It could have been the sexiest Oscar hand-off ever, but it didn’t happen. Unlike in previous years, where last year’s Best Supporting Actor hands off the Oscar to this year’s Best Supporting Actress, Javier Bardem wasn’t there to hand girlfriend Penelope Cruz her Oscar for Vicky Cristina Barcelona. My television could have been steaming, but instead, I was happily surprised to see five previous Best Supporting Actresses hand off the award – Eva Marie Saint, Whoopi Goldberg, Goldie Hawn, Anjelica Huston and last year’s winner, Tilda Swinton (wearing make-up!).

Penelope’s speech was lovely and bilingual. Her accent gets thicker when she’s caught off-guard, I think. I didn’t understand some of it. She thanked Woody Allen, her director, and made an interesting comment that “he writes brilliant female characters.” I had never thought about it that way, but I guess he does. She thanked Harvey Weinstein and her family, and she also thanked Pedro Almodovar, the brilliant Spanish director who has made Penelope his muse in so many films. She had a speech prepared, but it still seemed spontaneous. At the end, she even gave a Spanish thank you to (I think, if my high school Spanish serves) all of her fellow Spanish actors.

Penelope was considered one of the favorites for this award – she played a crazy, bisexual, temperamental ex-wife (to smoldering Javier) in Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona in a hilarious, scenery-chewing way. Even though Kate Winslet took most of the major awards for Best Supporting Actress for The Reader, Penelope Cruz had a late surge in support, as evidenced by her win at the Independent Spirit Awards, where she gave a charming speech. I thought she would win the Oscar because: 1. The Academy loves Woody and 2. Penelope’s seen as one of those actors who is “due”.

You know what else Penelope’s win means? The power of Xenu means something in Hollywood! That’s right – Tom Cruise unleashed the power of Xenu in full support of his ex-girlfriend several weeks ago. So, in a way, Penelope’s victory is Tom’s victory, right?

Congratulations to Penelope!