The Guardian got me. The British paper pulled an April Fool’s Day prank and they got me. I really, really thought their “exclusive” royal report was for real, and I was even in the midst of writing it up before it occurred to me that this was an April Fool’s Day prank. You can read their hilariously trolling piece here.
The gist? For more than a month, the British papers have been going HAM on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. For the most part, the royal stories have been a sideshow to the larger political conversation in the UK, which is about “Brexit.” Brexit = the British exit from the European Union. The vote isn’t until June, and it’s one of the big political stories in Britain. So… the Guardian suggested that there was a conspiratorial connection between the political Brexit story and the gossip stories about “Work-Shy Will” and the “Duchess of Do-Little.” According to the Guardian’s prank, the royals believe there’s a connection. I should note that they’re actually basing this in reality: one of turning points for William was his vague speech back in February which many interpreted as “William speaks out against Brexit.” There were also stories last month in which real “sources” claimed the Queen is pro-Brexit. So, the Guardian slyly claims that the royal family thinks there’s a conspiracy afoot, and they plan on saying something about it.
The royal family is seriously considering making a dramatic intervention in the referendum debate with an announcement that it supports Britain remaining inside the European Union. That the royals are prepared to risk provoking a potential constitutional crisis shows just how deep their anger is at parts of the British press and senior politicians.
According to a senior source close to official figures, there was particular resentment at the Sun’s newspaper’s depiction of the Queen as a Brexit supporter. But the anger runs through the generations at Buckingham Palace: there was fury at the claims about “workshy” Prince William, a campaign mounted by two papers with an anti-EU stance, the Daily Mail and the Sun. And there was a feeling last week that rock bottom had been hit with a story in the Mail that Kate was now posher than the other royals.
Another well-connected source explained that the royals now see a tightening conspiracy between the pro-exit papers, notably the Sun, Telegraph and Mail, and certain politicians. “The leader of Vote Leave is Michael Gove – that awful little leaker who put it about that the Queen wanted out. They can’t stand him. And as for Boris, the other main outer – he’s a cycling maniac from Islington. All he has done for the royal family is make it difficult to get around London in a decent-sized Daimler. And the third of the trio – Farage – what another awful little man.”
Part of the reason for stepping into the debate in such an unprecedented way is huge disappointment in the prime minister, David Cameron.
“The feeling is that we can’t leave it to him. Look what happened at the last referendum we had, on Scotland. We nearly lost Balmoral and the shoots. Nicola Sturgeon could be sat in that castle now – we know she had her eye on it – it was a damn close-run thing.”
Royal circles found particularly offensive Cameron’s portrayal of the Queen as having “purred down the line” when he telephoned her to tell her Scotland had voted against independence. “The cheek of the man. There was real fury about that comment. And the irony of it – coming from a fat cat,” said a source.
The whole piece is rich with irony, and they claim that the Palace is going to send Prince Philip out on his 95th birthday in June, possibly to tell Ant & Dec that Britain should stay in the EU. So… yeah, I’m dumb. I honestly thought this was real for a solid hour this morning. While my glee soured to disappointment with the realization that it was a prank, I still have to tip my hat to the Guardian. This is a brilliantly written piece of satire. Well done!
Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, WENN.
I love the Guardian. I love the EU. I dislike the Royals. This article is perfection.
I’ll repeat my favourite bit: “Harry’s strong favourites Ant and Dec… particularly appealing to “people in the north with accents””. I dropped down dead laughing at that and have only just reanimated now! (American readers: Ant and Dec have Geordie accents. Not posh.)
It was seriously good. They got in, I think, 97.5% of the digs we’ve all been making on here, and it was seamless.
PS: “Remaining questions of strategy are being resolved by an inner circle at the palace.”
That’s #poorjason in some weird yoga position, right?
Sirsasana. He’s standing on his head.
Yes Jason has renamed the BRF internal think tank, The Way Forward, to The Way Backward. It consists of William, Jason, Lupo, and Fox Mulder (Trust No One). They are served cheese on toast nightly by Carole while watching TOWIE, playing with toy helicopters, and throwing darts at a BRF family tree to choose which person to throw under the bus next.
lilacflowers, I like that! What else might he be doing?
Eagle pose, Garudasana, where you are completely tied up
Pigeon Pose, Kapotasana, where you have bent over so far backwards, you are almost forwards again
And Half Lord of the Fishes twist, where his body is facing William but his head and upper body are twisted towards the Exit.
@Sixer, you got me laughing with Jason in the yoga position!
I have to admit, most of the piece went over my head, because I haven’t been paying a whole lot of attention to the Brexit issue, but even I could tell that it was brilliantly written.
I think we should crowdfund a documentary:
William: The Way Backward (a study by #poorjason standing on his head)
@sixer
Backwards implies there is actual movement and momentum (even backwards). I feel William: A Study of the Void encompasses the complete lack of: charisma, passion, hair, and motivation he currently embodies.
William: Decline Into Entropy (a study by #poorjason, for whom even yoga is not enough)?
If I were poor Jason, I’d be on hard drugs by now.
Lmao that was my favorite part too! Completely hysterical.
Yes – it got quite a few people in my office as well. LOL. But in all seriousness, it was just another excuse to have a dig at the DoLittles under the guise of a prank.
Again, The Guardian shows how trolling it done. Take notes DM.
PS i loved this quote as well: ‘And as for Boris, the other main outer – he’s a cycling maniac from Islington. All he has done for the royal family is make it difficult to get around London in a decent-sized Daimler.’
It was the Daimler reference which finally got me; up until then (and the Ant and Dec mention) I genuinely believed it was legit.
Well played, Guardian *golf clap*
I told my husband I was with child on April Fools Day. He had a good yuck but I really was. Thought it was an appropriate day to fill him in. In re to the story above, yeah, funny…they’re so droll.
I remember a classmate in High School told her mother that she was pregnant as an April Fool’s joke. Then about three or four months later, she had to tell her for real.
Talk about foreshadowing.
MsGoblin: Self-fulfilling prophecies….hate them. The second time around had to be so hard considering the first. Hope things turned out well for her. I guess some teenagers really don’t use protection or think they just won’t pregnant get std’s or worse. Been happening since the beginning of time, hopefully one day kids will consider the consequences of their lust.
Love the top picture of HM wearing her best “we are not amused” expression.
Now that was really good, do you think that William lost more hair reading the “prank” article or did he went on a “trip” back to South Africa to cry with his rich friends?
It was heaven. 🙂
I loved the DM’s April Fools story. Olivia Coleman as the New James Bond.
If only it were true – she’d be amazing!!!
*claps hands*. I wish my snark was just as good!
I love that last photo! Very appropriate given the tone of this article.
And this is how I had to find out that Prince Philip and I share our birthday? Really?
I think they could have done better with this. Felt pretty tame and boring. The Onion could kill a satirical piece on this family.
I knew it was satire as soon as I read it, but it was pretty funny.
The Guardian are pro a republic aren’t they so anything negative re the royals turned into satire ‘tongue in cheek spin off ‘of stories in the mail that refer to a bit of public gossip is ripe for an April the 1st spoof! It also gives guardian readers who would not read the daily mail an update on what has been occurring in the pro camp.