s talking about FIGHTING – totally different. There are other ways to not “yell” at your spouse. Using/not using sex as a reward or punishment is to me not acceptable or to get something you want.
When I’m grumpy, I get mad about really stupid stuff that normally wouldn’t bug me. That’s where I was coming from.
You’re exactly right about what she said. And it’s still blindingly stupid.
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years — the same as Goop’s been with Chris Martin. You do NOT solve things by shoving them under the rug. Sometimes you’re just grouchy and need some time alone. But when there’s actual anger involved, then there’s an actual problem, and you must work it through. And you do not use sex as a solution to problems. That’s what you do when you’re in your late teens to early 20s and obsessed with sex because it’s shiny and new, and you don’t know wtf you’re doing regarding relationships. This woman is 40 — 4 years older than me. She’s embarrassing. She doesn’t seem to have learned anything in the last 20 years.
People who give “advice” like this piss me off. Sex should be had for mutual pleasure. Not to “fix” things or to give men an out for not contributing to the relationship.
Yup.
I think she lost it completely.
She is crying for attention in every possible pathetic way and trying to show she is not a boring, uptight Stepford wife.
Just like Cameron Diaz, she comes off pathatic, childish and shallow.
We are talking about a 40 years old woman who is speaking like an incredibly silly 15 years old who thinks it’s COOL to speak about BJs on television, and thinks that makes her more appealing/ sexy or whatever.
The only thing this makes me think is how her husband does not pay any attention to her and how she is trying to over-compensate by trying to convince us that they have som sort of sex life.
Again, another woman who was supposed to be somewhat intelligent acting as if she internalized sexist and chauvinist point of view, where she is supposed to sexualize herself and be of service to man, and by pandering for attention by exclaiming how she is performing sexual acts for man as a way to overcome conflicts.
Girlfriend, you need
a. to quit your “marriage”.
b. work in a different field at least for a while and / gain some education
c. start to befriend people outside of Hollywood.
Dude, chill. Giving and receiving head is awesome.
So agreed, especially on the working in a different field part and gaining an education. She does not seem like a happy woman.
^^^^THIS
Yep.
Except… she’s too willfully ignorant, narcissistic, and rich to do anything she needs to do. She is holding on to this marriage with teeth and claws, though it’s obvious she and her husband don’t care for each other. I dunno what side it started on, but they’re both pathetic for sticking with it. Staying in an unhappy marriage messes kids up, because they grow up thinking that’s what relationships are supposed to be like.
It wasn’t actually Gwyneth who told the story. How is she crying for attention?
I pity Chris’ foreskin, as she seems really angry and pissed off all the time.
How can you pity him when he never seems around/ raising the kids/ with his wife and was “rumored” to sleep with other women?
If there’s anything that makes me feel for her is how her husband treats her/ his involvement in his kids’ lives.
Eh, you know this was a joke, right?
But then you’re not dealing with the issues are you? Or do you talk after the deed? I couldn’t turn my anger into something sexual no matter how hard I would try.
Makes sense to me.
Once she’s got his “member” surrounded by those big horse teeth, I bet he does see her point!
I’m pretty sure that when I’m pissed off at my husband, the last place he wants me is near his twig & berries. What kind of submissive housewife bullshit is this?
OH! I am so pissed at Chris Hemsworth right now! And Tom Hiddleston and Shemar Moore have raised my hackles… and James McAvoy and Ewan McGregor really ticked me off… and don’t get me started on how angry I am at Taye Diggs.
Lmao, they’d be happy to see YOU if you’re Goopy
ha ha ha ha! (I know that is not much of a contribution but that is hilarious).
At first I was like huh? Then I got it, I’m slow.
Oh yes I could see myself being VERY angry at CHarms, all day angry infact. Although I’d probably get lock-jaw after 5 mins with a man his size. It’s the effort that counts though!
Hahaha! Awesome.
@j.eyre. LMFAO
Like I mentioned yesterday I was lucky enough to get in to see a private screening of IM3. It was a special screening for some NY teens from Queens that volunteered with the Hurricane Sandy relief. I knew my hubby was in town but I didn’t know he was going to make a surprise appearance at the theater. I was blown away and he’s just as tiny and cute as I remembered him. He didn’t stay for the movie. He said a few words took photos with the kids that were being honored and left.
BTW I loved the movie even though some people have issues with it. Seriously, it’s a comic book movie, not a drama, it’s not like they’re gearing up to be next year’s Oscar contender.
So while Goop is on TV giving advice to women about BJ’s, RDJ was bringing joy to a bunch of teenagers who were being celebrated for helping out in New York’s time of need.
Good cause and glad to hear you enjoyed the movie. Sounds like he has great PR people and is a much more well-rounded person who doesn’t need to famewhore.
I saw your post – I am so jealous… and delighted to hear he was a prince. I am glad you got to go.
Although, wasn’t I supposed to be your plus 1? *ahem*
@j.eyre you were my +1 but didn’t you cancel due to Chemsworth blowing through town and whisking you away Thor Style? That living walking breathing famewhore of a wife wasn’t around due to famewhoring for her movie Fast & Furious.
On another note, I think Gwen must have been watching her other BFF Cameron Dion’s movie “Bad Teacher”. In it she says to her guy “Honey get ready, I’m going to s_ck your _i_k like I’m mad at it”. Cameron is probably saying bitch stole my line.
I meant Diaz, damn it. See what happens when RDJ comes to town; I forget people’s name. Who the hell is Cameron Dion? LOL and no it wasn’t a spelling error or typo, I actually meant to write Diaz.
Ah yes, V4 – that was it. That is exactly what happened… the whisking, the carting off, the blowing… it was colossal in every way.
And I know that we discussed this whole “whenever your man shows up you just drop everything to mount him like a balance beam in the Olympics” – which is how I knew you wouldn’t mind.
That was a great line. I didn’t care for the movie but I did bark at that line (and I may have used it myself)
Sounds like a good way to lose a penis.
LOL. Sure does.
She’s the world’s most undercover troll. Or so she thinks.
Isn’t that delicious…
I highly doubt my hubby wants me angrily eyeballing him with my teeth closing in on his lap.
hahahahahahahaa!
LOL! Seriously, some of your guys’ comments are pure gold.
I think she missed the mist important part. Wasn’t it said that it was a high-profile friend dating a high-profile guy? I think so. One of them said that. I will have to go back and see where I read it. All I could think of was Aniston and Justin.
She seriously needs to come with her own warning “may contain nuts”.
Goop is just too try hard now, I mean 5 years ago she would never be doing stuff like this. Why is she suddenly becoming an attention whore?
Someone on one of the MANY other Goop is crazy posts said something about her lacking attention and love at home, and now she’s running around looking for it like she is. I think that’s likely.
If that’s the case then why does she stay and put up with that? I suppose it could be for the kids sake but I think it’s because of her pride, I don’t think she likes looking like a failure.
This chick and her friends have no filter what so ever. Who needs or wants to know about how you save your relationship by giving BJs or talk of you or your friend’s bush.
These women are a mess and all seem to run together.
She’s managed to make her ultimate chic-ness disappear.
Haha, well. She is ‘right’ but not with the sexual favors bit. Instead of feeding your anger and negativity, best to approach it with a little opposite of what you’d ‘normally’ do to find a resolution. Of course, there’s not much that would keep me from flying off about cheating. MAN UP and tell me you’re eyeing other broads, sheesh.
oh, god. i didn’t think there was a line to cross after the shaving her pootang talk, but i guess goop manages to find new lows…
I’m slightly afraid what could be next.
Seriously.
Coming up in the next GOOP newsletter…Anal bleaching (no peasants allowed)….
WTF? The last thing I’m doing when I’m pissed at my husband is go down on him. If anything he should go down on me while I think about whether I’ll forgive him or not.
I thought she was too classy for BJs…she is horrible.
Sorry to go off topic, but can anyone tell me what happened between Goop and Madonna? They were glued at the hip for while, and now, it appears they despise each other.
I don’t know what happened and I don’t personally like Madonna much, but I could see Madonna telling Goop how frigging crazy she is if she spouted something off about giving blow jobs to a man you’re pissed off at.
Madonna once said she would rather read a book than give a blow job. LOL
Goop discards female friends like crazy. Possibly Madonna got bored with her, possibly Madonna was no longer useful to her.
She has the worst case of celebrity foot in mouth disease ever. Each time she speaks, the negative feedback increases. Where are her handlers? Can’t someone clue her in to how many more fans she loses every time she tries to be hip, cool, and elite? She needs to take a break. See her kids. Give us a chance to forget what an ass she really is.
“pinkies in the air” 🙂
I highly doubt she’s even a contender at the Junk Olympics let alone placing in the Beej Relay. I bet she’s horrific and this its more painful to watch than pleasurable to receive. That being said, I don’t play mind games with my husband. I feel like blowing him, I blow him. I don’t use him or our sex life as a means to get what I want.
THis just makes me cringe because I feel like she and Chris will be over by year’s end. She has her book and Iron Man and then they can split, and she can hide from the embarrassment.
I too get the feeling this is (pre) divorce damage control on her part. She wants for people to think, “what’s wrong with Martin that he couldn’t/wouldn’t stay with this ‘domestic goddess’ who let him do whatever he wanted and put up with all his sh*t?”
Yeah, I can just see the headlines now–
“Guess The BJ’s Didn’t Work, Eh Gwynnie?”
I’m running out of ways to call this woman dumb.
+1000
I think we have to resort to the Shakespearean insult generator at this point.
She is a shallow cowardly hind, and she lies. (Henry IV, part I)
Lol! We’d run through those and have to expand to world wide cross-cultural insults throughout history.
Such a bad idea to have your teeth and hands near a guy’s favorite organ/thing in the world when your angry with him. Just…no…don’t go there. Angry sex I can get on board with. For the record though, I’m not saying this from my own experiences but because it totally makes sense, right?
I am beginning to suspect that GOOP is all just a big performance art piece, like something Joaquin Phoenix or James Franco would do. If so, I would for the first time actually be impressed with Paltrow. If this shit’s for real, she needs to STFU.
NO WAY would my husband let me “down there” if I were pissed at him, he’d be too afraid I think!
*slow clapping*
Congratulations Gwyneth… rather than grabbing headlines because of your acting, you now only get media attention because of your attention grabbing antics.
She now differs from the Kardashians (sic)… how?
6 famewhoring degrees from Tracy Anderson?
The Kardashians are smarter and prettier.
No, I don’t like the Kardashians.
I’m sorry, but giving my man a beej when I’m already pissed at him would make me, well, more pissed at him, lol! Seriously, stay away from me and don’t even touch me when you are in the dog house!
woman you done me wrong, suck on dis to make me better
I know more about this woman’s bowel excretions, vagina and bone loss than I care to know. WHat next, Gwyneth? Are you going to tell us how you secretly pick your nose and leave the remnants under the tables of the exclusive restaurants you eat in? This woman is a tall walking cornball. She’s just weird now.
Lol. I suspect next time we’re going to get a youtube upload of her colon cleansing, broadcast from her favorite colonics spa, as she simultaneously interviews her favorite colon cleaner.
Oh MY GOD, you could be right about that. Who told this woman that the world loved her so much?
its the feeling ALMOST lik a peasant fase..Evendriving a mini Cooper…Just like all the other peasants.LOLZZZZZ
Yah…ummmm…I LOVE my man but the last thing I want to do when I’m pissed at him is give him a bj. I can’t even be in the same room with him sometimes if I’m really angry. Now make up sex…that’s a different story. GOOP needs to stop it. Just STFU at this point with the TMI. How am I going to enjoy Iron Man 3 now? Maybe all of the RDJ waves will block her out?
exactly! if you’re seething, you might just bite it off.
God ENOUGH!!!
shuzzzz up! who is taking care of her kids? go do something noteworthy
Maybe their father? It’s not only the mothers job to care for the kids
Or, you could have a healthy sex life in which you both do exactly what you want to do and no more, because you love each other and like having sex with each other.
Goop: one of the dumbest people ever, or dumbest person ever? I think even Ryan Lochte is smarter than her.
gross. beejs suck.
Seriously.
I would never give anyone a “beej”, i just find it disgusting and degrading.
To each their own though.
And I have what they call “c__sucking lips”. Classy name. Leave my full lips out of it creeps! maybe that’s why Gwynnie has such thin lips, she’s been doing too much sucking. I hear that thins them out.
still no. 👿
TROOOOLLLLL IN THE DUNGEON
I remember reading somewhere that she thinks women should do the opposite to what we feel so if we are angry we should give a man a bj. (How can anyone arrive at that conclusion in beyond me). Not sure if she had provided any explanation, but just thinking if this is her way of thinking, then how does she behave when she feels she loves him?! Does she show him she hates him?! Guess that explains why she’s forcing us to think she’s so positive about everything and has let go off of anger when in fact it is bubbling just under the surface. She needs to change her shrink cos the one she has is definitely not helping! Divorce is one thing, but hope she’s not heading for a breakdown. However annoying she is i would not wish her that although can imagine you cannot live like that for long…
Re. breakdown:
I was just thinking she is starting to remind me of Sinead O’Connor, with over sharing on twitter and 18 days long marriage, during the bi polar breakdown from quitting medication.
It seems that her sex advice is as good as her food advice.
If I offered my husband a BJ, at a time when he knew I was homicidally pissed off, he’d bolt from the apartment. He MIGHT turn up again after I was asleep but not before.
Mmmm…I’m not so sure about that! You should try it and get back to us!
As a woman I think we would feel that way (I would want to kill my husband if I was pissed and his solution was sex) but I suspect guys might feel differently.
So she’s perfect. She never hassles her husband, so she says, like we mere mortal wives apparently do. She gives her husband a BJ no matter what when she is mad at him.
That’s why Chris talks about how much he loves and adores Gwyn — oh, wait, he never talks about her or will even be seen in public with her.
It’s not working, Gwynneth.
Funniest post and comments of the day. The next announcement may not be a divorce, I think it is more likely to be she is being treated for bipolar disease.
She just does not seem right in the head anymore.
Yep~I totally agree with you, funniest post & comments in a while AND she isn’t right in the head. “Pinkies in the air as you stroke” bwahahaha
I agree with both of you that the comments here are especially hilarious today! I really needed a laugh as I got got some sad news today. Couldn’t wait to read this when I saw the headline.
Men do not like being compared to dogs anymore than women do. Also using sex to get yourself out of trouble is just as manipulative as using sex to calm yourself down when you are mad at him.
Nothing against oral sex for your man but she is a pig. A total bitch and he deserves so much better. She is humiliating her family – how awful for her kids. And I am not jealous cause there are so many more beautiful women in the world…we just hate her plain and simple. An embarrassment to women. SHUT up and keep private matters private. She keeps doing saying all this and acting all sweet – she ain’t sweet and he IS NOT happy in that marriage believe me.
Oh that’s right, us silly wimmins are not allowed to have feelings or need time to process anything, or for that matter, be legitimately pissed off because someone did something wrong.
There’s something kind of “must…not…piss…him…off” about this.
Goop’s advice = midlife crisis
Damn straight!
There is no way in hell I believe Goop is giving her man anger bj’s on the reg. If she is, she’s doing it wrong because they both look miserable and pissed all the time.
And here I thought she couldn’t get any more annoying. I stand corrected.
Her friend Beyonce will think this is a brilliant idea!
Good for her. Shes a perfect example of an average looking woman who was able to use her father and her money to become famous and buy her cover for “worlds most beautiful woman”. Jennifer aniston must have been too busy this year for it.