I think I managed to go through the entire Steubenville rape case and controversy without ever really writing about it. I didn’t have much to add to the many eloquent voices defending the 16-year-old rape victim while simultaneously educating the public on Rape Culture, on why “being good at football” doesn’t give you a pass to rape an unconscious teenager, nor post photos of her sexual assault on your social media, nor bully the rape victim after her assault. The Steubenville rape was summarized eloquently by one man I saw on MSNBC after the verdict came out: American society teaches young women “don’t get raped” when we should be teaching men “don’t rape”.
This is all backstory for a new celebrity interview. Serena Williams – who is currently fresh off her French Open victory – gave an interview to Rolling Stone. The interview seems to have been conducted a few months ago, when the Steubenville case was getting wall-to-wall coverage. I want to point out one process point: this is not a tabloid story. This is not a situation where “a friend of Serena Williams says that Serena said something.” This is a direct interview with Serena. She knew she was on the record. And this is what happened, via Deadspin:
We watch the news for a while, and the infamous Steubenville rape case flashes on the TV—two high school football players raped a 16-year-old, while other students watched and texted details of the crime. Serena just shakes her head.
“Do you think it was fair, what they got? They did something stupid, but I don’t know. I’m not blaming the girl, but if you’re a 16-year-old and you’re drunk like that, your parents should teach you: don’t take drinks from other people. She’s 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn’t remember? It could have been much worse. She’s lucky. Obviously I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t a virgin, but she shouldn’t have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that’s different.”
[From Rolling Stone via Deadspin]
So much BS in one short passage. Again, we teach girls: don’t get raped. And the secondary message seems to be to boys: if a girl is drunk or incapacitated or you’re good at sports, go ahead and rape whoever you want and you can get away with it because everyone will blame your victim. You know what really bugs? “Maybe she wasn’t a virgin…” WTF does virginity have anything to do with it? If the girl was a virgin, did she “deserve” to be raped more or less?
In a less aggravating section of the interview, Serena seems to be throwing shade at Maria Sharapova, although Serena doesn’t name her:
“There are people who live, breathe and dress tennis. I mean seriously, give it a rest.” Serena exits the car and the conversation moves on to a Top Five player who is now in love. “She begins every interview with ‘I’m so happy. I’m so lucky’—it’s so boring,” says Serena in a loud voice. “She’s still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it.”
[From Rolling Stone via Deadspin]
Deadspin points out that Maria is currently dating Grigor Dimitrov, who Serena dated a while back too. Is there any secret that there’s no love lost between Maria and Serena? I bet Serena really was referencing her.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Rape apologist. She needs to STFU.
Yeah this is another one who deserves the same comment I gave Melissa Etheridge…
Yeah shut up.
X’s 10
Her answer is a throwback to the old, “Because she was wearing shorts, she was asking for it” mentality. No woman asks to be raped.
Serena needs to shut her trap about a subject she apparently knows nothing about.
And if we’re actually asking for it, it isn’t rape!
Yes means yes and no means no. There are many other things that mean NO as well and being UNCONSCIOUS is one of them.
I Have lost so much respect for this woman!
I don’t have that big of a problem with what Serena said about the rape. She’s dumb so she didn’t say what I think she meant which is that…yeah the girl got assaulted and that’s wrong and despicable, but if there’s a lesson here for girls it’s to be careful about the decisions you make and to avoid putting yourself in a situation where you become incoherently drunk and incapacitated bc there are animals out there that feed on that. Also it’s a lesson for parents to wake up and realize wtf your kids are doing
I guess looking like a ripped MAN is what has kept Serena safe all these years. I have always thought she was just disgusting (and not just in a physical sense).
I don’t think her physicality has anything to do with the issue. And I find your comment quite gross and misogynistic, which I thought was something we were combating against in this day and age.
@Jacqueline
WOW. So she is by your estimation, too ugly to be raped? Her ‘manliness’ protects her from rape? Again, WOW. That’s just as sexist AND ignorant about rape as Serena’s comment.
If you want to hate on her, hate on her for her WORDS, not because she fails to conform to social standards of femininity and beauty by being a highly accomplished athlete. Her comments, as a woman and as someone that women and girls look up to, are disgusting. The fact that she is both a woman and strong is not.
I completely agree that nothing can EVER justify rape and Serena’s comments are ignorant and disturbing.
I know I will probably get slammed for this, but I do, however, think teen drinking is a different issue that also needs to be addressed. Teens may not fully understand the consequences that can come from drinking to excess; it really is scary as a parent to think about the culture of drinking that exists for young teens. Had those boys not been drunk they may have had the control not to rape an unconscious girl and had she been conscious to say no things could have played out differently as well.
She obviously didn’t ask for or deserve to be raped, but she did put herself in a compromising situation (maybe this is what Serena was trying to say). I would liken it to a person, man or woman, walking down a back alley late at night alone: no has the right to rob you and you certainly aren’t asking for it, but you should learn to recognize that as a dangerous situation and do all you can to avoid it and protect yourself. There are a lot of bad people in this world and others will not always step up to help or do what is right, as the Steubenville case clearly illustrates.
Oh please, the fact these two footballers raped the 16-year old has little to do with the fact they were drunk or unconscious of their behavior. They are sexist, misogynic and even when there was no alcohol around, they bragged about the rape, shared those photos/videos and tweeted about it for days. Not exactly a ‘drank too much, did something I shouldn’t have done’ situation.
And how did she put herself in a compromising situation? She was at a party and her drink was spiked. The party by the way was ‘hosted’ by one of the team’s coach, therefore an adult was present there.
@Jenny:
I don´t think control is the issue here.
Considering that these boys still were able to perform they weren´t drunk out of their minds, it is the misguided feeling of entitlement men have when it comes to female bodies. They didn´t even think they were doing something wrong, those boys had no respect for this girl as a person, when boys black out because of drinking the worst thing that could happen to them is that someone draws a dick on their face, girls get raped, because our bodies don´t belong to us, but considered are a tool for satisfaction for boys and if we don´t/aren´t able to say no we obviously approve them to use us.
And the majority of the media coverage with their pity party for those celebrated high school athletes, the slut shaming, victim blaming and their low sentence prove them right.
Stellalovejoydriver
It sounds like both entitlement and control. They’re so entitled that they own and control anything they like because no one tells them no. It’s sickening either way that a person can tthink they can do whatever they like to another person just because they feel like it with no remorse.
@leen what leen said exactly! They knew what they were doing qualified as rape. They even said as much. They described it as such. They shared pictures when they were sober. The guys were pigs as was everyone at that party. They have to live through this for a year with all the sympathy in the world given to them that they absolutely do not deserve. While the girl has to deal with this traumatic experience for the rest of her life and be harassed by her horrendous classmates.
@FLORC:
The control bit was a response to Jenny above who said that is also was an issue of control since if the boys weren´t drunk they would have been able control themselves and not rape a passed out girl.
Gotcha Stella.
@Jacqueline
Rape is not a compliment. It doesn’t happen to conventionally attractive women between 15-45.
The attitude that rape only happens to attractive women is another facet of rape culture that needs to be addressed.
The manliness is due to steroid use, which means she’s a cheater. She brought it upon herself. Watch her shrink down when her playing days are over.
I think jacqueline means she looks like a muscle bound man and could probably kick any rapist’s ass. But if she was slipped something and passed out….well that’s different.
@Veritas – if that is the case then Serena and Lance Armstrong would be a trashtastic pairing, which leads me to wondering if LA is any good at tennis and if SW could hold her own on a bike.
And as of 14 minutes ago she’s responded apologetically. Seems to blame reporter.
http://espn.go.com/tennis/story/_/id/9402640/serena-williams-backtracks-steubenville-rape-case-comments
(edit — two hours ago the apology appeared on abcnews)
Robbery is a CRIME and is WRONG, but do you leave your front door wide open? ID Theft is a crime, but do you leave your credentials around for anyone to find? Why was a 16yr old at a party drinking, and drinking to the point of passing out? Rape is WRONG, but she should not have been drinking in the first place, especially with boys she barely knows. Only a FOOL puts themselves in harms way and doesn’t expect to get harmed. The world isn’t perfect!!!
Hi, these were not boys she barely knew. This were her friends. She thought she could trust them. They broke that trust. She wasn’t getting drunk at some bar with strangers. She knew these people.
Look. I totally believe in teaching girls to make safe choices and take care of themselves, but if something horrible happens, PLEASE don’t tell her it’s her fault. It’s not her fault that rapists exist. You should be able to drink and not be worried about getting raped. You don’t blame a girl for something so horrible. What’s the point in blaming her after te fact, other than make her feel a lot worse? What’s done it’s done. You help her move forward.
From what I have read, these were not boys she “barely knew.” These were boys she knew and trusted.
Regardless, the boys should know it is wrong to have sex with a woman who’s decision-making abilities are compromised and in this case, non-existent since she was passed out. They felt entitled to rape, degrade and abuse her.
I don’t care how much she had to drink, the boys should have known that kind of behavior is never okay. I have a daughter and two sons and while I will hopefully teach my daughter to steer clear of dangerous situations, I will also teach my sons that it is NEVER okay to take advantage of a woman, especially if she is intoxicated.
Okay you have a job, and you trust your co-workers, but do they know your username and password? You trust your family members, but do they know your financial information? Absolutely those boys had no business touching her, but she had no business drinking in the first place, she is a minor! If we do something stupid, the world is not going to look out for us, we have to protect ourselves which that girl did not do. I lived the movie Scarface, so I knew girls who were brutally raped and murdered by those Cuban convicts, and the police could not believe they went down there after we had been told by faculty at school, on the news, and our parents to stay away from those areas. We cannot put ourselves in harms way and expect everyone around us to be Saints, it never has and never will happen, PERIOD!
Is there some reason why you keep blaming the victim, even though you’re trying to paint that blame with the claim of ‘people have to be responsible for their own safety?’
@kc454 – If you have read about this case, you know these boys and that football program allowed this mentality of “I am a god” to flourish in that community. These boys felt entitled to take what they wanted because of their position on the football team. It’s the same mentality that prevailed with Sandusky.
It was wrong. They were wrong. The victim is a victim.
No one should feel they are entitled to abuse another human being because of their athletic ability, standing in the community, fame, money or anything else.
Wrong is wrong. That fact does not change because a girl had too many drinks or wasn’t a virgin.
How is it blaming the victim to say that a woman of any age, or any person for that matter, should not be drinking to the point where they are blacked out and to point out how that clearly puts anyone in a dangerous position? I just assumed it went without saying that as parents we teach our children to treat people with respect and dignity, which obviously those boys did not. The fact that these boys did something horrible and inexcusable does not negate the fact that it is never a good idea to get incredibly inebriated. The fact that people refuse to acknowledge that alcohol is even an issue is crazy to me; it does not excuse or explain what happened, but it was certainly a factor and a dangerous part of the current youth culture.
Addressing alcohol is not blaming the victim; it is reality. And this is not just an issue of rape. I knew too many kids in college that got robbed at gun or knifepoint when walking home from the bar drunk and alone. They became easy targets for people looking to do wrong. The school put out flyers explaining how students should not go out, drink to excess and then walk home alone. Were they also blaming the victims?
@jenny: “the fact that these boys did something horrible and inexcusable does not negate the fact that it is never a good idea to get incredibly inebriated. The fact that people refuse to acknowledge that alcohol is even an issue is crazy to me; it does not excuse or explain what happened, but it was certainly a factor and a dangerous part of the current youth culture.”
Because the drinking and the raping are in fact two separate issues? And so saying ‘but she shouldn’t have been drunk’ is still blaming the victim because it overlooks the fact that you don’t have to be drunk to rape or be raped.
you and kc454 seem to be engaging in a sort of magical thinking, where ‘good’ behavior will help prevent bad things from happening to you. Doesn’t happen that way in real life.
Yes alcohol is a separate issue. In fact, I already said that myself, but how does that mean that it is not an issue at all? It is an issue that needs to be addressed and not overlooked.
“Good” behavior won’t prevent bad things from happening to you, but smart and thoughtful choices will lessen the chances that something bad will happen. That is certainly not magical, it is common sense. Are you actually encouraging young people to go out and get falling down, sloppy, blackout drunk? Do you think that is smart, safe, ok? I think it is more fanciful to think that you have absolutely no measure of agency in your own security; of course you can do everything “right” and still have bad things happen to you, but does that suggest you shouldn’t even make the effort?
How is knowingly involving ones self with rapists and murderers the same as going to a HS party and being drugged? I missed the connection, sorry.
Congratulations on maintaining classic victim-blaming mentality.
I really hope you don’t have daughters.
That’s disgusting ure talking about a 16 year old that’s a child . I m sure u didn’t make perfect choices in UR teens .
@jenny: “Are you actually encouraging young people to go out and get falling down, sloppy, blackout drunk? Do you think that is smart, safe, ok? ”
But I didn’t say that. Your reasoning and arguments are faulty and misleading. In the end, no matter how much you try to sound reasonable You Are Still Blaming The Victim.
But for some reason you can’t admit to yourself that’s what you are doing, because that would be wrong. But it’s what you’re doing.
I am not blaming the victim. The only time I even mentioned the victim in my comments was to reference the fact that being extremely drunk always puts you in a compromised situation, male or female, young or old. Please do not tell me what I feel and what I said.
I have been discussing the culture of drinking that exists with teenagers today and that leads to other more high risk and dangerous behavior. I have not been talking specifically about rape, but all of the consequences of drinking in excess.
If you truly disagree with the concept I put forth, then you are saying it is a smart, safe choice to drink to excess, because my only claim has been that it is not.
When I was young I did not always make great decisions in this regard. Drinking and partying were a huge part of the social scene. A good amount of how cool you were had to do with how “hard” you could party. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way that there can be consequences to not being proactive about your own safety, even if you think you are just partying with friends. There will not always be some one to protect you and I wish I had had someone to tell me the harsh reality, so I could have made better informed decisions, even at that young age.
Jenny the fact of the matter is drunk or sober women and girls should be safe from sexual assault and we’re not. No matter how much you push “sobriety equals safety” it’s simply not true. Sober girls also get raped. Blaming alcohol or teen drinking does not address the real issues behind rape and sexual violence. And you very much sound like you are blaming the victim.
You really all seem to be deliberately missing Jenny’s very reasonable point. It’s not the victim’s fault she was raped. It’s also not a good idea to drink til you black out.
Why do people who seemingly have no education feel the need to make effing ridiculous comments about things that they know nothing about nor have any business commenting on?
Indeed. Just because a journalist asks you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it.
Emily don’t blame it on lack of education because there are educated people in the world that has made callous remarks as well. Look at all the dumb shit Donald Trump says.
Serena is just an insensitive ass who needs to keep her damn mouth shut on certain topics. I’m sure if it was someone in her family she would be singing a different tune.
Right, but I guess Serena isn’t well educated either? She seems super dumb and bitchy.
I’ll never understand why some people – ESPECIALLY WOMEN – think it’s the victim’s fault.
Because everybody likes to think their opinions matter a lot. I never understand people who open their mouths to say dumb shit only. It’s like, do yourself a favor and just listen.
OH NO SHE DIDN’T.
It’s moments like this when I see how far we have to go.
This sickens me.
As a survivor of a sexual assault (I dont like the r word bc it pains me still)…I will be teaching my two sons about how to truly be a man. Men dont r*pe women. They dont take advantage of situations of any kind.. and they help those that cant help themselves.
I pray my two boys will grow up to protect women and respect them in every situation if needed.
I’m so sorry for what you endured.
My first thought upon reading the idiocy which belched out of her mouth was similar to yours- that hubs & I need to specifically instill these lessons in our two sons as they approach adolescence.
I wish all the best for you.
here here mommak918, I am right there with you on raising two boys to respect women, and therefore themselves . . .
Props mommak18. Keep your head up
Well F-CK YOU Serena!
NOTHING gives a person the right to rape someone. NOTHING!
Well put Maria
Much less get away with it. ITA.
Well said, Maria, well said.
This was such a stupid comment to make. Isn’t Serena a Johavah’s Witness? I think they have some angle that women are the ones who should be responsible for not being raped….like not dressing provocatively and such BS.
But what an awful thing to say, a lot of young girls look up to Serena and for her to say that basically it was the girls fault she was raped is just so dumb.
Serena is basically slut shaming that poor girl. NOT COOL!
Wimbledon press is gonna be fun this year…the press will jump all over this.
Please don’t bring the JW religion into it. She does not represent us or our views.
Wait, I didn’t mean it to sound offensive to all in the faith. I was just mentioning that she was in the religion and is a very strict follower so in that context her comments kind of followed what she believes.
I really didn’t mean to generalise about everyone in the JW religion.
+1.
@ Kvan : I can appreciate what you’re saying. I was raised catholic and now attend a baptist church. It works for me. But no religious group is one uniform mass of people that move as one. So, yeah, I can sympathize with how you feel. Not everyone wearing a cross speaks for me either.
Thank you McCraw. JWs don’t condone rape or blame the victim. And Serena and her sister haven’t been active JWs in years!! Just because you say you are of a certain faith doesn’t mean you live it or practice it. She certainly doesn’t represent us at all!
I’ve read many of the scriptures relating to this for a religion class and yes, this does exist in JW.
Sure, maybe not every person follows/believes but it’s definitely in there…
“Thus if a Christian woman does not cry out and does not put forth every effort to flee, she would be viewed as consenting to the violation.”
Wow that’s…hard to accept. Is there anything about Christian men getting raped? I’m not trying to stir up anger, im wondering if the bible acknowledges that men can get raped too.
Women defending rape makes my blood boil.
Let me share something. I college, with trusted friends and I got drugged, raped. Woke up somewhere in the middle of it and fought back as much as I could in the state I was in. He was so much stronger and I just cried, zoned out, and waited for it to be over. I had handprint bruises and a fractured nose by the end of it.
Just because you don’t scream for help doesn’t mean by default that you want it! You go into a state of shock and survival mode.
On top of all of this if a woman chooses to report it that’s a whole new kind of hell. The victim is attacked up and down and often the prosecutor will try them on a lesser charge that gets an easier conviction and keeps the victim off the stand so they’re not attacked again. So it’s bad enough to go through all of that. Have your friends call you a slut, be completely alone, and then have someone who doesn’t know you speak to the media about how you weren’t raped in their opinion. Ugh!
@Tulip: That snippet does not appear anywhere in the Bible. Those verses are add ons by the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
FLORC: So sorry to read that happened to you. I hope you’ve been able to put it behind you and be happy.
Bluhare
Thanks. It gets better with time. That and I transferred colleges for a year until he moved away. Got rid of all my friends that blamed me, and just focused on me. I do still have the occasional flashback, but it doesn’t turn me into a wreck anymore. I have a husband a house and a great job as a nurse where I can help others. It certainly helped me find a more fulfilling path, but I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy and can’t understand why women are so quick to blame the victim.
@FLORC: I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m so sorry that happened to you. Also: You had friends that blamed YOU?? Seriously?!? What the hell is wrong with this world…
Lizzie, I understand what you were saying and what you meant by it. She is absolutely JW and does interviews where she speaks of representing her faith. And yes, from what I can tell, their scripture does (pretty much) make it the woman’s fault.
Hey, I’m Baptist & there are LOTS of crazies that make me think “sheesh, this is what everyone thinks when I say what church I attend.” So,@Kvan, I understand what you mean by that, as well. Who are we to quantify any group based on the ridiculous statements of one person.
No no no. I wasn’t going to comment until I saw this ridiculousness.
The bible talks about modesty. So, JWs teach modesty in dress and in personal character. It has nothing to do with avoiding rape and blaming the woman if said rape finds her. Women are taught to take their safety into their own hands, precisely because we live in a rape culture, where men can be like animals and avoid any unwanted attention. Has nothing to do with the reasons you stated. Now someone as misguided as Serena may read that and twist it to blame the woman, but that does not mean that’s the message JWs are sending.
And I would not call Serena Williams a devout Witness, whether or not she talks about it. Too many blinds about her debauchery.
I’m a baptist too. That’s all.
@Mcraw: It’s important for everyone to know- whether you’re a Jehovah’s Witness, a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, agnostic, whatever- that dressing modestly does not protect women or girls from rape, just as wearing revealing clothes doesn’t cause men to rape. There’s so much evidence that proves the ‘what kind of clothing was she wearing’ argument wrong.
Unfortunately, there are many conservative/religious people (and some not so religious or conservative people) who use the clothing angle as a scare tactic to coerce women into dressing modestly. It’s about policing and controlling female sexuality.
@Blaize yes, I do know that. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been hit on most aggressively when I’m covered in baggy clothes. So I personally know that attire has nothing to do with whether or not someone is harassed or raped. I was specifically replying to someone above who misrepresented specific JW text and beliefs all cuza crazy Serena. Modesty is more than what you wear, it’s character too and all of that is in the bible, not some random JW-specific teaching. So every bible based religion (should) values modesty for men and women. And I wouldn’t say the bible is controlling of female sexuality. It recommends that all persons, man or woman, show restraint in expressing sexual desires outside of marriage because most times, the bad outweighs the good. Heartbreak, STI’s, unwanted pregnancies, etc all from unfaithful, unmarried partners. It’s not foolproof, but the bible serves as a guide to finding personal peace most easily. Well, at least for me 😀
Modesty in dress is not protective against unwanted sexual attention from men. I’ve always been fully covered in loose clothing (can’t stand anything tight and I burn rather than tan). Never made any difference at all with coworkers or strangers on the street. I still couldn’t walk down the main street of a rather small town (just barely in the city category with a downtown of about four blocks tops) without men yelling sexual insults at me from cars at least once every half hour. Intersections were especially bad if I had to wait for a light change. Several times I needed to go into a store or a neighbor’s house just to make sure they couldn’t follow me home (the cats are fierce with rodents, but wouldn’t be much help against anything bigger). There were plenty of ugly incidents at work or school also. The problem is not how women dress, it’s what is acceptable for male behavior in the culture. For every guy who does such things, there are many other guys who watch in silence or make approving noises.
Wimbledon press will likely not care – it is totally irrelevant to tennis and her game… Serena’s a great player, despite her old-fashioned (ie: gross) comment.
But coming from here in Ohio, sadly too many people would agree with this notion. Ugh! But I still love Serena as a tennis player, and what she does for the game.
@coe the tennis press are already all over this! It’s a small enough sport that everything gets analysed to death!. She’s gonna be asked about it at her champ presser next week.
Jesus Christ. This is absolutely terrible. Serena should know better- society isn’t going to change its stance on victim blaming and all of the other negative views of women who are raped if celebrities are talking like this!!
I used to really like Serena and I always enjoyed watching her games. I will never support her again. Her sponsors should drop this rape apologist!
This is a classic case of “stupid undereducated people don’t become smart just because you put a tennis racket-football-baseball-etc. in their hands”. STFU, honey. Yes, you have worked hard for your accomplishments BUT …. you are still a dumb girl who’s famous and rich. And if you accept that and stop trying to “explain” yourself, we would all be better off. Pits, now I can’t enjoy watching her play tennis anymore because all I will hear is those stupid comments.
and that’s the reason why you shouldn’t ask this dumb chick on steroids any questions that have nothing to do with tennis.
Serena,
Stick to tennis and STFU!!!!
Way to go Serena…blame the victim, sorta? just be quiet
“I’m not blaming the girl, but [goes on to blame the girl].”
Shut up, Serena.
Also, Serena’s in denial if she thinks Maria can’t get into the “cool parties”.
I don’t give a rat’s ass about that Tennis girl drama. They are grown women acting like a 12 year old.
Now what in the heck was she drinking when she made those comments about the rape victim. Really she needs to go and talk to victims and educate herself. There is nothing a woman can do that should ever make it OK to rape her. Men are not animals. they have a brain and morals to tell them it is WRONG. She needs to STFU and stop. It was extremely offensive. And I really hope women groups come down on her hard.
I hope she is never in a position where someone says.. I’m not blaming Serena but….
I’m not blaming the girl, but it’s her fault bc she drank
I’m not blaming the girl, but it’s her fault bc she went to a party
I’m not blaming the girl, but it’s her fault bc she was a non-virgin slut
I’m not blaming the girl, and she got lucky that she was only gang-raped and video-taped in the process, and her rapists will be home free in year, while she will have a lifetime of trauma.
WTF, WORLD?
I mean when will us women stop putting ourselves in such dangerous situations? We know that the menfolk can’t control themselves when we’re walking around being all sexy like. We need to get our shit together.
FML shit like this from women really makes my head hurt.
It’s the myth of ‘nice smart girls don’t do X and get raped, I’ve never been raped, so I’m a nice smart girl and those girls that get raped are all sluts’ mentality that I’ve never been able to grasp. It’s a myth.
You’re much more likely to be raped by the ‘good friend’ that you trusted to drive you home after a beer, than if you are stumbling drunk down a alley outside a bar. It’s a depressing stat that I just don’t think these people get.
She says they made a ‘stupid mistake’????????
This was no mistake….. You don’t, over the period of several hours, continually rape and photograph a severely drunk-to-the-point-of-unconsciousness teenage girl and then once you get caught say it was a terrible mistake.
You apologise over and over and over, admit that what you did was absolutely terribly wrong and accept your punishment.
So many people didn’t understand that this was rape – to most people, rape means screaming/fighting/resisting. They don’t understand that severe intoxication/inability to consent by being UNCONSCIOUS means a rape is occurring. Disgusting.
This!! I feel actually physically ill now looking at her smug face.
It’s going to be really hard to change the culture that laughs at rape when even women minimize it or blame it on the victim.
I’ve never been a fan of Serena’s since she went off on that bigoted rant against the Asian-American judge at the U.S. Open. This interview does not make me fonder of her at all.
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Just maybe Serena should abide by this quote because I have no idea why she would say something so dumb and insensitive (especially since she’s a woman).
I just hate when people especially women slut-sham and victim-blame other women. All you do is put(majority of)blame on the woman for being raped/assaulted and the man is mostly absolved from any wrong doing.
Hey, I’m all for reminding girls to always be safe, and not trust everybody and never take drinks from strangers, and not walk by themselves at night, and never get passed out drunk, etc etc. but I’m also all for letting victims know that whatever they did IT WAS NOT THEIR FAULT. It’s not their fault there’s rapists in the world, it’s not their fault there’s guys that were not properly raised and guys who don’t know what makes what a rape. I’m all about safety but you know what, sometimes you can take all the precautions you want and it still won’t help because in many of these cases girls know these men and they think they’re safe with them.
Like yeah in the back of your mind you can think, why would she get so drunk? But we’re older, we know better. She’s 16 and she thought these people were her friends. They broke that trust. I don’t think there was anything she could’ve done and not have the same outcome because this people planned her attack. They were going to get her.
Also WTF at this people having more sympathy for the jerks who thought it was cool to gang rape a girl and brag about it on FB than for the actual VICTIM??
But hey, Serena is just a product of a very sexist society. It does rub off on some people, sadly.
Absolutely. We need to educate girls about safety and using good judgement. But if you see a story like this, and your first reaction is not “Oh my God, that poor girl,” but “Those poor guys, that girl was stupid,” there’s something really wrong with that.
I don’t understand how people have ANY sympathy for these boys.
My parents drilled it into my head from a really young age not to ever leave a drink unattended, or take one from someone. I didn’t actually start drinking until University, though I’m sure if I had had a different crowd of friends (none of us were partiers) I’d have been drinking younger.
Even when I went to the city for a concert a couple months ago, my fiance wouldn’t even let me walk to the bathroom alone. He’d stand outside and wait for me to come out, because I was relatively drunk.
But even if I hadn’t had someone telling me those things, or someone watching out for me, I shouldn’t HAVE to feel afraid. There’s nothing that can EVER validate rape, and there are no circumstances where the attacker should have a large amount of sympathy thrown their way. The fact that they try to twist it to make it sound like it’s the girls fault makes me sick.
Should she have been drinking underage? No. Should she have gotten passed out drunk? No. Should she have been raped? F— no! If I EVER have a son, and he did something like that, you BET I’d be there demanding charges be pressed, and he be punished to the full extent.
Yes, I’m the black sheep in my family and don’t drink alcohol at all since I was old enough to “just say no” to the diluted wine mom made us drink at special dinners (yuck yuck yuck). In grad school, my roommate laughed when I refused to drink the “non-alcoholic punch” served at a department get-together. Until she did partake and ended up drunk…. I knew that some idiots would think it great fun to spike the punch with some of that 200 proof pure ethanol from the chemistry stockroom. Never trust anybody in such things. I wouldn’t even take a glass of water unless I saw it taken from the tap or poured from a newly opened bottle.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing right after the verdict, Candy Crawley (sp?) was going on and on and on about sympathy for these boys futures, which were once so promising. Not one word about sympathy for the victim. It was disgusting, and I will certainly never look at her or Serena the same.
When I was 16 I had friends over after school and we all started drinking. I drank way too much and started to black out and vomit all over myself. The bad boy football player offered to take me upstairs and clean me up in the bathroom, and one of my female acquaintances followed. He tried to take my clothes off and claimed he was going to put me in the tub to clean me off but my friend pulled my shirt back down and fought with him to leave. 2 weeks later, he raped another intoxicated girl in the woods (and everyone blamed her for being “a drunken slut”). I’m so grateful to that girl for helping me, when all of my other friends left me alone with that rapist. I’ve heard about him since high school and he’s been in and out of jail. He even kidnapped an ex, tied her up and held her hostage in a hotel room for days. I feel awful for the girl he raped and I’m sure I would have been called a drunken slut too (even though I was still a virgin). Rape culture indicates that a reason would have been found to make that scenario my fault. What I did was dumb and irresponsible, but it wasn’t invitation for violation.
I don’t understand why their actions weren’t seen as a serious thing that should have them trying to explain themselves and apologizing for the rest of their lives. They raped an unconscious girl, it’s a no-brainer that this was not consensual sex. They knew it was rape, bragged about it, and spread pictures around. If they had stabbed somebody with a knife, no one would be worrying about their futures.
@Annie and @Faye, I commented further up, but you two have expressed my feelings much more eloquently than I did.
“She’s 16 and she thought these people were her friends. They broke that trust.”
Exactly. Yeah, teach her don’t drink around strangers, absolutely, but these were people she knew as FRIENDS. It’s not like she ever thought this would happen to her. And we know a lot of women get raped by people they know and trusted once.
Yeah, most rapes happen between people who know each other: uncles, friends, boyfriends, husbands. And they happen in previously assumed “safe” homes. People still don’t know squat about rape.
And I get why people would be so frustrated by her drinking and partying so young. I personally never understand why some people need to get black out drunk, male or female, because you lose your ability to protect yourself, etc. I get that. But you don’t yell at a girl that it was her fault after such a traumatic event TO HER. You’re supposed to help her move forward, not feel worse. At the end of the day, these guys were determined to hurt her. They had planned it. They were going to do something to her regardless of her drinking.
Yes, let’s remind girls to be safe. But if something happens, blame the rapist and his family who failed to raise him properly. Not a girl whose only mistake was that she thought she could trust them.
totally agree with you, Annie.
I have no words except for: piss off, Serena Williams!
Yeah, whatever. Easy opinion to have when you haven’t been assaulted yourself.
It makes me sick and angry that people think this way.
That poor girl not only had to endure rape she also has to hear ” celebrities” blame her for it. Sick.
+1. Heartless and stupid.
Any time you beginning a sentence with the phrase “I’m not saying X, but….”
whether it be racist, I’m not blaming her, mad, etc…it’s just not going to end well.
And for christ’s sake she describes her as lucky. I just can’t. Nope. Nope
This will surely prove to be unpopular, but I don’t entirely disagree with her sentiments. Girls SHOULD be taught to always, always, always put their safety first, because regrettably, there are a ton of people out there who wish to deny them that safety. Just don’t put yourself in a position where your safety is compromised and keep your wits about you.
Having said all that, it’s easier said than done. The world has changed a lot since I was a teenager (not *that* long ago!) and not for the better. There’s a level of cruelty and disregard amongst teenagers for both their peers and their elders (gosh, just aged myself with that one) that I’ve never witnessed before.
Serena Williams’ problem here seems to be that age old “Why are you asking a sports star a highly charged socio-political question in which her on-the-fly answer will be parsed into a single quote and undoubtedly taken out of context?” There was no way for her to answer that question thoughtfully – with whatever edits the publication saw fit to make to it – without coming off like an uninformed boob who condones rape. So having said all THAT, maybe she should have declined to answer.
Except we already are taught that. It’s drilled into women at a young age. Over and over again. Don’t wear this, you’ll be safe. Don’t get drunk and be in a bad situation, you’ll be safe. Don’t do this you’ll be safe. And yet this stuff happens over and over again to women in all kinds of situations where they were ‘safe’. The discussion also needs to be teaching men ‘don’t rape’. It’s depressing how many guys think a drunk/passed out person is able to consent. Or that a short skirt or having breasts is asking for it. In 2013.
It’s a discussion that’s better to have as a whole for society, but it comes off as victim blaming when it’s applied to one case or one person. Every rape victim already thinks to themselves, what if I had done X or Y? Could I have prevented this? What did I do wrong? Someone looking at them and they starting a discussion with “i’m not blaming the girl but…” and “they did something stupid” isn’t having a thoughtful discussion. It’s just victim blaming.
Regarding your quote:Serena Williams’ problem here seems to be that age old “Why are you asking a sports star a highly charged socio-political question in which her on-the-fly answer will be parsed into a single quote and undoubtedly taken out of context?”
She wasn’t asked this question, she brought it up on her own with the journalist b/c they were watching the news about it.
Countless times at parties, I saw drunk guys passed out.. the worst to happen might be someone drawing on their face.
Imagine an opportunist rapist comes along and anally/orally rapes that male while he is passed out…. The news reports would say nothing about it being the victim’s fault. Males are LUCKY they don’t have to worry about things like that most of the time. Maybe they should think about how they’d feel if someone did do this to them, then take that fear and use it to help make the world safer for women. Don’t laugh when your friends tell stories about a girl being ‘so drunk’ but screwing her anyway. Object when they tell you things like this. Tell them it’s wrong. Maybe you’ll be unpopular for a while but get over it.
I 100% agree with you on the need to teach girls common sense and self-protective behavior. BUT, Serena’s reaction was not, “Oh, that poor girl. If only she’d been a little smarter, this could have been prevented.” Her reaction was to make it seem as if the girl was at fault here. She seemed to be showing sympathy for the guys who did this!
Also, if your first reaction is to point to the victim’s possible lack of judgement and not to feel pity at such a horrible attack, or to condemn the rapists, that in itself says something about you.
As a girl you can act as safe as possible and still get assaulted. It happens everywhere, even in countries where women aren´t allowed to wear revealing clothing or drink.
They only way as a society to prevent our daughters from getting raped is to teach our boys to respect girls as persons and don´t look at the them as a collection of fuckholes, or their bodies as something they are entitled to. IMO it should be taught along with sex ed in school.
Rape is a consequence of sexism, misogynysm not lack of safety.
Well said.
Very well said.
Well put, Stella!
Excellent and very well stated post.
Sandra
I was with trusted good friends and I was brutally drugged and raped by one of them. I was only going to sip half a beer and leave. Girls can take all the precautions in the world, but if a guy wants to rape them he will. Then he can call the girl a slut or deny and he’s off the hook. There’s such a stigma attached to reporting and claiming rape. And such a double edge sword when society breaks down the details of both people. It’s traumatic to be raped, but it’s worse to relive it when you have to report it and tell what happened in details you just want to erase from your memory to a dozen different people.
That’s terrible, FLORC.
Serena Williams opened her mouth and toads fell out.
Oh, if you want to read something about this from someone with a clue, Henry Rollins is the guy. God bless him. http://www.underthegunreview.net/2013/03/18/henry-rollins-comments-on-steubenville-rape-verdict/
Who is this Henry Rollins guy? That was brilliant.
He sang for Black Flag. These days he does spoken word / stand up shows. Look him up on YouTube, it’s great stuff.
That’s just brilliant. Eloquent, educated and. above all, some excellent solutions to a huge problem.
Damn, what a GREAT article! Thanks for posting that link. It’s a shame he didn’t get the publicity this idiot will.
@feebee, What?!? You don’t know who Henry Rollins is??? He was the singer of one of the greatest punk bands of all time…Black Flag!!
AWESOME. Thank you for that link.
I loved this: “It is obvious that the two offenders saw the victim as some one that could be treated as a thing. This is not about sex, it is about power and control. I guess that is what I am getting at. Sex was probably not the hardest thing for the two to get, so that wasn’t the objective. When you hear the jokes being made during the crime, it is the purest contempt.”
Henry Rollins is a famous musician, Feebee
My sincere apologies to you and Morticians, punk isn’t really on my radar. However I have heard of Black Flag. I may not be such a fan of his music, but I am now a fan of what he has to say. Thanks for filling me in… God I feel like a dick :/ 🙂
“In the spirit of equal time, sites like Huffington Post should have sections for male anatomy hanging out instead of just the idiotic celebrity “side boob” and “nip slip” camera ops. I have no idea what that would be like to have a camera in my face at every turn, looking for “the” shot. I know what some of you are saying. “Then why do they wear clothes like that unless they want those photos taken?” I don’t know what to tell ya. Perhaps just don’t take the fuckin picture? Evolve? I don’t know.”
Brilliant. I had no idea that Henry Rollins was such a great thinker and writer. I’m a new fan. He would enjoy this equal opportunity website. LOL
Henry Rollins is one of the brighter stars in my personal solar system. He’s fearless, thoughtful and profoundly decent.
Holy mother of .. :O What a stupid, ignorant belch of shit she let out there. No respect from here ever again.
Hahaha belch of shyt I love it u just gave me life
“Do you think it was fair, what they got? They did something stupid, but I don’t know.”
They did something stupid? Gang raping a girl and then humiliate her on social media is not a stupid prank, it is a disgusting crime.
Also no it wasn´t fair what they got, they should have gotten much more, 10-15 years not just 1 and 2.
Ugh.
They got only 2 years?!?!
What a sad world we live in.
Serena is an idiot and she should bare consequences for what she said.
I literally could not believe the verdicts…
Tried as juveniles – ridiculous!
This was a heinous crime and they deserved to be hit with the full force of the consequences. These were not 12 year olds, they were almost 18 years old.
They didn’t get nearly enough time. However I suspect if they had been tried as adults, they wouldn’t have gotten any. Rape culture is so incredibly pervasive.
Yeah, that’s the phrase right there that does the most harm. “Do you think it’s fair? Blah blah blah some stupid mistake, poor boys!”
I wonder why that’s not fair? Is it fair that this girl made the “stupid mistake” of getting too drunk, and then everyone felt they could just rail on her, film it, and then use it to humiliate her? I don’t understand how her mistake could possibly be misconstrued as stupider than theirs. Hers was ACTUALLY A MISTAKE, you know? They made a conscious decision to put her through this. They knew it was wrong, damn straight they did.
I wonder what would have happened if just one person in the room had the courage to call these stupid bastards out. Everyone knew this was wrong. Everyone still knows it. It’s called mass denial. By focusing on what the girl could have done differently, they diminish the boys’ part until it’s all boiled down to a “mistake”.
I cannot stand this stupid, biblical mentality than men are brutes who will do what they do because they can’t control themselves and it’s our fault if we provoke them. Do the men you know feel that way? Completely out of control, unable to stifle their sexual urges? Nobody I know acts or seems to feel that way. But if they assault someone, suddenly that’s the case. F*cking disgusting.
The sentencing is just another shining example of the complete perversion of justice in America.
Unfortunately, I don´t even think they knew they did something wrong. Lots of men/boys still have a misguided feeling of entitlement when it comes to female bodies. She blacked out, wasn´t able to say no, therefore it was their “right” to use her body. Considering how the media threw a pity party for those celebrated high school athletes, the victim blaming that went down afterwards, enforced that rape culture even further.
Also I always have to laugh when men claim their are a slave to their sexual urge, but at the same time they are supposed to be the ones in charge in society, because they are logical, rational thinkers whereas women are controlled by their hormones and therefore not able to be in a leading position. Talk about double standards.
I also felt they should have prosecuted the other teens that filmed and spread the video and pictures over social media if not as accessories then under the new bullying laws those kids knew it was wrong to
@Stella Maybe I’m sheltered. I just can’t imagine the mindset of anybody who thinks this was okay. I always think that they must know somewhere, deep down, that this was wrong, wrong, wrong.
@Diva, I don’t understand why they weren’t prosecuted for distributing child pr0nography either.
this dude needs to shut the eff up!
exactly! Also, best comment I’ve seen.
OMFG.
I truly don’t understand how anyone could think that way, especially a woman. I wish someone could sit her and others who think like her down and explain why it’s so wrong, and that teaching young women to be smart and safe is important, but vastly secondary to teaching young men NOT TO RAPE.
How messed up in the head do you have to be to not get that???
Disgusting she can go choke on a tennis ball. It is this attitude that makes men think its ok, this whole culture of the responsibility falling in the hands of victims normalizes their actions. FK THAT. I come from south africa a women is raped every 26 seconds, i know how damaging rape culture is.
I’m beyond disgusted.
The girl was SET UP by her friend (who was working with her ex bf).
A friend she thought she could TRUST!!
I hope Nike drops her.
I’m sick to my stomach.
Victim blaming is bad enough but when it comes from a fellow woman???
What is this world coming to??
To anyone reading this, it is NOT your fault. It took me a long time to come to terms with this. But please please remember it’s not your fault.
*hug*
If you would talk to your daughter about safety, talk to your son about CONSENT.
We need to have as much if not more education and messages aimed at our young men!!!
I am embarrassed on Serena Williams’ behalf for saying such deeply stupid things.
So much ignorance and spite in one statement.
WHAT THE F***?? Shame on you, Serena! You’re the most dumbest, stupidiest, b!cthiest person in this world.
I can’t believe people like her exists in this world. People who blame the rape victim for their rape. For God’s sake, which woman would want to be raped? Talking about being a virgin or not, it doesn’t matter. A Rape is a Rape. Unforgivable henious offence!
I feel so sorry for this 16 year old girl. I felt shiver run down my back when I read she was being raped and people around her were giving updates about it rather than saving her. This article reminded me of this gang-rape happened in my country last December. The rapists shoved an iron rod inside the girl’s v@g1na after raping her. Took out intestine… That girl is no more.
I had a hard time forgetting that incidence.
This sort of crap makes me rage.
I’m so tired of people expressing concern over the rapists future. Those two rapists made a decision to rape another person. They alone ruined their future.
It is ridiculous that the expectation for a girl/woman who drinks too much is rape or sexual assault. While expectation for a boy/man who drinks is a comedic outcome.
If a man had said this it would be on national news. all day long. Serena is a woman and that make it worst to me.
why do women constantly shade other women. I guess all that Girl Power only matters if you are drinking together or bitching about other women or talking about fashion.
It’s on GMA right now. So I guess that is something.
Victim blaming, Serena? No. Doesn’t matter what that girl did or didn’t do, those boys should have never put themselves in the position to rape her.
Anybody who says “I’m not blaming the girl, but…” is blaming the girl.
I’m not saying she’s an a*hole, *but* it would have been nice if she thought before speaking.
Ha ha, good one.
But just the fact that she even thinks like that, that anybody could think like that is terrifying.
It was a play on her quote.
Yeah, I got that, but the fact that a thought like that could form in someones mind amazes me. She should be somehow punished for these comments.
I hope people gave her shit for what she said, and that she has to apologize. It’s so wrong on many levels. The poor girl, what happened to her is awful and she is blaming the victim, wtf? What a dumb and terrible comment and mentality. Just shut up already.
Well let’s hope Ms. Williams never gets drunk, never is in the wrong place at the wrong time and is never drugged via iced tea.
Should young ladies realize people will take advantage of them sexually – yes. Will being drunk make it easier – yes
Must you have some sexual predator available there to make it happen – YES!
Do women of all shapes, sizes and ages get assaulted – yes. Do they get assaulted by the same sexual power hungry deviants – yes.
WTH did Rolling Stone think they needed to print this now?
Rapists are everywhere – not just strangers but parents, partners, siblings, family, friends. Sadly for loads of rape victims, being in the ‘wrong place’ was being in their own home or the home of a trusted friend/family member.
I suppose we women should live alone locked inside an impenetrable fortress… only then will we be safe! Seems far more reasonable than instilling the idea into men that rape is 100% wrong and disgusting.
Emily I totally agree, does the 5 yr old raped by her father have it coming? Is she damned because she just shouldn’t have been born into that family?
I wonder what Serena thinks about sexually molested little boys.
I know one thing, she has a “fashion’ line (doesn’t everyone) and it will never see any support from me.
Sadly even being locked up at home doesn’t help. My 80 something year old grandmother in law was subjected to not one but several home invasions and indecent assaults by the same man until he was finally caught. She refused to move as she wanted to reclaim her home but it was horrific all around. Apparently according to some of the posters here she was asking for it by not leaving or not…. I have no idea. I’d like them to think about looking at a sweet 80 year old grandmother who is a repeated victim of r*pe and violence and tell her how she brought it on herself because that’s exactly what they’re doing to this girl.
OMFG. SHE DID NOT JUST BLAME THAT GIRL.
just NO.
not only do we need to teach boys about what consent is, what acting like a decent human being is, we need to teach athletes they are not GODS and aren’t entitled as such.
b¡tch needs to take a whole row of seats.
what a vile, POS comment.
Yeah THIS.
I think Kaiser worded it perfectly when she said that we’re teaching young women: “don’t get raped” and sending the message that the onus is on THEM instead of teaching our young MEN that a woman’s body is not available for the taking, regardless of what condition she’s in.
+1
The complete over idolization of athletes contributes HEAVILY to the problem. I can’t remember the last time someone lamented the future of a rapist who wasn’t an athlete.
Absolutely.
SEE: Kobe Bryant
Is that an American thing? Glorifying athletes in high school?
Because in my country sports is parted from school, so it’s not celebrated unless it’s on an professional level. Being state champion in, say maths is much more valued than being state champion in basketball.
@Spooks,
Yes, over-glorifying athletes is pervasive in the US to the point where it is sickening. Even high school athletes, where sports are a direct part of the school and bring in money (and glory) if the sports team is good enough. At many schools, the smart kids are ridiculed by the more popular jocks.
Like O-Kitten and I mentioned, there are few other people who get a complete pass for something such as rape. If these boys weren’t football stars at their school, the backlash wouldn’t have been nearly as bad against her, nor would there be so many apologists.
I think it’s pathetic, disgusting, and perverse, and I wish our country was like yours in this way. Where are you from?
I’m from Croatia. The funny thing is, our sport results are amazing for such a small country.
I agree, that sounds horrible. I mean, you see it in teen movies, but I always thought it was exaggerated. As someone who was fat, wore glasses, was a straight A student and a member of the chemistry and biology club, high school wouldn’t be that great in the US. Meanwhile here, high school was awesome. Great people and I didn’t even get teased a bit.
The fact that someone would give these monsters a pass no matter what they do or who they are is scary.
So rape is the victims fault and rapists are only guilty of doing something stupid not commiting a violent crime. I hate to think of the girls who admire this woman who might take these statements to heart.
Oh how easily those words fell from her mouth. What a massive disappointment, not that I had high expectations to dash but…. Jesus, what kind of woman comes out and says that…. educate yourself Serena, tennis troubles are not real life troubles.
And while I’m normally neutral in matches Williams v Sharapova cos they both annoy me, I think I’ve just found someone to root for now.
Ah, the Ryan Lochte of tennis.
I get that her brain is also all muscles.
He is a harmless idiot.
What she is doing undermines whatever little progress had been made in regards to understanding rape in our society.
There are already so many people who try excuse rape as not important or a simple ‘mistake’ – we don’t need respected famous people giving it credibility.
Agree.
I’ve read about this case from CB. I found it disgusting that noone worried about that girl’s future. She must be all over I’net, there’s no hiding place for her. She might need lifelong therapy.
I’ve already written in my agenda “concent” and “underage sex” and “condoms-always” I can onbly hope my sons will take it to heart when they discover girls.
She’s just dumb.
One movie she should watch to “educate” herself, “the Accused” with Jodie Foster (1988)
I was raped, twice, and I can’t stand people who give excuses to the dirtbags who does that. The fact that it comes from a “woman” makes it even worse.
I am sorry, Internet hugs.
I’m sorry, SBJ!
SBJ
I’m sort of glad people are sharing about their horrible experiences so that more people can see how common it is since it’s not always reported. At the same time though I hate to know how many people here have experienced sexual assault.
I never understood why women attack women that stand up and say they were raped. It’s just pouring salt in a wound.
Thanks to all of you. Maybe it’s easier for me to talk about them because it was 20 years ago for the first one and more than five years ago for the second one and I kind of made my peace with them. I didn’t forgot er forgot, I accepted that it is part of my past and I can’t let them win.
She was stupid and I don’t care if she apologised since, it’s not something to say. No woman or young girl deserve to live that. That’s why I took this movie as an example. No woman “ask for it”. Never.
That movie has me in tears every time I see it
I also am all about educating girls on self defense and being smart That’s why in college, I never drank at parties. I had too many friends who were assaulted and never reported it.
However, when will our society teach BOY’S about this? You never hear “No means no” anymore. They need to be held as accountable. The responsibilities shouldn’t fall just on our daughters. This is something that should be addressed in school, at home, in the media.
I have three daughters, and this terrifies me.
What a stupid bitch! i cant stand rape apologists. dont give these people the excuses that they want. 0n a sidenote, do you all see why i cant stand slut shamimg? why its my pet peeve and i will call it out wherever i see it, even here? among other things, its connected to victim blaming.
Jesus, Serena. FFS. I hate when athletes I like to watch and root for open their mouths and ignorance and idiocy spew out. Disgusting. Ignorant. Disappointing.
‘She’s lucky’ sure, luckiest girl ever. I want to punch her.She sure said a bunch of BS.
Aside from that I get the feeling that Serena Williams is really a b++tch.
I’m not blaming the victim, but……I’m blaming the victim.
This is always a disgusting thing to say, doubly so when it comes out of the mouth of another woman.
Odd how no one says: men shouldn’t be raping anyone ever and we need to educate boys and men to act like civilized human beings.
First she implies the girl was slipped a date rape drug. Then she questions why the girl couldn’t remember?
Yeah, not a critical thinker that one.
The accused: Well, gee, mom, the girl was passed out drunk, so we dragged her, while unconcious, into a room and had fun assaultng her, while another guy was videotaping his boasting about the excitement of the event to document this proud moment for us all. Why are they making us look like rapists and animals on the news and arresting us?
Mom: My poor baby. You’re the victims, not the drunk, passed-out girl who tempted you sweet boys into dragging her into another room for just a little fun. She deserved it for being drunk. Boys will be boys.
Shut up, Serena.
This makes me sick and so angry. I hope all young girls who look up to her understand that what she is saying is wrong. No one ever deserves to be raped or assaulted EVER.
As a mother of an 8 year old boy, I have already started talking to him about never touching or kissing someone who doesn’t want to be. He knows that hitting a girl is one of the worst things a boy can do. As he gets older this conversation will obviously get more detailed but it will be an ongoing conversation and will be drilled into him that no means no and not being able (ie too drunk) to say yes or no also means NO.
Good for you. I hardly hear anyone speak of having this conversation with boys.
Serena comments are about responsibility. Underage parties should be supervised. Parents should TEACH their sons and daughters about the dangers of drinking and drugs especially if they are present at parties. That rape would have never occurred if the parents had been present and no alcohol was served. Don’t expect teens to act like grownups and show responsibility when the adults didn’t.
You know betty, it’s possible no adults knew about the party. Did you go to a lot of supervised parties in HS? I don’t think I ever even heard of a single one.
This is what kids do behind their parents’ backs.
Edited to add: As Masque said, she was drugged as well, set up by a “friend” even, but that’s rarely brought up.
@betty: You’re no better than she is.
First of all, not raping someone has nothing to do with ‘being a grownup’ v.s. being a teen. 17 is definitely old enough to know not to rape and that rape is amoral. Hell, there are 12-year-olds that know better! There are plenty of decent teenage/preteen boys who would never do something like that, and there are also plenty of ‘grownups’ who do commit rape. Age is not even remotely an excuse.
Second, there’s no guarantee that the rape would not have happened if they hadn’t been drinking. If you look up more information about the case, you’ll learn that the boys had demonstrated misogynistic and rapist mentalities even while SOBER. So even if they hadn’t raped that particular girl, they could have just as easily raped some other girl. The problem is with THEM, not the girl they raped. And a person can be raped whether they’re sober or drunk.
It’s clear that both you and Serena are either ignorant and have, sadly, been brainwashed by all of our society’s victim-blaming, or you’re both just female misogynists.
Hitting anyone should be emphasised as a NO NO.
It’s not good to grow up thinking women are weak and vulnerable and need protecting. Men shouldn’t be hit either. Everyone is made differently… I know plenty of strong females as well as I know loads of really weak weedy men. Noone deserves violence because of their gender.
Sexual violence, while more common towards women, does happen to men too. Be sure to expand your meanings when your son gets older. No one should ever be humiliated/abused/assaulted etc. Often with boys on boys it’s just passed off as ‘mischief’ or ‘pranks’ but can be just as scarring
I used to love watching tennis. I would follow all of the Grand Slams compulsively and followed all of the minor tourneys as well. But this woman is so awful. Physically threatening lines persons. Constantly having a sour attitude in press conferences. Utterly disrespectful of her opponents. And now this.
Her sister is so nice and gracious and mature. I don’t quite understand how they came from the same family.
But as long as Serena is playing, I just cannot watch. I do not say things like this lightly: she is a horrible, horrible person. She needs to retire and go away.
Serena,
Being built like a horse doesn’t constitute the right to trample on women’s rights.
Raping someone is not just “a mistake”. A mistake doesn’t define who you are. If you’ve raped someone it’s 100% indicative of who/what you are. I’m sorry, but to me it defines you. To me a rapist will never be anything more than a rapist. Full stop. That’s all there is to it. They need to be removed from society. Why in the hell is it still so difficult for so many people to understand that if you rape someone, YOU ARE A BAD PERSON. There are no excuses, there are no extenuating circumstances. A rapist does not deserve a future, I don’t give a shit how much potential and talent the guy had. He doesn’t deserve success or happiness. Losing out on a chance at a bright future is what a rapist deserves, there’s nothing sad about it. It’s right. It’s how it should be. O, and for the love of God, why the fuck does she think it matters whether the girl was a virgin or not? Statements like that literally make me want to burst into tears from anger and pure frustration.
THIS!! I totally agree.
I’ve heard this same bullish-t from my own family. I’ve heard it from people who have degrees and should KNOW better. I used to fully believe it, and thought that if I just followed the rules and not walk down dark alleys and not dress like a “slut” I would be safe. Let other girls be stupid if they want to, I at least would be safe. And no, that’s not how it works.
I get that people are scared for their kids and obviously don’t want them to take stupid risks, but this whole “she was drunk/dressed provocatively/totally deserved it, that’ll teach her for not being as conservative as the rest of us is messed up. It’s been going on for generations and it hasnt worked, so we need a huge campaign to get it to stop.
Urge Nike to Drop Serena Williams
http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/urge-nike-to-drop-serena?source=c.url&r_by=8061853
Just signed it. Thank you for posting the link!
Signed and posted to my Facebook. Thank you!
Same here, signed it and passed it on. Thanks!
Thank-you YDavis! Have signed and emailed friends;)
People like Williams do not see the source of rape as an act of utter violence, but an (maybe) illegal act of lust and mostly provoked by the victim.
So Disgusting.
SILENCE or BEING PASSED OUT does NOT equal CONSENT. Should a 16 year old be drinking? No, but kids will do it. That doesn’t mean that this girl was to blame for rape. Kids getting drunk is a part of life. RAPE SHOULD NOT BE. Disgusting. Serena, you are disgusting, and I hope your brand fails now.
What’s really blowing my mind is the “maybe she wasn’t a virgin” comment. How the feck is that relevant in any way, shape or form?? Is she saying that if she wasn’t a virgin, that somehow excuses it??? I actually feel physically sick knowing that there are people who think this way.
Agreed with several others who have pointed out that we also need to better educate our men. NO MEANS NO. NO ONE is EVER “asking for it.” Lack of consent does NOT equal permission.
I think all those steroids have seriously effected Serena’s brain. His comments are beyond disgusting and insanely ignorant. STFU.
bitch……shutup, shutup, SHUTUP!
how dare she. go crawl back into the worm infested dirthole you somehow managed to evolve from. the LAST thing women collectively need is a prehistoric POV on ‘well, rape happens I guess, now what did she DO to ‘tempt’ the poor boy into unleashing their penile fury’
un-buh-leev-ahh—bullsh*t.
I have to say u was in the same situation except I was in the military always and forever a boys club I was 20 and 10 years later am just now able to come to grips with what happened they destroyed me even questioned people saying dont u think it was her fault I mean she was drunk I was literally on the brink of suicide I can’t imagine what a 16 year old is going through how she is handling it. That a woman a grown woman can make another female the culprit of such a horrible act speaks volumes and is completely despicable. With the influences she has she should be out trying to enact change for these kinda of perceptions I’m disgusted and vow I will never support another Serena endorsed project or product my prayers go out to this young girl and anyone else that has had to live with rape no matter how ur happens it is devestating and only time can heal that pain
SMH…so sad what many brave female soldiers have to deal with in the military.
Just know that there are women (and men!) like myself who support your bravery, both in the line of fire and on the base. It can’t be easy with the prevailing military attitude of treating women’s bodies as if they’re a public commodity.
Domestic_diva, please remain strong!!!
I know it must be hard to write that, but thank you for being brave and posting anyway, for the people out there who still don’t get it.
Thank you for the support ladies I tell my story here because this is a prime example of how not only are u violated when URe assaulted but that the aftermath can feel worse than the assault itself. For the longest I wondered if I should have ever reported it because of the way I was villainized . I just want people to open their eyes to how blaming the victim can truly break someone down and they could potentially never get over it
Rolling Stone did that expose about all the rapes in the military and how it’s the dirty little secret and more rampant than we know, how the women are shammed and men protected.
It almost made me hate men, the way the superiors were protecting the men or some of the superiors were the ones who did it also. These women were career service women or enlistees serving our country, proud to be in the military, and then practically shunned for daring to report it and nothing of consequence happening anyway.
One had a father who was career military and she followed in her father’s footsteps, making it her career, loved the military, and to be treated like she was made me sick, demoted, shunned by everyone eventually, even the people she thought were her friends, because she wanted to pursue charges and she became a liability even to be friends with for shaking the boat. And like you said, they start the process to blame the woman. I just had no idea that was going on and it was eye-opening.
I cannot stand her or her sister. I have always believed they are both on steroids.
And we wonder why we can’t get the boys held accountable….Holy shit.
Exactly. All types of men and boys all over the world hear women and girls being blamed for rape.
“She shouldn’t have been drinking.”
“Look at the way she was dressed.”
“Well she wasn’t a virgin.”
“She’s had many sexual partners.”
“Maybe if women in the entertainment industry dressed modestly and abstained from any type of sexual role.”
“Maybe if we embraced sexual purity.”
When men and boys grow up hearing all of this victim-blaming, what do you think it teaches them? It teaches them two things:
1. If they ever rape someone, society won’t hold them fully accountable for the rape. They’ll blame the victim just as much as they’ll blame him. So it’s not all his fault, and
2. Rape is acceptable- or at least in certain circumstances.
Serena is clearly uneducated as well as being inarticulate. In addition to that she clearly wants to be the cool popular girl and sees all females as competition.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a pathetic Mean Girl.
Wow these comments are bad I don’t like her , I’ve always found her obnoxious, like when she cursed out a ref once for no reason and threatened her. She’s an a-hole
What the rapists got was unfair only in the sense that the penalties weren’t long enough. As for their (miserable) lives being ruined, too goddamn bad!
I would love to see the companies that hired Serena for endorsements cancel their contracts. Maybe a direct hit to her wallet will teach her some common decency since nothing else worked. She can still say moronic things if she so chooses, but it will have to be on her own dime,
She wasn’t asked her opinion, she offered it.
Women want to believe that if they do everything right they won’t get raped. That’s why they are so angry and blame this kid for getting raped. As if people don’t make mistakes. If your son or brother got wasted does it give anyone the right to beaten them up or degrade them. Why is it alright for those boys to degrade that girl?
I have never liked either of the Williams sisters, and this shows that my earliest hunch was right on. She is wayyyy too smug and condescending ALL THE TIME.
Uh don’t give anything serena williams says any time..B be ignorant.
She is ignorant and wears it garishly
wow. just… wow.
I think so many of these “famous” people are so out of touch with reality they just don’t get it. unless it happens to them or their kid. God forbid.
Stupid bitch, I just lost all respect for her. My daughter was just four years old when she was raped and sodomized by the brother of our babysitter. Should someone just have told her “don’t get raped?”
My beautiful daughter just got married last weekend in a beautiful ceremony with a wonderful young man, but her rapist (he was fifteen at the time) has been in out of jail all his life. So there is justice in the world.
OMG. Dear God. I am so so sorry.
uggh how terrible!
I can’t wait for Williams to get busted for roids and have her titles and sponsorships taken away.
Serena responds:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/tennis/2013/06/19/serena-williams-apologizes-steubenville-ohio-rape-case/2437705/
“what I supposedly said”
yeah, because that’s the kind of thing that journalists make up.
stupid bitch, OWN what you said and apologize for saying something so disgusting. take the opportunity to say something like “too many people feel this way, and it was wrong of me to perpetuate this myth” or something like that.
I guess she must be hearing from her sponsors. I can’t imagine her apologizing for any other reason. And seriously “what I supposedly said”???
She’s apologizing for what she “supposedly said”? Bitch Please!! Rolling Stone was very careful to write her reaction in a way that made it clear it was a DIRECT QUOTE. And the way I think it works is, Serena and her publicist had to approve the article before it went to print, right?
Funny coming from someone who wears the tightes and sexiest tennis get-ups. Is she asking to get raped?? Because she put on that kind of outfit? You (dressed) like that. Your parents should teach you-
I changed drunk to dressed. From her quote. Is’nt that what they do when people defend rapist?
Oh Serena. She really is a complicated and interesting woman, but this was just such a stupid thing to say. Not only is it NOT appropriate to EVER blame the victim, but at least know the details. The girl was specifically brought to the party by girls that were friends of the rapists. She was drugged.
Just went through the details of the case on wikipedia and it made me sick. How could this even happen?! How can anybody do this and why did they got like a year for it? How is it possible that someone defends them! And Serena – om my god, are you kidding me, a rape and you dare to imply that the victum deserved it? Does she even know what rape is? Or, sure, it’s the girl’s fault for daring to go out of the house in the first place! And party too! she was obviously asking to get drugged, urinated upon and raped!
Serena’s crazy and I officialy hate her.
And I’m never, ever going to USA!
I’m very disappointed in Serena.
…”Obviously I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t a virgin, but she shouldn’t have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that’s different.”
Maybe she wasn’t a virgin? What the f*ck does that mean? That it would have been rape only if she was or that she’s a slut therefore she “was asking for it it by having a slutty behaviour”?
That’s it: first and last comment on this thread.
Buuuuurrrrnnnnn!!! Outch. She should’ve just kept her opinion her own.
Disgusting in so many ways. Look at that picture on the beach! She thinks she’s hot s••t!!
Serena needs to be educated on rape culture. What she said is unfortunately how a lot of people think which makes me sick and sad.
I am however, comforted by the fact that the overwhelming majority of commenters on this thread do understand how insidious rape culture is and have outlined so eloquently, everything that is wrong with Serena’s line of thinking and the comments she made.
Going to.. oh to hades with it. It’s been 11 years and if I can’t make a relatively coherent comment on a gossip page about this then maybe I need to go back to counseling.
Let me just say this clearly – this horseshit is KILLING women. While I am 100% team “Be Safe, Protect Yourself, Don’t Put Yourself At Risk” – this crap is killing women and for ~ANOTHER~ woman to say it… let’s just say it’s a very good thing I don’t run the planet – I’d likely do something insane and put idiots like Serena in the stocks or something in a public square. The shame, the blame, the mockery, the vague “Well, of course it was wrong, BUT….” some explanation that actually it really is the woman’s own fault is killing people. Rather then tell, rather then go for help, rather then scream it from the top of the tower steps and force the rapist to be held accountable (I’m a fan of starting at public horsewhipping and then handing off to the first of a long line of people who care for the victim, again – why I should never rule the planet) this crap seeps into a womans soul and glues her mouth shut so she is left to hold this poison in her system and let it rot her away from the inside. It builds towards all sorts of lovely things – punishing relationships because we ‘deserve’ nothing better because we’re somehow weak/evil/dirty, self-damage – be it eat disorders/cutting/depression/other oh so fun things (that just feed the spiral, fun!) and eventually often just a blank blind numb desperate need to please can someone stop the planet and let me off!
How do I know? After a long day working at a bank as a cashier (while taking a 20+ credit hour course load in collage while working 60+ hours at the bank) I went to a local bar for a drink. All the crap that I had soaked in my life about what ‘good girls’ do and don’t do (Good girls don’t: drink, talk to boys, go alone to a bar, dress in some way that might lead a man on, smile at a man and make him think we were willing, etc and various other crap) meant, that even after the jackoff put a concoction into my one and only drink made from a lovely blend of engine cleaner and X (that has left me with permanent heart damage, the kind that even replacing the whole shebang wouldn’t fix and couldn’t if I wanted to because of yet OTHER damage done), even after getting dragged into an alley, even after coming around and trying to fight and getting the back of my head bashed in with a brick so he could finish in relative ‘peace’ what he wanted me for – in my head, IT WAS STILL MY FAULT. When I dragged myself home, bloody and quite literally broken, in body, mind, AND soul (when I look back at the next year following, anyone who paid attention for a moment would likely have been able to have me institutionalized with no problems because I was, quite simply, not sane for a long time) I scrubbed myself for hours. I can remember the water going from so hot I had blisters thru to icy needles ripping through me, and back again over and over dozens of times. I did’t tell anyone for a long time. It was my fault. ~I~ went to the bar. ~I~ (who had never been good with boys, awkward and shy) must have flirted, ~I~ must have caused it. I must be evil. I must be wrong. It has to be my fault. Don’t talk about it, don’t think about it, don’t THINK, don’t breathe. I danced on the line between life and death for a long time – and it took finding out that, in addition to the heart damage, the soul damage, the mental fog (caused by the hell brew of the drugs he used, the brick, and my own grief/loss/shame) he had ALSO left me with… a child that would need sorting out. I found out past any point of thinking of anything else (so I can’t say what I would have done) but the need to get someone else here in one piece (the plan was simply – get the baby here, get it to it’s parents… I interviewed a lot of folks until finding the right ones, I had to make it right, and once she was safely delivered – to either step in front of a bus or eat a bullet. Something simple.) made me work first to get my body healthy for her body and that started bringing my heart and my brain back. Not a great way to rehab myself, but hell, it worked. But so much of the pain and hell I waded through would never have been part of my walk if I hadn’t been programmed by society to think the crap that spewed out of Serena’s mouth. Filth like this (and it IS filth – and poisonous and insidious as racism or bigotry) dang near killed me, and I know dozens who never made it out the other side, and instead slipped under the pull of this societal madness.
Not only is her mindset a death knell for so many girls and women – it is so incredibly degrading and demeaning to the true and good MEN out there. Real men aren’t animals who are incapable of keeping their penis in their pants and to imply that if a man comes across a girl drunk, or in short enough skirts, or even flirting with him – he is somehow unable to resist her siren’s lure and MUST throw himself upon her like nothing more than a dog in heat is disgusting. Every bit of crap people like her toss in vague “Well I never would outright say it was ALL her fault, but really… what can you expect” is just…
Stocks. Seriously. With large baskets of rotting tomatoes that are flung while the names of every woman who has killed herself in the shame and the pain that was thrown on her on TOP of the violent violation of her very SOUL – we’re not just bodies people – read out in clear tones, with the ways they slid under and the people who had to watch them fade manning the baskets. Would it solve anything? No. But frell, it might make ME feel better for a few minutes.
GAH! I need a shower after reading this crap. To know this is still the view today is just so… depressing and heartbreaking. And I have got to go hug my cat or something because right now I kind of want to throw up and I kind of want to just sit on the floor and cry. Because you see? I’m better.
But I don’t honestly know if I will ever really be totally alright again. And I’m one of the incredibly LUCKY ones. This crap is bad enough out of the mouth of a man. Out of a woman, it’s just… vile stupidity.
Jenna, my heart goes out to you. I am a survivor myself (of molestation) and so am familiar with the soul-eating doubt, pain and confusion that you describe.
Agree with everything you said and I’m sending nothing but good thoughts and wishes your way. *big hug*
I know it’s tough on you to write that, but THANK YOU for being brave and saying it anyway, for the people out there who still don’t get it.
Brave of you to write. Anyone who lays the blame on you was pathetic, but it happens all the time, sadly.
Jenna,
I am so, so sorry that happened to you, and so very glad you are still here with us. There is nothing else I can say.
There’s been a lot of discussion back and forth with this thread and the other Serena one, and I’ve expressed my disgust as the ultimate “good girl” (Orthodox Jew, never drunk, always modestly dressed, no sex before marriage) at the idea that being a certain way as a woman will prevent a man’s raping you. I’ve seen it with a friend of mine who was the same as me – you couldn’t accuse her of being anything but a very sweet, naive religious girl – but nobody told her rapist he wasn’t allowed to attack girls like her!
You raised an excellent point that I thought of earlier but didn’t articulate as well as you did -the assertion that it’s women’s job to prevent rapes is offensive as hell to MEN, namely the majority of the male race who are not rapists.
I’m also disheartened more than I can say by the fact that women are spouting this crap. The only consolation I can offer is that there are women out there like me, like so many others on this board, who are 1000% on your side. I hope you have people like this in your life you can reach out and hold on to. Please stay strong. You are a finer person than most of could imagine or aspire to be.
Faye, Jayna, MrsKrabapple, & IChooseme – sorry to wait a few days to come back to this, and I’m not sure if you will see it now that it’s been a few days (I needed to sort of walk away from my computer for a bit to think as well as to shake some stuff back off) but in case you do… Thank you. I’m so sorry IChooseMe that you had to go through anything like this (honestly, I think molestation survivors have it harder. I only have… flashes. Between what I was drugged with, the concussion/brain scrambling from the brick, and likely some heavy duty suppression in the back of my head – its all just disjointed snippets that frankly, I work pretty hard to NOT link together into a clear narrative) to endue abuse like you… my heart just goes out to you.
As much as I’ve been trying to just shake this off, it seems like more and more the attitude as mouthed off by the piece of crappy humanity like Serena (I know, I know. She ‘apologized’ – IE Her management team FREAKED and shoved out a statement as fast as they could to the oncoming sound of lost endorsement revenue. Until I see her in tears begging women for forgiveness for being such a stupid illinformed vile twit, I’ll be holding on to my views of her. Makes me the smaller person, I’m sure, but screw it. I’ve had enough opportunities for ‘personal growth’. Just this once, I’m gonna take the low road!) is hitting the world. It’s not getting better for women. It’s not getting better for GOOD men (I kinda ~had~ to make that point Faye… as I have since found my best example of a GOOD man. Married him to! So I always feel rather honor bound to holler for the guys who are horrified by the whole thing and get painted with the same excrement covered brush as the monsters out there who just happen to carry the same equipment in their pants.) it’s just all… going wrong.
I think I’ve thought I could just be honest when it comes up and by being honest about what happened and all the rest that followed and how hard the climb back out was, was enough. There are few things in my life I won’t answer honestly to a flat question, and surely just being able to speak when/if it comes up is enough? But more and more I am getting slapped up the back of the head and realizing that it’s time to do more. It’s not enough to just be honest in the moment… frack it all – I’m gonna have to get involved. Talking quietly one on one isn’t working. I’m gonna have to start looking for a megaphone and a ladder and make myself heard. Crap. I AM one of the lucky ones. And getting lucky means you have to reach down for the ones that didn’t and share that ‘luck’.
Dang it all, I HATE politics. And now I think I’m going to have to get into them.
There was so much more to this case than alcohol football and rape… Anonymous uncovered underground illegal gambling syndicates in the town run by family members of the players who made thousands by betting on the games. Threaten someone’s livelihood and they will do anything to protect it, hence all the crazy victim blaming that happened….
Oh Serena=[ How disappointing=[
I have one question though and please respond – if you choose to – in a non-combative manner:
It is never okay/excusable to rape someone.EVER. That being said, WHY would you get drunk to the point of unconsciousness, away from friends to help/look out for you?
I am NOT saying “she deserved this” or “that’s what happens when you choose to do this…” BUT considering how slimy most of the people who were at that party were known to be (based on texts, FB,twitter,etc.) shouldn’t she have had a sense that something bad would happen?
genuinely curious…
Icwy
i can with me=] which is why this question doesnt have to pertain to you.
Williams is a assh@le, plain and simple. She’s the Mike Tyson or Ty Cobb of tennis.
It’s bad enough to blame the victim, but then to double the insult by the non-apology that links the pain the victim goes through with the pain the accused go through? These are not “accused” they are CRIMINALS. They were tried and convicted criminals.
To answer her question, is what happened fair? No, not all at. The rapists only received 1- and 2- year sentences in juvenile detention. That is not fair at all – to the victim or to society. Rapists should receive more punishment than that.
But back to Williams. Remember a few years ago when she called an asian woman a “gook” and threatened to kill her? She was going to shove a tennis ball “down her f@cking throat.” Why? Because she disagreed with the call the line judge made.
Sadly, athletes are given so much adoration simply because they’re good at a sport, that they think they can get away with anything. Probably because they HAVE been able to get away with things (crimes) other people wouldn’t.
And where’s that Nike petition? I’d like to sign it.
OMG, I got on chat with HSN who sells her stuff and this is the response I got.
JL D: Given Serena Williams horrendous accusations in Rolling Stone magazine about the sixteen year old rape victim, I will no longer be able to support her lines of goods or any company promoting them. What is HSNs response to the Rolling Stones Story?
Marianne: HSN is proud to be accepting of people with differing views and opinions. This is true of our customer base, and certainly the brands and personalities we bring to our wonderful customers. I understand the importance of your concern and appreciate that you have shared it with us. Your concern has been forwarded to the appropriate department and will be reviewed thoroughly. Suggestions and feedback such as yours contribute to the overall success of our company. I encourage you to continue sharing your ideas with us in the future.
Marianne: HSN has not issued any comment.
JL D: Ok, I’m sure you won’t mind if I copy and paste that info in other forums just for info.
Marianne: Sure, you may copy this response and post it.
Serena is right; and she was not blaming the victim at all. These magazine interviews can be tricky because no matter what you say, it will always be misconstrued. Rape is never justified, and is never caused by the victim. What Serena was saying is you need to practice “SITUATIONAL AWARENESS . If you are going to place yourself in a vulnerable position, you need to know that you can protect yourself or, more importantly, that the people you are with will protect you. Rape has been around as long as humans have walked the earth. To simply say that men should not do this is really naive. You wouldn’t leave your car unlocked as there may be thieves about, and you wouldn’t walk alone in a bad neighborhood either in case you get mugged. Why is this situation any different? What happened to that girl is terrible and inexcusable – why can’t we say that and also say that she made some bad mistakes that evening that contributed to her victimization? The girl made a bad choice the boys made a criminal choice. There should be nothing wrong with promoting accountability for your own personal safety and well-being, particularly among women
“Serena is right; and she was not blaming the victim at all”
No she wasn’t right, and she was blaming the victim. As are you, no matter how you try and wrap it up in the cloak of ‘responsibility’.
Serena wasn’t talking about “situational awareness.” She questioned whether it’s “fair” that the boys were convicted at all.
YOU said, “The girl made a bad choice, the boys made a criminal choice.” But that’s NOT what Serena said — she doesn’t think the rape was “criminal” at all, she thinks it was “stupid.” And for no good reason, she brings up the victim’s lack of virginity. And says the victim was “lucky.”
People can bend over backwards trying to defend what Serena said, but to me there’s nothing defensible about it. And it’s compounded by her insensitive NON-apology where she put the family of the victim on the same level as the family of the rapists, as if the rapists suffer as much as the victim. And she implied the person who interviewed her was lying.
I am thoroughly disgusted by her right now.
I never liked this woman, and now with this I know I was correct in my assumption that she is a terrible person who thinks way to highly of herself.
That quote was disgusting.
I love how she calls the girl “lucky” because she was “just” raped.
Hey, it could have been worse, right?!!! She could have been robbed and then killed, too!!!
Disgusting. Her statement is despicable.
A lot of women posting here seem to not understand rape and sexual abuse. I’m reading a lot of victim blaming, a lot of fear of strange men, a lot of talk about clothing choices and drunkeness. Acquaintance rape is far more common than stranger rape. Sobriety will not protect you from assault. Clothing choices will not protect from assault. Stop blaming victims.