Rihanna covers the new issue of the New York Times’ T Magazine. It’s an issue with multiple covers, devoted to “The Greats,” including Quentin Tarantino, Karl Lagerfeld and more. Miranda July wrote the profile and the piece is written in a gushy, girl-crush-OMG style. Apparently, Rihanna hasn’t been giving many interviews for a few years (although she just gave an interview to Vanity Fair, so it’s not like this piece is super-exclusive). You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:
What she Googles: “Oh, random things. Like I will be sitting around Googling childbirth… Childbirth is putting it the not-gross way. I was searching the size of certain things, and how much they expand, and then what happens after. …”
Being a next-moment person: ‘‘I’m the same way. Only now are things hitting me, like I’m feeling them emotionally. I used to feel unsafe right in the moment of an accomplishment — I felt the ground fall from under my feet because this could be the end. And even now, while everyone is celebrating, I’m on to the next thing. I don’t want to get lost in this big cushion of success.’’
Why she doesn’t have a boyfriend right now: “Guys need attention. They need that nourishment, that little stroke of the ego that gets them by every now and then. I’ll give it to my family, I’ll give it to my work — but I will not give it to a man right now.”
Her turn-ons: “I’m turned on by guys who are cultured. That’ll keep me intrigued. They don’t have to have a single degree, but they should speak other languages or know things about other parts of the world or history or certain artists or musicians. I like to be taught.”
Human sexuality: “Well, there’s always this human instinct about that, even from a very, very young age.. But by like age 11, girls were talking about what they had and hadn’t done. I hadn’t even kissed a boy yet, so it always made me feel insecure, like I was never gonna be good or ready or know what to do — I didn’t even have boobs.’’
How she’s experienced racism & racial issues in America: “You know, when I started to experience the difference — or even have my race be highlighted — it was mostly when I would do business deals… And, you know, that never ends, by the way. It’s still a thing. And it’s the thing that makes me want to prove people wrong. It almost excites me; I know what they’re expecting and I can’t wait to show them that I’m here to exceed those expectations. But I have to bear in mind that those people are judging you because you’re packaged a certain way — they’ve been programmed to think a black man in a hoodie means grab your purse a little tighter. For me, it comes down to smaller issues, scenarios in which people can assume something of me without knowing me, just by my packaging.”
When Rihanna is talking about men needing their ego stroked, Miranda July says that it took her a while to find a guy who wasn’t threatened by her power, and Rihanna says she’s still dealing with that issue. As for the childbirth thing, apparently July asked her point-blank if she is pregnant and Rihanna “laughed and assured me she wasn’t having a child anytime soon; her fear was generalized.” As in, she’s afraid of what will happen to her lady parts during childbirth.
Photos courtesy of T Magazine, Instagram.
Correction: People need encouragement. But kudos to her for recognizing you shouldn’t be in a relationship when you’re not in a place to accept someone else’s needs. I respect that.
She’s so stunningly beautiful.
Yes
Yes, don’t we all need nurturing and encouragement? I agree with your second comment, too. Right after my divorce, my friends kept saying “get out there!” No. If a man had needed anything from me – energy, time, anything, I just didn’t have it to give. It’s good to take a break sometimes.
That’s not a correction. Yes all people need encouragement. But women being sacrificed on behalf of the male ego is a systemic problem that you’d have to be breathtakingly ignorant to not acknowledge.
Your point is the #AllLivesMatter of arguments, which is to say that you’ve missed the point.
Yes, well put.
Well,Kairos, I consider your response to be heteronormative and steeped in outdated gender stereotypes.
Bettyrose,
Rihanna is talking about male/female relationships, so the heteronormativity charge will have to fall on her. And still fail, because she’s a straight woman talking about her own experiences. And the gender stereotypes belong to Rihanna as well. Kairos called it a “systematic problem”.
Sigh. I agreed with Rihanna, if you read my post, and was then the recipient of an ad hominem attack based on a false analogy. Can’t we just all get along? 😉
My comment was actually the opposite of #alllivesmatter as I basically expanded a negative comment to be all encompassing (not appropriating an empowering comment), a point intended to expand the conversation not invalidate Rhianna’s feelings, and then I praised her. Nothing in what I said challenged or diminished Rhianna’s unique experiences.
Rihanna is an interesting person. She’s very unapologetic. I’ve always been a fan of her music. She has the best writers and producers in the game. But I don’t know if I like her. It’s sad that she’s almost 30, and still living the life of a teenager.
She hardly living the life of a teenager. Rihanna is career woman, a global brand. Rihanna supposedly has great work ethic ( and yes she parties hard too). I don’t see why any of this as a problem as long as she does her job. Plenty of 27 year old successful men work hard, party hard and doesnt want to settle down yet.
On a general note, all the singers who have really big careers, Katy Perry, Taylor, Rihanna and Beyonce are known to have great work ethic.
Why do say she living the life of teenager you don’t live her.
I am confused by that comment as well.
I don’t see anything sad or ‘teen-agerish’ about her life. why is it sad?, just bc she isn’t interested in settling down just yet? She’s just living her life with other priorities, she’s a career woman who seems to work non-stop in one way or another.
Different strokes for different folks but I don’t see anything sad about it. Wish I could travel and see the world like she does.
She’s a teen performer, people tend to forget how young she started out and missed on certain experiences. She’s doing what every single performer, bar Beyonce, who started working young is doing. And She’s going to have arrested development in certain areas whilst being ahead of the curve in others when compared to her contemporaries.
I’m a RIhannna fan. But she’s always been two steps forward, three steps back. SEE: ditching Chris Brown. Dating Travis Scott.
I guess, I’ve just been annoyed by her lack communication with fans all year. All year, all we saw was her going to the club, sticking her tongue down rapist, homophone boy toy Travis Scott and constantly going on vacation. She seems to be working again NOW.
These are your opinions and you have a right to them. Nothing has to be explained.
She’s been working though… something is delaying the album and rumours are it’s Kanye.
I understand exactly what you’re trying to say and totally agree. The hard partying, walking around practically naked most of the time. These are the actions of a teenager. I wish she never had to feel that she had to stroke a man’s ego. It’s all give and take with a large dose of compromise. It’s a partnership. I hope she finds someone on her own level where they can have a level relationship that is living and support ing of each other.
There should be a balance of attention giving/needing in a relationship. Sounds like she’s dated boys rather than men.
Most relationships take energy and nurturing at times and, yes, even stroking their ego at times like she said. And that goes the same for women also for whatever their needs are.
It just sounds like she doesn’t have that kind of energy to give right now nor wants to with her busy career. Any powerful female celeb, more powerful or successful than their spouse, I notice makes sure to pump them up sometimes when talking about them. Julianne Moore springs to mind about her husband, who has never been that successful as a director/writer, even though he’s tried.
It’s just life. Being in a relationship does take energy, and often male/female relationships really are the whole Venus and Mars thing. And she’s very busy, never in one place often. I would imagine it’s nice to not have to answer to any significant other or worry about their needs at this place in her life
I do agree with you, there should be a balance. However, I’ve noticed that the type of attention men and women respond best to is different. We all need love and support, but the form that takes is often different between the genders. Men are more fragile than our societal definition of masculinity would imply, and in the words of Miss Marple, “Gentlemen can so easily feel neglected.” I just got done with that book and the phrase is fresh in my mind. So apt, really. Of course women can feel neglected too, but the whys and wherefores aren’t the same.
but thats not a gender thing it comes down to what the person wants, some people need to hear words, other see deeds and others need to feel their partner physically.
and yeah of course men are more fragile than masculinity would imply, it would mean they are all robots with no human emotions.
Right. There is absolutely the expectation that the woman will do the emotional labor/heavy lifting in a heteronormative relationship. It’s a lot of work, and rarely appreciated/compensated. It’s like when men who don’t do an equal share of the housework tell you your standards are too high, or you should do it because they don’t care. But if someone comes over and your house is messy, you’re the one who’s judged.
Love this girl, very candid but at the same time very private.
And that girl is FIERCE.
Looks good wearing anything, indeed.
Those pics are killing me this morning, she looks that good.
I think her face and her body are both just stunning. Her eyes, my gosh.
Truth. She’s said and done some problematic things but she doesn’t pretend to be this perfect person. She’s just living her life and figuring sh*t out as she goes along. Just like the rest of us.
She looks amazing. She’s been bringing game to her interviews lately. Good stuff.
She has such a messed up view on men in general, no wonder she makes such sh*tty picks. But points for the comment on how her race/gender plays out in the board room versus the stage.
The reality is you don’t know her , her real life and who she is really dating right unless you are her vagina
you can post this below every gossip article in the world.
This is a comment board. None of us know these people, its all speculation. What’s disturbing is people that are so invested in these entertainer that they will hostily defend them by insulting others. And the vagina comment gives away your maturity level.
Yeah, you can really tell she’s very young and still have a lot to learn about the give and take of relationships. But on the other hand she never had a good role model .
When you’re young you think you have everything figured out. Little due they know that you are continuously evolving. Men and women never really have a true sense of self until later in life(40s &50s) and even then your still learning.
You are always learning but if at 27 you are saying the types of things she says on relationships, you are either a Duggar or pretty messed up. I dont think she knows what a loving mutually nurturing relationship looks like and even worse, she doesnt seem to know she needs to work on this aspect of herself. Her emotional intelligence is the worst.
I’m kinda of sticking up for Naya. Who has Rihanna dated so far that’s formed her opinon on men’s needs – Chris Brown, Ashton Kutcher, Justin Timberlake, Drake, Shea LaBouf, and a couple sports figures. Every single one of them is a self-centered piece of work. No, we don’t know her life and we don’t really know her, but it’s pretty obvious she picks guys who are not her equal in terms of interests, goals, etc. So far she’s picked guys who think she’s hot and see her as no more than a sexual object. I finid it interesting she’s saying she wants a culurally intellectually stimulating man. She’s looking for someone completely different than those she’s been with. Good for her she’s seeing the light.
She dated chris when she was 19 and you grow evolve make mistakes. her are just in public
And every man since Chris Brown has not been a beater, but were all men who are immature and objectify women – Leo? Come on!!!
She is growing and evolving, but she has definitely shown a pattern in choices and relationships. Nobody says she’s stuck there. In fact, I said good for her as she’s talking as though she’s seeing what she actually needs in a partner for a long-term viable relationsip v. dating men who stroke her own ego and make her feel like she must be so physically awesome because they are famous, can have anybody, and Leo? He usually only dates models, so…..
Wait where did you get that list? lol
Wait where did you get that list? lol
Intriguing interview. I have to say that’s part of why I enjoy hip hop culture is because you have these people others would have crossed the street to get away from or held their purses a little tighter suddenly making major investment deals and being sought after aggressively by companies.
Good luck to her on the dating front because her romantic tastes do seem to skew towards trouble.
I think it’s good to say “Atta boy.” But for me, I’m not constantly fawning over my husband. I know my relationship with my husband and if I were all over his jock and praising 24/7 he’d get irritated. It would start to feel insincere. We grateful to have each other and thankful towards each other for what we do.
I don’t think she meant constantly stroking their ego. “That little stroke of the ego that gets them by every now and then.”
This. There’s a big difference between fawning and the occasional ego boost, and she was talking about the latter. And she recognizes that she doesn’t have the time or energy to even do that, which is totally valid.
We see her partying which I thinking is part of bad gal brand then there are days this woman disappears for days. I think she is very smart and a lot more grounded than people think and growing up a lot
She needs a guy who’s cultured, intriguing and bilingual. Yeah that fit Chris Brown to a T.
Well, she’s moved past Chris. It seems like she’s maturing and evolving.
When she got involved with CB she was 19. Most women change for their teens to their late 20s.
It wasn’t to long ago she told Oprah that she wanted she was more worried about him during the domestic abuse trial. She told Oprah,,”Who’s going to save him?”. Then she went back to him posing naked in a fur coat on twitter with him. This was a couple of years ago.
I hope she really finds someone more deserving in the future.
Its really like those guys talking about “strong women” and then dating the usual bimbos, i mean which cultured man has she dated? Karim “i spent most of my money on prostitutes” Benzema?
You put it in a nutshell!
Do you really know who she has dated or just who we think she dated.
Being a next-moment person is a pain. We hardly enjoy the moment; when we start to do it, it’s gone!
Now, from all the interesting things she said here, the headline’s sentence is pretty weak in comparison. Yeah, the blog is not mine, I know, I know.
I totally agree with they could have found a better headlines
I love Rihanna for how she portrays herself and her music. I don’t know how honest she was being about her taste in men. The men she has been seen with would lead me to think she is most attracted to the ‘bad boy’ image. Nothing wrong with that but she certainly isn’t going to say it.
I want someone to ask her about her mac and cheese recipe. She said she had a good one and now I really want to know.
#hereforthecheese
Rihanna is an intriguing soul. I can appreciate her more than I did when she was going through a transition a few years ago. She seems wise and true to herself.
Loved Rihanna’s points here. Smart girl. Jennifer Lawrence and Rihanna… saying different things but in big ways saying the same thing. Rihanna… a bit of a harder road with dealing with Industries respect for her business savvy position. Also, I knew when she was dating CB, his ego couldn’t stand the height of her career. She wields lots of power.
Rihanna can’t win. When she was dating guys that weren’t of the highest moral caliber, she was criticized for being a bad role model to young women.
Now she’s matured and saying that she wants a cultured, intelligent guy and people are criticizing her saying “that’s not her pattern”. Ugh.
Travis Scott has been attached to her hip and believe it or not, he is even worse than Chris B. Whether or not they’re dating doesn’t matter, if she says she looks for certain qualities and then allows a POS to be seen hanging around her neck and taking up her time, she is talking the talk but not walking the walk. Scott would not be a thing in her life (as a friend, lover or partner) if she lives by her own words and applies the standards she thinks she’s applying.
She seems to know what she wants and she recognizes what men can take from her yet she still responds back to a man who is not worthy of her in any way or shape.
Someone above said it’s similar to when men say they want a really intelligent cultured woman and then date the same bimbos again and again. Have to admit we have the female version of that here.
I know folks have to talk a good game in interviews and as someone not too invested in her dating life I don’t mind who or what, but she’s not walking the walk.
She’s right though. Whether outwardly or subtly, men love having their ego stroked. Finding a guy who can put you above his ego and himself is very rare.
A candid interview!
Her turn-ons: “I’m turned on by guys who are cultured. That’ll keep me intrigued. They don’t have to have a single degree, but they should speak other languages or know things about other parts of the world or history or certain artists or musicians. I like to be taught.”
So basically this modern and emancipated young woman is looking for a man to whom she can look up to from an inferior position.
Girl, if you want to be taught or if you want to speak other languages or if you want to know things about other parts of the world or history or certain … whatever, then
====>>>>>> GO GET AN EDUCATION <<<<<<<<<<<<===========
It doesn’t have to be college / university. Go read some books. Go do some courses at online colleges or something. Go pay for your own private teacher / lecturer.
It is not other people who are responsible for your education. At your age that is your own responsibility.
And no, modern and emancipated women don't look for a man who can teach them or to whom they can look up to. If you want to be taught then you want to be a pupil. A pupil is no the teachers true equal. In truth pupils are academically inferior to the teacher that is why the teacher is their teacher, speaking generally.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying culture.
But modern women look for somebody with whom they can enjoy these things as equal partners.
Let yourself be inspired by other people? – Yes.
Look for a partner who teaches you? – Pre-feminist attitude.
Honestly, I don't like Riri. From my point of view there is too much pretension and too much fake about her. My guess is that Riri tries to make herself appear more classy and more cultivated in order to get to keep her contracts with Dior.
@Pondering thoughts says it obvious you don’t like her. She wants a man who can teach her something so do i … and i am very well educated and guess a man who cant teach me anything is just not not attractive to me. Second Rihanna has travelled the world so it makes sense that she wants someone cultured. Third you sound uneducated yourself