Star Magazine is doubling down on it’s cover story from two weeks ago – the hilarious one about Brad Pitt sexing up the nanny and Angelina slapping him in a fit of nanny-hating rage. They take their own story as fact and now claim that ever since the nanny incident, Brad and Angelina have been sleeping apart. This week’s cover has Angelina looking pissy at Brad with the words “DON’T TOUCH ME” written in-between them. It’s hysterical.
Poor Brad is counting sheep in sleeping bags with the kids, and he tells their children that Mommy’s just working late. He says this because in Star’s reality, “she banned him from their bedroom.” Brad doesn’t want to face Angelina’s “cold fury every night” and she has been seeing “a familiar face” during her troubled time:
Hot sex life? Fuhgetaboutit! After a huge blow-up over the nanny, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are now sleeping apart.
In the April 6 issue of Star — on sale now! — we report that Angie is still furious over catching Brad with one of the family nannies and has kicked him out of their bedroom.
While the couple once caused a stir with their loud lovemaking at an African resort, now Angelina won’t let Brad near her at home. “Angie is still very angry over the nanny thing,” an insider tells Star. “Right now, the separate bedrooms arrangement seems to be the best thing for them. Brad doesn’t want to face her cold fury every night.”
Brad is so unhappy about sleeping solo that he’s even taken to “camping out” with the kids in sleeping bags inside little tents in their rooms. “He tells them it’s because Mommy’s working late again, but it’s really because she banned him from their bedroom,” the insider adds.
Which familiar face has Angelina been turning to during her troubled time? (They took a three-day getaway together!) What gift did Brad send Angie on the set of Salt — that she immediately passed off to the makeup artists? Get the full story in the new issue of Star today.
[From Star Magazine
I would like to know what gift Brad sent to Angie. It doesn’t really seem like they’re one of those couples who ply each other with extravagant presents, so perhaps Brad just sent her something cheap that she didn’t care for? And now I’m giggling because I’m imagining Brad sending Angelina a garden hose or a pair of socks marked “Please forgive me ‘cause of bangin’ the nanny. XX, Bradley”. Seriously, these Star Magazine writers need to just admit that they’re writing fiction, and try to get this stuff published in Harper’s.
Maybe it’s just the snoring.
her brother must be so happy now
“And now I’m giggling because I’m imagining Brad sending Angelina a garden hose or a pair of socks marked “Please forgive me ‘cause of bangin’ the nanny. XX, Bradley”.
Hahahahahaha Kaiser, that is the funniest thing you’ve ever written!
That is just wonderful.
And so true on this too:
“Seriously, these Star Magazine writers need to just admit that they’re writing fiction, and try to get this stuff published in Harper’s.”
Amen.
The palpable hatred for AJ drips from every word in that mag, I swear. She doesn’t live according to the assumed standards of their demographic, so they punish her for it. Smug pri**s.
Because, of course, Star magazine would be privy to all the intimate details of the Jolie-Pitts lives, including conversations Brad has with his children and the sleeping arrangements between Angie and Brad.
Why would we doubt that? (GIANT eye-roll!)
I feel bad for their children when they are old enough to read. Imagine reading this BS every time you get in line at the grocery store about your parents?
‘Imagine reading this BS every time you get in line at the grocery store about your parents?’
Those kids will never see the inside of a grocery store.
Oh please people.
6 kids equals nightmares and alot of mommy and daddy spending the nights in seperate rooms. Not because of trouble but because a kid is always afraid unless mommy or daddy either sleep beside them or they are allowed to sleep in mommy and daddys bed. IM guessing they’re doing the seperate approach so they dont encourage the rest of the kids to jump in their bed too.
Do they have a hidden “nanny cam” in the bedroom? The poster is right about the poor kids seeing this trash, although I’m sure the parents will speak to them about it when they’re old enough. Yes, it’s easy to hate on AJ and unfortunately it sells, so doubt there will be an end of the bashing in my lifetime.
I love how everything thats written about Branglina in these tabloids is a “lie” but, when its about Maniston its the gospel truth.
haha czarina @5:40. isn’t it 12:40 ct right now cb?
That’s not true at all. Some things have a ring a truth re both, others not so much. I reckon Jolie calls most of the shots in this relationship and that it’s probably pretty fiery but any exclusive that comes from a ‘source’ or an ‘insider’ is usually pure fantasy. I think most people can tell the difference.
Gemma I agree I know Tom Cruise mentioned on Oprah how he teaches his teenagers to deal with the lies and gossip about their family. I vaguely remember Demi talking about the tabs re her divorce from Bruce and how they discussed it with their girls.
I can see her being a jealous person. How can you trust your man when he cheated with you on his wife
and we all know they fecked…
As the saying goes, “if he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you.”
Not that I believe for one minute he was using his meat gloves on the nanny.
He’s probably terrified of ol Stretchy. She has a penchant for knives, collecting blood and macking on family. She is crazier than a shithouse rat!
But I forgot, she’s a humanitarian, so that excuses all of her behavior!
Oy, you reap what you sow.
Meh.
You can be nuts and a good person. Why not?
As for the whole them having a tiff? I agree with the posters who have been saying it might be about the kids.
It’s very true that mom and dad gotta split themselves from each other to watch out for the kids. How abnormal is it for a kid to have nightmares and want daddy around? Not at all.
As for Maniston….well, I’m inclined to only believe the things that she says. Which to be fair, that woman says a LOT.
Um…don’t they stay in 100 room mansions? There wouldn’t be another bed for Benjamin Button? I’d buy this story if Angie kept him out of the bedroom by hanging a picture of Jennifer Aniston on the door. LOL
I don’t even like Angelina and I don’t believe this story! Or the one about the Nanny!
Lol….i’m glad that Angie dosen’t put up with brad’s cheating ways anyway. Regardless of how they got together, the past is the past now, and he is a father of six. Neither Angie nor Brad will be in a “forever” relationship, we all know that, however, they both could make a better effort to keep it decent for the kids sake….Angie’s temper and knife throwing is well documented thru her life….maybe next time she’ll do a Bobbit on Bradley….the male ho
I don’t think Star or National Enquirer stories are worth reporting, they are all so ridiculous.
The Star..waste of trees. Really, who cares. I want to know how many of those AIG bonus checks will be returned. I want to know how many children are now homeless because of the financial meltdown. But as a guilty pleasure and to even out the stress levels I read Kaiser. Keep it amusing folks..love it!!
She doesn’t even look pissy in that picture. She looks like they’re having a conversation and she was photographed mid-word.
I do not believe anything written about anyone in Star or the Nat Enquirer.They always lie without exception and never have anything but old photoshpped pixs. Their circulation is way way down.
FYI- patty anne, Brad has also collected knives for many years, I imagine his collection plus Angelina’s must be quite valuable.
Actually, the National Enquirer, though not respected, is often right and gets scoops the “respectable” newspapers get only later. Also, is it just me, or does Brad look more and more, GASP, ordinary as the years go by? That mustache is not doing him any favors. If he weren’t Brad Pitt, I’d kick him out of the bedroom for the mustache alone.
Sauronsarmy, Again I don’t care who the Star or Nat Enq write about, it is never true. Whether JenA or Brad and Angie or Sean Penn or anyone else. Star and NE are just trash. OK? Please don’t drag this into a debate. There is no truth in tabloids. Lies, lies, and more lies. I am consistent in that truth.
j. ferber, not true. The Nat Enq buys medical info from hospitals and hires PIs to chase people. Their have no cnscience and print stories that should be private like people dying and such. I hate Nat Enq and Star and all talbloids as they hurt people in a horrible manner. The Nat Enq has had to pay millions for the damage it has done and people have gone to jail.
I’m more interested about the Star having contacts in Africa. Really? Someone actually called the star – of all tabloids – all the way from Africa to tell a prissy journo that Brangelina have loud sex? ROFLMFAO.
I especially liked that ‘on sale now!’. Nice touch.
And we have to wait another week to read BS? I can imagine the editor-in-chief of this rag put a hat on the table and told his reporters to throw ideas inside. The person that invents the best story about Angie’s ‘familiar face’ and ‘gift from Brad’ get front page and a raise.
Pffft
Okay, then where is the picture of this hot nanny?
I call bullcaca.
Rita, I said that they get the story right, not that they have nice ethics.
I agree with Sauronsarmy.
And is Brad playing a Nazi in his next role?
It’s hilarious that Brad would be sleeping in a tent in his kids’ bedroom! How can you make that stuff up?
Angelina said they fight, but not in front of the kids. I’d imagine with 6 little kids around at all times it would be difficult to have much of a relationship.
I too agree with Sauronsarmy.
Although, seriously, if we are all in agreement that this story is bs, then…why the hell do you keep reprinting their nonsense? There are true things occurring that are far more interesting than a non-existent love triangle. Actually, there are even more untrue things that are more interesting. These Brangaloonie driven posts are really making this site less interesting, which sucks, because it used to be really great. And it just makes people fight. Which does bring more traffic to here, but it’s just putting nastiness out in the world. Kaiser, you’re a good writer, but I must admit I far prefer your other posts, dear. But I’m glad you’re writing here 🙂
Nothing in that story is surprising. They both cheat and I can’t believe Angelina being as smart as she is would think she is so special that Brad wouldn’t do it to her too. Wait a minute Brad didn’t cheat he is just emotionally connected to the nanny and rubbed her shoulders. I’m sure Angelina can understand that seeing she did it to Jennifer. I truly believe Angelina thought if she kept on having kids Brad could never leave. OOPS. Didn’t judge that one right did you Angelina.
didnt a gossip rag print the sen. john edwards baby story. no one believed it and we all know now its true. if the baby was sen mccains it would have been taken as gospel truth.
that’s a great idea to sleep in a tent in the kiddies’ bedroom while your partner has a gruelling early-morning-start schedule.
amazing what good parents do in order to keep-it-all-together; devoted parents have no limitations on their imaginative solutions.
Wonderful issues altogether, you simply won a new reader. What may you suggest in regards to your post that you just made a few days in the past? Any positive?