Kiefer Sutherland Shouldn’t Play with Himself …. according to some excellent anecdotage from the clever lads and lasses at Holy Moly

Kiefer Sutherland was delighted to receive his own Jack Bauer doll, sent to him by the ’24’ merchandisers, to see if he approved of the design. He certainly did approve and reported back straight away that he was particularly impressed with the realistic facial carving on the wooden prototype, before taking his balsa doppelganger on a riotous night out with his mates.

I’m impressed with Kiefer’s lack of vanity … realistic facial carving is something I thought had happened to him in the years since Flatliners and The Lost Boys … not something that he wanted to see marketers replicate and sell.

Those high quality Donald Suthyland genes are shining through. I’m not the only one who’s impressed.

Kiefer’s friends were also impressed and used the doll in a series of pub party games, acting out scenes from the hit series with aplomb and staggering faithfulness to the scripts. Sad to say, the doll Bauer proved less durable that the fleshy version, with the result that it failed to survive such stunts as running whilst alight and doused in vodka.

The should have carved it out of a nice chunk of Charlie Sheen rather than sadly pourous, burnable wood … that doll would have been indestructible.

A bleary Kiefer stumbled into the office the next morning only to be told that the pile of ashes in his local bar was in fact the ONLY prototype of the doll, and was the result of a master Japanese wood carver’s year full of sleepless nights and constant reworking. And yes, it was the only copy and designed to be used as a mould for the final plastic version.

Bleary or not – having learned his lessons early and thoroughly from every PR flack in his Hollywood kindergarten — Kiefer went for the hoary deny, deny, deny, strategy … then wait the bastards out.

With remarkable calm, he insisted the doll was safe and had certainly not been stolen, and whenever asked in future about the fate of the doll would only reply, “It has NOT been stolen,” without further information.
A year later, another prototype appeared, at which point Kiefer revealed the fate of the original Bauer and agreed to approve the second prototype by sight alone.

And It worked. Damn It Chloe! Never Blink First.

pics via ATV