After we heard Donald Trump brag to a laughing and complicit Billy Bush about how he enjoys sexually assaulting women and getting away with it, the press has paid more attention to the fact that he’s been accused of multiple incidents of sexual harassment and assault. Trump is currently being sued for raping a 13 year-old girl in 1994, and he was sued in 1997 for sexual harassment. His ex wife, Ivana, said during a deposition that he raped her in 1989 while they were married, although she later tried to characterize it as a “violation” instead of rape.
As many other people have said, this is not “locker room talk” which is in any way normal or acceptable. Trump said these things while making a professional appearance on a television show, athletes don’t regularly brag in the locker room about hurting women, and when it happens it’s just as much an indication of rape culture as this exchange between Trump and Bush. This incident has created a movement of women sharing their stories of being assaulted, raped and hurt by men. Amber Tamblyn posted a story about an abusive ex who did grab her by the “pussy,” resulting in extensive vaginal bruising and pain. It took a lot of courage for her to share this.
A photo posted by Amber Tamblyn (@amberrosetamblyn) on
That made me cry a little. This is what happens when men “grab women by the pussy.” This is what happens when other men listen to these stories and laugh and give encouragement. We need to teach our sons that this is not ok, that women are not property, that men don’t own our bodies and that they need to monitor their friends and acquaintances so that they don’t have the opportunity or encouragement to rape, assault and hurt women. The criminal justice system isn’t doing it, and the people in power are not being properly prosecuted or facing consequences for it.
exactly, she’s not telling this story for people to guess. she’s sharing this story, and very bravely so, so maybe more people can understand what it means for a woman to have to endure this.
And she’s right. Every time someone dismisses those vile words as “guy talk”, they’re condoning assault and contributing to a culture in which guys think it’s fine to grab women like pieces of property.
Trump’s campaign has continuously revealed just how awful and unequal society still is. So many of us — women of all races, people of color — really do have to live and work and socialize among people who don’t respect us, don’t care if we’re abused, believe they’re more valuable than us, and desperately want to prevent us from gaining full autonomy.
I’d like every woman to go on whatever social media platform they use and relate a story like this so some of these stupid “I don’t see what the big deal is” types get it.
Ok, here’s my story. In a bar when I was in my early 20’s. Drunk guy is behind me and reaches between my legs and grabs my p***y. I scream out several times for all to hear in a rage “This guy just grabbed my crotch!” My boyfriend at the time punches the guy in the face and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Drunk pervert leaves, we stay. Police come. Police tell us this pervert is a really bad guy who has been in and out of jail, and we are probably luck he was so drunk because he could have gotten really violent, may even with weapon, so next time just call the police. If the guy was rich, he could have been another DT.
I am a bright spot of blue in a sea of red in my state. All weekend I’ve seen people on facebook dismissing this as “locker room talk.” The worst part is that it’s women. Women are excusing it. Making excuses for him. It’s disgusting.
I see the “all guys talk this way” over and over. No. No they don’t. He keeps repeating how it is just talk. Yep. Talk about SEXUAL ASSAULT! Hahahaha. Oh boys will be boys and laugh about sexual assault. It’s gross. It’s so gross.
I think that many women are in denial. Admitting that this is a serious problem is very frustrating and scary. It means it can happen to you. It can happen to anyone. Not just women that are wearing skirts that are too short or are drunk in public.
Big up to her for posting. As we were saying on Sunday’s thread, this kind of solidarity and open sharing between women reduces shame – a vital thing.
As also mentioned on Sunday’s thread, Kelly Oxford, a Canadian writer, also posted her assault experience. In less than 24 hours, she had 9.7 million interactions. Women posted their own stories at the rate of 50 per minute for 14 straight hours. Just those women who are a) on Twitter and b) saw the feed, generated 50 abuse and assault stories per minute for 14 hours.
It sunk mine too. But I also think it is very powerful and I really believe that open sharing reduces the shame felt by survivors and empowers women to report going forward. I hope so, anyway.
I showed it to Mr Sixer, who said it really brought home to him why I get so angry at blokes who say #notallmen and thereby derail a conversation about what feels like pretty much all women.
I saw Kelly’s twitter feed blow up. It was gut wrenching. Made me think of my mother, who was hurt terribly by childhood sexual abuse from a family member. She suffered in silence. How long oh lord, how long?
I have no problem believing that stat. Every single woman I know has been the victim of sexual assault. Every.single.one. Depressing and it makes my blood boil when people dismiss Trump’s admission of sexual assault as locker room talk. It’s not just talk. It’s NEVER just talk. It speaks to a mindset, to an insidious culture that devalues and denigrates women.
With every story, every voice, it becomes more and more clear that this is an epidemic the world over. We need to keep discussing it, openly and without fear. The more awareness is spread, it might just be the genesis of change.
I share this story, not for pity or sympathy, but because sexual assault is much more prevalent than most want to admit. For many, many years, I hid my own assault. I spiraled out of control, became a cocaine addict, blamed myself, found different vices outside of drugs as well, to try and self medicate myself. I got blamed for what happened to me, called a slut, told it was my fault when I did tell someone. I didn’t have mental support from those around me, and its what spurned my depression. I am okay now, and I wouldn’t take any of it back, because I am who I am because of it all. When I was 15, I moved from a town I had lived my entire life in, to another town in Texas. i was the “new girl”, and found myself popular. Not in the shadow of my cousin, or uncle anymore. I wasn’t “his” niece, or “her” cousin. I made friends with a boy that lived 2 streets over, and rode the same bus I did. We hung out all the time with our group of friends. Fast forward 6 months later, when I was freshly 16, and I got invited to my first teenage party. I was so excited, because I had never been to one before. I lived a very sheltered life, and add into the fact that I lived in the shadow of others, I reveled in my new found popularity. Not to mention, I was friends with football players (big deal in TX) and the cool kids finally. I remember going to the party, taking my first drink of Crown and coke for the first time, and bits and pieces 30 minutes after that, then NOTHING. I remember waking up the next day being sore, and not understanding why. I had told myself for years, I would wait til marriage. As a matter of fact, I was one of the few that still maintained her virginity at my school. It wasn’t until a few days into school after the party, that I became privy to what happened. My “friend” was bragging about how he “hit it”. How could that be, when I didn’t remember any of it? I wouldn’t have done that. But for that first week, I was suddenly a “whore” to the school cause “I gave it up” in the backseat of his car. How I got blood everywhere, and it was so gross. He told anyone and everyone who would listen, his side. The “locker room talk” Donald so lovingly calls it. That was until the stories started to come out. The ex gf of his that always hated me, always gave me dirty looks, suddenly looked at me with sympathy. Suddenly her demeanor towards me changed 100%. That’s when the reason for their break-up came out. Her story was almost the splitting image of mine. And then the other stories from other girls… He had roofied them, and gotten what he wanted from them, and ditched them. I was his latest victim. The tides turned on him, when he tried to confront me on the bus about the news. He thought I started them, and was angry. That was when Jake, (I still remember his name vividly because he was the first to ever stick up for me) the RB for our football team, got in his face and told him to sit down and leave me alone. Within the next few weeks after that, my “friend” was run out of TX to OK. Obviously, I never thought I would lose my virginity in the backseat of some old car, to someone I didn’t love. And I am over this part in my life, but even to this day, there are still lingering effects it had on me. I am now almost 35, and have maybe drank alcohol 5-6 times in total, because I want to be in control of myself at all times. Even if I know the chances of this re-occurring is slim, I subconsciously can not allow myself to “let loose”. And trust in friends takes years for me to gain. I watch and observe you as a person for many many years, before I allow you into my inner circle. I lost control of whom I was, for many many years because of this one single act in my past. But I woke up one day, and told myself “THIS” wasn’t going to define me. I am more than what happened to me.
Thanks guys. I think a lot of women don’t “talk” about what happened to them in the past, and it’s good to see how things have changed in our society to allow them to do so. I didn’t necessarily have that back then, and I think with support, people won’t ever spiral into depression the way I did. My mom also carries guilt for how she treated me after I told her (6 months after my situation occurred), but she didn’t know any better because “you just didn’t talk about it”. I hope the more this is talked about openly, the less women are guilted into believing it is their fault when something like this happens.
This is also what any woman still voting for Trump condones. Violence against other women and GIRLS. He not only raped that 13 year old, he then beat her up. Just because. While the other high-powered men in the room did nothing to stop him,( just waiting their turn I guess). So you women still voting for him can stand in front of the microphones and say you don’t agree with his words all you want, but the truth is, you still stand with a vile misogynist, racist, homophobic, sociopathic child rapist. Your very vote condones his behaviors. Nice to know you supporters have no moral benchmarks.
I’m very sorry that happened to you but am happy you are doing better now. Thank you for sharing your story. Thanks to everyone coming out to share their experiences.
I was at a new year party at a hall when I was 16 years old and was very drunk for the first time. I was in the boot room because I knew I was embarrassingly drunk and wanted to be alone. I was violently grabbed by my “friends” boyfriend in that boot room. He reached under my pants put his finger in me and violated me as I stumbled back. One of my friends came in and yelled at him to get off me, and that’s when he rushed out. The next day his girlfriend acted pissed with me. My other friend had told her what happened to warn her about her bf, and she decided to be mad with me instead. I was treated like I’d done something wrong. I felt very weird about my body after that. Like it wasn’t my own. I ended up drunkenly losing my virginity a few months later to a guy who used me for sex. It was a horrible experience, and I was very depressed afterwards. In retrospect I realize I was acting out to try and handle my feelings about my body. My friend who witnessed what happened is my friend to this day, and I thank god she came looking for me that night and had my back. When Amber Tamblyn and others share their stories it is a clear reminder that “grab her by the p*ssy” is in no way “locker room banter”. My stomach dropped when I heard his predatory, violent language toward women. This man does not deserve to be running for presidency. This is a tremendous offense to anybody who believes in the rights of women.
LB, I am so sorry. Something very similar like your experience happened to me when I was 16 at a house party. I was drugged and then raped by one guy then I blacked out. Woke up and started looking for one of my friends. I never found her. The rapist’s best friend me first and “grabbed me by the busy” and threw me on top of a washer/dryer and violently digitally violated me while he tried to kiss me. I begged him to stop and when he did he pushed me, walked away laughing as hard as he could. My best friend (the girl I was looking for) told everyone I had consensual with both of them. I was bullied with violence out of my junior year of high school. I told no one that it was rape and sexual assault until I was 32 years old. That night changed my life forever.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I understand that it is hard to talk about these horrific violations to others, let alone admit it to ourselves. Thank-you for sharing. You are brave <3
fifteen years old, walking in a busy area of North London alone. A group of three young men walk towards me. One of them grabs and ‘honks’ my breasts. I freeze. It feels like minutes he had his hands squeezing me, probably seconds. I push him. I shout. ‘What are you doing’. His friends laugh. They run away. I stand there. Bystanders carry on walking. No-one helps, nobody comes to my aid. I go home. I don’t tell anyone because I feel ashamed. Twenty years later. Three degrees. A family. A successful job. That feeling of being ashamed and powerless is still here. I never did tell anybody about it.
God, that’s so awful. I hope that guy got what he deserved but even then, it’s not enough, because I think it’s an emotional scar that stays with you forever. I feel for Amber, but I’m sure she’s in a much better place now, and I also hope her story helped raise some awareness.
i dont like to talk about mine because to this day, i still feel shame. for the longest time, i thought it was my fault, but it wasnt. even my stepdad doesnt know. it would kill him. my story is i was sexually assualted by a customer at a gas station i used to work for back in 2013. i was only 22, naive. he touched my crotch and i ran into the back room, crying. i felt violated. i call my boyfriend and the cops. they both come. they arrest the guy
and he tried to play it off that i was his girlfriend. this guy was in his 70s. it went to court. and everytime i went, i got sick just being in the same place as him. there was a RO in place, but he still tried to be near me. his punishment?? probation and a 3 year restraining order. to this day, he still tries to go near me. and everytime, i just feel anger and pain. i cant trust people anymore, its hard for me to make new friends. he did alot of damage that day.
My heart goes out to her. I too was “grabbed by the pussy” on a night out by a stranger. Not to the extent Amber was but it hurt me physically and emotionally. I recounted the event to a friend of mine and his response was: Jesus my daughter wouldn’t stand for that.
Someone did to me exactly what Trump described, as I was walking home from college in my first year, and then ran away.
I will never forget the shock I felt just at that moment – and the annihilating rage that had me turning around to chase the worthless piece of shit down two more streets before he was finally caught (a crowd had gathered because I was screaming as I ran, and they helpfully collared him for me).
I punched him in the face, and I have no regrets at all about that – I have no memory of what that face looked like, but that punch is probably the reason why that assault doesn’t haunt me the way my earlier one did.
But I was still a crying mess afterwards and never told anyone about it, and the assault was a definite factor in my decision to leave college, which I loved and which was the first place in my life where I truly felt like I belonged, less than a year later, when I won a place at a college in another, safer city (I had deep and ultimately justified misgivings about the new college, but yeah, the thought of my hypothetical safety was definitely a factor in choosing to leave my then college – I’ve always wondered if I’d have made the same decision without the assault fresh in my mind)
Thank-you for sharing your stories ladies. Being able to stand up and talk about it sheds light on these truths. And this is why Donald’s “locker room banter” excuse that he repeatedly made is nothing short of deplorable.
This is the most important reason Trump must not become president: he represents hatred. He couldn’t even give a real apology for his hateful words that prove he HAS and WILL assault women. When someone believes they can assault others it is a HATE crime. I hope his campaign falls to pieces even more in the next coming weeks.
I love that she’s telling her story. A friend of mine got into an argument with her Trump-supporting husband, and she was amazed to realize how truly clueless he was about what women go through. Literally every single female friend of mine has at minimum some story about catcalling, groping, raping, assault, grabbing, touching… Most of us have many, many…
I have multiple stories, I lost my virginity at 15 to a boy who I said no to multiple times while kissing but after trying to pressure me for a few minutes he very literally said “f@$k it” and just went ahead with it. I can’t remember how much I tried to stop him in that moment or if I did at all, I remember not wanting to make a scene or be rude and now I wish that I had more than anything. My second is a about a man I was dating, we were having consensual sex when he decided to force himself on me anally. I couldn’t stop him and I started crying from pain and was sore for a week after that. My last story I was at a local store (I live in a very small town of less than 1000 people) with my current boyfriend. He had to use the washroom and left me alone in the store. I was looking through the drinks in the displays when I noticed a man following me, something didnt seem right about him so I tried to ignore him. He then came up to me, grabbed his genitals and asked me to go behind the store and have sex. I said no and to leave me alone and started to walk away, he followed me and kept asking and grabbing himself. I also noticed that his friend was standing walking parallel with me in a seperate aisle following me. I was afraid of these men because they wouldn’t leave me alone no matter what I said so I called my sister and told her what was going on. She told me to stay on the phone till my boyfriend came back and when he did he walked up to me and I handed him the phone, my sister explained what had happened and he was instantly enraged at the men, he walked up to them and tried to confront them but they acted like they couldn’t hear him and took off to the other end of the store. We went to the cashier who had watched the whole thing and told her what was going on, she said nothing in response to it so we left. The men hid in the store till they thought we were gone and then left. My boyfriend confronted them again and they apologized to him but not me until he forced them too. He told me after that he regrets not calling the police on them. When I think about that day I’m so grateful that I was with him because the cashier had refused to do anything and I’m positive those men were not going to take no for an answer.
I think it’s dangerous to guess who it was.
exactly, she’s not telling this story for people to guess. she’s sharing this story, and very bravely so, so maybe more people can understand what it means for a woman to have to endure this.
What she described is so very similar to what happened to me in a club probably 20 years ago. Stays with you forever.
Horrific.
And she’s right. Every time someone dismisses those vile words as “guy talk”, they’re condoning assault and contributing to a culture in which guys think it’s fine to grab women like pieces of property.
Trump’s campaign has continuously revealed just how awful and unequal society still is. So many of us — women of all races, people of color — really do have to live and work and socialize among people who don’t respect us, don’t care if we’re abused, believe they’re more valuable than us, and desperately want to prevent us from gaining full autonomy.
“….and desperately want to prevent us from gaining full autonomy. ”
This a thousand times!
SPEAK OUT, SPEAK OUT, SPEAK OUT!!!
I’d like every woman to go on whatever social media platform they use and relate a story like this so some of these stupid “I don’t see what the big deal is” types get it.
Ok, here’s my story. In a bar when I was in my early 20’s. Drunk guy is behind me and reaches between my legs and grabs my p***y. I scream out several times for all to hear in a rage “This guy just grabbed my crotch!” My boyfriend at the time punches the guy in the face and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Drunk pervert leaves, we stay. Police come. Police tell us this pervert is a really bad guy who has been in and out of jail, and we are probably luck he was so drunk because he could have gotten really violent, may even with weapon, so next time just call the police. If the guy was rich, he could have been another DT.
I am a bright spot of blue in a sea of red in my state. All weekend I’ve seen people on facebook dismissing this as “locker room talk.” The worst part is that it’s women. Women are excusing it. Making excuses for him. It’s disgusting.
Women are there own worse enemies. With all the college rapes in the news you would think women would be outraged.
I see the “all guys talk this way” over and over. No. No they don’t. He keeps repeating how it is just talk. Yep. Talk about SEXUAL ASSAULT! Hahahaha. Oh boys will be boys and laugh about sexual assault. It’s gross. It’s so gross.
I think that many women are in denial. Admitting that this is a serious problem is very frustrating and scary. It means it can happen to you. It can happen to anyone. Not just women that are wearing skirts that are too short or are drunk in public.
Big up to her for posting. As we were saying on Sunday’s thread, this kind of solidarity and open sharing between women reduces shame – a vital thing.
As also mentioned on Sunday’s thread, Kelly Oxford, a Canadian writer, also posted her assault experience. In less than 24 hours, she had 9.7 million interactions. Women posted their own stories at the rate of 50 per minute for 14 straight hours. Just those women who are a) on Twitter and b) saw the feed, generated 50 abuse and assault stories per minute for 14 hours.
Think about that.
You can read the feed here: http://twitter.com/kellyoxford/likes
Thank you Sixer.
That just sunk my heart.
It sunk mine too. But I also think it is very powerful and I really believe that open sharing reduces the shame felt by survivors and empowers women to report going forward. I hope so, anyway.
I showed it to Mr Sixer, who said it really brought home to him why I get so angry at blokes who say #notallmen and thereby derail a conversation about what feels like pretty much all women.
I saw Kelly’s twitter feed blow up. It was gut wrenching. Made me think of my mother, who was hurt terribly by childhood sexual abuse from a family member. She suffered in silence. How long oh lord, how long?
I have no problem believing that stat. Every single woman I know has been the victim of sexual assault. Every.single.one. Depressing and it makes my blood boil when people dismiss Trump’s admission of sexual assault as locker room talk. It’s not just talk. It’s NEVER just talk. It speaks to a mindset, to an insidious culture that devalues and denigrates women.
With every story, every voice, it becomes more and more clear that this is an epidemic the world over. We need to keep discussing it, openly and without fear. The more awareness is spread, it might just be the genesis of change.
In hope and solidarity ladies.
I’m proud of her for sharing her story and am so glad she got out of this and was brave enough to talk about her experience.
And as for the apparent Jason Ritter guess – Amber mentioned the guy had brothers who stopped him but he only has one.
I share this story, not for pity or sympathy, but because sexual assault is much more prevalent than most want to admit. For many, many years, I hid my own assault. I spiraled out of control, became a cocaine addict, blamed myself, found different vices outside of drugs as well, to try and self medicate myself. I got blamed for what happened to me, called a slut, told it was my fault when I did tell someone. I didn’t have mental support from those around me, and its what spurned my depression. I am okay now, and I wouldn’t take any of it back, because I am who I am because of it all. When I was 15, I moved from a town I had lived my entire life in, to another town in Texas. i was the “new girl”, and found myself popular. Not in the shadow of my cousin, or uncle anymore. I wasn’t “his” niece, or “her” cousin. I made friends with a boy that lived 2 streets over, and rode the same bus I did. We hung out all the time with our group of friends. Fast forward 6 months later, when I was freshly 16, and I got invited to my first teenage party. I was so excited, because I had never been to one before. I lived a very sheltered life, and add into the fact that I lived in the shadow of others, I reveled in my new found popularity. Not to mention, I was friends with football players (big deal in TX) and the cool kids finally. I remember going to the party, taking my first drink of Crown and coke for the first time, and bits and pieces 30 minutes after that, then NOTHING. I remember waking up the next day being sore, and not understanding why. I had told myself for years, I would wait til marriage. As a matter of fact, I was one of the few that still maintained her virginity at my school. It wasn’t until a few days into school after the party, that I became privy to what happened. My “friend” was bragging about how he “hit it”. How could that be, when I didn’t remember any of it? I wouldn’t have done that. But for that first week, I was suddenly a “whore” to the school cause “I gave it up” in the backseat of his car. How I got blood everywhere, and it was so gross. He told anyone and everyone who would listen, his side. The “locker room talk” Donald so lovingly calls it. That was until the stories started to come out. The ex gf of his that always hated me, always gave me dirty looks, suddenly looked at me with sympathy. Suddenly her demeanor towards me changed 100%. That’s when the reason for their break-up came out. Her story was almost the splitting image of mine. And then the other stories from other girls… He had roofied them, and gotten what he wanted from them, and ditched them. I was his latest victim. The tides turned on him, when he tried to confront me on the bus about the news. He thought I started them, and was angry. That was when Jake, (I still remember his name vividly because he was the first to ever stick up for me) the RB for our football team, got in his face and told him to sit down and leave me alone. Within the next few weeks after that, my “friend” was run out of TX to OK. Obviously, I never thought I would lose my virginity in the backseat of some old car, to someone I didn’t love. And I am over this part in my life, but even to this day, there are still lingering effects it had on me. I am now almost 35, and have maybe drank alcohol 5-6 times in total, because I want to be in control of myself at all times. Even if I know the chances of this re-occurring is slim, I subconsciously can not allow myself to “let loose”. And trust in friends takes years for me to gain. I watch and observe you as a person for many many years, before I allow you into my inner circle. I lost control of whom I was, for many many years because of this one single act in my past. But I woke up one day, and told myself “THIS” wasn’t going to define me. I am more than what happened to me.
Thank you for sharing.
You are so much stronger than you imagine. Thank you for sharing.
I can only imagine how hard it is to retell such a horrifying experience but thank you for being so brave as to do so.
I think you are a fabulous human being.
Thanks guys. I think a lot of women don’t “talk” about what happened to them in the past, and it’s good to see how things have changed in our society to allow them to do so. I didn’t necessarily have that back then, and I think with support, people won’t ever spiral into depression the way I did. My mom also carries guilt for how she treated me after I told her (6 months after my situation occurred), but she didn’t know any better because “you just didn’t talk about it”. I hope the more this is talked about openly, the less women are guilted into believing it is their fault when something like this happens.
Thank-you for sharing Nicole <3
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you have healed, and hope it gets better every day for you!
This is also what any woman still voting for Trump condones. Violence against other women and GIRLS. He not only raped that 13 year old, he then beat her up. Just because. While the other high-powered men in the room did nothing to stop him,( just waiting their turn I guess). So you women still voting for him can stand in front of the microphones and say you don’t agree with his words all you want, but the truth is, you still stand with a vile misogynist, racist, homophobic, sociopathic child rapist. Your very vote condones his behaviors. Nice to know you supporters have no moral benchmarks.
“…The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
-Edmund Burke
Thank you for posting this. I have NO respect for anyone voting or supporting him or excusing his vile behavior…especially fellow women!
@Nicole-
I’m very sorry that happened to you but am happy you are doing better now. Thank you for sharing your story. Thanks to everyone coming out to share their experiences.
I was at a new year party at a hall when I was 16 years old and was very drunk for the first time. I was in the boot room because I knew I was embarrassingly drunk and wanted to be alone. I was violently grabbed by my “friends” boyfriend in that boot room. He reached under my pants put his finger in me and violated me as I stumbled back. One of my friends came in and yelled at him to get off me, and that’s when he rushed out. The next day his girlfriend acted pissed with me. My other friend had told her what happened to warn her about her bf, and she decided to be mad with me instead. I was treated like I’d done something wrong. I felt very weird about my body after that. Like it wasn’t my own. I ended up drunkenly losing my virginity a few months later to a guy who used me for sex. It was a horrible experience, and I was very depressed afterwards. In retrospect I realize I was acting out to try and handle my feelings about my body. My friend who witnessed what happened is my friend to this day, and I thank god she came looking for me that night and had my back. When Amber Tamblyn and others share their stories it is a clear reminder that “grab her by the p*ssy” is in no way “locker room banter”. My stomach dropped when I heard his predatory, violent language toward women. This man does not deserve to be running for presidency. This is a tremendous offense to anybody who believes in the rights of women.
LB, I am so sorry. Something very similar like your experience happened to me when I was 16 at a house party. I was drugged and then raped by one guy then I blacked out. Woke up and started looking for one of my friends. I never found her. The rapist’s best friend me first and “grabbed me by the busy” and threw me on top of a washer/dryer and violently digitally violated me while he tried to kiss me. I begged him to stop and when he did he pushed me, walked away laughing as hard as he could. My best friend (the girl I was looking for) told everyone I had consensual with both of them. I was bullied with violence out of my junior year of high school. I told no one that it was rape and sexual assault until I was 32 years old. That night changed my life forever.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I understand that it is hard to talk about these horrific violations to others, let alone admit it to ourselves. Thank-you for sharing. You are brave <3
fifteen years old, walking in a busy area of North London alone. A group of three young men walk towards me. One of them grabs and ‘honks’ my breasts. I freeze. It feels like minutes he had his hands squeezing me, probably seconds. I push him. I shout. ‘What are you doing’. His friends laugh. They run away. I stand there. Bystanders carry on walking. No-one helps, nobody comes to my aid. I go home. I don’t tell anyone because I feel ashamed. Twenty years later. Three degrees. A family. A successful job. That feeling of being ashamed and powerless is still here. I never did tell anybody about it.
God, that’s so awful. I hope that guy got what he deserved but even then, it’s not enough, because I think it’s an emotional scar that stays with you forever. I feel for Amber, but I’m sure she’s in a much better place now, and I also hope her story helped raise some awareness.
i dont like to talk about mine because to this day, i still feel shame. for the longest time, i thought it was my fault, but it wasnt. even my stepdad doesnt know. it would kill him. my story is i was sexually assualted by a customer at a gas station i used to work for back in 2013. i was only 22, naive. he touched my crotch and i ran into the back room, crying. i felt violated. i call my boyfriend and the cops. they both come. they arrest the guy
and he tried to play it off that i was his girlfriend. this guy was in his 70s. it went to court. and everytime i went, i got sick just being in the same place as him. there was a RO in place, but he still tried to be near me. his punishment?? probation and a 3 year restraining order. to this day, he still tries to go near me. and everytime, i just feel anger and pain. i cant trust people anymore, its hard for me to make new friends. he did alot of damage that day.
My heart goes out to her. I too was “grabbed by the pussy” on a night out by a stranger. Not to the extent Amber was but it hurt me physically and emotionally. I recounted the event to a friend of mine and his response was: Jesus my daughter wouldn’t stand for that.
Someone did to me exactly what Trump described, as I was walking home from college in my first year, and then ran away.
I will never forget the shock I felt just at that moment – and the annihilating rage that had me turning around to chase the worthless piece of shit down two more streets before he was finally caught (a crowd had gathered because I was screaming as I ran, and they helpfully collared him for me).
I punched him in the face, and I have no regrets at all about that – I have no memory of what that face looked like, but that punch is probably the reason why that assault doesn’t haunt me the way my earlier one did.
But I was still a crying mess afterwards and never told anyone about it, and the assault was a definite factor in my decision to leave college, which I loved and which was the first place in my life where I truly felt like I belonged, less than a year later, when I won a place at a college in another, safer city (I had deep and ultimately justified misgivings about the new college, but yeah, the thought of my hypothetical safety was definitely a factor in choosing to leave my then college – I’ve always wondered if I’d have made the same decision without the assault fresh in my mind)
Thank-you for sharing your stories ladies. Being able to stand up and talk about it sheds light on these truths. And this is why Donald’s “locker room banter” excuse that he repeatedly made is nothing short of deplorable.
This is the most important reason Trump must not become president: he represents hatred. He couldn’t even give a real apology for his hateful words that prove he HAS and WILL assault women. When someone believes they can assault others it is a HATE crime. I hope his campaign falls to pieces even more in the next coming weeks.
I love that she’s telling her story. A friend of mine got into an argument with her Trump-supporting husband, and she was amazed to realize how truly clueless he was about what women go through. Literally every single female friend of mine has at minimum some story about catcalling, groping, raping, assault, grabbing, touching… Most of us have many, many…
I have multiple stories, I lost my virginity at 15 to a boy who I said no to multiple times while kissing but after trying to pressure me for a few minutes he very literally said “f@$k it” and just went ahead with it. I can’t remember how much I tried to stop him in that moment or if I did at all, I remember not wanting to make a scene or be rude and now I wish that I had more than anything. My second is a about a man I was dating, we were having consensual sex when he decided to force himself on me anally. I couldn’t stop him and I started crying from pain and was sore for a week after that. My last story I was at a local store (I live in a very small town of less than 1000 people) with my current boyfriend. He had to use the washroom and left me alone in the store. I was looking through the drinks in the displays when I noticed a man following me, something didnt seem right about him so I tried to ignore him. He then came up to me, grabbed his genitals and asked me to go behind the store and have sex. I said no and to leave me alone and started to walk away, he followed me and kept asking and grabbing himself. I also noticed that his friend was standing walking parallel with me in a seperate aisle following me. I was afraid of these men because they wouldn’t leave me alone no matter what I said so I called my sister and told her what was going on. She told me to stay on the phone till my boyfriend came back and when he did he walked up to me and I handed him the phone, my sister explained what had happened and he was instantly enraged at the men, he walked up to them and tried to confront them but they acted like they couldn’t hear him and took off to the other end of the store. We went to the cashier who had watched the whole thing and told her what was going on, she said nothing in response to it so we left. The men hid in the store till they thought we were gone and then left. My boyfriend confronted them again and they apologized to him but not me until he forced them too. He told me after that he regrets not calling the police on them. When I think about that day I’m so grateful that I was with him because the cashier had refused to do anything and I’m positive those men were not going to take no for an answer.