When Guy Ritchie and Madonna started to fall apart in 2008, it became clear very quickly that there was no love lost. Both of them played to the media, and Guy “won.” You can blame sexism, you can say that Guy had a better publicist, you can say that everyone loves it when an important woman fails. Personally, I don’t care. I’m not a huge fan of either of them and I’m not going to act as an apologist for either of them. Guy ended up getting a large settlement from Madonna, and after all was said and done with their divorce, it didn’t seem like they had very much to do with each other. Madonna went on the record several times over the years about how miserable she felt during that marriage and she slammed Guy several times. Guy never really put his name on anything insulting towards her.
Skip ahead seven years and here we are. Madonna and Guy about to engage in yet another battle royale over the custodial arrangement of their 15-year-old son Rocco. From where I’m sitting, it very much seems like a redux of their divorce battle – both camps (Camp Madge and Camp Guy) are throwing out accusations in the media and salt is being poured into old wounds. Yesterday, TMZ seemed to get a leak from Camp Guy:
Guy Ritchie and 15-year-old Rocco have formed a united front, and plan to wage a custody war against Madonna … sources connected with Guy tell TMZ. Our sources say Rocco has not softened his position … he now wants to live with his dad. We’re told Rocco feels his mom is “too controlling” and doesn’t pay him any real attention. It’s now been a month since he left Madonna’s tour to live with his dad, and he feels more strongly than ever he wants to stay put.
We’re told Rocco, like his dad, feels home life in London is more stable and loving. It’s no longer just that Rocco doesn’t like touring with his mom … he says he just doesn’t want to live with her anymore. We’re told Guy has hired a lawyer to mount a legal fight.
As we reported, our Madonna sources say Guy has gotten in Rocco’s ear and is talking trash about her. The two have had a rocky co-parenting experience, often fighting. A New York judge has ordered Rocco back in the U.S. for a hearing in February.
The Madonna Apologists will say that this is Guy’s consistent M.O. over the years, to paint her as a control-freak who is out-of-touch with her own children, that she’s a workaholic who cares more about her tours than her children. The thing is… I actually believe that she is that person. I’m not saying Guy is a prince of a man, but just because this is coming from Guy’s camp, doesn’t mean it should be dismissed out of hand. Meanwhile, Us Weekly has an “exclusive” from Madonna’s camp.
“Madonna has been actively doing all she can to get her son Rocco Ritchie home and back to school in New York,” the source tells Us. A U.S. court judge has ruled that both Guy and Rocco must return to the U.S. in order to discuss future custody arrangements. The insider close to the situation further alleges that Ritchie is “interfering” with Rocco’s education. The teen currently attends high school in NYC.
“Rocco, along with Madonna’s other three children, have never been away from her for any extended period of time until daughter Lourdes went away to college last year,” the source continues. “Madonna, who lost her own mother at a very young age, has always made her children’s education a priority along with their well-being.”
According to the insider, this is the longest Rocco has ever been away from Madonna since she and Ritchie divorced after eight years of marriage in November 2008. “The only time the children have not been with Madonna was when her sons Rocco and David visit Ritchie in the U.K. as part of a custody order mutually agreed to eight years ago,” the source tells Us.
Um, they have schools in London? And earlier reporting on Rocco’s education claimed that he attended Lycée Français in New York, and there are Lycée Français schools all around the world, even in London (gasp!). I’m just saying… I doubt Guy Ritchie is all “Rocco never has to go to school again!” And where was Madonna’s concern for Rocco’s education when she was dragging him around the world on her Rebel Heart tour?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Never a good option, especially with a teenager.
Something I don’t talk about much; My almost 16 year old son moved in with his dad about a year ago. Yes, it broke my heart. Yes, I had to adjust. BUT it’s his dad and his dad stepped up, and I can’t ever battle that, you know? My son is choosing dad right now, after only me for so long. And I just have to let it be. That’s the fair thing to do.
I’m so sorry for your heartache, Little Darling. Someday, your son will thank you for allowing him to make this nearly impossible choice without feeling like a monster. You’re unselfish, brave and loving, and allowing him to do this without adding the threat of a breach in his relationship with you was kind and shows what a good mother you are.
That must have been terribly painful. Sometimes kids need one parent or the other for different periods of their lives. It’s noble of you to realize that and let him go. Your relationship with your son will be better off for it. 🙂
It takes an enormous heart to do that, cudos to you. Your son will come back to you later in life and thank you. Children are not possessions and we should never treat them like that.
You’re an amazing mother. I’m sure the two of you will have a great relatioship when he’s done growing up, even if might feels rocky now *hugs*
Luckily, it sounds like you are in the same town and can still participate in his life. My friend’s son moved out of state, and it changed the whole dynamic of watching her son grow up those last four years when it turns into long-distance visitation via plane trips, which she had another child at home to raise who had weekend activities, or holidays with him visiting and part of the summer..
LD – Echo the rest on you doing the best, most right and loving thing for your son – and for you and his dad. I did this too, but under much more straitened circumstances. I got married too young for the wrong reasons (afraid to stand on my own two feet, the only thing I knew about myself was that I wanted kids) to a guy who wouldn’t let me work and, when the kids were 2,4 and 7, divorced a guy who not only wouldn’t support me (he was really good at hiding money, and my choice was to spend all my time chasing him through the court system or turn myself into someone who didn’t need to – and I bet on me), but widely shared his conviction that I would crash and burn and celebrated how much he was looking forward to seeing it happen. I couldn’t get a job where we lived, and had to move 200 miles away. By then, he was remarried and they were living in a six-bedroom house with a nanny and a housekeeper in an area where there were lots of people who shared our culture and ethnicity. It didn’t seem a very loving thing to haul them out of that environment to live in a two-bedroom flat in a small town where they would be the only minority kids. My youngest moved up halfway through (you don’t want to know what she had to do to get out of that house) my three years there. Bottom line: It matters far less where they sleep than that they can count on you, that they know you care and are involved and doing everything you can to help them become decent adults. They’re grown now. The two younger ones, who were too young to be brainwashed by their dad, are doing amazingly well and we are very close. (My oldest is still working through things, but in the past year has realized the degree to which her her dad and, subsequently her dad and stepmother poisoned the well for us to have any kind of healthy relationship.)
Little Darling, it sounds like you are handling the situation in exactly the right way. If a child wants to try living with the other parent, especially a teen, I think it’s good to let them and to be supportive rather than combative. Telling them no would only make them more likely to dig in their heels and be more hesitant to admit if things don’t turn out to be what they expected. Being supportive and loving throughout, even if your heart is breaking, will allow them a way back to you relationship-wise and see you as a good and loving and supportive Mom no matter what!
I think Madonna fighting this and making demands is the absolute wrong way to handle it. While Madonna may be physically with her children, she may not be giving them the kind of attention or environment Rocco wants right now. At his father’s it’s a more traditional family setting because Guy is married and has young children, which are Rocco’s half=siblings. He gets to be a big brother to them and it was probably a really fun Christmas for him to be with them. He may want a more traditional Mom …not because he’s not a feminist or doesn’t believe in equal rights, or isn’t proud of him Mom, but sometimes kids just want that “normal” Mom who puts the spotlight on them and makes them scrambled eggs and toast and sits and talks without any hoopla…without HER issues overshadowing everything, or everyone fawning over her, or her work taking away all her attention, etc. I’m not slamming her or any working Mom, but kids sometimes want a certain type of comfort at times in their lives and based on things Rocco has said, it sounds like this is one of those times for him, and maybe Guy and his family are in a position to fill those needs better at the moment.
That doesn’t mean Rocco won’t feel completely different and want different things in 6 months, miss his Mom and suddenly want to be back in the midst of her crazy and chaotic life. I’m sure he will. But she needs to let him come back to her rather than force him I think. If this is what he thinks he wants and needs right now, she should simply be as supportive as possible. Talk to him and tell him that she loves him and she understands if he wants to stay with his Dad for a while but that she’s always there waiting for him and missing him. I think that would go a long way compared to demanding he return to her. Plus I think she needs to stop posting pics that embarass him and see him as an individual with feelings separate from “her child”. He’s a person and she needs to start respecting his feelings more.
I’ve thought often about what I would do if my son ever chooses to live exclusively with his dad. I hope I could be the big-enough person to allow him to do it, not to place my heartbreak over his needs. You have my very strong good thoughts for you.
You are a wonderful mom, and someday your son will realize that, if he hasn’t already.
Good for you. It takes a very loving person to really put someone else’s needs first. I hope your ex has also behaved as a bigger person (I’m guessing yes, since you said he stepped up) and is making sure you’re aware of events, inviting you to gatherings and ensuring your son is still making you a priority.
That’s what I don’t like in this Madonna/Guy situation. It sounds like they’re still making it about their squabble instead of focusing on Rocco – which also means standing up for the other parent’s involvement in their life. We’ve talked about this scenario a lot in our house as my SS is now 12 and what we would do if he decided to not split his time 50/50. Even if we wouldn’t get the same respect back, it’s important to who we are as a family that we would always be supportive of SS’s family and that includes having him respect his mom.
@littleDarling, that is so mature of you. Completely unselfish because as you said eventhough it hurt you, you agree because it was for him. Wow! To put aside your own feelings like that and think of your son’s feeling is pretty admirable.
You are one good mother, go girl
Maybe he is choosing is dad as a balance to you. Young men need father figures. It’s no reflection on your mothering that he needs some fathering.
My teenage stepkids chose to live with me and my husband a year or so ago. It was really difficult for their mom, but we managed to work out a custody arrangement that is best for the kids.
Hopefully Madonna and Guy will be able to do the same.
For some reason I’m team Guy on this. The kid wants to live with his father. Let him.
I think a kid has just as much right to live with Dad as Mom. The media is playing this up like it’s a war. It won’t be. At his age he can choose which parent to live with and the judge will just sign off on his decision. End of story.
Same here.
Even if Rocco is throwing a tantrum, she has to let him be. He’s going to be living with his father, still getting an education & having a home. He’s not going to be alone & in the streets, he’s going to be safe & she’ll know where he is. Her problem is that Madonna doesn’t like losing much less to Guy & I don’t think she understands that it’s not about her but about what Rocco wants. He wants a steady life, going to school in the same place, having friends & definitely not touring around or “working” on her tour.
My thoughts exactly. When I child lives most of their life with one parent it’s isn’t all that unusual for the child to crave wish to live w/the other parent for awhile. I don’t care for either Madonna or Richie but he boy is old enough to chose which household he wishes to reside.
I really don’t find either parent likable or sympathetic but i still think it’s clear that Rocco should stay in London. No one kid should be forced to go on a 3 or 4 city a week tour in order to massage their mothers’ ego.
Perfectly put. I am not a fan of either Madonna or Guy. But after 15 years with her, Rocco is well aware of what she’s about, or not about, as well as his dad, and he can choose. Being dragged around on a tour with a narcissist, her back up dancers and fawning minions would be laughable to any clear eyed, even slightly snarky teen.
My nephews love their moms but all three sort of gravitated toward their dads about ages 15-16 (divorce not involved, they just suddenly were all about their dads as young men approaching adulthood, I would assume).
Her “custody” fight seems absurd, an ego thing — this is not a 4 year old we’re talking about. Just a kid who wants stability, a regular chance to hang out with friends vs dancers and management, time with his dad, a schedule even. And yeah — there are pretty good schools in the UK, eh?
I agree. Forcing this issue through the courts is not going to help the situation at all and it will make Rocco resent her. I went through the same thing (except for touring). My dad was an airline pilot for Delta. The drawn out custody battle made me resent them both and it was more about revenge against each other than it was for the sake of the children. Rocco is old enough now to make his own choices (which I wasn’t during the custody battle part 1), and if he wants to live with his dad, he should be able to do so. He may want more stability than her touring affords; he may want to be with his London friends more (which is so important to teens for their social and emotional development). Madonna needs to respect his wishes and his boundaries for the sake of their relationship. The last thing that Rocco needs is a court battle, which will be traumatic whatever his age. I still bear resentment towards my mother for going to court again in my teens.
I am not a fan of either Guy or Madonna, but I feel for the kid.
Give it up, Madge. You’ve already lost. Dragging him home by court order sure ain’t the way to win this kid’s love and respect.
That’s what I was thinking. There’s no winning there, if she does succeed he’s going to loathe her for forcing him. She needs to start working on building an adult relationship with him.
This. In a nut shell.
You can both be good parents and your child can decide he prefers one of your styles to the other. Maybe Rocco has lots of friends in London and he’s lonely on tour, or maybe he needs his Dad right now. It doesn’t mean one is perfect and the other evil. My brother’s first wife abandoned my brother and his two year old son, then came back after six years and wanted custody. My brother adored his son and would have done anything in the world for him, but his son preferred to live with his mother. Part of it was that the clothes were always clean and pressed, dinner was always at the same time, etc. There was just more routine. I also think he was at an age where he needed his mother to reassure him that she loved him after she had just walked out. It nearly killed my brother, but he managed not to show that to his son because he didn’t want to punish him for having to make such a heartbreaking choice. That’s being a good parent, in my opinion.
Thanks for sharing that.
Absolutely. I’m sure it was hard and there was a lot of outside pressure for him to fight it too. But at the end of the day your brother knew that if his ex flaked out again, he would still be there to pick up the pieces for his son.
Madonna is a control freak. She can’t control what her children feel, and no amount of court time will change that.
Doesn’t anyone remember that her kids have to go to her personal assistant in order to schedule 15 minutes with her? To me that’s not motherhood – that’s running a corporation. Maybe Rocco wants a parent who is available and who is not relentlessly focused on an aging career.
That’s what I was going to say! I’ll never forget the 15-minute scheduling deal. What kid on earth would choose that? What adult would? Seriously, she’s not getting picked on because she’s a woman.
Aren’t you thinking of the Duggar momma and not Madonna?
Nope, it was Madonna. Google it and you can read all about it.
I think taking it to court is too much, BUT I will never be team Guy.
I’ll never be team Guy either. For all of Madonna’s perceived faults Guy is just as bad. They should both do what’s best for Rocco.
I’m team Rocco and as Rocco wants to stay with Guy, I’m team Guy on this one.
This isn’t about team Madonna or Team Guy – it’s about what works for the child at the time. This isn’t about who should “win” or who deserves the kid more.
He’s old enough to make the decision. Unless there’s a serious reason why he would not be safe or healthy living with his dad, I think they should respect his wishes.
agreed.
+1
I agree. I also think it’s sad they’re going to court because, as a few commenters mentioned on other threads, it’s setting up a precedent for them to be pit against each other. So then what happens if Rocco gets ticked off at Dad and decides he wants to be back with Madonna? How long will they take him back to get at the other instead of actually working together to parent?
This is about being team Rocco, bests interests of the child/teen.
But in saying that, at least Guy isn’t always in the news with his arse hanging out (for the wrong reasons), like Madonna was at ‘that’ party where she had to show her arse in that horrid outfit. We get it, Madonna exercises, she sticks to a rigid diet and is concerned about her looks, but do we have to constantly see her boobs and butt each time? It’s becoming a joke and in my view, it’s hardly a positive reflection on her or her parenting.
Rocco seems a normal teenager who can’t stand his mum in this moment, I’ve been there and done that, so this could be arranged privately otherwise this is going to be a mess totally out of proportion.
Kramer vs Kramer Madge edition.
I’m with Kaiser on this-I don’t think Guy Ritchie is an injured party and I don’t think Madonna is a monster. I think she has been pretty attentive to her kids.
But this kid is 15 and he is old enough to make this decision and dragging everyone to court to get your own way is a huge mistake. Whatever else Guy may be, he has always seemed to have a good relationship with all the kids, including her daughter. Possibly he is putting things in Rocco’s ear, which is a dick move to be sure, but forcing her kid to come back and live with her isn’t going to magically make him change his mind and only serves to reinforce the idea that she is controlling and will further damage their relationship. He’s only a few years away from not having to see either of them-wouldn’t she rather let him do this now so that they can keep a close, loving relationship that he will able to truly appreciate or does she want to shoot that down for the short term win of being able to stick it to her ex? Because fairly or unfairly, that is how he will remember it.
Team Guy
He’s old enough, the court will likely let him decide for himself. I had a friend whose daughter did this: fled and moved in with Dad. She launched a massive legal defense but it was pointless. In the end the judge just asked Her 15 year old daughter where she wanted to be.
He’s fifteen, he should be allowed to chose. It’s not a matter of one side or the other (they’re both massively flawed) it’s that there is no particular danger in either place. Both places are fine. If he’s in Lycee he can start up in London with little to no disruption. Both parents are “fine” so let the 15 year old choose. He might change his mind in six months too but for now? Let him be.
I thought it was a ‘thing’ that after around 12(?) as long as there was no good reason to prevent it, the child could decide which parent to live with.
I don’t know. The kids they’ve raised do seem loved, well-adjusted and educated, at least to me. I agree that Rocco’s choice should count, and I also don’t think that either part is a monster or whatever.
The best thing for Madge is just to step back and let her son be. Battling him and the dad will only make it worse.
Wait….if Guy gets Rocco, does he then go after more $$$$ from Madonna?
Being the custodial parent usually entitles you to more money, right? For child support, etc? I’ve never been in that position so I don’t know.
If so, then Guy, who wanted “nothing from Madonna”, but needed up taking away $90 Million could get STILL MORE?!?!?
He will get child support.
Child support, yes. So Guy told people he wanted nothing from Madonna, but needed up taking $90-$92 million of her fortune, will now get still more every month for the next 3 years.
Don’t doubt that he loves his son. But one does wonder at his motivation, at least in part.
Oh absolutely, but if it’s the son’s idea, and he is willing to give him a stable home life, money being a small part of the motivation isn’t the most evil thing in the world. As long as he’s going to give his son a good home life, and loves him, the money is kind of whatever to me. It’s just part of the court process.
I thought the divorce settlement was £10 + gagging clause. How did you get the $90 million figure?
He called Madonna retarded in his first interview. That’s pretty insulting.
Actually Madonna called Guy emotionally retarded. However, they both acted like children, throwing insults back and forth. Hopefully they will behave more maturely this time around. If Rocco wants to live with his father for a while the best thing Madonna can do is give him the freedom to do so, without a fight. It will benefit their relationship in the future.
well, seems I alone do not believe that 15 is old enough to decide where to live. I do think it’s an age to consider the thoughts and feelings, but the ultimate decision is to the parents, and if they can’t agree, then yes, court.
15 is not a legal adult for a reason. Long term consequences is still a developing part of the brain at age 15 (indeed, into your 20’s) so while what he thinks IS important, it should not be the ultimate deciding factor.
The issue is enforcement. With little kids, it’s not an issue. But Rocco is not a little kid: he’s within 3 years of adulthood. Rocco has already shown – at least twice – that he can, and will, run away. Teenagers like him, close to adulthood as he is… How do you MAKE him stay with his mother if he doesn’t want to? You can’t – and that’s the point. He’ll just keep running off, the fights get more intense… How is that better for him? the judge will likely let him choose if no other compromise can be reached.
the thing is, it doesn’t NEED to be a long term decision. She is making it into one. If she said “OK, you’re old enough to decide that, I’ll miss you but go live with your dad for a while” then who knows, in three months (or when her tour ends) he could decide he wants to come back to New York. That would be leaving his options open.
By making it a battle, she’s essentially shoving him into a corner and forcing him to defend his decision until there IS no way back. This custody battle is making this into an ‘until adulthood’ matter and it never needed to be.
Excellent point Amy! Thanks for the food for thought
An ex-bf of mine insisted on living with his dad when he was a teenager. His mom let him. He was back with his mom after a year with his alcoholic dad (who died of cirrhosis two years later).
Not saying that this is a similar situation, but that it’s a good idea to let them see that the grass isn’t always greener. And if Rocco is happier at his dad’s, it will also likely help his relationship with his mom in the long run.
Very good point. She is forcing it to be more permanent by going to court, when it might have been just a couple of months with Dad.
Anne, agree 100%.. if Madonna is on a world tour, will Rocco be alone attending school in NYC? doesn’t seem to make much sense to me other than a control grab. What is so wrong with letting her son stay with his father and attend school – same school sounds like – in a stable home environment instead of on the road during her world tour.
Madonna seems to have a perfectionist style – which is fine – but if she is 100% focused on her tour, why would she want to drag her kids along from city to city, country to country while they are young and still in school? Do they have tutors and nannies on the road while Madonna is busy practicing and doing her shows?
@ Anne de Vries
Very good point. She is forcing this situation into something that should not have to be permanent. If she were smart enough to look at it by a long-term perspective rather than what she wants for right now, she might be able to get what she wants in the long run.
The thing is – he’s not a 15 year old wanting to get an apartment to live on his own, or with friends. He’s a 15 year old wanting to live with his dad who has a ton of resources to support him.
I did some googling, apparently UK law generally uses 16 as a rule of thumb when they can choose where to live more or less -obviously depending on other factors as well. In Canada it’s 12 when the child’s wishes tend to really start to affect the decision. I’m not sure where the filings are, but honestly – he’s 15. His dad isn’t some kind of complete monster – both he and Madge have their pros and cons. But if he wants to live with his dad – she should almost have gotten ahead on it and let him stay there for at least the rest of the tour on a trial basis.
A 15 year old isn’t going to like having their mother FORCE them to live away from their dad if that’s where he wants to be. He’s not a child. He’s still young, and his decision making process isn’t as refined as an adult, but if there’s no real reason to prevent him from living with his dad, let him go for a while. I don’t believe a child “NEEDS” to have a mother and a father, but I understand why a teenaged boy might want a break from their mom when the mom is Madonna – performing, touring, prancing around in the kind of stage outfits a normal kid wouldn’t have to worry about their mom wearing.
It’s going to keep a better relationship with everyone, it’s going to let him realize for himself if it’s the best place for him, and it’s going to let him have more of a routine than traveling around with his mom. If I had had to travel constantly at 15 – I’d have been miserable – but the difference is that my parents are still married, and we’re not in an income bracket where we’d have had the luxury to let me stay at a home base if they had to travel.
15 is plenty old enough for many kids, not for others. The court typically does an assessment of the emotional maturity of the child, and psychologists or social workers may speak to that as well. When it comes to living arrangements, kids often have little trouble understanding what feels more comfortable and stable, and his age, he has a well established relationship with each of them, so there is little reason to force an arrangement that troubles the child.
I agree. My older son would, once in a blue moon, get so angry that he’d threaten to go live with his father. I’d call his bluff and say, “OK, get your stuff packed, we’ll head over.” And it never took long before he changed his mind – he was using it as a tool to try to get what he wanted. But his father, who loves him very much, is quite the partier – had already introduced him to moonshine when he was like 14 years old – and he couldn’t even get through a summer with him, calling me all the time to come get him. I believe legally he may have been able to make that choice, but honestly I think at that age adults need to be making the choice. None of us know the legit circumstances, but to say, “He should choose” hands-down … I think that’s a bit too much power to give to a – yes – child. What he feels is certainly important, but there needs to be some adult input.
Kids get dragged through divorces and parents get angry when the kids choose a parent to be with…grow up, adults.
You know, I think the kid just wants to stay in one place. 15 years old was the time for hanging out with my friends, doing nothing, all day, every day. You can’t do that on tour with your mom. I also think some of the photos and captions she had of him on instagram were cringe worthy and really overstepping some boundaries. I understand him wanting some distance.
There is no way that fighting this out in the courts and all this massive gossip commentary can improve this situation one bit. Minor children of celebs should off limits on the gossip blogs.
I also think that 15 is not old enough to make these kind of decisions. I remember when i was 15, i could not image being 20 or even 18, let alone think about long term planning and what effect my actions had. For a 15 year old the only thing that exist is the here and now and how to fulfill your immediate wants.
I don’t think Madonna is handling the situation correctly, but i also don’t think she went to the court solely to get Rocco back to NY. I never understood how the lawyers of Guy ended up with Rocco’s passport or when this has happened and i think Madonna going to court has more to do with getting the passport back (and thereby Rocco), than solely getting Rocco by her side again.
It is messed up for sure and has consequences for the entire family, not just these three. Sad.
Yeah but the thing is, it doesn’t NEED to be a long term decision. She is making it into one. If she said “OK, you’re old enough to decide that, I’ll miss you but go live with your dad for a while” then who knows, in three months (or when her tour ends) he could decide he wants to come back to New York. That would be leaving his options open.
By making it a battle, she’s essentially shoving him into a corner and forcing him to defend his decision until there IS no way back. This custody battle is making this into an ‘until adulthood’ matter and it never needed to be.
I pretty much said this above, but it’s not like he’s a 15 year old who’s asking to move away to a boarding school or to move in with his buddies. He’s asking to live with his dad – hell, she could have even said “live with him during the school year, but I really want you to spend summers and school breaks with me”.
At 15, routine is still a great thing to have. And by the sounds, he’d have that with his dad. I’m not saying he’s a better parent, or that he deserves custody over Madge, per se, but if the kid would really be happy living with his dad, and his dad’s happy to take him, I don’t see why it’s that much of an issue. I think some of the reaction this story is getting is because it evokes an emotional response. Nobody wants to think that their kids won’t spend their youth with them. Nobody wants to say goodbye to their kids – but the woman isn’t like you and me. Madonna could honestly afford to visit him every single weekend if she wanted to – she could probably stay in London for at least a short period at a time when her tour wraps. She’s not losing her child, she’s just letting him stay with his dad. It sucks, and it’s always going to suck. But there’s a certain point where you need to let your kids make some of those calls on their own as long as there’s no worry about his wellbeing. She’s just going to alienate him – he’s going to see it as her keeping him from his dad, even if she really does have the best intentions in mind.
Rocco has his own lawyer, and Rocco asked his lawyer to hold his passport. I can understand why. Hurricane Madonna wants to drag him unwillingly back to New York. Having the lawyer hold the passport will be an obstacle to anything she might be planning. She really has escalated this alarmingly. Rocco knows her better than we do, and he undoubtedly feels there is reason to be cautious.
Madonna needs to chill. She’s making this into a power struggle that is unnecessary. 15 year old wants to live with his dad. That should be the end of it. Countless other families deal with this daily, it’s not unusual for a teenager to shift to a different parent’s home. Go with the flow, Madonna. He’s not going to join the Mars colony! Let him have some space, he used to like being with you and he will again if you don’t blow it.
The only winners in this one is the lawyers. Just let him be, regroup and figure things out. From my own experience, teenagers can be impulsive, moody and sometimes get sick of their parents. The tide will pass.
I thought the same thing. There’s really no place to go from “come home, or else.” Of course the kid is going to dig in.
I remain perplexed. What is the point of a custody battle when the child is 15? He cannot be forced to live with the parent he doesn’t want to live with. He’s 15. Are Madonna and Guy so rich that they are compelled to force attorneys to take their money?! They could just open their windows and throw fists full of cash out into the streets. That would have the same bearing on where Rocco ends up living.
I really think this is Madonn flexing her belief in her power and influence. Her kid doesn’t want to live with her right now and by God, she’s Madonna and she is not having it! She gets her way most of the time. What surprises me is that 1) she cannot see for herself that trying to force her son to live with her is a terrible idea and that this conflict and resentment will affect their relationship for years to come, and 2) that a lawyer would even bother with this case. But they’ll take the cash. In the end, Rocco is old enough to decide for himself.
The thing is if Madonna hires attorneys, it leaves the other side with little option but to do the same in return. At the end of the day the English legal system is not going to bow down to Madonna’s wants.
Team Rocco. I don’t think a 15-year-old kid should be forced to live the tour life, rife with second-hand embarrassment, if he doesn’t want to. Let him live with his dad for a while and get a break.
I don’t think he was forced to. In fact, he worked on the tour as a dj or something and was getting paid. So at first he may have been enjoying it but perhaps got sick of it or his mom.
Sometimes its best for a son to be with his father to learn to become a man. There are some things a woman cannot do.
There should have been some sort of arrangement in place for Rocco to stay with his dad while his mother is touring. What 15 year old boy would want that mess in his face for months at a time. He can just as easily attend school in England as NYC. His mother’s gone for weeks and months on end, so what difference does it make?
I think it was a mistake for Madonna to involve the court to the extent of trying to force the kid to come back to the U.S. On a good day she comes off spiteful and aloof, and that didn’t do her any favors.
But then, she always struck me as the type of person who’d bring a bazooka to a pocket knife tiff – as long as she wins. I get the feeling this is less a case of “I want you to live with me” and more “I don’t want you to live with HIM.”
Kaiser, totally agree.
Rocco can go to school in London, so if that’s Madonna’s worry, then all she has to do is let Guy have primary custody.
Big deal if a teenage boy wants to live with his dad. Where is it written that all children must live with their mother no matter what?
And it’s not like Rocco is living with irresponsible people who have no experience raising children and who don’t believe in schooling.
The more Madonna fights this out in court and in the media, including social media, and tries to force Rocco whose old enough to make this kind of decision for himself, the more she proves the rumors about her over-the-top control issues.
At least Rocco has a father and another home to go to. I feel bad for the adopted children. They too may be fed up with Madonna and her “tour” life but they have no one to turn to.
David is Madonna and Guy’s child. Mercy is Madonna’s daughter.
Nobody, but NOBODY tells Madonna what to do. Ever. She pulls All The Strings. And if someone stands up to her I can’t begin to imagine the vituperative sh*t she will unleash because she thinks only of herself and her carefully contrived image, no matter who she’s dealing with. I’m not saying she doesn’t love her kids but that love comes at a huge price. I think it’s best that Rocco get out of her orbit for a while because living with her is never going to be a normal life. It would be like living with a dark hole of narcissism and control-freakishness hovering over you at all times.
There are so many good comments here and I’m likely repeating some points, but here goes:
To the point about Guy getting child support: if he were a woman that point would never have been brought up.
To the point of Rocco having his own lawyer and the lawyer holding R’s passport: smart young man!
To the point of Team M or Team G: I’m neither. I just think it’s sad when two parents can’t put their personal animosity and control issues about the other aside for the sake of their child. From her history, I think Madonna is likely more guilty of this than Guy. If Rocco wants to live with his dad, let him try it out. Maybe he’d like more stability than touring. Then he can try out for soccer/football, have solid friendships over longer periods, and frankly, spend more time with the male figure in his life, in this case his dad. Let Rocco spend some time living with his dad.
Children are not furniture or even pets. They are human beings for whom being uprooted and exchanged has consequences. Court battles over custody, especially when a young man who is nearly the age of consent has expressed his desires, is not going to help anyone. Rocco might get to live with Guy, but Mama ain’t gonna be happy, and when a Mama like Madonna ain’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy.
Both parents need to grow up.
But its wrong that Guy never said anything bad about Madonna. Hes no better than her.
I don’t want to take sides on this but I am confused on why there is going to be a court battle. Isn’t Rocco old enough to decide where he wants to live? I thought once a child got to a certain age, the child could decide for themselves where they want to live without custody battles. I don’t have kids so I could be off on that.
Yeah, if he was 5, but he’s 15. What custody battle?
In other jurisdictions this doesn’t fly and what else can Madonna do if he is refusing to return to the US? There is nothing that a US court can do to compel him to return. He’s not a criminal who is subject to an extradition treaty, he’s a teenager who has clearly expressed that he doesn’t want to live with his mother and he is old enough to express that (in some jurisdictions).
Once again, everything is about Madonna.
How vain and self-centered Madonna is. What a loser.
Doesn’t her faith tell her to be kind to her son and not treat him like she owns him?
Nothing her public relations people can do will repair this grasping image she has drawn for herself. She is just about the worst old has been out there — seems to me.
best advice i ever got (from my own mother) was this – your children are not “yours”. they are on loan to you, and will leave you eventually. be prepared for how much it will hurt, even if its on good terms, because maintaining the relationship is more important than always proving you’re right. wise woman. 🙂
When my parents divorced i was 6. however the judge put a decree into the custody agreement that when i was 13, if i was unsatisfied i could take my parents ot court and sort out what was best for me. rather than that ever happening my parents respected me and let me choose where i wanted to be and when once I hit that age. I moved out of my mom’s house completely when I was 16 and lived with my dad exclusively. It was the best thing for us all.
If Madonna truly had her son’s best interests at heart I think she would listen to what he wants and needs and help work with it rather than force him back to where he’s obviously so unhappy. I know I’m super lucky with my parents divorced-to this day they have never said a bad thing about the other in my presence, and have defended each other to outside sources. What happened between them was between them, and they have never let it affect me or my relationship with the other. I wish more parents could do that for their children.
What I NEVER understood about their marriage was: It was widely documented prior to the marriage that Guy would ONLY marry Madonna if there was NO prenuptial agreement. Now I am not the cleverest person in the world, but I smelt a rat upon hearing the no prenuptial agreement no marriage.
If Guy had genuinely loved Madonna and didn’t marry her for a big payday, he would have signed a prenuptial agreement happily.
I cannot see why anyone could not see a divorce on the horizon with such an ultimatum that direct and that specific.
I can only imagine human fallibility to blame on Madonna’s part. Shows how insecure Madonna was & is.
I feel for ALL of the children involved. How must it All feel?
Madonna just wants to win, or she thinks she is the better parent, but Rocco is 15 and wants to live with dad. Not smart of Madonna to go to court. Rocco should win this.
Where was Guy’s paternal drive when Rocco was 8 at the time of the divorce? Why wasn’t he ready to go to court for Rocco then? Wait, he was too busy going to court over millions he didn’t want at the time.
The idea of a boy needing his father sounds just as appealing for an 8 year old as a 15 year old. There’s a way to do everything. If he was concerned about Rocco’s best interest, this should have been up for discussion prior to Rocco making a decision to move from his mom.
I hope this really is about Rocco’s best interest. And for pete’s sake, the level of wealth of both parents is beyond what’s needed to rear a child. Not sure if he pays support currently, but do either of them need child support to really give Rocco the life a kid of his parents economic status usually has?
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