In case you were one of the twelve people who bought into that whole, “Paris Hilton is actually a marketing genius” bit, I’m here to inform you that you, sir, are an idiot. Paris has proven once and for all that she is the stupidest, flakiest imbecile on the planet. Right after those people who believed otherwise. She’s being sued for $8 million for failing to promote her 2006 comedy “Pledge This!” – on which she was a producer.

During her deposition today, Paris said – among other moronic things – that she doesn’t know what a producer does (and apparently has that job mixed up with casting directors), that she loses her cell phone – and buys a new one – every two weeks, that she doesn’t keep a business diary and just Googles herself instead, and that she promoted the movie just fine by telling people every chance she got that it was “hot.”

Case dismissed.

The 28-year-old heiress … was asked by lawyers during a pre-trial hearing in Miami Thursday if she keeps a diary for business meetings. “I just press my name and Google it and see,” she told the court. Asked by lawyers about her calls from the producers, she testified: “With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time. I probably get a new cellphone, like, every two weeks.”

When shown a copy of her cell phone bill, she replied: “I’ve never seen a phone bill of mine in my life.” Asked what her responsibilities as the film’s executive producer, Hilton told the court, “I’m not sure what a producer does, but – I don’t know, help get cool people in the cast?”

Hilton, who also revealed that she earns $11 million a year, claims she adequately honored her deal to promote the film. “Any chance I got, any red carpet, any press, if I was doing something for another product…I would just bring it up, ‘Oh, my new sorority film, it’s going to be sexy, it’s going to be really hot girls,'” she testified. “Like, I really, you know, did my best.”

A lawyer for Hilton added that the investors made unreasonable and last-minute demands for publicity events because the heiress’ schedule is always fully booked. Said attorney Michael Weinstein: “She’s the single busiest person on the planet.” A trial is scheduled to begin in June.

[From Us Weekly]

You hear that President Obama? Paris Hilton is the single busiest person on the planet! Stop lazing around with your meetings and your summits and start working as hard as Paris! The rest of us should get off our asses too. We are clearly not working as hard as Paris. I’m going to start an epic list of all the hard working people who are still not working as hard as Paris Hilton. Sheesh.

I love how Paris’ whole defense is “I’m an idiot.” She’s got about ten different ways to say it, but that is what she’s saying. Not that anyone was doubting that. I love that she was a producer and doesn’t know what a producer does. That goes to show you what a vanity title that can be.

I don’t remember hearing much about this film, so I’m guessing it’s safe to say Paris didn’t promote it properly. It’s also safe to say it was crap and that’s the bigger reason it’s hardly memorable. Only so much of that is Paris’ fault. And really – they were resting all their hopes of a successful film on someone who Googles herself instead of keeping a business diary? Good luck.

Here’s Paris at the Kennedy Center Spring Gala on May 3rd in Washington D.C. Images thanks to WENN.com .