2013 Kardashian Christmas card revealed: dystopian nightmare hellscape?

christmas

(2013 Kardashian Christmas card, click to enlarge)

You know what’s amazing? The Kardashian-Jenner family has made the “big reveal” of their Christmas card into an annual event. Outlets cover their Christmas card like it’s a major thing. I guess it is. In years past, we’ve had the all-white Christmas (2012), the sad-glam Christmas (2010), and my favorite, the randomly Moroccan-goth Christmas (2011). This year’s card might out-do them all though. That’s this year’s card, the header image. Some thoughts:

*It’s just the Kardashian-Jenner women, right? No Rob Kardashian (no sock empire), no Scott Disick, no Lamar Odom, no Kanye West. At first I thought Mason and Penelope Disick had been excluded too, but if you look closely, you can see them. But there’s no North West!!

*Ah, if you’re really eagle-eyed, you see Bruce Jenner in a wiglet off to the right. He must have loved wearing a wiglet.

*The card was shot by David LaChappelle, who is known for making saturated pop-art-type images. He’s a pretty major photographer and I can’t believe he did the Kardashian Christmas Card.

*As for the “theme”… I’m going with post-apocalyptic Las Vegas, where people are using mannequin parts as money.

*Nothing – NOTHING – about this says “Christmas”. I’m not a Christmas purist or anything and you definitely don’t have to wear a Rudolph blinking-nose sweater in your Christmas card, but this card is a total holiday FAIL.

*The Photoshop work is giving me a headache. They all look like cartoons.

*The Kardashian “Christmas Special” was filmed months ago but it aired last night. That’s why the card was revealed. So you’ll watch the Christmas special.

*I’m including some of Kim’s Instagrams too.

kim3

kim1

Photos courtesy of Instagram, E! News.

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192 Responses to “2013 Kardashian Christmas card revealed: dystopian nightmare hellscape?”

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  1. Zbornak Syndrome says:

    Am I looking at a painting? Someone please help me figure out me what I just saw… 🙂

  2. T.Fanty says:

    And yet, Bound 2 is undignified?

  3. Dani2 says:

    What in seven hells IS this photoshop fail? It’s like Kris made this herself.

  4. Spooks says:

    This just screams BIRTH OF CHRIST.

    What do yo do with a Christmas card with your picture on it? Do you send it to people or what?

  5. TheOriginalKitten says:

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!

    Are these people for real?
    Terrible, just awful shite.

    Kim looks like a drag queen from the disco era in that second photo (no offense to drag queens).

    • LadyMTL says:

      Also, don’t forget the boobs. Nothing says Merry Christmas like boobs! LOL. These people are so beyond ridiculous.

      • Amber says:

        The baby Jesus** had to eat @LadyMTL.

        People above are saying it’s like something out of Revelations. It is very Hieronymus Bosch to me (if Bosch painted a crack den in an abandoned, 1976 Vegas mall). It’s overwhelming, cluttered and bombards your senses. The overall tone is clearly ominous* (again, VERY Merry Christmas). But I don’t know where to look and if I look closely, I’m horrified by the depravity. I’m sure there’s a moral lesson to be gained from viewing it as well.

        *Maybe that’s why LaChappelle did it. I’ll bet Kanye called in a favor. But it looks to me that LaChappelle pulled a Lagerfeld.

        **Maybe Kim and Kanye will do their own card (or a magazine cover) with Kim dressed like the Virgin Mary. Something like this http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSovJYUedEDpi3AF9ykvQkhN2MT1bV8cNLdQK59baQw0DSyrxpe Would you be shocked? Would you?

    • V4Real says:

      This looks like what should have been the original poster for the movie “Showgirls, minus the baby.” I know strippers who can pose with more class.

    • littlestar says:

      She doesn’t even look like the most recent version of herself in the close up! Had I not known that was her, I wouldn’t have known who she was. Well, maybe I would have, because her hair is still the hideous shade of blond.

      • idk says:

        Chapelle wanted to change her hair back to black for the photo but she wouldn’t let him. He said something like “I know you’re not gonna be blonde for long Kim, you never are” and she said something like “no this time I’m going to try to keep this color”…she acted as if she was being forced to be blonde or something.

    • gg says:

      They all do. What kind of cropping is that on Kim’s waist? And they’ve done something sick with Bruce. It looks as if he’s bought into the whole hellacious mess. Damn, these people have no decency left.

      They need to title this atrocity: THE RISE OF GREED AND COLLAPSE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION.

  6. Red32 says:

    This is a Christmas card? It looks like a billboard for a Reno strip club.

  7. paola says:

    They brought tacky to a whole new level. And by the way what’s christmassy about this?

  8. Relli says:

    WHAT IN XANADU HELL IS THIS!?!?!?

  9. snakecharmer says:

    kim was so stunning before plastic surgery and even up until her last nose job. if her mom talked her into that its so freakin effed up. the dimensions are off. the nose was taken up too much skewing the proportion of her naturally beautiful face.

  10. mia girl says:

    Yeezus must be the true master-mind behind this design. I’d put money on it.

  11. Shauna says:

    I watched the special. I have no life. The photographer didn’t want children in the picture. It’s a freaking Christmas card! Kourtney stood up to him. They also wanted just the women and Bruce said he’d never had to be invited to his own family’s Christmas card.

    • idk says:

      Why no baby North though?

      Also, didn’t Kanye admit to photoshopping himself into the Kardashian Christmas card each year because he wanted to be in it so badly? They couldn’t work around his schedule lol ?

      Rob actually said he didn’t want to be in it because he feels fat…didn’t anyone tell Rob they will photoshop as much weight off him as he wants ? We know why Lamar isn’t there…not sure why Scott isn’t though.

      Lastly, why is it called the “Kardashian Christmas card” when the majority of people in it are Jenners !

      • Diane says:

        Isn’t Baby North in the far right corner?

      • idk says:

        @Diane

        No, I actually watched the Christmas special last night, they didn’t even mention North’s name…only Kourtney’s kids were in the photo. It’s wierd how sometimes I forget Kim even has a child. Maybe Kanye said no ?

      • jwoolman says:

        The baby picture on the far right doesn’t really look like poor North. Could it be Kanye as a baby?

    • Thinker says:

      Since when do you hire a photographer to dictate what your family’s Xmas card should look like? Rude.

      You’re right about Rob. Look how they photoshopped Satan’s homegirl. The effect makes her look all the more sinister and money hungry.

      This photo is awful.

    • Brickyard Ute says:

      Random thought: maybe David is trolling them and that is why he did not want the children in the picture?

      As much as I do not believe a thing on the scripted show, I do applaud Kourney demanding her children be a part of her family Xmas card. Kris Jenner sickens me that she would even pretend to exclude them

  12. Bananapants says:

    Excuse my French, really, but what in the fucking fuck? What is this? I have an art degree from a major university and I cannot make sense of anything happening here.

    • dahlianoir says:

      what in the f–king f–k indeed. I can’t make head nor tails of what i’m looking at.

    • paola says:

      ahahah!! I am an architect and i’ve been studying art my whole life but to me this shit looks like a bomb exploded and what have should been destroyed is still standing there in drag make up!

      • Tracy says:

        Perfect description!

      • Ellie says:

        I think David LaChappell is a genious! The focus on money ( the $, the ATM, the pyramid with the eye), the broken and detached female mannequins, the use of “the end” above Kim, the tiny pictures of Bruce in the upper left area that appar as a series of “Y’s”…as if to say “why, why, why?” Bruce locked inside a glass case with “cashier” written next to him? (He was the one with money when they married, I believe.) The symbolism is incredible, and I doubt the vapid idiots don’t suspect a thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a still from the sex tape hidden in there somewhere! (Didn’t see it and never would.) This is a big middle finger to the family from the artist (photographer)!

  13. Norman Bates' Mother says:

    Merry Photoshop and a happy famewhoring. Ho, ho, ho.

  14. Anonny says:

    Do they spend all their days taking selfies and having professional photos taken? What do these people DO??

  15. SBunny says:

    I am so tired of Kanye and his self-righteous face. I really do think Kim is pretty, but ugh he’s just gross inside and out.

  16. Ann Carter says:

    Is that Bruce locked in a toll booth on the highway to Hell? Far right??
    I am forever scarred and longing for the day they all disappear.

  17. Bubbles says:

    HAhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah

  18. dagdag says:

    Do the Kardashians really have am ironic sense of themselves? I am wondering.

    • mia girl says:

      Nah, I doubt they even understand the idea of irony.

      More likely they would think “ironic” is a new type of weight loss colonic spiked with an iron supplement.

    • idk says:

      Interesting. I mean this card speaks volumes. The way Kim is posted next to the dollar sign (as her only goal in life is to make money any way she knows how), Bruce is locked up in a booth (self-explanatory lol), Kendall is in the center as she is the new money maker of the family, and the one showing the most leg is the 50 something year old mother who will forever compete with her daughters.

      • emmie_a says:

        idk: Great comment and oh so true! You almost wonder if LaChapelle is a fan – or if he is in on the joke with the rest of us. It really seems everyone knows they are a huge joke, except for themselves.

    • snakecharmer says:

      i wonder the same thing, is this supposed to be meta or something? the part of it that tells me its not is that kim has made herself look bad with surgery, so it seems more like deluded thinking. the mom is so, just, get behind me satan! omg shes scary. something is off with this whole situation.

    • Dommy Dearest says:

      They probably think irony has to do with an actual iron.

  19. mkyarwood says:

    I think they’re missing the part where they portray themselves is Gomorrah’s travel agents. Them poor kids.

  20. The Original Mia says:

    What in the name of all that’s holy is this monstrosity?

    I couldn’t tell who was who without enlarging and even then I don’t believe for a second that’s Kim. These people are ridiculous. Ridiculous.

  21. HoneyBea says:

    Kim’s leg in the last photo – her knee and calf is facing one direction, her ankle in another and her actually foot in another. Her hand is all wrong and looks like a plastic baby dolls hand. her waist begins in a different place on the left compared with the right…hmmm maybe she really is an alien

  22. NYC_girl says:

    How do I get on their mailing list? LOL

  23. Madriani's Girl says:

    A dollar sign and a cashier among the mess going on in this picture. Typical for these fame-wh*ring, money-obsessed people.

  24. HoneyBea says:

    Just noticed Bruce in the corner. I think the glass cage is a metaphor for his marriage to PMK

  25. Laura says:

    Mason looks like a ventriloquist dummy

  26. Bridgett says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  27. Nev says:

    hahaha love it!!!

    that pic of kim and kanye is really cute too.

  28. NerdMomma says:

    This is so konfusing…everyone looks like krap

  29. HoneyBea says:

    last comment sorry- lol to the blue pyramid on the left with the eye. they love trolling us with this shit!!

  30. Lizzie says:

    1) Bruce isn’t wearing a wiglet, his hair is just that long (if you watched the christmas special you’d know)
    2) It’s not photoshopped, David LaChappelle actually made that entire set and forced them to have a non-Christmas theme. He also wouldn’t allow Mason and Penelope there and then Kourtney bitched at him so much that he just did it (again, if you watched the christmas special you’d know)

    • idk says:

      This isn’t the first time they’ve had a non-Christmas theme. Also, since when does anyone force the Kardashians/Jenners to do anything? It was ultimately of their choosing. I watched the special, I liked the old footage of them as kids, that was interesting.

    • Kim1 says:

      WTH there was a Christmas special?
      There are no words…

      • Ann Carter says:

        “If you’d watched the KARDA$HIAN KRI$MESS SPECIAL YOU’D KNOW”
        I think the comments illustrate the fact that most of us would rather stick needles in our EYEBALLS.

  31. Lindy79 says:

    This is like the mural from the movie Xanadu

    If that movie was based in a hellish silicone porn world where people have zero talent, ability, faces made of linoleum and are generally twonks.

  32. bsh says:

    So, it’s a Christmas family card, which has nothing to do with Christmas, and that lacks almost half of the “family” (brother, in-laws and niece, yet the divorced father/stepfather is still in). The concept of this is almost as ridiculous as the result.

  33. Yelly says:

    They are OFFICIALLY off their rockers. Bruce in an incubator? Oh my goodness.

  34. Mayday says:

    what the fk am I looking at?

  35. Trillion says:

    Kim’s giving us her armpit for Christmas

  36. Palermo says:

    I think it’s the perfect card for them, shows what they are about, T and A, emasculating their men, vanity, rats, graffiti, nudes, garbage, money. Hopefully this will be the final nail in their coffin.

  37. Insomniac says:

    So this is a teaser for next season’s “American Horror Story,” right? Bruce even looks kind of like Spalding the pervy butler.

  38. Alexandria says:

    There is so much symbolism in this photo it’s not even funny. Like the poster said above, “What the f*cking-f*ck?”

    • gg says:

      The scene’s loaded with nothing but symbolism but it’s nothing but terrible stuff being symbolized.

  39. Kiddo says:

    IT’S GENIUS!

    pfft, nah, just f*ing with ya. It’s an apocalyptic dystopian future where zombie reality bots linger in a devastated Macys’ department store, and where the inhabitants are out to suck the life out of art, culture, or anything that is good left in the world, all for money and fame…maybe LaChappelle is genius after all.

    • NerdMomma says:

      Aaaaaa you just made it sound cool!

      *looks back at pic*

      Nah, your description is awesome but the photo still sucks.

  40. lucy2 says:

    I see the most important family member is there – the almighty $.

  41. Tracy says:

    What?

  42. lilibet1 says:

    Is that not baby North on the very right of the picture? The mahoosive baby photoshopped in??!

  43. Eleonor says:

    I reminds me of Britney Spears CIRCUS video.

    • gg says:

      At least in that context it made some sense, and it didn’t symbolize all that’s disgusting in western culture.

  44. SuSu says:

    if i had to choose a position in this photo i would choose Bruce´s place in the big glass tube.
    It would give me the feeling i could beam me out… of the family… and show… and the picture.

  45. Klaw says:

    Acutally, there is some crazy (sad) symbolism going on here –
    Bruce is trapped in the glass tube, looking out at a statue of an athlete with gold medals around it’s neck.
    Kim, the cash cow, has a giant dollar sign next to her.
    Kris is celebrating in the cashier’s booth – it even says “cashier” just behind her.

    Yiikes.

  46. littlestar says:

    Looking at that just gave me a severe case of vertigo.

  47. Denise says:

    I think I saw that painted on the side of a van in the 80s.

  48. TraceMik says:

    I remember a time, when Christmas cards had no photographs of a person on them. And they had a handwritten Christmas greeting inside. They were only mailed out to close friends and/or family members.

    • lisa2 says:

      Gosh weren’t those beautiful times..

      I love my friends.. but I am so tired of getting cards with their children on them. I don’t know what to do with them. I hate tossing them, but really what do you do with them.

      • BooBooLaRue says:

        For reals right? I like little ones, but I can’t take their stares from the fridge after the holidays are over…so they get disappeared until the next card shows up.

      • TraceMik says:

        I really don’t care for the pre-printed cards either, they seem so impersonal. Like the ones my dentist office sends out every year. I suppose I should be grateful just to get the card, but I know its mass mailed out to all their patients and it seems impersonal and detached. The opposite of what the holidays should be about.

      • Nina W says:

        Cut them up and make ornaments out of them; hate to go all Martha Stewart on you but you can make some really cute ornaments out of old Christmas cards/photos. It’s a fun craft project with kids, it reuses at least parts of the cards or photos and sometimes you end up with a really nice memento to hang every year. You can also re-gift the ornament to the original sender, especially if it’s photos of their kids. I’ve had some really positive responses to this even if it’s kitschy-crafty. It’s also economical but still thoughtful if times are tough.

      • MW says:

        Don’t knock your liking to do craft projects, Nina W. I do too. Plus, it beats the krap out of keeping up with the Kardashians.

  49. mellei says:

    This looks like something Kanye West would design and call GENIUS ART BEYOND ALL OTHER GENIUS ART.

  50. lady mary. says:

    i am sure this was meant for Halloween”

  51. S says:

    Bruce is in a GLASS CASE OF EMOTION! Also, you can see the “Coming Soon” sign with a baby Jesus- ahem- baby Yeezus above Khloe’s head. This whole thing is fantastic.

  52. hannah* says:

    Surely they must realise that this LaChapelle guy is trolling them with this photo? Surely???

  53. lisa2 says:

    One thing I can see is that the Photographer HATES THEM. Took their money and made them all look like the superficial things they are.

    This card reminds me of people that come into a lot of money and go to come garish furniture store and are suckered into buying the most crappiest stuff because the sales person tells them how high art it is.

    The Photographer is just showing the world how money hungry and low rent they are. And the thing that makes me laugh my ass off is Kris and company don’t see that the joke is on them. The Cash signs, ATM j

    All that glitters is not gold. Fools Gold yes.. but the real deal. NO

    • idk says:

      I think the E Network paid for the photographer. Remember, anything that airs on their show or any “special” they have, is paid for by E, including vacations.

      I think Kris Jenner is loving all the family drama and attention…otherwise season 9 is going to be boring, so yeah they are all eating up the attention, good or bad. If this Christmas card was tasteful and “Christmassy”, who would be talking about it? Wait, nevermind, something tasteful done by the Kardashians is NEWS too.

    • A Different Kate says:

      I too think LaChapelle is mocking them and, frankly, I don’t think the Kardashians get it. Probably why he didn’t want the little kids in it (a step too far to paint the toddlers with this garish fame-wh*re, consumerism brush). I think the Kardashians just think it is sparkley and shiny and pretty.

  54. mar says:

    I have no words for this…..

  55. shellybean says:

    I love how everything in the pic is about Kim, per usual. She’s the one standing on the stairs next to the big dollar sign and it’s pictures of her old face blown up in the background in the middle. Basically, she’s their original cash cow and the reason any of them are as rich as they are.

    It is one ugly card. I don’t think I’d hang that over my mantel if I received it in the mail. It might repel Santa.

  56. mmf says:

    Morticia Adams does it better.

  57. Noel says:

    The original stunt queen, PMK, has really out stunted herself with this one. However, they forgot to photoshop a picture of PMK’s BFF and business partner Lucifer into the mix. He’s the only reason this talentless family is famous. Nothing says happy holidays, like some sleazy Kardashian fame whoring!

  58. dorothy says:

    What a disaster all around.

  59. Summer says:

    DA FUQ?

  60. Andrea says:

    Is Kim wearing red color contacts in the picture of just her? She looks possessed.

  61. Mel says:

    There are no words for how ridiculous this is. I will never understand how they don’t get sick of seeing pictures of themselves. They look exactly the same in all of their pictures nothing changes except for maybe hair color (for Kim) and clothes.

  62. silvia says:

    This picture very accurately portraits the depravity of them all.
    I’m not very religious, but their God is money and famewhoring, they look as if they were from another world…or better yet, the Ninth circle of Hell…the symbolism in this one couldn’t be more clear. For what it’s worth, all their millions won’t keep them from old age, sickness, or dying..unless PMK prolongs her deal with the good ol’ pal Lucifer. Atrocious picture.. gives me creeps.

  63. Dommy Dearest says:

    You mean the Christmas card they did months ago? As well as filming their Christmas special months ago as well?

    That card looks like Lady Gaga threw up her artpop all over the place.

    I down vote this.

  64. Jayna says:

    I watched the show last night, and the minute they started carrying on about ditching their long-time photographer of their Christmas card photo and raving about how Dave LaChappelle was doing it, I knew that Kanye had his hand totally in that and talked Dave LaChappelle into doing it, like David would ever do a Christmas card Then the photographer gets there and he doesn’t want men in it, no children. Wow, what a family Christmas photo.

    It was hysterical how Kim was carrying on about what an amazing photographer he is and how she’s always wanted to be shot by him, kissing his ass, as was Kris. Kourtney and Khloe were just not getting it. I died laughing going she didn’t really worry about being shot by him until Kanye got in her ear, trying to elevate her. But the other sisters were getting irritated because it didn’t seem like a family photo to them. Kourtney was pissed and finally insisted her children would be in the shots by the end. And Bruce was put in it because Khloe and Bruce were pissed off about him being excluded, as the father figure in the family of a Christmas photo.

    Kanye wants to fire their Director of Photography for the show and why he doesn’t appear on it, he said. Now he changed the whole deal regarding just a family Christmas card. Kris and Kim are bowing down to Kanye. How long before the implosion. A year, two years?

  65. BeckyR says:

    The photographer must be laughing all the way to the bank. Somebody say it—-this picture stinks and only shows fools are soon parted with their money. Art my ass!

  66. Assistant Rachel says:

    Tacky. That is all.

  67. gg says:

    Dear Karda$$hians: Guess what – YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU.

  68. picopink says:

    Tacky, inappropriate, and ridiculous- just like them! I don’t know who is still watching this lame show, but please stop so it will go away. Why should they be famous? Kim has ruined her looks with surgery, she was truly beautiful. It’s a shame.

  69. islandwalker says:

    About as tacky and tasteless as it gets. Souless succubus.

  70. MavenTheFirst says:

    What a chaotic, cacophonous mess. The inner soul of the Kardashians. Well-played, LaChapelle.

  71. Cathy says:

    The Kardashian’s are so far removed from “reality” it isn’t even funny. The amount of money spent on that “Christmas card” could have fed hundreds of families …..it is disgusting.

  72. Zana says:

    Kardashians’ Kristmas Kard = KRAP, KREEPY, KRYPTIC, KACKLED, KALLOUS, KATASTROPHIC, etc….

  73. BooBooLaRue says:

    Just have to say all of the above comments are brilliant and funny!

  74. aoifs says:

    Did anyone notice what’s written above Kris’ head on the cashier desk? Lolz.

  75. Sassy says:

    I just viewed the Kard in more detail at NY Post. And yes, I am an artist. Look for a box of Wheaties with Bruce on it not far from Kourtney. The most interesting thing that I noticed is what appeared like a small bonfire in a large mesh trash bin with a nude looking woman next to it. Upon further inspection there are also at least 3 or 4 naked men leading down the center corridor before the fire. Above it are rays suggesting heaven. The K’s are standing on tabloid magazines strewn over the floor which are being fed into the fire. Could the corridor to the rear of the fire actually be the symbolic corridor to hell? Are the Kardashians descending to one of Dante’s levels? The design is clever. The various colored rays are nothing more than long neon lights affixed to the ceiling of the set.

  76. Sachi says:

    Pretentious and tacky. Kris is the only one who’s really loving it.

    Kendall and Kylie’s poses. The heck happened there…

    But I am intrigued with the background and the decor. It seems LaChapelle was making a commentary through symbolism and I don’t think the Kardashian-Jenners are actually aware of it. They probably thought the tabloids and dollar signs were just a reflection of their lifestyle…but maybe it’s something deeper. Bruce in a ‘capsule’ like that, isolated from the others like he is now that he and Kris have separated, but also trapped and “controlled”, exactly like how he’s been treated by Kris. Also he’ll forever be associated with this KUWTK trainwreck and he won’t be able to escape it.

    Kourtney is the least made-up, just surrounded by her children. It makes sense, since she loves her kids a lot and her world most likely revolves around them unlike her sister Kim’s with North. Her background is also uncluttered with tabloids and mannequins and other flashy signs. Her spot in the photo is more simply designed, surrounded by images of babies and newborns.

    And the mannequin legs strewn about probably mean all the plastic and fake parts that’s been pumped up in Kris, Kim, and Bruce’s faces and bodies.

  77. Mauibound says:

    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahah., omg I can’t breathe bwahahahahahahahah

  78. Savanna says:

    The amount to which Kim is trying to be Beyonce is now insane. Look at all the ‘shop on her face!

  79. Laurita says:

    People, please wake up. The symbolism and hidden meanings in this picture are MENTAL. You need to do some research and try to open your eyes to what is really going on in this world. This picture is a perfect example of the path we are all going down, collectively as a human race and most importantly, WHO is leading us there. As a starting point: vigilant citizen. Research, wake up, think critically, question everything, recognize the symbols and try to help us all shift our consciousness in to the positive. Stay vigilant!!

  80. Matty says:

    OH. MY. GAWD. Did Kanye design this mess? It sure looks like the work of the… yeenius.

  81. lisa says:

    it looks like the casino of the damned

    this cant bode well for our collective futures

  82. rudy says:

    I also think Chapelle was mocking them and not surprisingly, they were too stupid to understand. I always thought their Christmas card was over the top, but this one is as far out as Plato.

    Why are they are all standing a mile apart? You can’t even see them because the card is SO busy. I’m sure the one they mail is smaller than the one on my screen and I can’t see a thing.

    Why is the little boy draped on his belly on the bench? He looks like he just drowned. Kourtney’s hair is terrible. Apparently Khloe ripped her dress when she sat down. Of course PMK looks like a showgirl. The statue’s dick is bigger than Bruce’s, the KK Bobbsey Twins look miserable. And as usual Kim is nothing but a boob with a vacant stare.

  83. Lemondrop says:

    This card is what pinball machines look like in Hell.

    I’ll let you insert your own joke about where the balls bounce off.

  84. Tails says:

    I died when I saw Bruce trapped in the glass booth lol.

  85. P.J. says:

    I’m totally with Kaiser here-these people obviously do not have, nor have they ever had, any understanding of what an actual CHRISTMAS card is supposed to look like.

    Each year it’s just increasingly ridiculous shots of them in various states of over done posing in absurd outfits all whilst making duck lips and sporting drag queen-y makeup!

    How is this different than what all of them constantly post on their various social media pages any other day of the year?? *Nauseous*

  86. TG says:

    Am I the only one that thinks Kimmy looks like A bad version of Elizabeth Taylor when she was older and bloated? People on here are talking about all the symbolism goin on in this pic and I agree and find your ideas interesting, however, the Kartrashian’s are the butt if the joke since they are the ones who represent depravity and greed they can hardly be the ones trying to teach society. The Klan is unable to think beyond their own greed. PMK worships money.

  87. Vee says:

    Is that supposed to be Kayne, the baby to the left–as in he’s supposed to be the baby Jesus??
    Is he seriously sick or what?

    Strange famehos, these people. What are the Katrashians going to do now that Kimmie has lost her looks doing too much plastic surgery? Now she just looks like a common cheap pro on the street? Sort of like Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray, her face is changing and catching up to her interior. The rest of them, except maybe one of the Jenner girls, are actually of very normal looks.

  88. nikko says:

    Kendall looks the best! They need to do a real Christmas card, because this is more Art! And the next the need to include eveyone, all the boys (including the Jenner boys and his wife), babies, everyone.

  89. lili says:

    hahahaa
    maybe next year they can get that Terry Richardson freak to do the x mas pic!

  90. babythestarsshinebrite says:

    I hate that these people make me feel less like the open-minded, free spirited person that I am. I never knew I could be so judgmental. What about all the understanding I have for folks regardless if they are right or wrong, like, what happened to that?

    • Nina W says:

      Come now, every adult learns to have some appreciation for whether or not someone is worthy of respect and consideration based on their behavior. I don’t wish ill on the K-Klan but they are disgusting people, worthy of contempt and criticism regardless of how liberal minded and compassionate I am.

  91. HotPockets says:

    This picture is genuinely creepy because it symbolizes everything that is wrong with the entertainment industry. Thoughts:

    A) If you zoom in to Kendell and Kylie, there is a hand grasping onto Kendell’s head, like she is under some form of control/ handlers ownership. Right behind the girls is a wheaties box with Bruce Jenner on it, back when he was an athelete, and the box of cereal is placed in front of the same pyramid on our currency, with the all seeing eye at the top. I feel like that whole backdrop is letting you know who is in charge of the Kardashian machine.

    B) Bruce Jenner is in a glass cage staring at a former version of himself or at least a mannequin wearing his Olympic medals (that’s not creepy). Is he passively letting us know what he gave up to be a part of this greedy family.

    C) A Dollar sign right next to Kim’s ass, along with every tabloid magazine she has been featured on.

    D) A sign that says “Fame” and another one that says “Cashier” next to Pimp Mama Kris, way to be subtle…

    E) If you zoom in even more, there is the Rolling Stone cover in that card that features Kanye West depicted as Christ.

  92. Suki2 says:

    Brilliant. Fantastic set.

  93. Nina W says:

    The symbolism is very heavy handed and yet no one has mentioned the obvious interpretation of Bruce in his glass cage, he is living in the glass house, isn’t he?

  94. TG says:

    Okay, just watched about 10 minutes of their Christmas Special and can’t watch anymore because both Bruce and Kim are so grotesque. WTF has Kimmy done to her face? She looks like one of those Real Housewife people with the plastic unmovable face. Kimmy is only 32 right? Why the heck has she done this to her once beautiful face? This is horrific. Also, what is that nasty stuff on Bruce’s nose? He has destroyed his face too.

    • idk says:

      He had skin cancer and had to have it removed. He had it on one side of his face a year or two ago, and now on his nose.

  95. LahdidahBaby says:

    Jeesus save me, it looks EXACTLY like a migraine aura, but with sluts thrown in.

  96. Sue says:

    Got to love these guys! There is definitely some symbolism here – but as usual the average poster is just to dumb to recognize it. That I guess is why they have the money and posters on gossip sites do not.

  97. cleo says:

    I love it. Is it some kind of abandoned shopping mall? Consumer ruins? A tabloid tsunami?

  98. michele says:

    This family is truly bizarre.

  99. Linda says:

    Missing a Bing Crosby or Perry Como Christmas show. Remembering how Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra blended their families for a beautiful Christmas show as well. The class of the past!

  100. Caz says:

    Good golly…Celebitchies are on fire today. Don’t hold back.

    Picture the scene…the first photo option was Kim as Mary, Kanye as Joseph and North as the holy baby. Then Kanye had a tanty “I’m Yeezus. No baby’s taking that away from me”. Well, it all descended pretty quickly into this technicolour vision of Hell.

  101. Evi says:

    Who, or should I ask, WTF are these people?
    Famous for doing absolutely nothing. Untalented, surgically enhanced dimwits that made the Dolls in Valley of the Dolls look like Einstein.

  102. rinaz says:

    Who’s that in the last picture? If it’s Kim, I don’t recognize her at all!

  103. Frenzy says:

    Looks like one of those hidden object games halloween special! SMH