These are photos of Shakira and her futbol-playing baby daddy, Gerard Pique, as they attended an event for Shakira’s self-titled album in Barcelona last week. Those boots! The She-Wolf has informed all of us that Gerard rules the roost. Shakira keeps meat on her bones because Gerard likes it that way. She won’t do videos with men because Gerard is “very territorial.” In response to this coverage, Gerard told Shakira to shut her “little mouth“ about him to the press.
I finally caught Shakira on The Voice this weekend (it was an E! rerun). She was utterly charming as a lone example of humanity amongst the three tiers of douche (Adam Levine, Usher, and Blake Shelton). This was the goal, of course. I wanted to hug her. She grasped her protegés and promised to serve them well. I am officially a fan.
Let’s see what Shakira reveals in this new interview with E! Online. She tries to clean up the mess left by her Gerard-centered comments:
Those guidelines go both ways: “I have rules, too It’s two sides, you know. He can’t do stuff with models either!”
Shakira’s description of her coupling: “We’re one of those asphyxiating couples, smothering each other all the time. It’s good when you’re man’s protective of you. He’s a defender. He defends the goal. That is his job, so he knows how to do that well.”
Is Gerard threatened by Adam “Sexiest Man” Levine? “Actually, Gerard came here his last vacation…and he met the entire crew and the boys, and they were all so nice to him. It was nice that he at least got to see a little bit of what I do when I’m away from him.”
Shakira’s future female collaboration: “After Rihanna?…She’s like the sexiest woman alive, hands down. I can be sexy, but you have to give me a countdown. You have to go, ‘Shakira, be sexy! Three, two, one!’ But with Rihanna, she’s like that all the time.”
[From E! Online]
That’s cool of Shakira to tip her hat to Rihanna, who IS always sexy. Rihanna can be sleazy or classy, but she’s always some permutation of sexy.
I do find it a little odd how Shakira describes her dynamic with Gerard. Both “asphyxiating and “smothering” can be interpreted in ways that are not terribly romantic. Those words can sound a little scary, right? Perhaps some words have been lost in translation. Shakira does seem to have a very good grasp on the English language.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN
Keep on Talking, we want enough info for the Post Mortem for when you Consciously Uncouple from this a*hole
lol – that is hilarious
Did she just compare herself to a goal? I can’t believe it. Oh, and he’s not allowed to work with models but screws around or what? Shakira, girl, wake up!
Oh my Lord, QQ! I need that (five minute) laugh! I don’t know how you do it, but keep on!!
I want to give a shout out to my celebitches today–for keeping a smile on my face. I’ve been a little stressed out–earlier this week my mom found out that the growth/mass in one of her breasts was cancerous. Now I’ve got to go get checked out, because I have a growth (about half the size of my thumbnail that’s in one of my boobs, in the valley, while my mom’s was near her armpit) that comes and goes–no clue what it is. So that’s freaking me out. Plus I don’t really want to show a doctor my boobs to begin with 🙁 So I’m dreading it, and am freaked out….I have no clue what it can be, because sometimes it hurts and sometimes it doesn’t–plus I’m worried about my mom, school…just ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep ’em coming QQ….
Oh no! Sending you lots of good thoughts for you and your mom, and QQ giggles too cuz she is the best! You’re a tough cookie from what I’ve read from your posts; you just saunter right into that doctor’s office and counciously uncouple those tatas from their harness like you own the joint!! Xo
Oh Noes Virgilia Happy Positive vibes and wishes and Light is being sent your way from Florida for you and your mommy!
Dear VC, am sending positive thoughts and lots of hugs your way for both you and your mother. Please keep us posted.
@VC…stay strong, girl…sending positive vibes to you and your Mom…keep your Celebitchy family posted…we care…
@Virgilia, wishing the best for you and your mom. Don’t even worry for a moment about showing a doctor your breasts. They’re professionals and no one is going to make you feel uncomfortable. Try to relax, as hard as it may be.
Sorry to hear that, Virgilia! Big, big hugs, and thoughts and prayers that you and your mom will come out of it as winners, and twice as strong and healthy!
Many thanks to QQ for a great start to the morning. And to VC, I send all my positive thoughts and hopes for both you and your Mom. Please let us know how you are.
oh no ,Virgillia, stay strong and be positive ,dont worry abt it ,concentrate more on ur school work, iam sure ur mom and you are just gonna be fine ,lots of love and prayers to u and ur mom
I hope everything goes well for your mom and you.
All the best to your Mom and you Virgilia – you will have lots of prayers directed your way. Please let this group know what is happening with her treatment – and don’t be afraid to ask questions – people who have been through/have relatives and friends can give you some good tips. For yourself to allay your fears watch a funny movie or comedien before you go and you could pretend to Hawkeye pierce or Nurse Jackie so you won’t be intimidated.
My thoughts are with you and your mom! Please know that while it is incredibly tragic that so many women get breast cancer, there are also MILLIONS of women who have survived breast cancer and kicked its butt! Do not lose hope!
Also, for your mass…I gather from your posts that you are pretty young? In young women, we can get masses that can be caused by fluctuations in hormones. The breast tissue is denser because of young hormones, so they tend to find more masses in young women that turn out to be harmless. If you have family history, though, it is always good to get it checked out so that they can confirm that it is harmless. I have a family history and have had a biopsy. I was sooooooo scared, but it wasn’t painful and the cut was so tiny, a year later you can’t see where they went in. The doctor made a remark about my breast tissue being dense like grissle, and that continues to sting a bit though, tee hee 😉 Good for you about being proactive about your health!
Aw, fudge, VC, wishing you lots of positivity and healthy vibes for you and your mom.
To all–
🙂
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Oh girl, sending you healing energies and best wishes! And your mom too – stay strong and positive for both of you – LOVE!
VC
Adding my prayers to those here. I’ve been through the same thing with my famly so I know how you feel. But you are strong, fiercely intelligent, funny, articulate and a keen observer of the human condition – you are better equipped to deal with this than you realize.
Pray, educate yourself, be there for your mom, find positive reinforcers and if time permits, blog about your experience for clarity and perspective.
*hugs*
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom, VC. And don’t worry about seeing the doctor. It is so much scarier in your head than it actually is. But being nervous is actually a good thing because it brings adrenaline into the mix, which means it will seem like the exam lasted two seconds. I remember being terrified about my first trip to the gyno, my only thought afterwards was “that was it?”
@QQ – Hahahaha! This! You always get it right.
Edit: I read QQ’s comment before seeing VC’s. So my comment is in response to her hilarious one about Shakira and for VC I am so sorry you and your mom are going thru this. Just be confident and get it done. Stay strong and let us know how it goes. We are all thinking about you and a sending good thoughts your way.
Yes you nailed it and on the first post too – I get the impression she is asking for help – are they scientologists by any chance?
Seriously! lolol…omg…you made me nose laugh coffee onto my keyboard.
They’re beginning to sound like media whores. Every press release more shocking (and shockingly stupid) than the next. Oh and I HATE her voice. Too fluttery. Jeez.
I watch the Voice and I find her so endearing! She’s adorable! She also has the best hair ever!! Actually all three of them are so funny with each other which is such a contrast to American Idol! I haven’t watched American Idol in years because all the judges are such douches!
I agree! She is so sweet and utterly lovable – definitely the antithesis of Christina Aguilera. I love the judges’ banter and overall chemistry.
I loved her before The Voice, but watching her on it has added to my love. She’s so charming! I don’t see the douche factor with the other three, though. Like Sadie said, their banter and chemistry is great, and they all seem to care about their teams, even celebrating when a singer that lost a battle gets “stolen”.
YESSSS, she’s authentic and so nice, nothing like Aguilera or JLo, for that matter…..I ended up loving her because she’s not caught up in herself and she’s sweet. I just saw her on a talk show and she did a great job of just being herself. I wish more people could do as good a job on talk shows !! Afterward, she did a number on stage, but I just didn’t care for the song, and I’m tiring of the black outfit with the boots kind of look. But otherwise, she’s got my vote!
Me too. Unlike JLo, Christina and Mariah, Shakki is not threatened by other good-looking, young females with talent. She embraces them – literally and figuratively. She is so sincere. I love her. BTW – She did not mean asphyxiating as in she lets him choke her out. She just meant they live and breathe eachother and hang all over eachother and they do. Good for her.
Asphyxiating and smothering…
How..interesting…it’s what I might using to describe Rihanna and Chris Brown.
Maybe she meant a consuming and passionate relationship but in a good way?
Otherwise, he sounds like a very controlling partner.
Maybe it’s a language thing, and she seems to mean well, but her remarks about their relationship make both of them sound like knobs.
P.S. Knob is my new favorite name for someone. I stole it from Lindy79 yesterday.
I love her but a footballer?! Sorry, my bad. A soccer player?! As a life-long soccer fan/follower, there is not a man on that field that doesn’t cheat.
This. They all do and there are many rumors that he already did.
Liv– there was also a rumour that he was bi. Wasn’t there several pics of him and some guy being somewhat intimate?
Indeed. He cheated on his long-term gf with her, whilst she was still with her fiancé, so I wouldn’t be even the tiniest bit surprised.
Incidentally, when they finally revealed their relationship to the world they went on a fameho-ing binge for the paps that lead them to be voted “Spain’s Most Nauseating Couple”. I have a Spanish friend for whom these people make him as stabby as the Kardashians do the rest of us!
Yep, Zlatan Ibrahimović and him looked very lovey dovey in a photo a while back.
I read some article by a hm, let’s call her a proffesional hook up for footballers, and she said that it depends on nationality – apparently German footballers cheat the least. and English ones cheat quite a lot. I can’t remeber what she said about Spaniards.
ORLY: These? http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/barcelona/26222/whats-the-deal-with-zlatan-ibrahimovic-and-gerard-pique.html (SFW)
@ORLY, I totally forgot about that! I believe there were also rumors about Bar Refaeli. Not to mention groupies and hookers. Football/soccer is truly a nasty and venomed business.
@Tapioca, I can’t believe that Shakira changed so much. She was such a sweet girl when she started out and now she comes across as shallow and superficial. I loved her music back then.
@Liv: its not the football business, its professional sports or even amateur sports. it goes for NBA and NFL, too for example. or the guys at uni doing sports.
the guys mainly focus on their bodies and are rarely smart. women throw themselves at them. they get huge amounts of money at a young age and live in a constant frat community with their fellow players. thats the perfect environment to breed cheating douches.
I’ve refrained from saying anything in Shakira posts because everything I’ve heard about Pique is that he is deeply closetted. Infact if IRC he ended up with her almost immediately after he was semi-outed. The timing was very suspect so I just assumed they have some kind of arrangement like maybe shes cool as long as he only messes with men.
LOL!! OhDear beat me to it!! It’s already known what’s up with Pique that’s why she puts so much “sauce” on what a manly man she has.
I’m probably alone here, but I actually like her description of their relationship. I do feel that ‘asphyxiating’ and ‘smothering’ got lost in translation, she probably meant they’re just one of those lovey-dovey, OTT couples or something.
ITA that a man who is protective of his woman is great. It’s refreshing. I’ve been in relationships before where the man idly stands by when his lady is faced with some sort of nastiness/danger – e.g. when someone else groped me in front of him and he did nothing. Very, very big turn-off.
I agree. I’ve had boyfriends where their FRIENDS were trying to do the groping or ask me over to their place behind my bf’s back, but when I would tell my bf at the time, he would shrug it off. Yeaaaah, that made me feel really valued and respected…
People also don’t understand how it’s all very cultural as well, Shakira’s touting all these things as things she really loves about Gerard, she is not some wide-eye naif. Traditional Latin women love the take-charge, slightly possessive, protector man type. Traditional Latin men don’t really favor the idea of their women hanging out with male friends on their own (and vice versa). Although to be honest, that’s my perspective on Caribbean men… I’m also half Peruvian, and the dynamic there is different. I was born in a Caribbean country but grew up in the states, so when I briefly moved back to my birth country I experienced a major culture shock especially regarding men. In short: even my male *friends* were possessive of me, guys that had a crush on me (some of whom were mere acquaintances… like a neighbor I rarely saw, only waved to, and never exchanged words with) would get mad at me if I talked to another guy, etc. I hate that kind of thing and feel suffocated by it, I don’t like jealousy or possessiveness. As a rule, I don’t date Caribbean men (or traditional Latin types). Not all guys are like that though, and I don’t think Gerard is on any extreme end. I do think the hand wringing and faux worrying about it is a little over the top though.
I would hate a guy like that. I understand that as a couple, you need to set boundaries that you both agree with, regarding your interactions with the opposite sex (or whichever sex you’re attracted to).
And ugh–I have a mexican aunt, and her daughter is with a dude who is exactly as you described. He’s Mexican as well, and lazy as hell. Now, my cousin is PREGNANT, neither of them are working–he came to a birthday party while she was pregnant. He walked about five steps into the house, and sat down on the couch closest to the door. SHE went and made him a plate of food, and generally waited on him hand and foot for the entire party. He doesn’t have a job, isn’t doing anything to support them, or to warrant being waited on hand and foot–but she’s the one who has to cater to him.
I’m a latina and from Colombia, and I can assure you it is not a latina thing. It is a chauvinist thing. I don’t know if it is things getting lost in translation, but the way she describes her relationship sounds worse and worse every time she talks about it.
I get creeped out by the description – which is why the discussions can be so interesting on this site. Because of your experiences with a lousy partner who showed he didn’t care you see this as protective and rightly so. It is healthy to be with someone who will have your back – and you will have their back as well. Good partners cover eachothers weaknesses and build on eachothers strengths. And if a person keeps you on your ‘toes’ and you are not a ballerina – red flag. It comes across to me that she is afraid of him.
I think she definitely used her words with clear intent, maybe referring to the fact that this kind of smothering relationship can come off creepy to others, but that she likes it. I always liked her use of the English language in her lyrics, probably because I am also ESL. Those of us who learn English via books and films sometimes have a slightly weird grasp of the language, which can seem to be a bit more stilted and old-fashioned. She definitely has always displayed that quality in her songs and it made them a bit more poetic than the run-of-the-mill Katy Perry song.
TLDR I am rooting for her and her creepy relationship as long as she is happy with it.
From the lede, I wasn’t sure if this was some type of kink she was admitting to.
Also, I think baby North is cute, but not enough that I’m clicking on the link.
Oh nice one on not clicking but still managing to get a comment in (totally going to steal that tactic).
And I had a giggle too about the asphyxiation…
Yep, we’ll meet in the article ahead. 🙂
I think she needs to be given a little bit of a break. She’s not a native English speaker and the Spanish language can be a bit more passionate in description and literal direct translation of Spanish words sound weird in English.
This is so, so true (especially how the language can be more passionate in description). If you were to hear me in person, you would never be able to tell that once upon a time I could only speak Spanish. I have no accent, and frankly my English is better than my Spanish… but the same can’t be said for my mom. As a result, she is constantly in situations where what she says is a bit misinterpreted or comes off sounding highly exaggerated because of the flourish she gives her words. It’s also kind of like if you were to walk into a room full of Latin people, you would think they were furiously arguing with each other when they’re just talking normally and having a good time. Cultural/language context!
As an aside, I need her hair to be a little less Glanville and a little more J.Lo. Such a pretty woman but a warm caramel would look so much better than that brassy sh-t.
You’re right.
I think the interview says a lot about their relationship and none of it, to me, sounds that great. The fact that she can’t do videos with men and he can’t do any work with models tells me there isn’t an ounce of trust in the relationship. And the asphyxiation and smothering comments speak to that even more, I think. Sure, I think women like a man to be into them and (some of us) even like it when we feel they are our defenders (please do not misinterpret that statement as women are weak, because that’s not what I mean at all), but when it’s clear there isn’t any trust then the smothering is more like a dog peeing to mark its territory. Now, she has said he is territorial so it’s not something she isn’t aware of. I’m just thinking it isn’t a healthy way to be in a relationship. If they were all smothery and there was trust in the relationship I would be sitting here going, “Awwww. That’s so awesome that they’re that into each other.” Instead, I’m going, “Girl, get the OP now”
It may be a trust issue…or it may be a media issue…God knows that the minute a celebrity is seen talking to someone else, they make up all kinds of stories…that would make me leary, too…You know how Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp kept a distance from each other during the promoting of the Tourist because the rumors would have been flying…
I figured Angie stayed away from him because he looks like he needs to be scrubbed with a wire brush and bleach, but you’re probably right. I’m sure people were eyeing them closely considering in the gossipy world she had a history of walking off with people’s husbands.
How do you know they kept a distance because of that? I think it is more likely they just didn’t like each other that much.
Shakira and Pique are both persons of public interest, they’d know what to think of those stories.
I don’t think her language necessarily implies a lack of trust or an unhealthy relationship. Every couple has different dynamics. I’ve had less intense relationships that were very chill, and then my hubby and I had a more intense dynamic that’s more consuming.
There’s a spectrum involved with such behaviors; and sure you need to keep an eye on that sort of dynamic so it doesn’t swerve into crazytown, but I think she’s just expressing their intensity. And the way she used asphyxiating(sp?) seems to imply her English may be a little off in terms of properly communicating her meaning.
I’m gonna find me a guy ten years younger who WANTS a relationship…it’s time
I like Shakira but asphyxiating/smothering–is not a good way to describe a relationship.
It’s weird because wen she was with her ex (for a thousand years) I don’t ever remember her talking about him/their relationship as much.
Something is NOT right.I said it before…..
anyone else getting total christian grey vibes about this dude?
meh, I think she’s just saying her and her man are joined at the hip. Her English seems a little off obviously cause saying you’re an asphyxiating couple makes them sound like they are kinky, when she just means they never have space between eachother.
A good read for this situation is Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft He also has another good title Should I stay or should I go. Excellent material and clear writing and can be helpful to explain types of behaviour patterns.
Her husband is hot! I actually enjoy Shakira on The Voice. She’s more fun and relatable than Aguilera.
Why is she talking about her husband all the time all of a sudden?
Shakira with these comments, Beyonce and her “Jay Z taught me how to be a woman” comments and naming her tour the Mrs Carter World Tour and Lady Gaga saying Taylor Kinney is totally in charge and how she is submissive to him. Celebrity Femenism, I guess.
I thought this post was about Shakira? Since when did this site become about always talking about yourself and constantly trolling for sympathy? I can get one or two comments, but some people make 10 comments on just about every post with endless links. Don’t you have a job? Why can’t we keep it about praising or snarking on our favorite or not so favorite celebs?
You need a hug.
Well. Your Mom tried to hug me, but she smelled so I pushed her on the ground. Lol. I can’t be the only one who feels that way. Some people just love to talk about themselves.