Katie Holmes is a masochist. That is the only reason I can think of for marrying an egotistical, short cult spokesperson who steals his wife’s high heels in his spare time.

Tom has now asked Katie to take “Mommy Lessons” at the Scientology center. Well, someone has to teach Katie how to work Suri’s brainwashing — I mean auditing — machine when daddy is away.

Katie Holmes has hardly left Tom Cruise’s side since they began dating in April 2005.

However, that support has caused her grief. According to one Hollywood insider, the actress, who gave birth to daughter Suri last year, has been told by her husband to attend “mommy classes” taught by Scientologists.

(“There are parenting classes,” a Scientology source confirms.)

“Katie was quite offended by that,” the source tells Us. “Can you imagine when you’re 28 and have your first child to be told you need to go to this church to become a better mom?”

If my man told me to take a mothering class run by a so called “religion” that originated from a science fiction writer trying to win a bar bet, I would boot him out with such force that my shoe print would still be imprinted on his ass days later. How dare Tom tell Katie –over a year after their daughter is born– that she needs to take a mothering class? She’s not Britney, dropping her kids on their heads, going all schizo and flashing her bits all over town. You actually see Katie hanging out and taking care of her daughter, and by all photographic evidence she looks fine (although you never know– she’s the offspring of Xenu man, she may have antenne we don’t know about). The woman never goes anywhere without Tom or a permission slip signed by Scientology HQ, what bad things does he think will happen to Suri at Barney’s whilst in Katie’s care?

I have never heard anything so ridiculous since the day I heard someone call Paris Hilton a singer. You know what — Tom Cruise needs to take some husband classes. The dumb ass needs to learn some tact and how to buy his woman a decent present.