Lindsay Lohan threw cracked-out tantrums every day she was in Miami, how shocking

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Here are some photos of Lindsay Lohan at the Jingle Ball on Friday night in NYC. Lindsay looks… um… well, from certain angles and in certain lighting, she looks healthy-ish. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that she’s back on Adderall to control her weight – she seems to have significantly de-bloated over the past few months, and I don’t buy that this new look is the result of working out. I’m not sure what to make of her pantslessness or what to do about those latex stockings/boots. It’s like she’s trying to channel a really crackie version of Raccoon McPantless only this is somehow worse. She makes Taylor Momsen look fresh as a daisy.

Anyway, yes, she’s back in New York after a whirlwind trip to Miami, which featured plenty of old-school crack shenanigans, at least one violent altercation, a flee from justice, a cracked-out hotel change to avoid the fuzz, and (I’m assuming) enough cocaine to make it a White Christmas for all of Miami. But as it turns out, there was SO MUCH MORE crack drama than we originally thought. Classic Cracken:

Lindsay Lohan’s wild week in Miami during Art Basel, which culminated in a fight where Barron Hilton allegedly received a serious beatdown, was filled with tantrums, meltdowns and obsessive behavior RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.

“Lindsay was a mess at every event at Art Basel,” a source who was with the post-rehab star at multiple events said about her behavior. “She was so careful never to be caught with a drink in her hand and no one saw her do any drugs.”

However, the 27-year-old’s erratic behavior was noticeable by other attendees of the A-list events she attended.

“Lindsay would be at a party in a VIP section with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and she would start freaking out that people were taking pictures of her and make security throw people out. But the crazy thing was, NO ONE was taking pictures of HER, if anything it was of Kanye and Kim.”

As Radar previously reported, Lindsay has set her sights on a guy almost a decade younger than she is, Morgan O’Connor, who was in a long term relationship with a girl who goes to school in Miami, and they had a few run-ins during the week.

“Lindsay had a tantrum when she would see Morgan’s ex-girlfriend at events,” an eyewitness revealed. “She would throw her arms in the air, stomp her feet and fling her hair around. She was acting like she was 10 years old.”

As for her relationship with the dreadlocks wearing Ralph Lauren model, the fight with Barron Hilton may have been the end of their romance.

“Morgan wants nothing to do with her at all. He is telling people that he is nervous and freaking out that his career is going to be affected by all her crazy evilness. She’s obsessed with him. He is telling his friends is NOT her boyfriend and doesn’t want to be with her.”

[From Radar]

LOL, this is so classic. These are the stories that we always hear about Lindsay – it’s like Cracken Mad Libs at this point. Would you like to do this? Here’s your fill-in-the-blank task (just cut-and-paste in the comments with your answers):

“When Lindsay Lohan was in ________, she went clubbing at _____ and acted like a cracked-out mess in the _______. She had a hissy fit over _____ and started screaming “ _______” and flailing her _____. When she saw _______, she threw a ____ in his/her face. She ended the night by crashing her _____ into a police ______ then she ran over a _____ as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing ____ at the time.”

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN.

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99 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan threw cracked-out tantrums every day she was in Miami, how shocking”

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  1. tila says:

    Disgusting mess.

  2. 28blue says:

    I question the source of this story. Radar and TMZ have been all over the place with the events, switching between guilt to non-involvement of Lindsay’s time in Miami. They just milking a week old story just to get hits and comments. Plus she was with her brother and friends/assistants for most of the photo taken of her or by her on instagram.

    • Decloo says:

      I agree. There are other sources that say she was just fine and not involved in the Barron Hilton thing at all. We need to take all of this with a hearty grain of salt.

  3. Goofpuff says:

    Not a hot mess, just a cracked out mess.

    • janie says:

      Oprah can pick them…. I’d like to understand what that outfit has to do with Christmas?

      • Debbie says:

        It was a choice born of a lot of white powder?

        More and more I’m starting to think that Oprah is getting exactly what she paid for. She’s not stupid. She knows what happens when you give an addict $2M. And who will watch a series about a clean and sober Lindsay?

        Maybe being confronted by Oprah at the end of all this, with video of all her crackadoos, might … eh. I’m done with hoping anything will help this girl.

  4. jess says:

    I was watching mean girls yesterday and it made me a little sad. She had so much potential back then.

    Those pics….what did she do to her face?

    • 28blue says:

      She looks pretty and healthy in other photos from Jingle Ball. I don’t think she on anything and shows that her skin has a glow to it. She appeared happy and energized. Hope it translate to new opportunities, movies and such..

      • littlestar says:

        It’s not going to translate to new movies for her. She killed her movie career years ago and there’s no going back now. Whether she started that fight or not, she obviously hasn’t gotten her shit together – she’s still going to drug parties in places like Art Basel when she should be stearing clear of them. And who would even want her in a movie when there’s been tons of talent these past few years who could easily replace her?

      • The Original G says:

        +1 Littlestar.

        If she gave a crap about a film career she would get an acting coach, get to the gym and stop hanging out in random rented drug houses.

      • Hautie says:

        “28blue says….. She looks pretty and healthy in other photos from Jingle Ball….”
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Dang Dina… did you get a new handle?

      • ctkat1 says:

        +1 Littlestar. Talent isn’t an inexhaustible well that one can return to again and again…acting is a craft, and it requires focus and practice and work. She was a naturally talented girl and young woman, but all of the drugs and shenanigans and plastic surgery and drama have eclipsed the natural talent she once had. She hasn’t actually worked on being an actor for years- certain not since she was 21 or 22. I think that the last decent acting she did was in 2007’s “Georgia Rule.” Since then, it’s been tv appearances or indie softcore where her acting was distracting.
        And now she’s 27, and there are so many other young actresses who have been working the past 6 years and are every bit as talented as she once was, and far more talented than she currently is.

      • moot says:

        @littlestar @ctkat1 truth. For the person who famously declared in an interview that she’d win an Oscar before age 30, how do you think she felt last year when Jennifer Lawrence won? At 22?

    • Evelyn says:

      Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies ever, and I loved Lindsay in it.
      But now I guess she’s on crack

  5. HH says:

    I can’t even stifle a laugh anymore; not even a haughty “I told you so.” Just pity. This is going to end awfully. My only hope is that she’s not behind the wheel of a car with the ability to take someone else’s life.

  6. Stef Leppard says:

    What is up with those strange pajamas she’s wearing? Is Jingle Ball a comfy dominatrix PJ party?

  7. Birdie says:

    For a while she looked sober, but now she looks like she’s using again. I always know she is on something when she poses with her finger in her mouth. Google it, it’s ridiculous.

  8. Kristen says:

    When Lindsay Lohan was in London, she went clubbing near Posh & Becks’ home and acted like a cracked-out mess in Harper’s nursery. She had a hissy fit over how Harper’s designer duds are more expensive than hers and started screaming “I CAN BE A BABY, TOO” and flailing her arms. When she saw David (who screamed, “What the f*** are you doing in our home?”), she threw a rattle in his face. She ended the night by crashing her boobs into a police car, and then she ran over a fuzzy British kitten as she was fleeing the scene.

    Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually knitting quietly at the time.

  9. GeeMoney says:

    That outfit is FUG.

    I’m not too surprised by the Cracken’s antics… it was just a matter of time before she went back to her old crackie ways. Sad.

  10. 28blue says:

    She is also getting active again with music….http://mafialohan.tumblr.com/post/70058160707. Can’t slam her for trying and engaging in work.

  11. Nudgie says:

    I can’t even read about her anymore. Yes, I am posting about the article, but it’s just Lohan-fatigue. I won’t read anything about her and her family again. Who’s with me?

    • Frida_K says:

      Me.

      This is my last read of a Cracken post. I’m done with it.

      • Sugar says:

        Yup I’m feeling the LILO fatigue & my blood pressure which normally reads near dead seems to rise when I read about her 9 lives antics. I called her out prior to the last rehab & now I feel just like I’m being drawn into her orbit of crack craze again. I must look myself in the mirror this morning & ask myself am I ready for another round of cracktinis?

    • Lem says:

      The nice thing (?) I had severe Lilo overload. I honestly didn’t read a Lohan post in about a year. But looky there, I take a year off, and when I tuned back in, she is right where I left her and … Mad libs!
      Look at Lohan being dependable 🙂

  12. Montréalise says:

    Interesting choice of words in the article; not “She didn’t drink or do drugs” but instead, ”She was so careful never to be caught”. Any addiction counsellor will tell you that the absolute worst thing a recovering addict or alcoholic can do is to surround herself with people who are drinking or doing drugs, and yet this is exactly what she has been doing non-stop since leaving rehab.

    • deehunny says:

      Absolutely. The idea that she is clean is laughable since, as you accurately said, all she’s been doing since she got out of rehab is “sober partying” and surrounding herself with drugs and alcohol.

  13. Annie says:

    She’s the worst person ever and now she figured out a way to make a living out of partying. Tara Reid 2.0. Soon, the next generation of people she parties with won’t be old enough to know why she was once a big deal but that won’t stop her. She will have a huge crisis when she hits 30. Mark my words.

  14. Abbicci says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in the Los Angeles YOLO detention center, she went clubbing at well, everywhere and acted like a cracked-out mess in the Men’s Room. She had a hissy fit over how dirty her knees got and started screaming “ Someone needs to shower with me” and flailing her dignity and self respect. When she saw an easy mark , she threw a bunch of sweaty dollar bills in his/her face. She ended the night by crashing her hopes and dreams into a police bouncy house then she ran over a woman who looked just like her Mother as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing Buddhist prayers at the time.”

    Oh, Mad libs are my fave. Can we do a Jessica Biel edition next?

    • hunter says:

      “flailing her dignity and self respect”

      Thank you for this, priceless.

      oh and it just got better with “crashing her hopes and dreams into a police bouncy house…”

    • Green Is Good says:

      HA ha ha!!! Love your Mad Lib!

  15. Lucky says:

    Her face looks so different- it is a mash up of leanne and brandy- weird

  16. Clara says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in Miami she went clubbing at Cameo and acted like a cracked-out mess in the balcony. She had a hissy fit over selzer and started screaming “ THESE BUBBLES AREN’T BUBBLY ENOUGH!” and flailing her vagina. When she saw Kim Kardashian she threw a sock full of broken glass in her face. She ended the night by crashing her vagina into a police dog then she ran over that same dog as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing rat poison at the time.”

  17. Kiddo says:

    She does not look healthy in those photos.

  18. Garrett says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in New York she went clubbing at 1Oak and acted like a cracked-out mess in the parking lot. She had a hissy fit over not getting a parking spot and started screaming “ Move that cone, I’m Lindsay Lohan!” and flailing her arms like a two year old. When she saw an ex, she threw a glass of champagne in his/her face. She ended the night by crashing her porsche into a police station then she ran over a baby as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing yoga at the time.”

    • Sugar says:

      Awesome! You covered some of the best of crackie events & in my perfect world she would crash her Porsche into a police station-it would be karmic relief for all things LILO as if to say “there! Is that enough evidence guys?”

  19. lovegossipbutnotL&E says:

    TMZ just posted she is writing a “tell all” book! Hahaha Can you imagine how she will twist everything to make nothing she did her fault?

    On a side note, I was just thinking the other day while reading a post about her that I’m surprised she hasn’t written her “life” story in a book yet.

    It will be a joke! 😀

  20. the original bellaluna says:

    Great. Beiby’s wearing saggy diaper-leggings (deggings?) and now Blohan’s wearing onsies. I’m afraid to ask/see what’s next.

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in LA, she went clubbing at The Chateau and acted like a cracked-out mess in the VIP bathroom. She had a hissy fit over a hallucinated slight and started screaming “ Move your ass!! I’m Lindsay Lohan!!” and flailing her braless boobs. When she saw Paris Hilton, she threw an entire bottle of ‘water’ in his/her face. She ended the night by crashing her Porsche [who keeps giving her these things?!?] into a police officer, then she ran over an entire family as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing yoga at the time.

    As usual, the LAPD is investigating the incident, but Lindsay is claiming it’s the family’s fault for being on the sidewalk where she wanted to drive, so the LAPD will continue to do nothing.”

  21. FreeBunny says:

    I take pity on her more than anything.

    • Kiddo says:

      I do too. I realize she is an adult, but look at the clusterF* of dysfunction created by her parents. I just can’t experience schadenfreude with someone who seems to be heading in the direction of death.

      • lovegossipbutnotL&E says:

        Pity?? Really?? Where was her pity when she did all the awful things she did? The difference with her and other addicts is, not all addicts are horrible horrible people too. She has been given soooo many 2nd chances and she screws everyone of them up! There are so many people with addiction problems that would take those chances and make something of themselves with them. She is not a good person and that is why there will never be any pity from me! Addiction is not her problem. Her problem is herself and her entitled feeling that she does no wrong and everything is everone else’s fault! :O

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        RDJ’s dad ‘neither encouraged or warned him away’ from drugs (when he started doing drugs at like 10)—he wasn’t running people over, stealing from anyone and everyone he could, or blaming his problems on anyone. I do feel bad for her sometimes, but enough’s enough.

      • Kiddo says:

        @lovegossipbutnotL&E, I don’t think she is particularly a nice or good person. I just don’t feel the type of strong sentiment, like hatred, for her because she isn’t some iron-fisted despot, or CIA agent, who physically tortures or kills people. She is pathetic. But do I wish her the path she is going down? No. Because the type of drugs she has used, including alcohol, put a great deal of strain on the heart. I certainly don’t wish her death. There are a lot worse people in the world who wouldn’t be missed. And I agree that she has issues beyond her addictions. I still think it has to do with her parents and upbringing. Frankly, even though she is an adult, her parents are still using her for their causes and gain. Of course she should act like an adult and deal with it all, but if she doesn’t, it’s still sad, in spite of her being an a*hole.

      • Kiddo says:

        @Virgilia Coriolanus, I agree, but RDJ’s father didn’t need to use him for his own gain, finances and career advancement. There may be very different reasons why he got started using, as opposed to Lohan. Again, I’m not saying that I like her at all. She needs to suffer consequences for her actions to change, but she might just suffer the ultimate consequence and I don’t wish that on her. She doesn’t look well in those photos.

  22. Lem says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in denial, she went clubbing at warp speed and acted like a cracked-out mess in the worst way. She had a hissy fit over everything and started screaming “it wasn’t me; I was framed_” and flailing her firecrotch. When she saw TMZ, she threw a pose or 2 in his/her face. She ended the night by crashing her rented, faulty porshe into a police station then she ran over a photog as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing fine at the time.”

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in Rome, she went clubbing at the Vatican and acted like a cracked-out mess in the confessional. She had a hissy fit over stale crackers and started screaming “ Jesus” and flailing her rosary. When she saw the Pope, she threw a wine chalice in his face. She ended the night by crashing her vespa into a police box then she ran over a newborn babe as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing court ordered therapy, which the therapist will confirm, at the time.”

  23. Debbie says:

    That half-bow kiss-blowing pose is LiLo semaphore for “yerp, I am completely out of control”. It always starts with the kiss-blowing and ends with the jail-dodge in rehab.

  24. coconut says:

    on the up side, no more fish lips! chipmunk cheeks??

  25. Lem says:

    Way to rehab your image in a smartly worded T!
    Stupid cracken

  26. Kaiser says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in Manhattan, she went clubbing at her john’s lair and acted like a cracked-out mess in the harem pit. She had a hissy fit over her payment schedule and started screaming “DON’T TAKE MY PHOTO, PUT HIM IN JAIL” and flailing her crack weave. When she saw a better-looking prostitute, she threw a syringe in her face. She ended the night by crashing her Hummer into a police captain then she ran over a Nobel laureate as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing a performance art project at the time.”

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      KAISER! How dare you?! Don’t you know that Lindsey is a darling, precious, angelic, Elizabeth Taylor/Marilyn Monroe reincarnation, and is only channeling her inner Joaquin Phoenix, to produce a mockumentary of only the FINEST acting that the Academy has ever seen?!

  27. elisabeth says:

    I am so sick of the ‘blowing kisses’ pose. Yuck

  28. elo says:

    Am I the only one that didn’t think she was all that great in mean girls. I thought everyone else’s performance was far superior to hers. I just watched the Linda Lovelace movie with Amanda Seifreid (sp?) and though it was no Oscar winner, I kept thinking how much worse it would have been with Cracken. Her career is done, there is no Oscar or comeback in her future, just reality shows and a trailer park.

    • Kristin says:

      THIS!! Everyone is always talking about the “Mean Girls star” and how great she was, and I personally thought she blew. Just about everyone in that movie was way better than her. I thought Rachel McAdams was the true star/talent of the movie. My mom and I are always saying that we don’t understand why everyone is always going on and on about how talented she supposedly is. I think her acting is flat as hell. I just don’t see it.

    • hunter says:

      Agreed – everything I’ve seen her in recently (Liz & Dick, Glee spot, SNL, etc.) she is not “acting” at all and just making noise with her mouth. I watched a small piece of The Canyons and James Dean was more enigmatic on screen.

      She lost any talent she may have once had – as another commenter pointed out, she has not been building or honing her craft in any way like other actresses, she plateaued, stalemated and is now in an epic nose-dive and her “talent” is nowhere to be seen.

      Lovelace wasn’t bad, just watched it. Amanda Seyfried doesn’t appear to be terribly bright in interviews but she’s quite a good actress.

    • bluhare says:

      You aren’t, elo. She was basically playing herself; what a stretch.

  29. NerdMomma says:

    Best comments section ever. Truly I hope Lohan turns her life around, but right now my stomach hurts from laughing 🙂

  30. Shelley says:

    See how much ‘pity’ you have for her when she’s behind the wheel and kills someone you care about.

    These are her choices.

    No one, not even her gross parents, forced her to be such an arrogant, entitled ass. She’s had countless chances at quality rehabs that most people could only dream of affording, yet she wallows in returning to her low-life friends and habits. Stop assuming everyone wants to live a clean, healthy life and wants to work to achieve good things. She did a decent job in a well-written movie (Mean Girls) many years ago; thousands of other actresses would have shone in that role and would have valued the career opportunities they then has. Not this one. She wants it all handed to her because she is Marilyn Monroe Incarnate. Whatever talent and appeal she had is long gone.

  31. Chelsey says:

    Well I guess she went ahead and got that double chin remover procedure…

  32. Nicolette says:

    And this is news? Instead of her shirt saying “Same old chic” it should say “Same old s**t”.

  33. WendyNerd says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in Los Angeles, she went clubbing at Hyde and acted like a cracked-out mess in the VIP section. She had a hissy fit over being mistaken for Courtney Love and started screaming “I WANT TO EAT ALL THE OSCARS” and flailing her feet. When she saw a kitten, she threw a bag of meth in its face. She ended the night by crashing her porsche into a police care then she ran over a black kid as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing bath salts at the time.”
    “When Lindsay Lohan was in Jack Nicholson’s bathroom, she went clubbing at the sink and acted like a cracked-out mess in the shower. She had a hissy fit over not being given all of Nicholson’s Oscars and started screaming “I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL! I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!!!!” and flailing her labia. When she saw Jennifer Lawrence, she threw a turd in her face. She ended the night by crashing her Ford Fiesta into a police station then she ran over a toddler as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing him at the time.”

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in Scotland, she went clubbing at some random insurance saleswoman’s house and acted like a cracked-out mess in the kitchen. She had a hissy fit over the burners not working well enough to cook her heroin and started screaming the lyrics to ‘Little Bunny Foo Foo’ and flailing her vomit-covered Birkin bag. When she saw the family’s fourteen year old son, she threw a piece of paper with her cell number in his face. She ended the night by crashing her tricycle (later revealed to in fact belong to the insurance saleswoman’s three year old daughter) into a police motorcycle then she ran over a magic mushroom as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing the hokey-pokey at the time.”

    This is fun!

    • Sea Dragon says:

      Omgod so funny!

    • tracymd says:

      lol

    • bluhare says:

      No. 2 for the win!

      When Lindsay Lohan was in Hawaii, she went clubbing on the banzai pipeline, and acted like like a cracked out mess I the luau pit. She had a hissy fit over the board wax not being hard enough to smoke, and started screaming BOOK EM DINA! and flailing her grass skirt weave . When she saw Gabrielle Reese, she threw a volleyball in her face. She ended the night by crashing her unicycle into a shaved ice stand, then ran over Laird Hamilton on his surfboard as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan said Lindsay was actually at hula lessons at the time.

  34. DreamyK says:

    Nice roots, LiLo.

    Rumor has it she might pen a tell-all. I wouldn’t buy it and I don’t think I could even hate read it.

    You know what was a fast read and entertaining book? Bobbie Brown’s “Dirty Rocker Boys”. I picked up a copy after reading about it here on Celebitchy…I felt bad for her daughter but the dirt she dished was pretty prime. Girl is probably the only woman on earth who has said “NO” to Prince. Heh

  35. Sea Dragon says:

    I can just see it: LeAnn in the corner of her once well organized closet, her phone plugged into a set of loud speakers on infinite redial to what she thinks is EC’s new number, reading this and yelling, “And they say I’M crazy!” Then she takes another swig from her bottle of vodka, stuffs another donut into her face, burps loudly and buries her head in her pillow sobbing like there’s no tomorrow.

  36. MiMi says:

    at first glance I thought her shirt said, SAME OLD HO.

  37. Kathryn says:

    Lindsay has always had a distinctive husky voice but if you watch the video of her introducing miley at jingle ball she was talking before the camera showed her and IT WAS UNRECOGNIZABLE. Her voice since her Oprah interview is totally different, deeper and more smokerish. I almost think she could be sober because she sounds like she upped her cigarette intake by 4 packs a day.

  38. Lucky Charm says:

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in REHAB, she went clubbing at THE V.I.P. CLUB and acted like a cracked-out mess in the COAT CHECK. She had a hissy fit over THE VALET REFUSING TO PARK HER CAR and started screaming “ MOVE THAT CONE” and flailing her COKE STASH. When she saw PARIS HILTON, she threw a PUNCH in her face. She ended the night by crashing her STOLEN HORSE into a police BARRICADE then she ran over a NUN as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was actually doing BIBLE STUDY at the time.”

    This is fun! We should have these every week. 🙂

  39. Blackbetty says:

    Sad she chose to waste her life like this. I’m almost 27 aswell, but she always looks her mothers age and cracked out.

  40. Apple says:

    When she starts taking pictures with sticking her fingers in her mouth and blowing kisses pretending she is Marilyn Monroe she is back on the crack and booze.

    Nothing and no one can save this girl.

  41. sparkle_burnout says:

    Dammit, so sad. I had my fingers crossed, but no.

  42. BobbieFisher says:

    I see it in her face – it’s the bloated-I-just-drank-a-bottle-of-vodka-and-snorted-some-adderall look. I can tell now when she’s sober and when she’s on the sauce and the dope. And believe me – she’s on the booze and the drugs. Oh yeah baby – she’s on the Adderall – way on it. The way she’s been puffing those cigs one after the other? That’s a sure give-away. Gird your loins everyone – She’s back, oh yeah – she’s back to her crackie-self. Also her eyes look different.

  43. Penny says:

    Three simple words: Borderline personality disorder. That or she is just an asshole. She aint sober either. If she was serious about her sobriety she would have stayed away from clubs and parties but no she has not. People are so stupid for hiring her too. What the hell do they expect? She has not changed nor she ever will.

  44. TeresaGiudice says:

    Three cheers for Cracken Mad Libs!

    “When Lindsay Lohan was in the sewer she went clubbing at Courtney Love’s newly rented crack den and acted like a cracked-out mess in the hood. She had a hissy fit over someone stealing her Chanel bag and started screaming “ Bitch, that’s my Chanel. I stole it first!” and flailing her arms(covered in fresh cigarette burns). When she saw Paris Hilton she threw a bottle of ‘herp be gone’ in his/her face. She ended the night by crashing Oprah’s Bugatti Veyron into a police station. Then she ran over a group of old ladies in an IHOP parking lot as she was fleeing the scene. Michael Lohan says Lindsay was completely sober at the time and just getting into character for her new film role.”

  45. Penny says:

    When Lindsay Lohan was in Branson, Missouri, she went clubbing at the gas station bathroom and acted like a cracked out mess in one of stalls. She threw a hissy fit over dropping her meth pipe into the toilet. She started screaming and flailing her low hanging titties. When she saw Michael Lohan she threw feces into his face. She ended the night by crashing her hearse into a police car. Then she ran over a man named Cletus and a family of ferrets and as she fled the scene. Michael Lohan said Lindsay was actually doing charity work for deformed, three legged albino children who stare at goats of Southern Sri Lanka.

    • tracymd says:

      omg, laughing so hard I can barely breathe. Branson, Missouri; gas station; children who stare at goats. lol

  46. logan says:

    Every time she air blows a kiss, a butterfly looses its ability to fly. Stop the madness!!

  47. Quinn says:

    I am declaring myself LILO free from this point on…I’m giving not another second of attention to this vermin.