Honestly, I was surprised that Melania Trump agreed to do an interview. I thought she was going to wait out the rest of the election in her gold-plated Manhattan lair. I also thought that the last thing Donald Trump and his campaign would want is to put Melania front-and-center (on her own!) in an interview against CNN’s Anderson Cooper. At the end of the day, Melania didn’t do herself or the campaign any favors, but then again, Anderson didn’t ask her about plagiarism or immigration either, so maybe it was a wash. Here are some of the weirder quotes from Melania’s interview, her first in months:

Her husband’s p-ssy grabbing tape: “I said to my husband that, you know, the language is inappropriate, it’s not acceptable, and I was surprised because that is not the man that I know. And as you can see from the tape, the cameras were on. It was only a mic. And I wonder if they even knew that the mic was on because they were kind of boy talk and he was lead on, like, egg on from the host to say dirty and bad stuff.

Whether she had heard Donald speak that way before: “No. That’s why I was surprised because I said, like, I don’t know that person that would talk that way and that he would say that kind of stuff, in private. I heard many different stuff, boys talk. I — the boys, the way they talk when they grow up and they want to sometimes show each other, oh, this and that, and talking about the girls and — but, yes, I was — I was surprised, of course. But I was not surprised that the tape came out. I was not surprised about that.”

The “locker room talk” excuse: “Yes, it’s kind of two teenage boys. Actually, they should behave better, right? [Cooper says, “He was 59.”] Correct. And sometimes I said I have two boys at home. I have my young son and I have my husband. So — but, I know how some men talk and that’s how I saw it, yes.

Whether the tape was an admission of sexual assault: “No. That’s not sexual assault. He didn’t say he did it, and I see many, many women coming to him and giving phone numbers and, you know, want to work for him or inappropriate stuff from women. And they know he’s married, so…Oh, yes, of course. It was in front of me. In front of me. And I said, like, why you need to give your number to my husband? I’m very strong. People, they don’t really know me. People think and talk about me, the — like, “Oh, Melania, oh, poor Melania.” Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t feel sorry for me. I can handle everything.

Her marriage: “We always have a great marriage and strong relationship and he said many times, that I’m the rock for the whole family. And yes, we are very strong, we are two independent people thinking on their own, and have a very open conversation, and I think that’s very healthy for the relationship.”

What she wants people to know: “That my husband is kind, and he’s a gentleman, and he would never do that. That everything was organized and put together to hurt him, to hurt his candidacy.

On her husband mocking women’s appearances: “Well, that’s him. He’s raw. He will say it as he feels it. So, you know, I know he respects women, but he’s defending himself because they’re lies.”

The multiple accusations of Trump’s groping, forcible kissing & harassment: “I believe my husband, I believe my husband, this was all organized from the opposition. And with the details that they go, did they ever check the background of these women? They don’t have any facts, and even the story that came out in “People” magazine, the writer that she said my husband took her to the room and started kissing her, she wrote in the same story about me that she saw me on 5th avenue, and I said to her “Natasha, how come we don’t see you anymore?” I was never friend with her, I would not recognize her…never happened. That’s why I sent them the letter, because it discredited the story. Yes of course because it was not true, so how we could believe her. That never happened, I was never friends with her, I saw her, she interview us twice, she came to the wedding, and for that story, that’s it, I would not recognize her on the street or ask her why we don’t see her anymore, so that was another thing like people come out saying lies and not true stuff.”

[From CNN’s AC360]

There was also an absolutely hilarious exchange at the end of the interview where Cooper asked Melania what her priorities would be as First Lady and she talked about bullying and social media… and even Anderson was like, “Um, your husband is a gigantic Twitter troll and bully” and she was like “whatever, he’s raw.” Anyway… yes, Melania is an idiot. One of my favorite parts was the stupidity about Natasha Stoynoff, the People Magazine reporter. Melania was like “I remember meeting her three times and she came to my wedding but I would not recognize her on the street! Receipts!” As for Melania saying that Donald Trump was only bragging about sexual assault because he wanted to look cool because Billy Bush was peer pressuring him… this is the man who is the GOP nominee for president. A presidential candidate’s defense is “Billy Bush made me do it!”

Photos courtesy of Getty, screencaps courtesy of CNN.