These are photos of Alyssa Milano at the premiere of Into The Woods last night. That hunter green peasant blouse with the corset is a bit ridiculous and her cleavage is OTT but it’s a period film so maybe she wanted to get into the spirit. She’s not actually in the movie, though.
Last month Alyssa shared a breastfeeding selfie on Instagram with her three month-old daughter, Elizabeth, go here to see. It’s a really nice photo that captures a fleeting time in her baby’s life. Alyssa, 41, also has son Milo, 3, with her husband of six years, CAA agent David Bugliari. Apparently the breastfeeding photo was somewhat controversial, because there are always going to be people who say clueless things like “OMG put it away.” My favorite comment was the first one, which concluded “a breastfeeding photo is better than a greasy ass. Thank you for being an inspiration.” Exactly.
At an event for The March of Dimes, E! asked Alyssa about the photo. She had some nice things to say about breastfeeding.
While the actress wasn’t necessary “surprised” by the response, she knew she wanted to make a statement.
“I just think it’s important for women to feel comfortable feeding their babies wherever,” she told E! News at the March of Dimes’ Celebration of Babies event. “If we’re in public, we shouldn’t have to go in the bathroom.”
She added, “I don’t want to eat in a public bathroom. Why should I feed my baby in a public bathroom?”
Milano, who recently decided to leave her hit TV show Mistresses to focus on her family, also can’t seem to understand why photos like hers get so much scrutiny.
“I think it has a lot to do with the sexualization of women’s bodies,” she shared. “I think it’s almost more shocking if you show a picture of the body doing what it’s supposed to be doing than a sexy picture of yourself in a bathing suit or something like that. It’s just a weird double standard I think.”
I think I’ve shared this story here once before, so forgive me if you’ve already heard it. When my son was a few months old, I was still very self conscious about feeding him in public so I went to the bathroom at an Olive Garden restaurant. (My friends were having a big get together there.) A woman actually gave me the stink eye for nursing him – in the bathroom! A few months later we moved to Germany and all of a sudden no one cared that I was breastfeeding him wherever. I found that to be such a relief.
Alyssa has previously spoken about the double standard with people criticizing her breastfeeding photo. She said on The Talk last month that “I got really sad about [the reactions to] it. Because…who are we, that now we get upset as human beings if we see a woman feeding her baby? It’s crazy to me.” She also tweeted a reference to Kim Kardashian’s Paper Mag cover, which came out before she instagrammed the nursing pic. “I don’t get it. No disrespect to Kim [Kardashian] but… people are offended by my breastfeeding selfies & are fine with her (amazing) booty cover?” There are of course the people who will complain about everything, that’s just the Internet, but I definitely agree with her point. At least Facebook changed their policy on nursing photos after a lot of pressure from women’s rights groups.
Spoilers for past episodes of Mistresses follow
Also, I want to talk a little about Alyssa leaving Mistresses. I forgot that she was off the show! I probably won’t watch it without her, Savi was my favorite character and some of the sub plots were really dumb. Joss and Harry?! No.
I don’t know why breastfeeding is such a taboo in the States, In my country it’s not a big deal. Just something normal and natural.
Because OMG BOOBS SO SCANDAL. It’s sad really.
Some find it creepy to have babies mouths on these sexual fun bags, but in the months I’m nursing, if DH ever wants to play with them it creeps me out, akin to using a rattle as a d*ldo or something. It takes months after weaning for the weirdness of sexualizing them to go away for me.
@wiffie
Me too, husband couldn’t *have fun* with the boobs while I was breastfeeding. It was too weird for me.
I always breastfed wherever, whenever, and if someone had a problem with it…look away! Don’t care what you think, a-hole. But I’m a very confident person. I feel bad for shy people who think they have to hide away. It’s horrible for people to be so damn closed minded about one of the most natural things on earth!
Plus I’m into “extended” breastfeeding, so I really would get some looks while nursing my two year old lol!
Unless you’re standing on tables, tits flying, screaming about your right to breastfeed, I don’t see how a nursing mother is drawing attention or MAKING anyone anything. Their just minding their own business while some whacko is staring at them, disgusted with their overt display of mothering.
Right. We have the unfortunate habit in this country of viewing women’s bodies as sexual objects by default. On its own a breast is not a sexual object, nor is there anything sexual about breastfeeding.
@Bluebear That description made me laugh in the middle of work, and I can’t even explain what it was that is so funny!
Its sad how the act of feeding a baby is such a cause for pearl clutching. Google “Baby’s Hungry: A Daddy’s Perspective on Nursing” its a really good article on breastfeeding.
Breast feeding is awesome!!!
True dat.
She’s right.
Oh, we have a lovely breastfeeding row going on in the UK right now. Claridge’s asked a breastfeeding woman to cover up, a leading politician said women shouldn’t be ostentatious about it and sit in the corner when doing it. SIGH.
Anyway. It’s all gone crazy. There’s a mums picket of Claridge’s and EVERYTHING!
http://www.channel4.com/news/breastfeeding-mothers-protest-claridges-hotel-london-farage
Those mums in front of Claridge’s though. Just to make a point, they go out into the cold to breastfeed? Shouldn’t the younger babies be somewhere warm?
I breastfed my son in public. He was the type that really hated being covered up. Because really, everyone eats with a napkin over their heads.
Hahaha. I was in the early days of breastfeeding revival. I was both compelled and confused because I had zero support & breastfed til he was 3.
I usta whip out the melons walking talking and sitting. It was the most normal impulse. My own sister was beyond mortified, but I was a no hiding bf mom. I’ve never seen a post this confident and hilarious. Thanks CB moms
I live in Germany and can’t imagine people caring all that much about breastfeeding in public. But I don’t have friends with kids so I don’t really know. If I witnessed anyone being an ass towards a woman who was breastfeeding, I’d probably march to the next supermarket, buy a stack of p0rn mags and throw them in their face. This topic enrages me and I don’t even think I want kids. But people need to get over themselves.
And she makes an excellent point about the ridiculousness that is breastfeeding in bathrooms. I would never eat in one. Gross.
I agree. Unfortunately I’m someone who does feel very intimidated by others and do go to the bathroom to nurse. If there was a vibe of acceptance, then maybe I wouldn’t have to hide 🙂
The public bathroom seems like a gross place to breastfeed. I think sometimes women assume that when people are “staring” they are doing so as a sign of disapproval. A lot of times I think people are just caught off guard. They aren’t expecting it or are curious? I don’t know but not all people have an issue with it…even if you catch them staring for a second…they may not even know they are doing it.
I never went to the bathroom- I’d go to my car if no other options existed, or another room if possible.
Way to go! I am breastfeeding my daughter and am shocked at the sexualization of women’s bodies. Just look at censorship; why are my nipples offensive, but not a man’s? They look the same, in fact my breast tissue wouldn’t be blurred usually, yet my body is offensive and his is not? Even when his is displayed in a bid for sexual attention, and mine only to feed my child. It’s crazy how our country just accepts this and further propagates it. I want my daughters to be proud of their bodies and what they can do, not feel shame.
I can kind of see both sides. Personally, I’m 100% down with breastfeeding whenever, wherever. I fed my daughter in public plenty of times but always under a light cover (those really thin muslin swaddlers were perfect) so that SHE would have privacy and not be distracted. That was my preference. I have a friend, though, who will let it all hang out and doesn’t care who sees what. I don’t personally like looking at her actual nipples at the playground and I can understand why someone who doesn’t know her at all might raise an eyebrow at how free she is with them but it doesn’t bother her or her kids. I will say, and this might be presumptuous of me, I sometimes feel like she’s doing it just to see if someone will take the bait. She’s very vocal about the merits and rights of breastfeeding so I think sometimes that she might be itchin for a fight but so far I don’t think she’s ever gotten much of a rise out of anyone.
I don’t agree with having the whole nipple on display, and especially in a play ground. You can still breastfeed your baby without showing EVERYTHING. I sat on a bench next to a woman at Disney World. I had a conversation with her about ice cream and didn’t even realize she was breastfeeding her baby until after our conversation was over ! She was very discrete and she showed respect to the people around her who may not want to see an exposed breast and nipple.
If you don’t want to stare at someone’s nipples, DON’T STARE AT SOMEONE’S NIPPLES. Both of you talk like you’re so supportive, but it’s comments like these that make @RussianBlue, 2 comments above you, hide in the goddamned bathroom! A nursing mother doesn’t have to “show respect” to people who can’t manage to look away from something they don’t want to see.
To put it another way, MY EYES ARE UP HERE. Why are you staring at a woman’s boobs in the first place?
@ TQB
Oh calm down. Nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public but you CAN feed your baby without putting your whole breasts on display. There should be a happy medium between those that want to breastfeed and those that don’t want to see women’s breasts exposed. Most of the time, you can’t even tell the mother is breasfeeding (which was the point of my post above) but other times, some women really don’t give a damn and expose it all. Don’t get mad if people stare then. People have the right to their opinions. I respect yours and you should respect mine.
@TQB
I don’t stare and I am supportive. This is a friend of mine I’m talking about. I’m around her often enough that, yeah, I’ve seen her nipples. When I said, “I don’t like looking at them,” I meant it in a “I’m not a perv” way. Like, I’m not intentionally staring or trying to get a peek.
Not always that easy, though. Some babies pop on and off, some moms have larger breasts that are harder to cover, some dyads can only nurse in certain positions…
I can guarantee that 99.9% of women who are “exposing” themselves during breastfeeding are not doing so intentionally. And it is one of those situations that you have every right to not want to see it but the onus is on you to be respectful and excuse yourself without shooting her dirty looks.
@ JB
Exactly. I always look away when I notice a woman is breastfeeding. Women need to stop assuming everyone is trying to “sneak a peak of the nip”. Puh lease. The “stares” for the most part are probably not intentional (with the exction of some people). I think this is just such a touchy subject that anyone who doesn’t fully agree with the popular opinion is going to be bashed. There is no winning with this one.
@S – I don’t shoot dirty looks. I’m sure some people do, but I really believe most people are just caught off guard and then they get labelled as “giving dirty looks” when that wasn’t even their intention, just like I’m sure some women don’t mean to expose their breast while feeding…it just happens.
@word, The “happy medium” is that if your precious opinions are offended by a woman who is more focussed on caring for a baby than what she may (or may not, without ridiculous struggle) be able to do to avoid offending you is that you can leave the area.
@ TQB – yes, I guess only YOUR opinions are “precious”. Please. I think EVERYONE should be more mindful. The world does not revolve around nursing mothers, nor does it revolve around those who are offended by it.
@word, I’m actually quite shy about my body – especially my soft, post-baby body – but it just isn’t as simple as “you can always do it discreetly”. When you first start nursing you have to latch the baby correctly or you’re both in trouble (not enough milk for the newborn and a world of pain for the mother, akin to having your nipples slammed in a door) so you have to take the baby off and try again until you get a good latch. Later, when the baby is active and interested in the world, they will abruptly let go, yank their head around and stare at something noisy that just caught their attention. I can’t control my baby’s thought processes and she gives me no warning – suddenly, my boob is exposed to the world and there’s nothing I can do about that.
I guess I just don’t see someone’s squeamishness about boobs as being as important as the baby’s need for them. I hate feeding that way – both mine were tongue tied with high palates so it’s never been pleasant – but it’s important healthwise so I suck it up. So to speak. I certainly don’t like the exposure involved and dirty looks and huffs add to the hassle and nuisance of it all.
@ K
I understand that. I have never given dirty looks to mothers who are breastfeeding. Some people just get caught off guard for a minute…but I’m sure others blatantly stare for minutes and make rude comments. In your case, it’s not like you’re doing it on purpose…but there are some women who do it on purpose as other posters have mentioned. Either way, we could debate this all day, at the end, just do what you want. If you’re going to breastfeed in a very public place and your breast gets exposed don’t be surprised if people look, it’s a natural reaction. Now if people say rude comments, then that’s a problem and you have every right to be upset about that.
@K:
Me too (shy about body part) but if I have to choose between being a bit uncomfortable so my baby is fed, then I do it. I just don’t understand why other people get offended by a mother feeding a baby – look away. My daughter is quite feisty and won’t tolerate being covered. She wants what she wants and she must have it her way. She’ll yank the cover off and if I’m not looking at her, she will turn my head towards her (diva! lol).
Thank goodness I live in Jamaica though, nobody cares. I’ve seen a mom walking across the street with a baby on the nip.
Also, people can generally only see your nipples while you breastfeed if your baby has a transparent head, which is probably a bigger problem.
LOL
@TQB +1!
Lol.
ZING!
Thank you TQB! First, most nursing mothers who go beyond a few months with their nursling know that a cover is nearly impossible (they pull it off, kick it off, get mad and make a scene) and only serves to draw attention to the act. Second, I would hate to wear a blanket on my head while I ate, why do you think they would? It gets hot and sweaty under there in the winter! Third, nursing is important for more than food. Why do you think your nipples are at the perfect distance from your face, meaning the distance that first born babies can actually focus? Because you should be looking at your child from time to time while nursing! An act that is completely impossible if you’ve covered their head to make strangers “comfortable”.
I nurse my daughter when and where I want. I never use a cover (I tried with my first and experienced an elderly woman shooting daggers at me for it), I don’t wear “breastfeeding clothing”, and unless you are trying to see my breasts, all you’re gonna see is a baby head and a mommy cooing at her.
Additionally, the idea that it’s an “intimate act reserved for mom and baby”, I’d like to say, calm down; usually it’s just lunch.
In the case of this one particular friend I mentioned, you can see hers after she has finished feeding on one side. She leaves her breast out while getting baby latched on the opposite side and then tucks it back in after. Not a common practice in public but it’s the way she (and lots of other women, probably) does it at home so she isn’t bothered by doing it the same way in public.
jb – ita that there are a few women who seem to want to get called out on it for a fight
recently i saw a woman disrobe from the waist up in loehmanns, in the middle of the store, sitting on a mannequin display platform like she was a piece of performance art
you cant tell me she didnt want attention. the same with the lady in the front pew at church who stuffed a tit into a screaming 5 yr old who then screamed, “this is yucky.” i think most people are normal and breastfeed in public normally. but like most things, a few random weirdos make it harder for everyone.
Five years old? Aren’t you in school at that age??? Does the mom show up at school to breasfeed her child too? Wow.
Are you seriously suggesting a woman in church who tried to nurse a screaming child was attempting to attract MORE attention? Do you think she was perhaps desperately trying to get her kid to shut up?
People seem to have this impression that mothers who nurse older children are somehow forcing it on the child. Is anyone unfamiliar with the typical reaction of a toddler when you tell them they can’t have something they want? Hint: it involves A LOT of screaming. Usually in a public place, like church.
OK, this whole post is funny as heck. LOL
Did she take off her top completely or just pull it up? Was she posing? Bwahahahaha
yes i do think the woman in church may have wanted attention in some sort of passive aggressive way, maybe not from everyone but from her husband who was seriously pretending like he didnt know them. she also had an entire box of cereal and a gym bag full of toys. IN THE FRONT ROW. and those seats fill up first. she could have parked all that drama in the last row.
he was 5, he was old enough to say “i dont want that” over and over so trying to literally shove it into his mouth as he walked through the pew instead of putting it away, yes i stand by my original statement.
the woman who took off her shirt in loehamanns actually pulled it over her head and had it next to her. she wasnt wearing a bra.
I guess I just don’t get it either. They’re breasts. Just breasts. Nothing offensive. Nothing private. Just breasts. Seeing them doesn’t phase me. What is it about breasts that those who find offense are so squirrely about?
Agree with everything she has said on this topic. It’s so frustrating to hear about women getting kicked out or treated terribly at different places because they are doing what’s natural, feeding thier babies. But those same people don’t bat an eye lash when they walk past the Victoria’s secret display at the mall. This is a tell tale sign of how, in America, women’s bodies are seen in a completely warped way and what is and is not acceptable for a women to do with her body is completely backwards.
“Don’t bat an eye”, this new phone is autocorrecting and adding words in everywhere!
+1. Here is one of the best responses you will ever see to the double standard:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiS8q_fifa0
The poem is true genius!
I managed to breastfeed three babies(not at same time-LOL!) just about anywhere and never got any grief. I was fortunate in that most of the time, baby was happy to nurse away while being draped. Clearly, I am pro-nursing, but still think there’s room to be both that and sensitive to others’ sensitivities. Totally off topic- that green dress is way too tight!
Personally, I’ve been with people who nurse uncovered and you don’t even notice. I also have a friend who makes a HUGE deal out of it and will uncover long before having baby latch and I think it is to stir controversy. She makes me uncomfortable the way she carries on. I don’t have little kids anymore, but I understand that people want to have all the life and bees conversations on their own time. I wouldn’t appreciate having to answer questions a child wouldn’t even have thought of yet, I don’t think.
You’re inability to answer your child’s normal questions about biology is not a legitimate reason to make other people change their behavior. You realize this is the same thing people say about homosexuals holding hands in public, right?
@TQB – +1000, I’m loving all your comments on this tread, so well put, you know just what to say to these passive aggressive nipple haters!
What questions do you have to deal with a child asking, when your kid sees a baby breastfeeding? Where babies get food? Seriously, why does that need to wait – what happens on a playdate when they see friends’ siblings being fed? The questions I presume you mean are about sex, right? And breastfeeding delays that, because kids don’t assume boobs are dual function – they’re for feeding babies, end of curiosity, surely? I’m sorry but your concern makes zero sense to me.
@TQB
So true. I think the adults make a bigger deal about it than the kids. My son was playing with a friend (both 4) and I was feeding the baby. My son’s friend asked what the baby was doing and I said “drinking milk… I’m feeding her.” My son said “my sister loves milk” and they both went back to playing.
Neither of them were scarred by the experience.
Actually, I have had very frank and up front conversations with my kids from very early ages. I personally believe in providing accurate information and focusing on the amazing science of our bodies. My children would have not be upset of phased by it at any age. I was referencing the fact that that is something I have heard brought up often.
Sensitivities? They are breasts and more of them are on display in the magazine rack at the supermarket than by any nursing mother. Your comment is not “pro-nursing” it’s pro the way YOU nursed. I certainly think you would feel differently if you’d had a baby who didn’t like eating under a sheet. Being pro-nursing means have more compassion for all babies and their mothers, not just the ones you deem “sensitive” enough to others.
Great. Now I’m craving breadsticks from Olive Garden.
Me too! But I’m going to eat them in the bathroom with a sheet on my head 🙂
BAHAHAHAHA!!! I had to stifle an out loud, non work appropriate laugh. 🙂
🙂 🙂 🙂
i’ve BFed my son in bathrooms before (when he still BFed, sigh), and it sucked so bad. he was never a baby who could deal with a cover, even a slight muslin one, so that never worked for us. and i never wanted to have confrontations with others (or dirty looks) when BFing him – it just seemed like something so negative to bring to this inherently positive experience. people always bring so much of their own $hit to seeing (or reading about) women BFing. yeah, i don’t want to look at other women’s nips either – so i don’t look when i see someone BFing. i don’t see how everyone isn’t capable of adhering to that simple policy.
It outrages me that people think they can talk about nursing being great as long as mothers are “discreet” and not realize that all they are doing is making mom’s like you feel incredibly self-conscious. Very few moms really want to have a confrontation with a baby on their exposed breast, even if the confrontation winds up being more of an education. It sucks. So, off to the bathroom, or the dark corner, or the car in the cold/heat, or wherever, to hide.
yep. once again – off to your assigned space where you do your dirty women things, women!
I just must have been really fortunate. My kids were both breastfed and I often did it in the restaurant, at the table and usually with no cover. No one gave dirty looks or made rude comments and I was never asked to cover up or leave. In fact, waiters and waitresses alike were very supportive and asked if I needed anything. And I even live in the U.S. I’m surprised that I’m hearing about this now in this day and age.
Personally, I don’t give a shit you don’t want to see my nipple or what have you. My daughter is hungry, she’s going to get fed. You can move. You wouldn’t eat your lunch in a public restroom, she shouldn’t have to either.
Good, I don’t give a shit if my stink eye to you hurts your precious feelings.
Good, I don’t give a shit if my stink eye to you hurts your precious feelings.
Good. We’re in agreement. Don’t like it? Keep your eyes to yourself and shut up.
One comment was saying “i will do my thing with my kid in my space” the response is ” I have the right to try and influence my displeasure at you”. One is your right, the other is just rude. If you get pleasure from projecting your issues on others & trying to make them feel like crap maybe you should look at your own boobs. Oops I meant self 😉
I guess I should thank you. I feel uncomfortable about nursing in public – you just reminded me that every stinkeye is one more unpleasant person in the world pissed off, so really, it’s a public service.
K- Warm feelings! I always felt uncomfortable feeding my baby in public. I didn’t do it because I wanted to throw my boob at people- every time it was because my baby was hungry. And he had reflux so he ate ALL the time! I covered up & anxiously checked every second to make sure the baby was ok & not throwing the cover off to expose me. I wish I could be more like Carrie- my life (and feeding) may have been easier. Just ignore people & think that they are miserable even with more uninterrupted sleep then us! Wtf?!
There is wayyyy too much anger regarding this topic. I’m outta here.
I don’t understand the whole controversy either. But I will say one thing–if I had kids, I think it’s a lot better for them to see breasts as they were intended–a woman breastfeeding–than to see them so sexualized all the time.
Excellent point.
**Two thumbs up.**
I wouldn’t want to be in the bathroom feeding a kid, just like I don’t want to eat there. But it’s nice to cover up because it really does make some people uncomfortable. I was at a restaurant and a lady was bf her baby at the next table. Lots were commenting. Kids were pointing
Do you want to eat with a sheet on your head?
@TBQ
You know other people have the right to an opinion? Or is it just you?
You are on here just looking to battle but most people seem to be ignoring you…..
So the baby should be hot and sweaty, and the mother unable to see her nursing child, because people have an inability to mind their own business and NOT make a scene? How does that make sense to you?
Why are the rights of the breastfeeding mother more important than those of the other people? They shouldn’t be – there needs to be a balance.
“Lots were commenting, kids were pointing” ?? That sounds like a manners problem to me. Why should she have to cover her babies head to ensure that others act properly towards her. Those who were commenting were rude. Those kids who were pointing were having their rudeness excused by rude parents. Why not just tell your child that that is how some mothers feed their babies and tell them not to point because it is not showing good manners…why is this hard for some people.
I don’t blame kids…they are curious and for some that might have been the first time they saw a woman breast feed. Now if adults had that reaction, it’s a different story.
Sure Me, but as a parent you don’t just sit there and let it continue without at least correcting and explaining it. You have to teach that it is rude to point and comment, you wouldn’t want them pointing and commenting at someone disabled, or of a different race. I wouldn’t mind a child pointing and commenting as long as I see the parent reacting to it, not just blatantly ignoring or encouraging it.
+1. Not a mothers fault or her babies if some people can’t mind their own manners and teach their kids to do the same.
@ elo
Of course the parent should tell the child not to point and comment. Unfortunately not all children listen to their parents.
If someone’s kids won’t listen to or mind them in public that is a bigger parenting problem than pointing and imo is way more, nay infinity more irritating than breast feeding could ever be. Barring extraneous circumstances (disability) If your kids can’t behave in public, keep the little monsters at home until you make them mind you. If your kids don’t listen to you and mind you, that is your fault, not theirs.
@ elo
Yeah but it’s easier said than done. I don’t have kids but I have seen some BAD kids in public…just horrible. The parents seem exhausted. I don’t just assume it’s always due to bad parenting. Some kids just really are hard to handle.
As I said above Me, I’m so willing to sympathize and give a pass if they are at least trying to correct them. Parenting isn’t easy and it isn’t convenient but I will say, if I can’t get my child to stop pointing and being difficult and rude in public we are stopping what we are doing and we are leaving. Why should anyone else have to endure my childs rude behavior?
You know what makes me uncomfortable- a crying, hungry baby. Some babies just don’t eat covered (my nephew). I was there when my sister tried to keep him covered, he was begging for food & people were side eyeing her. It was painful to watch (the rude people NOT her boob).
Exactly, you don’t want the mother to feed them, so you would rather spend your meal listening to them cry from hunger?
for me, it’s just something I feel more at ease doing in private. To each her own.
I’m so tired of both of my families criticizing me for breast feeding. My daughter is 18months and since the beginning everyone is acting like I’m crazy because I’m not bottle feeding her, even her pediatrician told me I need to wean her, because he just felt it was time, what the hell. Its the only was she’ll fall asleep and believe me I’ve tried everything. I breastfeed her at home and when family is there, i take her in another room and they still complain. I really don’t get the bottle back lash. I don’t brag at all about nursing her or complain, so I don’t get it .
If you’re in your own home, your relatives have no right to complain. It’s YOUR house. You can do as you choose. Also, all babies are different. Some get off breast milk quicker than others. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Not every baby is the same. I have two sons & one had reflux so he ate ALL the time. He couldn’t eat solids at first so I breastfed a long time with him. No one knows what your baby needs better then you. Feel good that you are doing the best for your baby! I hate the idea that one size fits all & the World Health Organization recommends breast feeding way longer then we typically do in the US. Enjoy the time in the room with your baby away from your relatives- something tells me it’s probably way more peaceful 🙂
Don’t worry about when she’ll wean. It could simply be she just loves the time and contact with you, and if the schedule is changing, it might be scary for her. Or she’s still supplementing with mommy’s milk. I breastfed my first and plan on breastfeeding my second. My daughter was self-weaned at 17 months. I wasn’t purposefully trying to wean her, she simply lost interest and was happily eating solid foods. She’s over six years old now, and we still make time to cuddle up in the evenings with a book before bed. That’s our snuggle time, and I love it!
All that being said, stick to your guns girl! Your child, your house, you do what you feel is right to raise your daughter as you see fit. If your family doesn’t like it, you can always tell them that their negative opinions are not welcome, and nothing is changing on your behalf, so they can either make peace with it or leave.
When I had my oldest daughter their was no such thing as nursing rooms so all we had was the bathroom which only had one metal chair tucked in the corner.you always had to be careful of the door so you didn’t get hit by it.It was always an uncomfortable experience.I always felt like I was being shunned for having to feed my baby. So one time I decided to cover up and feed my baby at the table because I wanted to be apart of the conversation,I was getting tired of having to leave every time I had to feed the baby and since no one at the table had a problem with me breastfeeding I thought it would be fine.Well,was I wrong.The couple who had the table next to us made it perfectly clear that HE did not approve of what I was doing and thought I should leave and do that elsewhere. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say or do. The man threw his menu on the table and left the restaurant. I never understood nor understand the stigma attached to breastfeeding
Well the dude walked away hungry and your baby got fed, so who won lol? That’s a crazy reaction.
So true!
I don’t like seeing other women’s boobs (raised with body shame) but who the hell am I to ask someone to do something different because I am uncomfortable?! That is the real issue! My friends would be shocked to hear that I am not at ease when someone bfs around me because I’d never make them feel uncomfortable, side eye them or give them the stink eye. My son always knew boobs were there to feed babies & that’s what they do. If he pointed at a woman’s boobs disrespectfully we’d be having a convo & wouldn’t be how she should cover up! Oh- there was a woman on an airplane that was asked to cover up & her newborn suffocated. Glad those people didn’t have to fly know there were unsheathed boobs in room! I’m shocked at some of the comments on this thread…..
+10000
Im in the Netherlands and its no big deal here either as far as Im aware.
My personal opinion (not a mum btw), what always strikes me when a baby is breast fed how they seek eye contact with their mother. That is just such a lovely thing to witness and i can only imagine what a great bonding experience that must be.
But i can imagine that people can be a little startled when a woman suddenly exposes her breast in public, when initially you dont realise it is to feed their baby. My friend did that the other day at lunch and it did take me half a second to go from “what are you doing, its freezing?” too oohhh baby is hungry.
I’m glad you brought this up! Babies need “face time” and there was nothing better then when I was feeding my son, he’d look up at me & gently touch my face while I fed him. He’s 8-yrs-old now & I will never, ever forget feeling that close to another human. It really is bonding.
It seems weird to share an intimate moment like that with everyone around you. I’d argue for discretion, simply based on that.
I’m all for free the nipple and sun bathing topless, but I don’t necessarily want to see someone breastfeeding in a restaurant, sorry.
Sometimes feeding a baby is incredibly intimate but typically that was when I was at home, getting him ready for bed & humming lullabies- just the two of us in quiet. During the day the dude just wanted fed, a full belly & then get back to playing. My old argument stays true- I’d rather see (if I look) a boob then hear a hungry baby crying.
While it can be intimate, it is first and foremost feeding. Feeding happens in restaurants. It sounds more like you have an issue with breasts serving their non-sexual, biological purpose.
I thought the picture that Alyssa posted was beautiful and touching. I wish that more women would speak out in support of breastfeeding and not making it something to be ashamed of. Good for you, Alyssa!
A baby needs food. Bottling and pumping is likely a pain, and for god’s sake, thats why we have breasts, why cows have udders, and why all other mammals (and even marsupials) have nipples/teets. Everyone thinks its so cute when puppies or kittens nurse, and then freak the f!ck out when a human does it.
ILLOGICAL. Why stick so many twisted and unnecessary thoguht into it: its a baby, it needs milk, and the milk is in the breast. We did not have plastic crap until this century, and formula is not healthy. Get over it!
If I’m given warning before hand I don’t usually mind. I had people mid conversation just whip out their breast, and start breast feeding. I do prefer them to be covered when women can, but that’s more for children and the perverts.
Very simple: she’s right. You don’t feed a baby in the toilet. My only issue is when I hear 3 and 4 year olds called babies and their mothers are insisting they need to be nursed. A preschooler is not a baby or toddler.
I definitely don’t think women should have to breastfeed in the bathroom. But I know a lot of women who aren’t happy to breastfeed in a public place eg. at their table in a cafe or on a chair in the middle of a store. But they also aren’t happy to feed in the bathroom or go to their car or whatever. Most of them are big proponents of all restaurants, stores etc. having private rooms just for breastfeeding mothers. I don’t mean a large shopping centre having a parents room, I mean each individual business having space set aside purely for breastfeeding mothers who aren’t comfortable feeding in public.
You should absolutely be able to feed in public (I did with 4 children btw), but if you don’t like feeding in public, well that’s your issue and as such a bathroom may well be your only option while out and about.
Enough! Breast feeding is private -I don’t care to see it in public. And thankfully, this ISN’T germany. It’s a bodily function. As such keep it to yourself. No reason to subject an unwilling audience to your needs. Have Some Consideration -show some dignity.