Over the weekend, we discussed how Kesha (Ke$ha!) checked into a rehab/treatment facility to deal with what seems to be a raging eating disorder. Just on the surface level of this story, I already had mixed feelings. Granted, I don’t know Kesha, but I always thought she was more into getting drunk and doing drugs as opposed to going on extreme diets. I sometimes feel like these young women SAY they’re getting treatment for an eating disorder – because that’s something more wholesome/palatable/sympathetic – when they’re really struggling with a drinking or drugging problem. Still, I guess the important thing is that Kesha is getting some help. At the end of the day, that’s what’s important.
But now we’re getting stories about how Kesha’s eating disorder came to be. TMZ’s sources claim that Kesha’s long-time music producer Dr. Luke said some really rude, insulting things to her and he “gave” her a complex about her body:
Ke$ha is telling friends her eating disorder was caused by her very own music producer Dr. Luke — claiming he bashed her weight and even called her a big, fat refrigerator … TMZ has learned.
Sources directly connected to Ke$ha tell us … it all started when the singer’s “Get Sleazy” tour ended in 2011. She says Luke — who signed Ke$ha to a deal at age 18 — started ragging on her over the extra lbs she had gained in her downtime.
Ke$ha says Luke — a huge producer who has worked with Miley Cyrus and Rihanna — began calling Ke$ha fat and urged her management team to do something about it.
Our sources say Ke$ha complained … during a music video shoot in 2012 Luke told her she “looks like a f***ing refrigerator” … and the singer was profoundly affected by it.
We broke the story … Ke$ha is now in rehab for an eating disorder. Calls to Dr. Luke went unanswered.
Again, I have mixed emotions. For one, if even a fraction of this is true, Dr. Luke sounds like a mega-tool, a douchebag and someone who should not be allowed around women. I’d be willing to bet that Dr. Luke simply never had an experience like that before, where one of the women he worked with had gained some weight, and instead of dealing with the “image crisis” in an adult way, he went all douchebag frat boy on her.
As for this idea that it was Dr. Luke alone who “gave” Kesha an eating disorder… I have issues with that line of thinking. Eating disorders are much more complicated than a simple A + B = C, “this one a—hole said mean stuff, thus I have an eating disorder” situation. I’m sure it was a million times worse for Kesha when the insults were coming from a man she respected, the man who championed her career and built her “sound.” Still, there’s more going on with Kesha than a simple “Dr. Luke said horrible things to her.”
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I don’t understand why ‘fat-shamed’ is in inverted commas. It’s a real thing.
I think the inverted commas are acknowledging that it’s relatively new, informal figure of speech, not suggesting that the concept’s not valid.
If true, he should eat dirt. Forever.
You can’t “give” someone an eating disorder-but you sure as hell can trigger pre-existing issues. don’t know about the drug use, but this chick did not conform to the whole Gaga/Madonna skeleton crew. I can see how the pressure got to her. She was fine before!
+1
Seriously, if you’re working in this industry and people are telling you constantly to lose weight or that you look like a refrigerator (what a stupid comparison by the way) I would develop an eating disorder as well – and I’m pretty grounded. Sure, most of the times there are other issues on the table, but one shouldn’t underestimate the power of words and the pressure of the industry.
This. I have plenty of body image issues, and if someone were to ask me the simple question of “why,” my mind immediately goes to my mother. Her snide comments, fake concern, etc. over my body (that she has been throwing at me my entire life) is directly correlated to why I have the thoughts I do. I do think that even if she hadn’t said these things, I would still be self-conscious, but the pain & trauma of someone you respect/love/care about saying demeaning things to you takes a huge toll and can trigger it even more.
Thank you, Sapphire, Liv, and Brown for your insightfully vivid posts.
@brown- same here it is incredibly painful when some one you love and respect negatively critique your body. The thing my mother has said about my body still burn deep today. I could lose more weight- I took pills, my nose was to big- I got it done, its always something….Luckily I have supportive friends that didn’t agree with my mothers perception of my flawed body thought i was beautiful before. It really helps to surround yourself with people that find your beauty within not out, because in truth we are all beautiful the god made us. Look at Kimmode- much prettier before all the “tweaks”
Brown, I had the same kind of experience with my mother. My whole life she told me I was fat and ugly and that no one would want me. Now I’m 28 and married but I still have really low self-esteem because of her. It’s hard to move past that.
I know from experience that it can take one person making a few snide comments to someone with underlying body image issues to trigger an eating disorder. I had an ex say things like “are you sure you want fries” and “you should get a bigger size pants next time” and then used the fat b*tch insult when he was mad when I was about 120 pounds in college. I ended up developing an eating disorder that haunted me for a very long time.
Same type of situation I found myself in – an ex told me that he was “repulsed” by my weight and that he couldn’t find it in him to even want to hug me or be seen with me. That triggered an eating disorder that I still have to this day.
He did apologize by saying, “I shouldn’t have said that… but aren’t you so much happier now?” Dick.
I’d like to give each and every one of you ladies struggling with an eating disorder a big hug.
My father was the one who constantly critiqued my diet and appearance and it cut deep. Then, in high school, a boy that liked me (who I rejected) came up to me at a party, poked me in the belly and told me to be careful because he could “almost pinch an inch.” I remember that being the defining moment that triggered my ED. Of course, now I know that his comment had more to do with my rejecting him than it did with my weight, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still struggle with body image issues to this day.
My ex called me a fat pig once in our 10yrs together. We’ve been divorced since 05 and I still remember it. It didn’t matter he was out of his mind drunk. He said it and I really tried to blow it off and shift blame but..it’s out there in the universe now and part of my personal history.
I DO happen to think that Dr. Luke’s comments were that damaging to a young woman and there needs to be some kind of disciplinary action in place to prevent him from doing this kind of sh*t to other impressionable young girls/women.
Absolutely on the trigger thing. Eating disorders have deep but very sensitive roots. It doesn’t take much to damage the whole root system once triggered.
Seriously why are old basic looking men allowed to body shame young women? Also this guy makes crap music. He is responsible for so much formulaic shit music.
I agree! Does Dr Luke have bulging muscles and piercing eyes? No? then he needs to stuff it.
I just want to defend all the men who don’t have bulging muscles who are still attractive, and the women who are attracted to them. Not everyone likes bulging muscles on a man.
Whats attractive about him Jessica? The misogyny? You are seriously missing the point here. If he didn’t act like a misogynist douchebag no one would pay attention to his less than perfect looks. Its the hypocrisy inherent.
This is to Leah: I don’t think that Jessica was defending Dr. Luke, I think that she was simply stating that men don’t have to have bulging muscles in order to be attractive. If we think that Dr. Luke is an ass for attacking Ke$ha because she’s not naturally a small woman, then we also shouldn’t be shaming men whose bodies don’t conform to the norm of what is considered attractive for their gender.
@Renee No one shamed men who arent attractive as such, you are twisting whats being said. The assumption is that he told Kesha she should loose weight etc in a not so nice way.. and so rightly so its asked why does a man who he himself don’t adhere to the perfect body image feel he has the right to comment on a womans body in an abusive way? I don’t think this equals shaming so called non conventionally attractive men, its pointing out the hypocrisy of this particular situation.
Even if he had a perfect body, he still wouldn’t be in a position to shame Kesha about hers. We all feel the way we do about Fit Mom, right? Same concept here-even if he was super active and fit, it’s not his place to viciously attach a grown woman* if she gained a few pounds.
We can admit that there is a brand and a marketing image to maintain. We can admit that manufactured “pop” stars such as Kesha need to look a certain way to fit their niche. You can say to someone, “Ok, we need to get fit for this video shoot,” without calling them a refrigerator or being a douchebag. I’m not saying ANY of it is right, but the fact is, there is a spectrum of how this situation could have been approached, and it sounds like Dr. Luke came down on the far asshole end of things.
ETA: * Grown woman is used here as opposed to a 13 year old child who is not done growing, and should not be attacked by anyone. Neither one should be a target, but Kesha, while she may look up to Dr. Luke, is technically an adult, and apparently a pretty bright one.
I get Leah’s point. It was basically saying ‘Are *you* personally adhering to society’s *stereotypical, closed-minded* image of the ‘ideal man’? If you’re not, how do you justify subjecting a *woman* to said standards (as though you have any right to criticize or judge), when you don’t even hold yourself (or likely other men), to it?
I think Leah was just naming the shallow, stereotypical traits that society/Hollywood views as ‘ideal’ for a man.
@Leah: I was not defending Dr. Luke (who, if this story is true, is a douche bag). I was simply stating that men don’t need bulging muscles to be attractive–I for one like my men to look more like Benedict Cumberbatch than say, the Rock. All I was saying was that not all women like bulging muscles on a man, some women like slimmer men. And not all men want to have bulging muscles, it’s their personal preference. There is not one type of beauty. Bulging muscles is not the perfect body image for a man to everyone. Just as stick skinny is not the perfect body image for a woman to everyone. Different strokes for different folks. That is all.
You completely missed my meaning and overreacted. And by the way, my original comment was directed at Carol, who made the “bulging muscles” comment, not you or your comment.
Jessica, I don’t feel i over reacted, I feel like you confused what we were saying. We were discussing said comments in this context. You are discussing something wider. Which i by the way very much agree with. This isn’t about how all men should have bulging muscles just like all women should not be expected to be a size zero. See Hakuras comment she explains it better than me.
@Leah: I did not confuse what you were saying, in fact I was never talking to you in the first place. I responded specifically to *Carol’s* comment that basically said unless a man has bulging muscles he is not attractive and has no place to comment on anyone else’s attractiveness. I simply said that one need not have bulging muscles to be attractive. Intending it to be a “what you think is attractive is not always attractive to everyone else” type of comment–because I am not attracted to bulging muscles and know many men who don’t have them. She made a comment that I did not agree with, so I made a comment about it. I was NOT relating it to Luke AT ALL, but defending men, and women who like men, that don’t fit *Carol’s* idea of an attractive man (which is apparently bulging muscles and piercing eyes). Then you harped on me by claiming I was defending Luke when I never mentioned him at all. That to me is overreacting.
Now if we want to talk about your comment, I’m not sure I see a huge difference in him body shaming Kesha and you body shaming him (other than he’s her superior and has influence and you are a commentator on a blog he will likely never read–no offense intended toward you, it’s just that his comments hurt the person they are directed to more). Again, who are you to decide what is attractive. Maybe there are women out there who are attracted to that type of look. Just because you think he’s unattractive doesn’t mean everyone else does. Just because I think someone is attractive or unattractive doesn’t mean everyone else does (case in point, Carol, who likes bulging muscles where I don’t).
Let me make myself clear, I am NOT talking about his personality or how he treats people. I am simply talking about his outward appearance, because that’s all *you* talked about. If you said he’s a douche bag and a pig who treats women like dirt and mentally and emotionally abuses young women, then I would get behind that criticism 100%, but you attacked his outward appearance, the same way he attacked Kesha’s.
And by the way, music tastes vary, too. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s horrible. I know a lot of people who hate country music, but that’s pretty much all I listen to, and I love it. Everyone’s tastes are different.
God, I hate defending people I don’t like, but you just made me. Thanks a lot.
I never body shamed him Jessica so i don’t really understand why you felt the need to defend him to be honest. I simply saw the irony of his behaviour and i felt like commenting , i never told you who you should find attractive. I don’t think anyone else did either so i must say i am very confused why you would say that. I think you are reading a lot into my comments that simply wasn’t there and the funny thing is i like you i appreciate Cumby for instance and i am not particularly a fan of bulging muscles. I just don’t appreciate the double standard which by the way i did talk about. My point was never just that he is older and not the hottest guy in the universe, i simply used it as an example because it seems like Dr Luke himself (not me) has a very particular standard for what women should look like and the irony is of course that he has different rules for himself. I hope you understand. Have a great day 🙂
Hi Leah,
I’m not twisting what was being said. I understood what Carol meant but I also understood what Jessica was stated in a way that differed from how you interpreted it. People understand/misunderstand things that we post here all the time because we don’t have the luxury of facial expressions, tone of voice, etc, and I was attempting to explain how I understood things and how I felt that someone else’s perspective in an attempt to create some understanding. Please don’t accuse me of doing something that I was not. Thanks.
Everyone seemed to jump all over Leah and Carol’s comment about how Dr. Luke does not have bulging muscles but I feel like it really distracted from the point. The point being Dr. Luke doesn’t adhere to the magazine standard of beauty yet he holds Kesha to it. “Bulging muscles” is totally irrelevant and it sounds wrong that someone would chime in with “But I like men without bulging muscles! Men don’t have to adhere to rigid beauty standards either!” Big muscles were an example, no one was implying that all women like men with big muscles, or that only men with big muscles are attractive. The entire point is that none of us have to adhere to those beauty standards, but there are men out there who not only don’t adhere but then pressure women to adhere to the point of an eating disorder, which is hypocritical and makes you a shitty person. We see this played out all day everyday, men criticizing women for the way look because it doesn’t match up to what they see in the media, but the men don’t receive the same level of judgment/pressure about their looks in return. Gender is important here, because men generally have more power and social status than women. That’s why it’s more loathsome for men to perpetuate the unattainable beauty standard, because it doesn’t really apply to them. How do we know it doesn’t? Because even a simple comment calling out this incredible hypocrisy, leads to a long ass thread about how we shouldn’t put men in a box! Think of the poor mens! We don’t want to give them a complex about having big muscles!
Not every guy feels constant pressure to bulk up or be on a diet in order to look a certain way. I’d say pretty much every girl feels pressure to be thin, or stay thin forever.
Anyway, sorry this comment is not as organized as I’d like it to be, but I hope I got my point across. I valued Leah’s original point, and I felt Jessica derailed the thread to make a lesser unrelated point.
He may have given her a complex that led to an eating disorder? I dunno how I feel about this other than Dr. Luke sounds like a tool to the nth degree. I watched a bit of her last video (it was horrible) but she looked fit not overly thin, so this kind of shocked me a bit.
You don’t have to be “overly thin” to have an eating disorder.
I know that, I was just stating why I was a bit shocked.
Seriously? I would never, in a million years, call Kesha fat. I thought for a while there that she was untoned—but never fat. What is with these people?
She’s not fat, she just don’t have defined waist and all of the extra pounds go to upper body. She always had good legs.
I believe this theory. For anyone who’s seen Kesha’s show or followed her career (even looked at her mum’s or her fans twitter) you can see that while Dr Luke has done a lot for her career, he’s also been quite horrible to her and has messed up a lot of things for her. Dr Luke seems like an awful person.
I think it’s dumb to pin something like an eating disorder on one person calling you fat. There are others things at work there, like mental/emotional security. If one is already mentally/emotionally vulnerable, then insults like that will expedite the process, but that mental/emotional state already existed. If this is true–and I have my doubts because I think it may be a plant by Kesha’s team to make her look good/help the story, because I don’t think “eating disorder” is all that’s going on with her–then this guy is a douche bag, but that doesn’t mean her problem is all his fault.
I’ve been called fat my entire life, but I don’t have an eating disorder. My problem is that I don’t eat healthily enough and don’t work out enough.
I agree, I was called stupid and worthless for the first 16 years of my life, with emphasis and I have more cause than most to point at an abuser and say “He caused it.” But I don’t, my problems are just that, my problems, if encountering rude douche-bags were all it took, we would all have eating disorders. Also, who blames another person for their eating ED? I thought it was all about anxiety and control issues, Dr Douche could be a contributor but hardly the cause.
I’d place money on the notion that most women live varying degrees of eating disorders…look at the diet industry.
+1
I find it hard to believe that more than a very small precentage (if even that) of women have a healthy relationship with food.
Disordered eating is so, so, so common. I just watched poor Jessica Simpson on GMA, and it’s just terribly sad to listen to her talk about trying to control her weight. I’m thrilled she has found WW, if she is truly using it and is happy, but to have your body publicly examined every day? Ugh.
I’m 32 years old, and have been trying to figure out how to eat healthily my whole freaking life. My mom was a yoyo dieter who turned to food as comfort or reward, and my dad was obsessed with women being appropriately thin. They have both managed to come a long way since my childhood, but those early issues don’t just go away. My whole self worth is tied up in thin vs. fat-even my screen name, which I’ve had for 100 years, is about my looks. Even though I’m extremely successful, a fantastic mom, a great wife, and a good cook, I always felt like I had to justify my weight, and always say I was on a diet, even if I wasn’t…to this day, I catch myself doing it. It’s ridiculous. I will skip meals, and enjoy the hunger feeling because it’s my willpower over my stomach. I started seeing a nutrionist about a year ago, and I have started running, and those two things are helping me more than anything else. I managed to survive the holidays without a big fluctuation, so I’m not currently punishing myself for my “bad” behavior, but I obsessively weighed myself for a few days to ensure I hadn’t “ruined” my diet. I’m starting to get back into a healthy weight range so I feel more comfortable standing up and speaking in presentations, but every time I see my boss/employees, there’s a comment or two about how much weight I have lost. It just reinforces the feeling that everyone thought I was fat. Of course, they have only known me as a “fat” person-I’m sure my friends from high school/college/early 20s are like, “holy hell, what happened?” Both ideas are equally awful to me, and our culture is fucking young women up by creating this mindset. I was willing to pop pills, do shots, take ANYTHING, to not have to hate my body. At one point, if I could have figured out how to buy coke, I would have been sniffing it to not eat. How fucked up is that?
Wow…this turned into a really cathartic rant. I’m going to go eat some salmon for breakfast now.*
*great example of the mindset I’m still fighting. I don’t have to justify eating smoked salmon, with or without cream cheese and capers. I don’t have to state that I’m going to run later, to eat a food that I absolutely love. It’s a product of early environment + cultural obsessions + reinforcement of “thin=good” by everyone and everything around us. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how NOT to teach your child to eat. My parents were wonderful about everything, EVERYTHING, else, but my weight-always fair game for an attack.
Wow, PrettyTarheelFan. Thank you so much sharing a glimpse of what it’s like for patriarchal body values to inculcate one’s mind.
Even though you can intellectually know that constant rigorous attention to what you eat, don’t eat, or how much you eat isn’t healthy, it’s almost impossible not to do it once you’ve started.
It must suit the Corporate Masters to keep women at war with themselves, bogged down in a swamp of self monitoring, rather than risking their focus turning outward to ‘weightier’ matters and perhaps becoming restless with the status quo.
@Sloane:
I wonder how much further I would be in life if I didn’t constantly feel the need to apologize for existing, for the crime of eating while fat, for the crime of not having a “gap” in my thighs, etc etc. It’s like waving a big, white, insecurity flag over my head all the time. My parents instilled a fantastic work ethic, drive to succeed, and a belief that I was smart enough to do anything I wanted to do. I feel like they only really messed up two areas, and they are both tied to the patriarchal values that small towns hold up as ideal: no sex before marriage, and thin is the only acceptable way to look. It’s absolutely a way to keep women insecure about themselves, and judging other women. As long as we are using the virgin/slut and thin/fat criteria to judge whether women are behaving appropriately, we are refocusing energies that could be used to eradicate the wage gap or to prevent the erosion of womens’ right to legal medical procedures.
I started reading Jezebel about 2 years ago, and while I have problems with some of their writers/stories, it has really reinforced for me that I have a right to be in the room, to be opionated, to expect to be treated the same as everyone else, even if I am “fat” or female. At the same time, I happened to move onto a street with a lot of totally awesome women who all have different body types and expectations and levels of fitness, and not one single one of them apologizes for any damn thing, and I am just so lucky and blessed to be out of the very small town where I grew up. During the last two years, while I have lost 65 lbs, aside from the occasional, you look great, no one on the street has made a big deal about my weight: fat or less-fat. It’s a work in progress, but one of these days, I will be able to just shut up the voices in my head.
Pretty, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever you will shut up those voices forever!
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=youtube+video+of+woman+talking+about+her+mom+eating+disorder+mom
I think more black women are comfortable with their bodies, especially in the south. Either way I feel so lucky because my mom loves me and my sisters regardless of size.
You know, it actually comes from a place of love. Very misguided love, but they wanted me to be happy and have it all, and having it all included being thin in their eyes. It’s just a jacked up perception.
I don’t know why this site keeps alluding that Kesha is lying about an eating disorder and is going to drug rehab. It’s not as if she’s a Disney or Nick kid. Every other celebrity goes to rehab so it doesn’t make sense to claim Kesha is trying to save face. Especially since she’s known for drinking. I don’t believe Dr. Luke gave her an eating disorder but definitely influenced it. If somebody is constantly attacking you a complex is bound to develop.
I agree. Her 1st song on her 1st album starts with: Maybe I need some rehab / Or maybe just need some sleep. Her whole image is ‘oh, I’m so drunk.’ I don’t think ED is cover up to save her image.
Agreed.
I can see why he could “fat shame” her: she is not the Hollywood superskin supertoned girl. I bet she used to trust him, and if she had some issues with her image I can see why she’s got an eating disorder.
I dunno…I attribute the point of no return for my daughter being a friend’s mom telling her that she shouldn’t wear a bikini because her stomachs too fat. That’s why I could never bring myself to ever speak to that woman again (ironically, her profession is mental health counseling specializing in children).
Oh no, that’s horrible. I’ve seen how hard it is to shake those pervasive, negative thoughts but with the right intervention she can overcome them. Wishing you both strength,
What a *disgusting* woman, it’s repulsive that her *profession* involves mental/emotional influence over unsuspecting children (& parents). I dont know how recent the insult was, or if it’d make much difference, but even so, I’d lodge a complaint to her job about the abusive attitude & incredibly hurtful, careless & cruel way she treated your daughter (with no regard for her feelings or health).
Patients of her’s or not, she should be exposed. Even if it does nothing, it would always be on her record (& if anyone else complains at some point, it could lend credence to their claims).
Thanks–I should’ve mentioned she’s recovered now. We caught it early enough (she was only 9 at the time!) and luckily she responded to therapy.
That’s great. But wow, a mom telling a NINE year old she’s too fat?! She needs her license revoked. Grr.
I agree. Report that repellently evil woman.
I tread very lightly on this subject, mainly because I think there are so many different patterns of disordered eating and a variety of reasons which cause them. I try not to speak in absolutes or assume that my experience is the same as everyone else’s.
For me, my ED was caused by a combo of things–negative comments being made about my weight when I was younger, which essentially cracked what would have been a pretty strong foundation and being a worrisome person in general, which is largely due to genetics-my mom is the most worrisome, anxious person I’ve ever met.
As an adult I am still anxious and easily overwhelmed, so for me the pattern has always been when something in my personal life is stressful or overwhelming, I find comfort and relief in controlling my diet. The severe deprivation of food becomes a goal and an accomplishment on some levels. Sadly, for many years I felt empowered by being skinny and looking sickly. I’m not sure if I believe that you can “rehab” an eating disorder–I think it’s more about management, much like any other addiction. Personally, it is a constant battle for me.
You are so strong to share your story. Thank you, Kitten.
How do you know my life?!?
No seriously, thank you for saying this. It makes me feel less alone.
As for Kesha, Dr. Luke probably triggered some insecurity that was already there. I hope this whole thing reminds people to never put anyone down because they don’t look like Victoria’s Secret models.
TheOriginalKitten, thank you for sharing your particular journey so eloquently. Your self-awareness is impressive and it seems to me you are dealing with your challenges in as healthy of a manner as possible.
It’s hitting home with me because my 14 year old son is going through something very similar. He’s on the autism spectrum and has struggled on and off with anxiety over the years. This fall, he suddenly became obsessed with fitness/exercise and calories. It has really taken over his life, at the expense of just about every pleasure he’s ever had in life.
My theory is exactly the same as yours — he has become overwhelmed by the stresses and demands of life in general as a young teen, where so much is unpredictable, especially socially, and being hypervigilant about food and exercise is his one and only way to feel in control.
He’s been seeing a psychologist for cognitive behavioral therapy and also seeing a psychiatrist for a few months now but so far he can’t seem to shake this and relax yet at all. I’m keeping the faith that things will improve soon.
Re Kesha, I wonder if some of this applies to her. Being a celeb/in the music industry seems pretty damn stressful and I can imagine that gaining a sense of control somewhere would be something she (or any celeb, really) would seek out. Hence the ED developing (via genetic predisposition perhaps)…and then being exacerbated by negative feedback from this Dr guy.
Thanks for sharing your story, it sounds a lot like mine especially the anxiousness and using a diet as a way of control.
Her mom brought this out, WHY NOW, WHY didnt she say something when she heard, the pig shame her daughter??
Because her mother didn’t want to risk Ke$ha losing her career over the blacballing backlash from connected powerbrokers like Dr. Puke. Being a good mother, Pepe waited until her daughter was ready to take this irreversible step.
Ke$ha could very well lose her contract and career for speaking up like this. The male dominated music industry eats artists like her for breakfast.
I’m sorry but I don’t buy that. Her mother is spreading gossip and it’s not helpful for her daughter. Ke$ha could have objected to his alleged abuse and would have had plenty of support but she didn’t probably because she was willing to compromise in order to become successful with him. Her choices, not his. He sounds like a jerk but Hollywood is full of them and no one should go there thinking otherwise.
It’s awful to read the comments on valorous sites saying how ‘great’ Kesha looks lately, and then knowing it’s due to an eating disorder. Truly hope she gets well, regardless of it being an ED or drug abuse. I actually like her spunk and glitter parade.
Me too.
It is really sick. But that attitude is so pervasive. I once had a nasty stomach flu and was out of work for 4 days. When I came back, still weak and shaky, all my co-workers (female) could say was “you must have lost a ton of weight, awesome!.” Nice.
On TMZ, I had to stop reading all the comments like “Ke$ha’s fat. She deserved to be called a refrigerator!” Revolting.
Reading comments on internet sites other than CB, Jez, and TLO destroys my faith in humanity, Sloane Wyatt!
If you think “casual” comments can’t give you an eating disorder, I hate to have to tell you that you’re wrong. I’m 40 and just got done with radiation treatment. Losing half your breast does a number on your head as far as body image is concerned. Add that to everyone telling me how great I look now because I’ve lost weight. How am I losing weight? I puked for 4 weeks straight and lost 24 pounds. Now I’m going off anti-anxiety meds, and I have no appetite (along with constantly feeling wired and not getting any sleep). It’s been awful. But hey! I’ve lost 35 pounds! So freaking great.
I also see what happens to a lot of the women in my support group. It’s actually very common for women who are going through chemo to gain weight. So not only do they have to go through the shitiness that is chemo, they also have to deal with veiled comments about how “fat” they’re getting. 🙁
Ugh. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing this. I keep going to back to Tracey Gold from Growing Pains and thinking about how people commented (myself included) about how great she looked when she lost weight and finding out that it was due to an eating disorder. I felt terrible and still think about it. It has made me a bit more mindful about bodies and the relationship to medical conditions and how much we tie individuals’ worth to their physical appearance. I still have lots of room to grow but your comment will make me check myself and reflect a bit more.
So sorry Cleocat. *BIG HUG*
It wasn’t just Dr. Luke, but that was a cruel comment. At that time Kesha had a very wide body type in her mid torso region, waist, etc., and people on gossip sites and the internet would make fun of her body when bathing suit shots appeared on holiday or in certain outfits on stage. I remember reading many cruel comments online about her. As a pop star, I think it messed with her head and she begain losing weight and transformed herself as best she could resulting in an eating disorder. The internet is a cruel place as far as I’m concerned for many of these impressionable young women in the music business and young actresses with all the fat-shaming comments and then rag mags like The Enquirer who love to post women with their cellulite in unflattering bathing suit shots and throw it on the cover and women buy these magazines, encouraging the making fun of women’s bodies for not being perfect as they age even.
@Jayna: I love my weekly gossip mags (US & People anyway) but I HATE those bulls**t “Best and Worst Bodies” issues. They make me totally sick to my stomach.
Do we not ALL have the right to wear bathing suits and enjoy the beach? Sadly, I have only worn a bathing suit (it was a bikini actually), uncovered, exactly ONE time in my life during a very short lived, particularly confident phase on vacation in Virginia Beach years ago. It was so freeing(!) but I feel so much absurd embarrassment for not being physically “flawless”. I wish I could find the confidence again but, in the age of constant monitoring of people via cellphone cameras? No thank you 🙁
I want to thank everyone for sharing their stories today. It feels good to see that I’m not the only one that feels this way and I’m not the only one upset with society body shaming. To me this has always been a very personal subject that I only share with close friends because on the outside I want to pretend that body image doesn’t affect me, i’m totally above that, and that I am totally ok with me. God forbid i let anyone know that i hate looking this way. But the truth is I’m not, I want to wear all those cute little clothes and look good in them. I would kill to b a size 10 ( which is still quite large fashion standards) and it depresses me when my size 10 friends go on and on about I’m soo fat. Why can’t I be ok with not being thin and why can’t everyone else b ok with me not being ideal? Then I think… Don’t give in I must be strong.
Strong for those that are weaker than I about body image, like my friend D. If I believe I’m beautiful at this size maybe others will too, like her. She is naturally a thick girl, but you know society says she’s not acceptable that way- so she went to Mexico to get her stomach reduced with a band. She is always sick, can’t eat many things and is constipated for weeks, WEEKS! But she did lose enough weight to get to a size 2, until the fluid in the band started dissipating and gained it back so she got it refilled twice with serious health implications. Yet still she was determined to be skinny even if it killed her- KILLED her! She was beautiful the way she was And I tried to reinforce that to her- but until she sees it for herself she will continue this pattern. It is so sad to me that body image is so toxic that we tear ourselves down over it…..
So everyone I just want you to know f* all the bull$shit- we are gorgeous goddesses and if people can’t see it it’s their loss.
good lord! i hope ur friend is alright now , truly we are all beautiful in our own way ,personally i love women with curvy figures ,i i would give an arm or leg to have monica bellucci body
What a dick I can’t stand who do this! Also looking through the comment section and seeing all the strong women posting about their pasts I wish you all the best in the world you’re such strong women its so refreshing to hear people be honest about their own journeys your all so strong.
Is he a doctor in the same way that Dr. Phil is? What a tool. I like her, and while this couldn’t have been the only thing to lead to her eating disorder, it’s not helpful. I wish her well!
Sorry, I don’t buy that this is an eating disorder. She’s in there for substance abuse. Not saying she may not have an ED but as a person that DID have one for many years due to ballet and theater and just wanting control, I don’t buy what she’s selling at all. The stories of her drug use and wanting to be like all the other pop stars just makes her come up short. I’d be more interested to hear about her snorting or popping rather than playing the eating disorder route. Isn’t that what most other celebrities have called it when they really went in for substance rehab? However I do wish her well.
I don’t think he’s the only one. Look at all those nasty comments about her body that were made when that bathing suit photo arose a year or two back. That’d be enough to give me an eating disorder. Thing is, the girl wore an unflattering bathing suit. Who cares if she had a little extra meat, I always liked her for who she is and how she was.
Hope she gets the help she needs and comes back stronger than ever!
What eating disorder? She’s not that thin. I’m thinking it’s plain old rehab and she’s trying to blame someone other than herself. *shrug*
Just to clarify, not everyone with an eating disorder gets super thin.
Like it was stated above, you don’t have to be excessively thin to have an eating disorder.
While true that a ton of people with ED like anorexia and bulimia are excessively thin, many bulimia sufferers are actually seen as average, because they binge then purge, leaving enough in their stomachs to maintain whatever weight they are. Many bulimic sufferers take laxatives with the same effect.
I feel very sorry for Kesha and am glad that she saw through getting help, but if you are of the belief that clinically diagnosed eating disorders are psychiatric illnesses-and I am-then no one (particularly no one individual) can tease, bully or “shame” you into one. There are several surrounding key issues that ultimately lead to to an ED, mostly having to do with internal and some external turmoil.
So many in our current society have totally lost sight-or never been made aware of- the fact that a true CLINICAL “eating disorder” is about SO much more than just having issues with food or sometimes not eating enough when you want to be skinny. (See Kaiser’s comments about Gwyneth and her frequent cleanses.) One of my cousins suffered from an absolutely devastating case of Anorexia during her time at college (at her lowest she weighed a terrifying 75 lbs) and it required medication, astronomically expensive live in treatment and family therapy over the course of years for her to overcome. She still has many triggers and though she’s doing well, she’ll likely be dealing with this illness for the rest of her life. It is not something that goes away or can even be touched in a mere 30 days as any sufferer will gladly tell you. They’re often lifetime illnesses.
In any case, I don’t know Kesha or the details of her story, but I’m really glad she’s taking care of herself.
First off, it only takes one person you love and admire to bring you down. If your Dad or Mom told you, that you were ‘fat’, ‘stupid’, ‘ugly’, etc. the “safe haven” you have is destroyed. Ke$ha does not know who her father is and this Dr. Luke or whatever, came in and took the father figure role. So for him to call her a f* refrigerator etc. is just as detrimental as a LOVING Father saying it.
I do have credentials to back this up as I worked as a therapist/counselor for a private treatment facility for five years. This facility handled over 150 patients and 90% where eating disorder treatments. The shocking thing for most people to realize is that the patients are split 40%/60%, male/female.
That was my father…the most upsetting part is that to this day, neither he nor my mom remember all the comments he made to me, but I remember them clear as day.
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
Jesus, I’m so sorry that happened to you, Kitten.
A significant person said to me the other day “Damn, you have a good memory.” I was referring to something positive in this case, but I had to work hard to dredge that up when ALL my memories of this person are of their cruel, lying remarks.
Now, I’m so grateful to have distance and equipoise. I get to have feelings of happiness and self worth, regardless of that sad individual’s toxicity. From the way you write and the things you’ve shared, you seem like you’re there too.
One of my favorite things about Celebitchy is the wisdom and inspiration we garner from each other as we share our upward trajectory. Oh, and when we’ve had enough of THAT, we can go to another story and comment on frothy puff pieces!
Sorry still think it’s drugs :/
I hope not, xxx. Time will tell.
It could be treatment for multiple concurrent disorders
Since I have been reading a few other peoples struggles with eating disorders in the comments I thought why not share mine as well. So…
I think what triggered my desire not to eat was when I was younger my father used to give disapproving looks to any of us eating. All the girls in our family were naturally thin but we got even more so because I remember when my father started working from home he would have his office stuff set up in the kitchen. My sisters and I during summer break were afraid of going in the kitchen and basically we would just wait until my mom got home from work before eating. My mom usually didn’t get home until 5 in the evening.
My father used to padlock the fridge as well. My brothers were one time left alone with him for a week while my mom took my sisters and I to visit our grandma. Basically my brothers couldn’t get any food unless they went to eat a friends. My dad was the sort of man who used to buy groceries and then keep track of what we ate daily as he didn’t like his money going down the drain and was just selfish. He also used to buy food and tell my mom it was his food and not ours.
Other things that caused my warped up views with food was the incident were I threw out veggies into the garbage. My father made me eat them out of the garbage. When I got to junior high it was at the point where I never ate breakfast and once I got to school I did not eat my lunch either. I had another sister who was like that with her lunches as well. If my father found food in our room he would also beat her for it. He would also tell her how disgustingly skinny her body was and that she must not want any meat. he would also tell her she had a fat face. I feel so horrible about it now because as a child I would sometimes let her take the fall for food which was mine because I was so afraid of my father and his beatings.
Then she died and I guess that was the icing on the cake for a bad childhood. I have had a few break downs. I have always been underweight and I have never felt beautiful or good enough. I used to look at pictures of Marilyn Monroe and cry because I wanted to look like a real woman just like her. But then I also struggle because I think being skinny is sometimes the only thing I could have going for me in life. I do struggle with not despising myself and I wish I could look more womanly. But at the same time I feel no real motivation to eat. I have always looked a food and asked myself why I should bother. So I don’t eat or I eat very little most days. But I think for me it goes way beyond people judging my outward appearance. I think I truly believe that for myself food is a reward. So if I make mistakes or do something I do not like I withhold food from myself. I use it as a punishment for a lot of my past and sometimes the guilt I feel over my sister.
Right now I am receiving counselling for these issues and medication. I will be going into a day program as well. So right now I feel like there is hope and I think it is good on Kesha for realizing she has a problem and needs to deal with it. I was sort of forced into realization by a group of siblings that care about me. I think it takes a very strong person to admit on their own that they are suffering and need help.
My prayers/vibes/whatever you want are with you, Lauren. Your siblings love you and want you to be whole and content.
You are on the right track now, and happiness will be your testament. You have already made a difference in others’ lives by sharing your experience and your bravery.
Lauren, thank you for sharing, I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been for you. I wish you the best of luck.
I agree with you and at the same time I don’t. I have an eating disorder, and while its causes are really deeply rooted in my childhood, the first time I stopped eating was triggered by my first boyfriend telling me something that really hurt me. It wasn’t something horrible, and most people wouldn’t even have paid attention to it. So yeah, calling someone a refrigerator can lead to some serious issues.
Noinin, I know this will be an ongoing struggle, and I wish you every success and happiness. You deserve it.
Keisha in rehab is not what you think
An eating disorder had caused her to shrink
She held a press conference
And promised no nonsense
Then lit up a joint and pissed in the sink
🙂
She has had issues with her body image for ages so an eating problem seems realistic. She has an unusual body shape and people always make fun of it. That would mess anyone up. Good luck Kesha!
WE ALL ALLOW THIS ….I dont see my daughter going in showbuzz, and some asshole telling her something like this, and me still walking free…I just dont see that happening. With all the social media going on, WE NOW whats real, WE CAN LOOK UP THE REAL STORY, we as readers/ FANS dont have to want this for our favo artist, not that she is mine. In general.
I hope she gets the help she needs. I always liked her.
@ Sloane Wyatt; You’re such a loving and supportive person! Your loved ones are very lucky to have someone like you in their lives. I always love reading your comments, and just wanted to say thanks. *HUGS*.