There are now photos of Orlando Bloom naked on the Internet. He was not hacked, and there is no sex tape. We, as a society, get to see the Orlandong because he decided to do some naked paddleboarding on his vacation with his girlfriend Katy Perry. The paparazzi seemed really close too, so it’s not like Orlando didn’t KNOW he was being photographed. We can’t link to the Full Orlandong in all of its glory, but the photos are all over Twitter and beyond, so really, it is just as easy as searching “Orlando Bloom” on Twitter. While I’m not going to say the Orlandong is magnificent, I am glad that I got to see it. What a time to be alive, people!!!
There are several funny parts to this story, in my opinion. First of all, people wanted to see Orlando Bloom naked back in 2003, not 2016. But I’m pleasantly surprised (as are we all) that Orly still has true-blue Bloomers (or whatever his fans are called) who are rejoicing today because Orlandong photos exist. The other funny part? That Katy Perry is completely over it. Just the look on her face in these photos is KILLING ME.
So, Twitter was blowing up and #OrlandoBloom was trending for a while. Some funny tweets:
Finding out why #OrlandoBloom is trending… 👀 pic.twitter.com/znNOi9Wl2L
— boohoo.com (@boohoo) August 4, 2016
When you spot the shadow on the paddle board #OrlandoBloom pic.twitter.com/qWa2b9L800
— JAMES (@JamesDelamare) August 4, 2016
Show me the uncensored photos of Orlando Bloom. pic.twitter.com/Itecdr3bOn
— Isabelle (@_HLoopsHi) August 3, 2016
*sees Orlando Bloom trending*
*clicks on the trend* pic.twitter.com/n7TESl8TtK
— The Late Late Show (@latelateshow) August 3, 2016
Photos courtesy of WENN, cover courtesy of The Daily Star.
hahahahahahahaha
In one of the pictures it looks like Katy’s warily looking over her shoulder like, “Is that ’bout to sneak up on me or nah?”
Why would you paddleboard naked with your stuff hanging. That doesn’t look comfortable. Or is he building a new career now that acting is not working out that well?
i find it refreshing when a celeb doesn’t give a crap. so let it hang, orlando, i would too.
“What a time to be alive, people!!!” – Kaiser for the win! 😂😂😂
I don’t understand the point, but, nice body……. Very nice body.
After the shadow tweet I had to go back up and scroll and look for the shadow. HAHA.
This whole story is hilarious! LOL
I did a scroll back for the shadow too lol.
I love how the Star mentioned KP’s latest single is called Rise…!
Just a thought seeing as how Perry and Swifty are rivals, is Taytay going to make Tom do something similar ?
It sure beats cavorting by the seaside in a silly vest, make it happen gossip Gods.
*fingers crossed
There are enough thirsty hot dudes out there to make this happen. Please no Lutz nuts though.
Beats an ” I heart TS” T-shirt.
Amen.
…But not a Taymerica g-string!
Katie’s face in these pictures is everything.
What a morning! With the world seemingly on the verge of collapse with this Trump candidacy, I am insanely happy to see a naked Orlando Bloom giving good cheer to the world. Maybe we will survive this after all. I suggest a naked man picture from the entertainment world EVERY DAY to sustain us trough this election cycle. I think that’s reasonable and we certainly deserve it.
Amen!
Orly made the front cover of The Sun today, headline “Sword of the Rings” Lol.
Welp. It’s not necessarily the dong I deserve but it’s the dong I need right now.
Thank you Orly for diverting me in this manner. Your pics and the tweets have cheered me up during what has been a very trying day at work.
jferber – ” I suggest a naked man picture from the entertainment world EVERY DAY to sustain us trough this election cycle.”
OMG…After seeing the pics, I read that as *erection* cycle 😂😂😂😂😂 I need more sleep! lol
(Hiddleston desperately scans his boyfriend contract with Swift for nudity clause…)
Lol Melody great minds think alike…
HAHAHA.
Bah. You got there first!
I fear it does not point to any of my virtues that this is the first thought I had!
Just imagine the Tomster on that board instead
This totally wasn’t the first thing that came to my mind 🙂
Can’t find the uncensored pics anywhere 🙁
Me neither. Come on, Internet. It’s Thursday and I want to see some peen!
I just typed his name into Google, let the Twitter result “pop” up and viola! There he is in all his glory. You might have to scroll through a few though.
I think it’s because I’m at work. Lol
Just take Kaiser’s advice and search the hashtag on Twitter.
Look up Orlando Bloom Paddle Board on twitter or #orlandobloomuncensored
Sad to say it’s a bit underwhelming. Different strokes…
@saltandpepper
Not everyone can be Liam Neeson
🙂
🙁
Go to D-Listed and scroll to the bottom of the post where they updated it and click where it says click.
hey lady! good to “see” you on here again!
Haha, that’s what Orlando’s peen said.
Corny, but I couldn’t resist.
I took a little vacay and spent some much needed time in South Beach and The Bahamas.
It’s pretty easy to find on Tumblr too.
Just go on twitter, it’s a treasure trove.
Found them! And apparently I have a twitter account. Happy Thursday to us!!! That peen is alright!
I don’t know, I hope he’s more of a grower and a shower,,,
Well, he is semi erect, so no he is not a grower. Russell Brand has similar…eh sizeage issues. Katy has a type.
ahahah at least Brand has wits and I genuinely think he’s somewhat smart and makes up for it…but Orlando? Not so much! ;P
Hop over to Twitter and search for Orlando Bloom and keep scrolling – it only took me a minute and I have no skills haha!
The mirror.
I hope this becomes a trend. More peens and less bigotry and death, 2016!
Agreed pikawho, the Peen is mightier than the sword…..
hahaha I love you both 🙂
Best pun EVER, Shelly!
shelly, you win the internet!
OMG, I seriously LOL’d at work – wasn’t expecting that.
Hahahahaha.
Now that is a slogan I can get behind!
In fairness to Katy, that’s the same RBF expression I make when the sun is in my eyes. In other news, Orlando Bloom’s question for attention is successful, and I must admit he is in much better shape than I expected.
I just figured she didn’t want him to put it on her shoulder again, or fake laugh while he helicoptered for the 12th time that day.
that is totally it…. “I get it, you’ve got a peenie. Just don’t come crying to me when it’s sunburned.”
THE SHADOW! No need to see the veiny bastard, thank you very much, but I’ll take its magnificent shadow.
Lol.
Don’t care much for the Orlandodong, but Katy’s boobs are spectacular…!
Katy’s look when he takes of his pants is hilarious 😂 She’s not amused.
Damn Firewall..
I’ve always found Orly attractive but, call me a prude, all I can think of is “put some pants on.” It’s not the penis that offends me per se, but I just can’t get behind naked sports activities.
Agree. If you’re laying out in the sun-whatever. But paddle boarding? Weird.
There is hella grit on those boards. no bueno.
He wanted to make sure they got a good shot.
“naked sports activities”.
LOL..sounds like a sports that should be in the Olympics.
Olympic sports originally were naked. They should return to that tradition
But then we wouldn’t be having all this fun. He’s having fun. And I’m loving Twitter right now.
Each to there own I suppose. Is it possible that there will be no uncensored pics because this was staged with the agreement of blocking out his penis..?
Nope, they’re out there.
I have one word for you: Tumblr. 🍆
OMG!!!! Ha! Well I’ll take my tinfoil hat off then. On another note, I hope he doesn’t get sun burnt .
I shouldn’t click where I am now. But should I later? Report back please!
Yes do it! And tell us where to go, fearless leader
See DListed. They have a link to Tumblr. Still haven’t clicked yet (curse you work wifi!) but will this evening….
Um, yes. Do click. It’s a pretty good looking dong…
Yes do dick! I’m mean click😜
DO IT. I just fount it and it was worth it!
Orlando for president!!!!
Hilariously, PopSugar has a post with this as the title
“Exclusive: Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom Have a Surprisingly Down-to-Earth Day at the Beach”
And then only shows pics of him with clothes on… way to miss the story, lol! Is that supposed to be ironic?
It looks semi erect and not terribly girthy, but I guess when one remembers what Russell is working with this is an improvement.
Agree. I was expecting something monumentous after all the superimposed Egglplants. It looks average size, to me anyhow
Where are the PR conspiracies? She has a single to promote and he…. is promoting himself? These were taken close, they knew they were being photographed….
(If this was another famous couple the comments would be full of this, let’s be honest )
If this was another famous couple I think its safe to say, they would have redeemed themselves in many peoples eyes !!!
It would be internet GOLD.
It doesn’t look staged, they’re already dating, that’s the difference. And the nudity of course.
Oh course it was blatantly done for PR, knowing it would go viral. Perry and Swift have C-list actor boyfriends that are desperate to be known for something other than their mega-famous girlfriends. They aspire to trending hashtag status!
Gosh, just watched all three Lord of the Rings films, and now I see Legolas’private parts in all their glory 😀 Hope he did put some sunscreen on it though…
OMFG the shadow cast tho’!
Kind of on par with Nosferatu’s silhouette methinks
Nosferatu…Ha ha Ha
There’s also a photo where he’s kissing her and groping her ass and she is just like ok calm down 😂
hahaha, brilliant.
Love it. Enjoy it. Need it.
i suppose that’s the only thing he’s got going for himself now, his love life and his penis (it’s a normal penis btw, nothing special).
He’s looking good these days and even with these shots I still wouldn’t. He ain’t got nothing to be ashamed about 😉
Katy thou, she’s clearly like ‘again!’.
Nothing’s left up his sleeve anymore, NOW what’s he gonna do for attention?!
Ps-I agree. This is an entertaining and light-hearted distraction from mind boggling and worrisome campaign drama.
Why would you even do this? Chafing?
Looked at it on Twitter and…yeah. Sorry, but dick pics do nothing for me. I don’t know why he did it other than he’s a fame whore. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
Nudity on beaches isn’t that uncommon in parts of Europe, its not seen as a big deal. I would imagine they were on a beach where it was acceptable
I remember being on a beach in Greece which was mixed, I kept my bikini on, but many others were naked.
It was fine until some people from the “nude” group started playing racquet ball near us…Bleuughh.
Talk about put you off your kebab.
as a european, this is the oddest thing i’ve read today. sometimes you’d see women going topless, but that’s about it.
Another European chiming in, nope not the oddest thing at all. Nude beaches are perfectly normal in my part of Europe, I wouldn’t bat an eye at either topless women at the beach or fully nude people.
The most hilarious anecdote to me still is the time my parents accidentally booked their camping holiday in France at a nudist camping place.
If you were American, everyone would be screaming at you for your myopic and Americentric point of view…Eurocentrism is totally cool though, yeah?
Good for “Lando”. It makes a refreshing change from all the “blow-up-doll-pose”, naked selfies that are usually circulating. He’s a fruity sort isn’t he?
Legolas is making me giggle. Maybe he is hoping for work in the porn industry and this is his audition. He’s not getting any other work.
I dont mean to be mean but that guy is not scoring any mainstream p0rn work with what he is packing. Maybe in the guy humiliation sub genres but we should all hope that those are beneath him.
I think what he is packing is perfectly adequate, but I’m not much of a size queen.
I think it is clear that the guy isn’t scoring any mainstream work of any sort on a regular basis so he is trying for whatever he can get.
What’s happening when it’s relaxed can have zero bearing otherwise. Surely, as adults (?), you’re aware of that by now?!
“Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow”
RR.Martin
Aaah, what a morning! From Trump to Orly. Well, I know which dick I prefer.
Fun fact – a Polish noun for “naked guy” is “golas”, so now, after all this years, every LOTR fan here can say/write a phrase golas-Legolas and it’s not a dad joke, but something that makes sense and fits the context. 😉 Twitterverse is having a blast.
The reaction is making me laugh – its being taken in a light hearted way and it doesn’t seem that he is being dragged for it, in fact its being embraced. LOL, he’s certainly lightened the mood of people. I suppose he can always say he’s training for the ancient Olympics where athletes used to participate butt naked. #Rio2016
It cracks me up that Katy is sitting there in a bikini and he’s butt naked! 😂
I know, it’s hilarious! I have so many questions that will never be answered….why is he naked? Was he naked when the shoved off, or did he whip off the trunks once they were on the water? What is going on in Katy’s mind as this is happening?!?!?!
I think it’s clear that the emoji on the Daily Star cover is the real victim here. Just look at its face! It would like very much to be excluded from this narrative.
So the fappening was a violation and invasion but this is not, and even celebrated? Hum…
Have you heard about consent and the difference between public and personal matters? It makes a world of a difference. Bloom clearly knew that people and most likely – paparazzi (who must have been pretty close), would see him and photograph him, but he still decided to parade naked in public. Those other pictures you mention were stolen. They were made in private, intimate situations and were only meant to be seen by people they were sent to, not the entire internet. So yes – the “fappening” was a violation, while this situation is not.
He’s naked in a public place that’s the difference.
And somewhere, Kim Kardashian is fretting over how someone got so much publicity for posing nude…..and plots her next snapchat to prove IT WAS REALLY HER ON THE PADDLEBOARD…
BWAH HAH HAHAHAH
Peen is the new black. Come on Hiddledong show it!!
Some how, “try hard” just seems right and wrong at the same time.
He was just going the natural way to even up the paler area where he’s been wearing shorts.
If this was lord of the Rings, Troy, Pirates of the Caribbean Era Orlando I’d be down for these pics. But these are 13 years too late 🙁
I wasn’t that impressed, to be honest.
That’s what I call throwing shade.