I truly hope Michael Keaton wins an Oscar this year for his role as Riggan Thomson in Birdman. He’s received awards buzz since the film hit festivals, and he’s up for a Golden Globe and a SAG. There are plenty of deserving actors and great performances this year, but people love a comeback. Keaton has a new interview with The Shortlist. He promises that he’ll give a “weeping, gushing, phony, obnoxious” speech if he wins. Girl, you know you wanna see that happen.

This is a fun interview. Keaton claims that he’s not jealous of Ben Affleck playing the Batman role, but there is some delicious shade in his answer. Not necessarily towards Batfleck but towards all of the other Batdudes. Keaton previously said it’s not hard to play Batman these days, and he doubles down on that statement. He also considers himself the only “real” Batman. I gave him the benefit of the doubt last time, but I think these answers are a little shade-y. You tell me:

On his Riggan character in Birdman: “He’s so f***ing annoying. He’s such a whiner — actually, it’s not that he’s a whiner; he’s just so needy. But then I didn’t relate to the character I played in Desperate Measures. I was going to say [I didn’t relate to my character in] Clean And Sober, but to some degree everybody’s probably got some sort of addiction. For a long time I had an addiction to going running. But I don’t relate to Pacific Heights, you know? I guess I don’t relate to Riggan’s personality type.”

On running through Times Square in his boxers: “Fun, because it was so f***ing crazy. Then, honestly, what happens is that it quickly becomes very not crazy. Once you’re in your character mood, you’re this guy and weirdly you go: ‘OK, I’m in my underwear, and I don’t want that to make me look really uncomfortable.’ You just think about him, how desperate he is and how he’s trying to hold his dignity together.”

On the film’s unflattering shots: “It’s purposely not flattering. People say I look like that because obviously I do, but it’s not that hard to make someone look bad. I like it. I’ve done this before. Beetlejuice isn’t the most attractive dude in the world. Dogberry [in Much Ado About Nothing] isn’t either. But I like when you get to have teeth. It feels like more work to be well coiffed and made to look handsome, because I have to be careful about what I do. You have to be willing to make yourself unflattering. You make your eyes look tired. You look horrible. It’s really freeing because you just go, ‘OK, take all your clothes off in Times Square.’ Then, of course, you see yourself and go: ‘Woah, dude, I think I’ve gone a little too far.”

Is he afraid of having a gushy Oscar speech? [Laughs] “No, I think weeping and gushing is cool. I see a totally phony, gushing, pandering, obnoxious, long, vomiting, spewing type of speech.”

On superhero movies: “Tim [Burton] changed, or started, everything. And I’m proud of the choice I made, in terms of how to play Batman. It’s probably easier now because Tim paved the way, and if I did anything to pave the way, I’m proud of that, too. I’ve never seen [a superhero movie] beginning to end. Oh actually, I saw the first Spider-Man — I thought that was really good. You can step into it more easily now, is my guess. Technically, [superhero movies] do everything for you. They create a world where all you’ve basically got to do is show up, not f*** it up too much and you’ll come off OK.

Does he share Christian Bale’s jealousy of Batfleck? “No. Do you know why? Because I’m Batman. I’m very secure in that.”

[From The Shortlist]

This is hilarious. The Batfleck casting ruffled some former Bat feathers. Christian Bale admitted how he “stared into nothing for 30 minutes,” which (as some of you pointed out) was definitely shade against Ben’s acting and not cool. (By the way, Exodus boycott may have worked.) Do these grown men realize they’re acting like teenagers over a superhero role? In Keaton’s defense, a lot of people gave him grief as he filmed the first Batman. He was seen as a comedic actor, and no one thought he could play “serious.” So it makes sense that Keaton would feel a little protective of the role. It’s still funny.

Movie still courtesy of Warner Bros.; photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN