I usually consider it a good day when I can write about farts in both a good and bad capacity. So I was quite happy to take on this story of how Armie Hammer’s new role in an upcoming Guy Ritchie movie demands an egg, chicken, and caviar diet that is wreaking havoc on his personal space. Reportedly, Armie’s poor wife is “not happy with the actor’s emissions” either.
Oh you may believe that this story is merely tabloid fiction, but it happens. James McAvoy once claimed that his bulk-up regimen for Wanted called for super protein shakes that “gave me incredible bouts of flatulence.” James even told Graham Norton that he unwittingly dutch-ovened poor Angelina Jolie in a car. Now the Enquirer says Armie’s wife has just about had it with Armie’s role-induced stench. Ouch:
The Lone Ranger hunk Armie Hammer is on a strict diet of caviar and eggs — and the side effects are stinking up his marriage!
Sources say the 27-year-old actor was put on the wacky diet by director Guy Ritchie, who cast the square-jawed heartthrob in his movie version of The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
“Guy is a major fitness nut, which is a hangover from his marrigae to Madonna,” said an insider.
“He wants Armie in tip-top shape for the film, and he’s put him on a bizarre diet of chicken, eggs, and caviar. As you can imagine, Armie’s suffering from excessive gas, and it’s driving his wife Elizabeth crazy!”
In the film, Hammer plays secret agent Illya Kuryakin, while his partner Napoleon Solo is played by Henry Cavill, the big-screen Superman in Man of Steel.
“Since he’ll be working alongside mega-muscly Henry, Armie doesn’t want to look anything less thanhis best,” added the insider.
“But friends say his wind problem is causing him some big-time embarrassment. Now Elizabeth doesn’t want to travel in the same car with him. She even banished him to the guest room one night!”
To make matters worse, the source says the Social Network star’s breath reeks of rotten eggs. “Every time Armie goes to kiss Elizabeth, she winces,” revealed the insider.
And it looks like Elizabeth won’t get a break, even after filming wraps, because Armie says his dream is to open up a cigar company.
[From Enquirer, print edition, September 16, 2013]
Well at least it’s only a temporary affliction, right? Although I find the mere thought of caviar in any capacity to be revolting. I can’t even imagine having to smell its after effects when coupled with eggs. Has Elizabeth tried Febreze yet? That stuff works absolute miracles. Hopefully, this terrible ordeal will soon be over so Armie can return to his marital bedroom.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
lol
I want to see Army shirtless. That’s all.
I want to see Armie shirtless. That’s all.
They make a cute couple. But I still think Henry is way hotter than this guy.
So he wont pull his wife’s hair during sex “because he respects her too much” but he will gas her in the car? This article reeks is what of rotten eggs.
And he’ll never be as hot as Henry, so just give up already.
I can’t believe people think Henry Cavill is boring but get all worked up over this guy. He has zero charisma.
When she kicks him out of bed, he can come stay in mine! Lol I live in San Antonio near them, he’s so much hotter in person.
ANY high-protein diet will turn your breath into the farts of Smaug’s decomposing corpse. It’s a byproduct of the ketosis. And you put the weight back on within 3-4 weeks of going off the diet (otherwise I’d go on it, reek or no reek, gas or no gas).
This reminds me of the time Colin Farrell had to go on a protein smoothie diet for Daredevil and he was quoted in a magazine as saying, “And I haven’t taken a proper shit in weeks.” Good old Colon – uh, COLIN!