Last year, I became absorbed in the messy B-list divorce shenanigans of Stephanie March and Bobby Flay. Flay and March had been married for ten years, and they fought hard and they fought dirty over the money. At the end of the day, March and her take-no-prisoners team got a generous settlement (I believe) in exchange for a non-disclosure agreement. During the very messy back-and-forth in the press, we learned from Team Flay that March wanted more money from Flay because she had health issues resulting from a “bad boob job.” That story made March seem superficial, and she apparently still feels stung by the story. So much so that she wrote an essay for Refinery 29 detailing this bad boob job and why she decided to go under the knife. You can read the full piece here. Here’s an excerpt:
Before I go any further, I want to say clearly and truly that I have no problem with plastic surgery. None whatsoever. It’s a private matter. It’s nobody’s business. It often turns out just fine. And I fully anticipate my revisiting it in the years to come, if I’m being honest.
But I now know that my decision to have a breast augmentation in 2014 was the wrong decision, for so many reasons. I was 39 years old, and my life was disintegrating. Couldn’t get a job I wanted on camera, couldn’t get attention for my production projects, couldn’t travel the world far enough or fast enough or immerse myself in philanthropy enough to make it all go away. It was like watching a glacier cleave into giant chunks: massive and seemingly well beyond my control. See, the other thing that was happening was that my marriage of nearly 10 years (and 14 together) was falling apart. And nothing, nothing was helping me cope. Not therapy, not patience, not wine-soaked dinners with friends where I “got it all out.” Great spidery cracks widened over time. Boom. Boom. Boom.
I could not fix it — any of it. My job. My relationship. My life. Not a damn thing. But not being one to sit on a problem, I decided to try one last thing. And what I did next was exactly what you are not supposed to do when it comes to plastic surgery. I decided to change my body because I couldn’t change my life. The previous health issues and surgeries had left their mark, and I was down about 15 pounds. Down and sad and tired. You know what doesn’t look so great when that happens? Your breasts. Let me tell you a little something about nice breasts. If you have the time and the money, you can buy them. How remarkable is that? Thanks, Science! Bingo. That’s what I was going to do. Get a little boost.
In retrospect, there were signals that this might not be the right path for me. Every implant I tried on seemed alien, too large. I didn’t feel ready to throw away my pretty bras. I worried that I’d look top-heavy. But I ignored the signs and soldiered on.
So, long story short, she got the implants in August 2014, she followed medical advice and for five weeks, she looked amazing. And then in October 2014, she woke up and “felt a sickening wet mucus sliding down my chest.” Her right implant was infected and she had to spend six weeks on a hardcore course of antibiotics. Then she had the implant put back in, then it got infected again and ruptured on Christmas Eve. After that, she came to the conclusion that her body was simply rejecting the implants and that she just need to stop. It was April 2015 before she came to that conclusion though, and it came just as Flay filed for divorce and everything was a mess. She ended up having additional surgeries, but mostly to correct all of the damage she had done to her breasts over the previous year.
She also says that she’s not ashamed, and she shouldn’t be. I’m glad that she’s so honest about what she was going through, and I can understand how she was looking 40 in the face and she wasn’t happy with her life and she started thinking, “maybe new boobs would help.” It happens all the time. If any woman wants to get some plastic surgery or a boob job or whatever little nip and tuck, God bless. All I ask is that you don’t wrap it up in some narrative about how you’re all-natural and untouched by a surgeon’s scalpel.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Ugh, what an experience! I hope she stops tinkering with her face now, too — doesn’t need it.
After having just spent three unexpected, painful days in the hospital, the words “elective procedure” do not make sense to me.
To seek out surgery and recovery and all the risks … it’s not wrong but it sure seems dumb. There are real medical reasons for having your face or breasts cut open and made different. As an elective procedure, truly I don’t understand why any man or acting job or approving glance in the mirror is worth the pain and risk.
+1 I agree with this. Women are entitled to do whatever they want with their bodies, but I’ve never been able to wrap my head around this particular procedure (outside of reconstruction).
I had breast cancer and now my right breast is half a size smaller than left one. I had a hysterectomy last May, and was in the hospital for five days, then re-hospitalized for two days. Right after that, I wouldn’t have considered reconstructive surgery, either, but I am now, not even a year later. It bothers me. If I wear a wrap dress or certain kind of blouse, I can tell I’m lopsided and it makes me self conscious. Plus, I’m very busty so it would be nice to have both breasts reduced a little so I could wear shirts that buttoned down the front without that little gap appearing. I’m actually excited about it. My point is, the intensity of your recent experience will fade from your mind, sort of like childbirth? I hope you are well now.
Congratulations on being a survivor. And yes, you should definitely consider breast reduction. I’m busty, too, and would love to have a reduction but not for looks (well, that too but not primarily). I’m tired of having people look at my chest. I’m tired of clothes that don’t fit. I’m tired of carrying them around. I think the physical discomfort of big breasts is a fine reason for reduction and in my mind is a completely different thing than having alien chemicals inserted in your body just so you can claim big breasts.
I’m naturally lopsided – still not sure I would have surgery tho. So much can go wrong. I have had relatives that have gone through horrible operations and have taken ages to recover from them.
If it makes you feel any better, Goodnames, mine have always had a full size cup difference between them (36DD and 36D) and I didn’t have breast cancer to blame. :p I’m mostly okay with it, but yeah…the lopsidedness gets to me sometimes. Even working in a hospital, knowing the risks, seeing the complications, having the knowledge to know better…sometimes I have moments where I go, “I wish I had the money to reduce the one or boost the other one with fat injections.” That’s why I don’t judge women for doing it. In a world full of glossy magazine spreads with perfectly photoshopped models, in a society that values women for their looks above all else, who can blame women for feeling self-conscious?
GNAT, I think breast reduction to make both breasts the same size is a great idea.
Can relate to Stephanie’s story. During my divorce, I decided to get breast implants…they were gorgeous, but after thirteen years, I grew tired of them and also grew tired of boobs that were way too big for my body. I missed my nearly flat chest that fit my body (as Stephanie mentioned), so talked to my original doctor about having the implants removed. He talked me out of it and I only agreed if he would use the smallest implants available. He talked me out of that. I was adamant about not being large breasted. I sent him letter after letter telling him I wanted small breasts.
On the morning of my surgery, after I was already under anesthesia, in the presence of my mother and father, he came out to see me right before the surgery and gleefully told me had added 50ccs to each implant.
I have wanted to kill that doctor ever since. I HATE MY IMPLANTS, and they are TOO BIG for me. I don’t want them, but I’m afraid of going under anesthesia again, because I’ve had two operations in the past six years and know there’s a risk. I despise having foreign objects in my body.
@JudyK: omg. that makes me really upset. what that doctor did was so clearly unethical. there should be consequences. he completely disregarded your wishes concerning YOUR body.
@JudyK-That is…wow. That’s a lawsuit right there.
@GNAT-I’m sure your boobies are lovely but if you think a reduction would make you feel better then you should go for it.
@JudyK he can’t just do that. That is so shady.
@JudyK Horrifying. This man violated your trust when you were at your most vulnerable, and he needs to have his license revoked!
If it’s not too late (the statute of limitations may have run), you have a slam dunk lawsuit. What he did was battery. But if you don’t go the lawsuit route, at least report this sorry excuse for a doctor to the relevant medical association!
@ JudyK
I’m sorry that happens to you.
Sadly this type of thing is not uncommon. My moms friend who was a H Cup went to get a breast reduction because of back problems. She wanted to be a C cup, but her male doctor whated her so be larger she told him over and over what she wanted. After her surgery he had only reduced her to a DD and when researching she found out that many women have the same problems with male doctors.
Best wishes to you GNAT.
Good for you GNAT! I too had a brush with breast cancer and had a tumour removed that left me lop-sided. As a big busted girl too, I finally decided to have a reduction and “evening-up” and boy was it a smart thing to do. I can now fit into bathing suits, I don’t have to buy jackets 2 sizes larger to fit my matronly bosom and I don’t have guys staring at my chest like they’d never seen boobs before. Plus it only involved a few days of mild discomfort – I didn’t even need pain relievers. I was never so happy to go from an E cup to a generous C. No more back pain, no more not being able to exercise comfortably, no more hydraulic uplift bras, no more rashes beneath my bra like. All good!
JudyK, that is so upsetting!!!!! What an ethics violation!
You would be amazed how common your story is, Judyk. I have a coworker with implants who told me she got into it with her doctor because he gave her DDs after she was very adamant that she only wanted a C cup. His counter was that “he wanted to make sure she actually got what she wanted.” 9_9 I’ve heard stories of the same going down with breast cancer survivors, of all things. It’s just mind blowing to me as a pre-med that a doctor (always male in these stories) thinks it’s acceptable to override their patient’s choices about their body.
@Judy – Just to give you a little insider knowledge here, in many cases it will be a Game Day Decision on the operating table exactly what size implant to go with. Sometimes the surgeon will get the agreed-upon size in and it doesn’t look right or would require extensive (and sometimes painful) revision to the pockets to make it look right. 50cc’s is about 3 1/3 tablespoons, I think, and you definitely shouldn’t have wound up crazy far from what you wanted to look like. No shame in seeking a second opinion if you’re unhappy!
Thanks to all who responded to me. The Statute of Limitations has expired and another problem is that I moved and can’t find the medical records and can’t remember the doctor’s name, even though he did both breast implants on me. The surgery was done in Edmond, Oklahoma, and I lived in Tulsa at the time. It’s so odd, because my mother couldn’t remember his name, either. I should have investigated further, but life got in the way…I had to find a job and that job consumed my life, on and on w/ excuses on my part…it’s too late now, and I’m sure the surgeon is dead by now. I’m kicking myself for not having remedied the situation when I could have.
I was ready to jump down her throat after the first half of the quote above because my immediate reaction was “Oh boohooo so there are ups and downs in life and instead of having a bit more patience you decide willy-nilly to get you boobs done? Champagne problems my friend.” But that’s unfair. We all make dumb decisions when our life seems to just NOT go well and especially when it happens all at once. I don’t have the money for truly big decisions like this one but who knows what I’d do. Not right now but there have been times.
As for surgery, I get it. The thought terrifies me but even I am not opposed to the thought of boob lift. You’re optimistic and you never anticipate that you could be one of those horror stories.
for me it’s not the lift (I can totally see that), it’s placing foreign objects inside one’s body for the purpose of enlarging breasts (again, not talking about reconstruction). But I also think small breasts are lovely! Big ones don’t tend to age well and they make your back hurt.
Exactly.
I want to judge but I know how easy it is to turn to “fixable” problems like our appearance when things outside of our control are going haywire.
Hell that’s how I ended up with an ED. No shade at all.
I also give her more of a pass for what seemed a bit of an impulsive fix-it decision because of the industry she works in. She wasn’t getting the job offers and in Hollywood, unfortunately, larger breasts actually might get you more job offers. Plastic surgery wouldn’t help me in my job at all, so if I did it, it would be less understandable. But she’s going up against younger, bustier women and as horrid as it sounds, part of the competition is about their bodies. I’m so glad I’m not in that industry. It would destroy my confidence.
Kitten – me too! It felt like the only thing I could control was what I put into my mouth.
I got married, and one way he shows his love by feeding me. I was 10 lbs underweight when we met, then gained 18 lbs. I was uneasy at that weight, and have recently gotten back to down to the lowest possible healthy weight according to my age and frame size. But I can feel that old pull to just keep going… damn.
Breast reduction is what I had and it was well worth it. I would not be interested in anything else at this time.
My boyfriend is a plastic surgeon and I assure you, none of his patients are “dumb”. People with no medical expertise don’t understand how something that may look like a cosmetic problem to them may actually be causing physical pain. As for someone choosing to enhance their looks for looks sake…well, the world isn’t especially kind to women, now is it? To anyone who wants to go out into the world feeling a little more confident, I say more power to you.
I’m so glad you are well now. I understand completely how you must feel. OTOH, as GNAT said, the experience will fade from your mind, like mine did. I had to have a pituitary adenoma removed (brain surgery!) 20 years ago, and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks with complications. At the time, the thought of undergoing any more surgeries terrified me. But 10 years later, it was a different story.
What a horrible ordeal. Applause for her honesty in sharing that experience.
It does sound horrible. I think she’s done a public service by discussing her experience.
I’m a 32A and although it would be nice to have a bit larger boobage (32B), I have never entertained the idea of adding something foreign to my body. It just scares me. But to each their own. I’ve always thought that Angelina Jolie put implants that were too large for her frame after her mastectomy.
GNAT, glad to hear you are a survivor. Reduction for symmetry does sound like a good option for you. Better than an implant on the small one, I would think.
I’ll be honest. I really want a nose job and a breast lift. The reason I want those? To feel attractive. I am a smart, well-educated woman, but I see the way pretty woman are treated and gosh, I truly want to experience that. I know people are going to disagree with me on here, but it’s honestly how I feel.
I don’t disagree with you about wanting to feel attractive. I think most people want that, don’t they? I would just caution you a little about wanting to be valued for your looks when you have so much else to offer. Don’t forget about those things or undervalue them. But it’s your body and your choice.
Agree with GNAT. Plus, sometimes surgeries don’t really “fix” how you look, so you feel just as bad, but not quite like you, and some people go down the plastic surgery wormhole. Look at Olivia Munn – gorgeous woman who keeps altering herself. Or that blonde lady who was famous for the Hills.
Fix your insides first.
But you’ll age and then go back to the back of the line again so what’s the point?
My coworker who was a beautiful vibrant Latina about 60 years old had a total overhaul in Mexico. I thought she was visiting family but she never returned to work. When she visited us she had an M J nosejob and walked very carefully. Come to find out she had multiple surgeries that did not go well. I was 31 and swore I would age naturally and gracefully after seeing what had happened to a perfectly attractive and perky lady. It was one of the saddest things that her cheerful demeanour had dulled, she had lost tens of thousands plus not able to work anymore, and you could tell she hated her new look. Be happy with what you have or be very careful with what doctors do the job!
If you do decide to get under the knife, choose the best possible surgeon: that makes all the difference! This is not something to be thrifty about. Wish you all the best!!
Excellent advice. Interview several at that.
i totally get it. my nose looks always a bit crooked to me and the boobs used to be perkier. but then again the second i hear something about mucus sliding down the chest, i reconsider. there are too many stories about botched surgery, infection etc. i guess i’ll have to suck it up, think of the women i admire for their charisma and not their nose and try to keep my vanity in check.
and in my experience it’s totally true that you can’t change the way you see yourself by altering the outside, it always has to come from within. when i was a bit pudgier for a while i hated myself and would always make up these scenarios, that if i was skinny, i would do this and feel that way and not be insecure. i got skinny and i found myself standing there like “so you happy now?” total fail. didn’t deliver happiness at all. it has to come from within.
At the risk of sounding like Jessica Biel, I just want to say that being attractive isn’t all roses. I have a conventionally pretty face and a figure many men find attractive (though I’m sure many women would call me fat). In some ways, it’s awesome. Men pay attention to you, women compliment you, and you are more likely to be assumed to be a good person based on the Rules of Disney.
I’m sure that’s what you see and desire. What you may not see is the men who only pretend to listen to you and like you for your brain. As an intelligent lady, I can’t tell you the let down it is to realize the stimulating, intellectual conversation you thought you were having was really just a facade to try and get into your pants. It sucks. You run the risk of not being taken seriously, being a woman and a decorative woman at that, you are already fulfilling your purpose so why are you even talking? I’ve experienced this, more frequently than I care to think about, and it sucks.
To be valued for your looks reduces you to the level of an ornament. What happens when an ornament gets faded and scratched? It’s thrown away and a new one is found to take its place. There will always, ALWAYS be someone prettier than you, and you will most definitely still feel inadequate beside them.
In the end it’s totally up to you and it’s your decision. Just be aware that it’s not going to solve any deeper issues. The attention is superficial and fleeting. If you feel inferior now, you will still feel inferior after surgery because again, there is always a prettier girl who will outshine you in ways you could never achieve. At least, that will be your perception. That’s what leads so many women down the plastic surgery rabbit hole. You quite literally will never be good enough, never pretty enough, and there will always be someone better looking. I have deep insecurities about my appearance, mostly programmed into me but there nonetheless. You might think “omg shut up, I’d kill to look like you”. But I’m thinking the same thing about someone else. It never ends, despite what advertising would have you believe. There is no ladder of prettiness to climb up, only an increasingly large hamster wheel to run on until you give up in exhaustion.
It’s trite but true, you have to be able to accept yourself. If you cannot, no amount of procedures and altering of your appearance will bring you *lasting* happiness.
I understand what you’re saying and I know exactly what that all feels like because I am a natural Barbie looking woman without the height. There are always pros and cons to almost every issue and looks are no different. If I need help, men fall over themselves trying to assist. I like fashion and I enjoy looking good in my clothes and feeling “sharp.” However, the curse side is that I had to fight twice as hard to be taken seriously at work and more to prove to the women that I didn’t get where I’m at by sleeping or even flirting my way to the top. I had to prove to my female superiors that I am more than equally capable than my plainer peers. I had to actually “out do” them to be taken seriously. Also, many women make assumptions, have insecurities and literally WANT to dislike me and will look for a reason not to like w/out even giving me a chance. There are even some men who resent a pretty woman they think are out of their league and will treat me like crap because I represent something they want but can’t have. They dont’ know me, but want me to be shallow and silly and will treat me with condescention. But, the bottom line is, I am the product of a genetic cocktail completely out of my control just like every other human being on this planet. I didn’t earn it as a blessing and I didn’t deserve it as a curse, it is just the way it is and I have learned that overall, it is a blessing and any woman who feels bad about herself physically would give anything to be “pretty” so it is a bit silly to consider myself unlucky just because some people have issues. I won’t cry myslef a river when I know there are people out there men and women alike who are mistreated, disregarded, cast aside, taken for granted, and literally abused because they are considered unattractive. In the end, I would rather have my problems than their’s so we can’t have a pity party for ourselves thinking we have it so bad. It sort of minimizes other people’s actual plights.
Oh I’m not having a pity party, I just wanted to bring up the side that nobody wants to talk about. Either because it doesn’t seem real if you haven’t experienced it or that you’re accused of having a pity party. Boo effing hoo, it’s so hard to be pretty. No, it isn’t but it doesn’t come without unique problems and it most certainly doesn’t make your other problems vanish, which seems to be the perception.
There will still be parts of your body that you hate and want to cover or change, there will still be a prettier woman to measure yourself against and come up short, you will still get treated like crap by strangers even though how they treat you like crap may change, and people will still judge you and form erroneous opinions about you. If any of the above seems like it would go away if you changed your appearance, it won’t. That’s my point. Sure, a lot of superficial stuff is way easier, but it really is superficial stuff. Underneath are the same exact problems everyone else deals with.
Yes. Becoming pretty doesn’t usually solve problems. In fact I would think it would damn disappointing to have something done and still feel pretty much the same afterward. I wasn’t accusing you of self-pity BTW. I just know alot of people don’t get the “curse” end of pretty and don’t want to hear it. I thought I was telling you to can it in a nice way before somebody told you to STFU in very harsh way. LOL.
To the ladies complaining about the down side of being pretty-enjoy it while it lasts. When you are 40+ and it really starts to fade it’s an adjustment. Age is the great equalizer when it comes to appearance. I understand where both of you are coming from but once you get a little older and aren’t getting the attention and perks you’ll miss it. Be thankful for it now and remember that it has a shelf life.
As someone who has been fat and invisible to both men and women (no matter what I wore it seemed) , and after losing 50lbs am considered conventionally quite attractive, I would definitely not go back. It is really unfortunate that people treat you differently when you are more attractive, but it is true. I seen as more professional and hard working. Yes, some men only talk to me because they want to get into my pants, but it’s pretty easy to weed those out. Really, there were no perks to being less attractive as far as I’m concerned. Also, Jessica Biel may feel that being attractive isn’t that amazing, but I feel as though her lack of acting ability (and apparent personality) is the cause of more problems than being beautiful. I have gorgeous friends who are lawyers, work in construction management, are engineers. They get taken seriously despite their amazing good looks every day.
@Sally – this month’s Good Housekeeping features an article by a woman who got a nose job at age 50. (For the record, it’s not a cautionary tale, I think she’s happy she got it done.) Just wanted to let you know…
There’s no shame in wanting to “be pretty” and I dont understand why “smart, intelligent, career women” feel as though they shouldn’t want that. But honestly, if you think a new nose and boobs means you’re suddenly pretty and you’ll be treated the way you think others prettier than you are treated… you’re mistaken. What you’re doing is picking things you don’t like about yourself, assume others dont like these things, and that these things are holding you back from experiencing some sort of joy you won’t currently ever experience. It’s faulty logic. Im not making a case against plastic surgery… I’m making a case against your logic because you could spend the money and make the physical adjustments and I promise you… you’ll still feel the same as you do today. Maybe not right away, but you will.
I don’t disagree with you. We all dream of being ‘the whole package’. There it not much one can do about their intellect, but there are certainly things to be done about appearance. Just be sure you are doing it for you, and research your options carefully.
I’m sorry you feel that you’re missing out on something. I’m 60 now and not affected by it anymore, but when I was younger I was very pretty. I didn’t realize just how stressful it was to be stared at and come on to all the time until I hit middle age and it stopped. I am on the introverted side and being able to do things without eyes checking me out is such a blessing, the best thing about getting older.
Happened to a friend of mine. She got her boobs done…developed a horrible infection and had to spend a month in a rehabilitation center.
I can relate to Stephanie a bit. I lost weight and dropped down from a c cup to an a (or small b). While personally, I don’t think I would choose to get implants, I can understand why some people do. People often roll their eyes when skinny people with curveless, small-chested figures complain about feeling shamed and insecure about their bodies. Well, the fact that so many are risking their health by getting breast implants, butt implants, wearing waist trainers etc. obviously shows that society does make some women feel inferior, because they don’t have “curves”.
I got a breast lift in 2010 after BF my two boys back to back for three years. I was so ashamed of them and moreso because I’d always had PERFECT naturally full boobs. To see them deflate to saggy empty bags was heartbreaking and like the woman in the story, I was going through a breakup and was hardly of sane mind at the time.
I’m pretty happy with the result but there’s been a cost; no sensitivity in nipples (and I love having my nipples, er, stimulated ; ) keloid scarring, reduced size, completely different nipple shape and a slight discomfort sometimes.
Am I happier than before? Yes and no. Sometimes I miss my old breasts… point is it’s not always some perfect ending. There are pros and cons to plastic surgery.
Thanks for sharing. I’d like to have a breast lift but I’m quite scared of surgery.
Just something, take it or leave it: If it’s something up your alley, I can attest that getting one’s pierced generally results in increased sensitivity in them. It’s not for everybody, obviously, but it can definitely help restore some sensitivity to them if done right. The pain is, well, it’s pain. But I suspect that if you were able to recover from major surgery, it pales in comparison. Just putting that out there.
I don’t get why she can’t get a job? I thought she was fantastic on SVU. Alex was one of the most memorable characters. She’s a good actress and a beautiful woman. Someone give this girl a job!
She looks strikingly beautiful in the blue outfit. Often times women get surgery for their husbands or partners who’ve expressed a lack of attraction to a particular body part. It’s not so cut and dry that a woman is just shallow and obsessed with her body. And the fact that this person is an actor in a looks obsessed field I completely understand her desire to improve her appearance. She’s stunning the way she is and I hope she gets her dream acting part soon.
I”m sure it didn’t help having a philandering husband during her time of breast infection/deformity. If that wouldn’t make a woman feel inferior, I don’t know what would. I’m blaming Bobby! LOL.
Stuff like this is why some people believe that a psychiatrist or psychologist should be part of the plastic surgery process, like what trans people have to do. Clearly, she was doing it for the very wrong reasons – it sounds like she was depressed and thought that the surgery would better her life. Maybe having somebody in the process to say “Hey, maybe this isn’t right and maybe you should take a break and try to focus on healing yourself first” would spare people like her from making bad choices.
It might help, but people get so single minded and fixated on the perceived outcome that it can be hard to break through it. I’m sure if you’d asked her at the time she’d have a long list of logical reasons to mask the true one. And a counter argument to each reason that this is a terrible idea.
It would be a different world if a mental health professional had to sign off on every elective surgery, especially the appearance enhancing ones.
I believe that the top tier surgeons employ a psychiatrist for cases or if they feel that after a consultation one is needed. Doctors have been known to say no and then the patient goes to someone less than reputable and damage can occur.
I know this sounds terrible, but there are just some celebrities that I just can’t stand their faces. Bobby Flay is one of them. Nick Cage, Gary Busey, and Val Kilmer are a few more….for some reason, or rather no real reason, just can’t stand their faces!!!!!
I feel the same! It’s a douchiness, or smackability…
I also share an irrational hatred of Nick Cage simply based on his highly punchable face.
The fiery feminist in me loves that everyone listed above is a man. Bahahahah hell yeah!
I think this was well written and despite being 28 I could related to it. If she got a a weekly blog on people.com or whatever I’d probably read it.
What makes me sad is that there are so many ways she could have made herself feel better such as retreats, meditation, volunteering, yoga, and she chose plastic surgery. I get that to many this is an option which doesn’t discount personal growth – and that feeling better about your body can help your self-esteem. But the outside can’t heal what is damaged or hurt on the inside. It’s just an expensive bandaid. I think I get that from what she is saying now.
My friend recently had a tummy tuck. The scar is shockingly big. And she still has to put in the work at the gym. It wasn’t the cure all I had imagined it would be.
I’m a chicken. Three c sections and I’m not crazy about more surgery. But there are non-invasive options I’m considering. Tons of reviews and pictures at http://www.realself.com.
I have had a tummy tuck and a c-section. The tummy tuck was 100 times more brutal than the c-section. Tummy tucks are awful, and agree you still do have to eat right and work out. It is not a cure all. I had lost about 90lbs so my stomach sagged and turned in and all of that is gone.
I am 6 years out from my tummy tuck and you can’t see the scar that much now.
My sister had babies young and around maybe 27 she had a Tummy tuck for excessive skin etc, she went to a bad dr, he did an in office procedure, it left her disfigured, she had has an uneven painful still 10 years later scar that goes from one side of her back hip to the other side of her hip ( so to be clear the sh*t wasn’t even ) she felt really guilty and stuff about it and she is fairly religious and shy so she didn’t sue the guy, he had to do lipo and had her on painkillers and antibiotics for a long time, years I mean! it was horrible for her, that said when I was in my 30s I decided to do an in office Liposculpture and it went went ( I had a lower pooch no matter what size) my doc was excellent I had a clean recovery and so on, the dr even asked my sister if she’d like a revision but she is completely scared of getting her scars touched or even numbed down etc ( she has a Long keloid tissue basically) does not wear a bathing suit or anything form fitting
Kudos to her for getting rid of her one giant boob — Bobby.
Bwaahaaahaaaa!!!!
Wow! HAHA!
Post of the day.
More like the month!
Hahahahah
COTD!
I had breast implants about twenty years ago and now regret it. One has ruptured through the muscle wall but still looks ok. I’d like to have both removed but I’m scared to go under sedation because I had a dental implant and the sedation didn’t work. I was paralyzed and could feel everything but was unable to move or scream from the pain. It was my front tooth! I’m now terrified of any kind of surgery.
Oh Joanie that is horrific. Is there any kind of data on these kinds of incidents in terms of recurrence? Is there anything the anesthesiologist can look for when you’re put under? I hope you’re ok.
This is one of my worst fears…not being properly sedated during a procedure.
I spoke to my doctor about my experience and she thinks I didn’t get enough sedation. She told me her husband had something similar happen to him.
I remember everything that was being said while supposedly under. They were talking about going sailing and the nurse said to the doctor “her blood pressure is rising”. I was trying so hard to scream and was completely paralyzed. Apparently it happens, not frequently but it does happen. (I’m a redhead and have read articles that say we need extra drugs.) I’m ok but absolutely terrified of ever having to be put under again. It was excruciatingly painful.
It’s infortunate that Bobby Flay decided to share something so personal about her so that she felt she needed to go on the record to defend her choice. I got implants after breast feeding my children left me with no breasts. I went from a c cup to less than an a cup, flat as a board. For myself personally, I felt like in some ways it was a way to reclaim my body after the sacrifices that I had make to carry my babies and nurse them. I hated the idea of foreign objects in my body and it took me two years to go through with it. The surgeon you choose makes a difference. The first consultation I had was with a surgical office that felt to new like an implant factory and the surgeon’s motto was bigger is better. Not for me!! I found a surgeon who was very respectful of the fact that I just wanted to look like myself again. I was naturally a c before kids, shrunk to nothing and now have b cup breasts after getting implants. Only my sisters, mom and husband know that I went under the knife- no one else would be able to tell. I think for many women their sexuality and femininity is somewhat tied to their breasts/ appearance. I’m a naturally very thin person with no hips etc… I felt like a boy when my breasts disappeared. I’m lucky to have had a positive experience with breast augmentation- they feel like my own now and look natural. I lost a little bit of sensitivity near the incision site but overall I’m glad I did it.
That makes a lot of sense, Crystal, thank you for sharing your perspective. My breasts didn’t change that much after breastfeeding, but I can see how a drastic change would be upsetting and understand the desire to feel like your old self (much like reconstruction)–especially in relation to body type. One question–is it a procedure that needs to be redone every x years (what I had heard)?
My understanding is that they will need to be redone I the future (10-15 years?), which is a definite down side.
I have friends who got implants to return to how they were before they had kids and breastfed. Mine are actually bigger than they were before but sure could be much perkier, and if I lose the last 15lbs of the weight I gained on antidepressants to treat postpartum depression, I fear they will look like tennis balls in a sock. We don’t have the extra cash for boob improvement, we have things to do around the house that are much more essential right now. I’m glad money is an obstacle and it’s not just a matter of making an appointment for that or any other elective surgery because it allows me to do a lot of thinking, and recover from panic moments when I see something I think I can’t live with. The thing with implants that really freaks me out is that they have to be replaced at some point,and to what age do you hang onto them until? And then if you remove them when you’re elderly, well I don’t even want to think of what you’ll have to face in the mirror. And also they can leak for years without you even knowing. I’ve seen implant surgeries where they discovered the old one was actually in backwards. The thought of having them replaced even once and having scars cut open and sewn back up actually makes me feel a bit sick. I don’t think it’s for me.
My sister-in-law is teeny, tiny and had no visible breasts at all, which actually was proportional to her body. She felt like a boy so she got C cups, and, in my opinion only, they look way too big for her. She then got a rare cancer, sarcoma, which she worries was caused by the implants. I do NOT think that is true, but she does worry and regrets the implants. I doubt she could ever take them out. She went SO much bigger, her skin would definitely be distended.
I am getting less tolerant of a society that tells us that bigger is better for breasts, and skinnier is better for the rest of our bodies. And let’s be honest – we buy into it. I had a fine body before I gained weight from quitting smoking, but really considered implants because I felt my B cups weren’t sexy enough. What a crock! I love the Instagram posts for body positivity and #effyourbeautystandards. It’s mostly young women claiming their bodies for themselves as beautiful and if you don’t like it, it’s not your business. I stumbled onto this when checking out a young yoga teacher, nolatrees, in IG who is considered obese by society, but is strong and amazing! I’ve actually made a separate IG for myself, a middle aged woman who lost 20 pounds but, for health (cholesterol) reasons, I want to lose 15 more. But I look fine as is, and refuse to let fashion designers and editors tell me I am fat and ugly.
“…to what age do you hang onto them until?”
Unless there is a problem, there’s no reason to remove/replace. This is the biggest misconception out there.
“And also they can leak for years without you even knowing.”
With saline, absolutely not. The implant will deflate. With silicone, the only way someone wouldn’t know is if they skipped the recommended follow-up.
“I’ve seen implant surgeries where they discovered the old one was actually in backwards. ”
Because someone who had no business performing the surgery did so. A lot of the horror stories that are out there happened because the patient went to someone who wasn’t board certified to perform this type of surgery or, heaven forbid, someone who wasn’t qualified to do any type of surgery at all.
Hope this helps!
This is such a great site. What a great conversation. I love the sharing aspect of celebitchy.com.
I have never understood the allure of implants. Breast reconstruction after a mastectomy? Sure. Breast reduction? Yes. But bigger ones? No. I am a 34B and unless I wear a push up bra they don’t really stand out. You can tell I have boobs but I am so glad they are not bigger. Would not care if they were smaller. I don’t have to think about them, they are just there. I can’t imagine having bigger ones. More to carry around, tough shopping for bras and clothes, and people staring all the time. No thanks.
Aw this was so sad and relate-able.
I am not considering plastic surgery but I have been having a really tough time this year. I’m only in my early thirties but for some reason in the past year I have aged more than I did in the previous 5. I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize myself. It’s very hard to go from pretty to – not. And while I fully understand that looks are definitely NOT everything…for some reason I’m really struggling. I’ve been trying really hard to come to terms with the fact that my time of being attractive is over. I mean I’m not saying I went from Attractive to troll-creature that lives under a bridge but I definitely don’t think anyone is going to be admiring me from a distance any time soon.
Oh my god started tearing up at work, what is wrong with me! I’m not even on my period!
We’re here for you pinetree! Hugs!
I think a lot of us (RAISES BOTH HANDS!) have struggled with the aging process. I’ll be 35 in a few months and I’m not super-thrilled about it, if I’m being honest. If you’re really struggling, there’s no shame in talking to a therapist and, for what it’s worth, I’m sure you’re just lovely!
Aw, little pintree – your attractive days are FAR from over. At 51, I honestly still get looks, and I haven’t had anything done. But I’ve been glad (honestly) to be able to go under the radar a little more, so to speak. To not have my looks precede me into a room, if that makes sense. By the time you get there, you will likely feel the same.
You are young, my dear. 🙂 Enjoy your youth you have while you have it.
Thanks Ladies. Also I’m aware of the melodrama of my post lol. Just feeling really unattractive lately, not sure what my issue is.
I had a nose job 30 years ago. Best decision ever. My nose had a large bump and droop and I totally hated it every day of my life. I chose a top surgeon. I have been grateful every day of my life since then. Yeah there’s plenty more I’m unhappy with but can live with. My nose was my nemesis and now it’s my best buddy!!
Gosh, reading all these horror stories, I’m glad I had the wonderful experience I did. I can totally relate with feeling like your whole life is out of control and the only thing you have control over is your body. It was at a time like this that I got my implants as well. I was lucky that my doctor is wonderful, and never tried to talk me into any size, but rather told me since I am small he recommended one of their smallest sizes. At the last minute I opted to go a little larger, and he acquiesced. Even though I did get some contraction on one side, and I can’t afford to have it surgically fixed, it has softened over the years to where it nearly matches the other.
I can’t imagine going under the knife and not being able to trust your doctor. That is medical malpractice what some of you have experienced! I would encourage you to seek redress if only to file formal complaints. Something to raise a flag over these male doctors who think they know better what their female patients need so that they can’t practice their nefarious deeds on other victims. My heart goes out to you all who have experienced this.