Last week we covered the story of a popular yogi on Instagram, Steph Gongora, sharing a video of herself doing yoga poses while bleeding through white pants while having her period. Her essay accompanying the video was thought-provoking and included a positive message about how menstruation is a normal bodily function that we’re taught from a young age to be ashamed of. At the end she included a statement about an organic tampon line, making many people wonder if the post was sponsored. If so, it was a very smart sponsorship from that company as it went viral.
People Magazine has a new interview with Gongora in which she explains how she was inspired to make the video. She doesn’t explicitly say that it wasn’t a sponsored post, or whether she obtained sponsorship after she came up with the idea, but it was a spur of the moment decision after she started bleeding:
Gongora says that the video she posted to Instagram, where she practices yoga while showing her period stain in white yoga pants, led to a long debate in the comments after the video went viral.
“I had a few people comment or [direct message] me or even email me that they wanted to kill me or that I should kill myself, and far too many individuals (men AND women) comparing menstruation leaks to defecating through their pants in public or just whipping out an erect penis in public,” the Austin-based yoga instructor, 30, tells PEOPLE. “But, there were so many grateful comments, stories, and emails as well.”
Gongora reiterates that she wasn’t free bleeding. “The video I posted was just a leak at the end of my hour-long yoga practice. I was wearing a tampon, felt it start to leak, and decided to take advantage of the situation to discuss something that had been mulling around in my head for a few weeks. So I just pulled on my white pants and kept flowing,” she says.
The yoga teacher, who is currently building an eco-retreat center in Costa Rica with her husband, says that many women responded to the video by commenting about the shame they’ve felt over period leaks.
“It was heartbreaking and heartwarming to hear about someone’s leak in high school that tormented their dreams for years, or how another women felt so ashamed of her period growing up that she vowed to change things for her daughter,” she says. “It was amazing to me how many trolls would scream that period shaming doesn’t even exist or isn’t even a thing anymore, when the three comments before theirs on the feed were stories about being personally shamed or ashamed during menstruation.”
Gongora also wanted to highlight the fact that while women in developed countries have to deal with unexpected leaks, there are others all over the world where they don’t have access to menstrual products at all.
“They miss work for fear of leaking in public, and they miss school, putting them behind in their studies. It’s unacceptable,” she says.
And when people call period leaks “gross” or compare it to “defecating through your pants,” Gongora says it shows ignorance.
“That’s generally something that most of us don’t have a problem with, at least not on a regular basis. I tend to be able to control my bowel movements … most women can’t control their period,” she says.
Which is why Gongora says it’s time to end the period stigma.
“Many people are afraid to talk about it, even women,” she says. “It’s just been shrouded in silence for so long that you’re supposed to accept that you need to hide your tampons when you walk to the bathroom, and it would probably be better if you called it something cute like Aunt Flo instead of your period or bleeding from your vagina. And we continue this, we perpetuate the cycle of shame because whenever someone does talk about it, they are met with hate and disgust and a great deal of misplaced anger and discomfort.”
I really like how Gongora shut down the argument that having your period is somehow like pooping (which some people made here too) by citing the fact that you can’t control when you get your period. I’ve heard that same comparison made with mothers breastfeeding their babies, that it’s like going to the bathroom in public, when those two things are nothing alike. Of course we don’t want to go around bleeding through our pants all day and that’s not her point. She’s saying that when it does happen we shouldn’t feel like we’re dirty or wrong and we shouldn’t teach our daughters to feel guilt and shame when they get their periods. I also would like more awareness and understanding in society of how debilitating menstruation can be. We’re supposed to bear the pain and discomfort, in many cases, without saying anything to our employers or coworkers and without any accommodations. There’s this misconception that women would take advantage of that, and/or that men would use it to claim we’re weak (which some will do regardless), when by and large we just grin and bear it like troopers every month. I didn’t even consider how getting periods can affect women and girls in third world countries and I’m glad she mentioned that.
Look at her moves! Holy crap. I do Zumba and kickboxing but checking out these moves is making me want to try yoga too.
How cute is this?
I like her message. As women, we have a constant bombardment of things we ‘need’ to be ashamed of regarding our looks, our bodies, our deportment, our intelligence, the way we dress, the sex we have/don’t have and on and on and on and on and on and on. The period fear and shame starts young and it encompasses a lot of things.
Agreed. Well said. It would have been nice to hear a message like hers back when I was a young, highly fearful and self-conscious teen.
I have never been ashamed of my period but I would feel embarrassed if I had a leak. For me this would be the same embarrassment felt if I had a food stain on my clothes that I hadn’t noticed or toilet paper stuck to my shoe. It wouldn’t end me but I would rather it did not happen. Sorry to see that many women have been made to feel shame for having periods.
Look. Periods are fine but do we need to discuss everything? Do you want to hear about my man back hair and butt zits. Maybe I’ll Upload photo’s of me shaving my Neanderthal ass…
and does your man back hair unexpectedly come popping out through your shirt? do your butt zits leave you in the very real situation of leaking through your underwear AND pants?
maybe you should download some of that b.s attitude.
yes, we need to discuss EVERYTHING that will have impacts on half the population. menstruation, and ensuring no young women/women are left feeling embarrassed over a natural (and very necessary biological function, what with it being the way for our species to exist) process are in no way comparable to your body hair, neanderthal ass or ass boils. if your body hair, neanderthal ass and ass boils had any relevance whatsoever to helping young men/men feel more comfortable about their physical selves, and their functions, then FUCK YEAH we would need to discuss it.
I find we discuss male perspective things frequently; sex, desire, what women’s bodies should look like (see Moe Jackson/pop sugar in the links today for a completely unlinked to reality example I’m sure), pooping (my male friends at least), farts, erections (morning or whatever else causes them).
When we switch to lady issues, in a general or public discussion, they become off limits and gross and should only be discussed by women. Men’s problems = the world’s problems, women’s problems = women’s problems.
As for your cosmetic issues, share as much as you want. I for one am a fan of TMI, bodies are crazy and interesting, and I’m settled so I don’t need anyone to think I’m a pretty princess who only toots Rose scent and never poops.
You didn’t ask for advice, but it’s the internet, I thought I’d give you some anyway.
You might want to try waxing, the hair will slowly come back thinner as you damage the follicles, and you won’t get stubble as much. And if you use a proper extraction tool, a needle and hydrogen peroxide you acne will pop and heal more cleanly. If you want to discuss treatments for acne, I’m here for that too.
Wtf I agree. She didn’t shut anyone down about the poop comparison. She’s saying you can’t control when you get your period, well some can’t control when they poop, it’s called diarrhea. And yes some women can control when they get their peridot through the form of birth control.
Now I don’t think it’s right to throw death wishes at this lady but I think she was looking for her 15 minutes of fame. Most girls and women I know are not ashamed to talk about their periods. They just don’t feel a need to announce it to the world. She can have several seats.
I agree WTF. Could you please arrange for all TV channels to stop airing erection pill ads every 10 seconds? I’m really over hearing about all the floppy dicks out there. Thanks.
That is an incredible false analogy.
Here’s the thing with so much of this… Not to go crazy off topic here but remember all the articles about the duggar family and their religion condemned women for “seducing” or causing men to lust after them -NO FAULT to the males just “girls wear your baggy sweats under you long jean skirts” so as not to tempt these poor helpless boys.Women blamed for sexiness;blamed for not being sexy enough.”She asked for it”and on we can go.This woman is trying to say ( in a more open way than I)that women are blamed for their periods or at least left feeling gross (and sometimes it is really gross)But regardless there is NO SHAME in a woman’s menstration cycle.Ironically the other day my not so eloquent but ever wonderful husband said “Hey are you wearing a plug I think I see blood on the cars leather seat”SERIOUSLY!!!Men say and do whatever but a female must somehow restrict her menstrual flow at all times-this thinking needs to taper off -pun intended.
what, so she deserved death threats about it? lol. I had no idea people were that deranged about periods.
I like her message too! I have spent decades being embarrassed about it and it is a beautiful, natural occurrence. I am constantly dismayed at the level of vitriol in society today. I heard a British diplomat on NPR the other day saying that the political atmosphere in the US didn’t alarm him because people disagreed, it was because left and right are not merely arguing about proper levels of taxation, they are saying to each other “you are a bad or evil person.” Same thing applies here – you find it offensive, look away, no need to threaten the poor woman or compare it to something else – which it clearly is not like.
Thank you. Yes about the shame from a young age. When I got my period I was 12 and in a conservative Christian, Republican household. My mom had never talked about female bodies or bras or sex, nothing. I just knew those things were embarrassing and not to ask about them. When I first bled, I felt humiliation and thought, “either I’m dying, or this is that thing I’ve heard girls at school talk about in the locker room. I guess if I’m alive day after day, it’s my period.” And my experiment proved I wasn’t dying and it was indeed menstruation. After a month of using toilet paper as a pad, my mom and I went to a pediatrician appointment, and only then did my mom find out I’d started menstruating.
Well, I mean, periods are pretty gross.
It’s a waste product… Good for her that she’s so open about it, but are we really supposed to get all warm and fuzzy about blood? I might need to get off this thread and stop wasting energy on this.
Yeah, they are. Personally I like to be clean.
I’d be more impressed if she was advocating sustainable mentrual products like sanitary cups, instead of disposables. I do agree that menstruating shouldn’t be shameful, or disproportionately taxed (as was brought up in the UK Parliament recently re the tax on sanitary products).
I’m sorry but to me this is being too pc; no you can’t control your period, but there’s other bodily functions you can’t control either, like being sick, coughing or bo, that doesn’t mean I’m not disgusted when I have to put up with other people doing those things.
I think the main problem is that periods are associated with women, and we grow up being taught to be ashamed of our bodies and every bodily function associated with it. IMO men have a very different rapport with their own fluids (sperm, for instance). See how talking about poops and farts is usually considered “boy” stuff.
I’m not sure if I’d call periods gross. Really it’s just blood. And doesn’t have the same awful smell that a poop or pee would have. It also flows freely out of us. We can’t help it. Just like breast milk. Female bodies are these incredible machines that are capable of so much. We create life! When you think about it, how mind blowing is that!!! Stop making all the side effects associated with that beautiful thing a negative thing.
I’m not saying periods are a negative thing, they’re a totally natural bodily function and I have no problem discussing it, but personally I don’t want to be free bleeding all over the place.
But that doesn’t mean WE as women are gross for having them. We’re more than our bodies and our periods. That’s the point.
Most of the best things in life are “gross”. Sex is “gross”. Eating meat is “gross”. Giving birth is “gross”. We can choose to sterilize these things, but I love that this gorgeous lady is swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction. Maybe she will help us find a better balance.
What really helped me to get over the grossness of my own period is the ladycup.
I used to hate my period for many reasons but now it’s not a big deal anymore.
Ladies invest in a Ladycup. It will change your life.
Totally agree, I’ve used one for about 7 years now. I always hated using disposables.
Ah me too. I have such an intense flow that those 5 days each month were a nightmare. Now it’s not a big deal, I can also sleep throughout the night without having to get up and change and on the final days I have to make a mental note and remember that I still am on my period!
I also use it when I go swimming in public pools. I used to experience thrush every so often but since i started using it it’s long gone.
I started using one recently and it really changed my life. It also helps you a lot in knowing your body better.
Right??! Even emptying it is fascinating…I know that sounds odd, but so true!!
I started wearing Thinx a few months ago. They are amazing as well.
Never heard of it? What is it?
Are those the absorbent panties?
Yes! Thinx with a menstrual cup is all I use anymore. Thinx are amazing
Thanks for sharing, I’ll give it a try!
Rushing to google those lady cups/Thinx products*
Let me know how it goes!
You will save lots of money too, which is always good!
I used to spend about 10€ a month for pads and tampons and now I just buy a pack of pads every 3 months.
I cannot believe that there are still people out there who don’t know about this, all because no one on tv or radio advertises these products. They’re also eco friendly and more hygienic than any other period product.
I can’t use them because of anatomy reasons but I totally encourage everyone to check them out! And menstrual cups in some way force you to confront the “grossness” of your period more than the disposables, which i think is a very good to step to accepting it and working with your own body. Ask your OBGYN first though.
Women are made to feel ashamed of pretty much everything that makes us feminine: Our breast, vagina, periods, our bodies, sex, child birth, etc. I think she made a really good point about how we can’t control our bleeding. And getting your period isn’t gross, it’s natural and healthy.
Yes!
I scrolled through some of the hateful comments on her post after you covered it, and it made me so sad I had to post one too. I said something like “I hope these comments are fueling your fight, they prove how important it is to de-stigmatize.”
When she replied that they were, I was happy but also very sad… because it means she read all the other individual comments too. I don’t know how public figures handle social media, I really don’t. It’s such a depressing reflection of real, current attitudes toward women and their bodies.
(And sure enough, other women started replying to me, literally asking “what stigma?” in between posts that were playing out the truth of the stigma in real time.) She speaks the truth. Kudos to her for distilling it into another simple message instead of letting it frustrate her into silence.
“She speaks the truth.”
She speaks the truth about what? If you’re saying she speaks the truth about period shaming that is not the truth, it’s her opinion. She can’t speak for millions of woman and men as if it is a fact that woman are ashamed of their period and that they feel period shamed. That’s an opinion, not a fact.
(And sure enough, other women started replying to me, literally asking “what stigma?” in between posts that were playing out the truth of the stigma in real time.)
THIS! That thread was a mess.
The fact that so many people last thread were offended by her opinion is kind of the problem that she’s talking about. I mean, even if you’re disgusted by periods, why are people so upset with what she’s doing? Who f*cking cares? It’s not hurting anyone and I personally see it doing more good than harm. People were literally shaming her without a hint of irony lol.
Jaysus…live and let live people.
I think it’s disingenuous to ask “why do you care” when she is very literally inviting the conversation and comments. She WANTS there to be a public conversation. But you’re essentially suggesting that those who disagree with her should not say anything because “why do we care?” We’re responding to somebody who is very much inviting the conversation. So I see no reason not to discuss it – but a discussion must involve two differing views, doesn’t it? If this was just a video of a woman doing yoga who happened to leak onto her pants, but it was not addressed, we wouldn’t be having this conversation (at least not to this degree). She made it into the focal point.
It’s one thing to offer an opinion on the broader topic of women being shamed for something as natural as our reproductive health, it’s another thing to repeat the same talking points ad nauseam in an effort to shout down people who present a differing opinion. Much like the last thread about this topic, some people here are incredibly dismissive and occasionally outright mocking this woman and the commenters who related that they were indeed ashamed/shamed for having their period.
So you have never been shamed for your period. Awesome. Congrats.
But here’s the thing: she’s not speaking for YOU, she’s speaking for the women who have been and ARE shamed for their periods.
Does it really bother you that much that this is the cause that she’s chosen? This isn’t really a right/wrong issue, it boils down to personal experience.
Hers is different than yours.
*shrugs*
I’m not ashamed of my period, however, I don’t want it running down my legs ruining my clothes. Maybe that’s just me?
I’m with you. I’ve never been ashamed of buying tampons and getting my period. Perhaps I’m in the minority, I’ve never been around people who made it a big deal (men or women)
Count me into the never been ashamed to have my period, club or buy tampons etc. What century are you other guys from?
Nobody wants their period blood to leak through their clothes, but if a woman does have a leak, she shouldn’t be shamed for it. That’s all she’s saying.
But are we shamed for it? I’ve leaked and I have never had anybody in public proceed to gawk, or point, or anything else. If anything, people have a tendency to avert their eyes because of general discomfort. I hate leaks because, well, it messes up my clothes (and blood in particular is a beast to remove at times). Most women I know feel the same. Most people maintain some degree of wanting privacy around our biological processes and losing that can be uncomfortable. But that’s not “shame.” I think there is a lot of presumption going on in this campaign.
Well apparently plenty of women are shamed, because she has gotten numerous comments and emails from women sharing their own stories and thanking her for speaking out. If you haven’t experienced it, good for you. It doesn’t mean that no one else has.
I remember girls getting shamed for dropping packaged tampons, having a string showing (I swam so everyone wore bathing suits), leaks etc.
For time/location reference, in southern Ontario, grade and high school mostly in the 90s, middle class. Dad couldn’t care less, but the boys I swam and went to school with thought periods were horrifying and disgusting.
I even had a friend tell me that tampons were for sluts, because they obviously liked having something up there. The shame is real, and if you didn’t face it you are lucky.
“Well apparently plenty of women are shamed, because she has gotten numerous comments and emails from women sharing their own stories and thanking her for speaking out”
And vice versa, apparently women are not ashamed because she has also gotten numerous comments and emails from women saying that they are not ashamed.
Succinctly said Goldie. She isnt saying that we should bleed freely without using any sanitary products. Just not shame d person cos she bleed mistakely. Dont we sometimes fart unitentionally n make a joke out of it. But some people love to talk n talk without waiting to UNDERSTAND what is being said. I’m sure some even read d comments instead of the post/article just freak themselves out.
@V4real Not every woman experiences shame during their period. However, Gongora is speaking out to support the women who have felt shamed. If she can help even one girl or woman feel less insecure about their period, then it’s worth it.
To use another example: not every poc experiences discrimination. Does that mean that we should stop discussing racial issues, because not every poc can relate?
@Myla thanks 🙂
Except nobody is saying what “shaming” actually is. A person being uncomfortable around somebody who is leaking is not “shaming you.” Like I said elsewhere, I have no doubt that some people can be jerks (especially teen boys). but shaming somebody, to me, suggests making somebody feel lousy or less than. Discomfort doesn’t rise to that level, nor does just not liking the process. If I were leaking or had a pad or string exposed, I’d probably be embarrassed because, well, it’s a private process and I’d prefer it remain that way. I also get that it is a gross process (it produces biohazard waste, sorry, it’s gross) and many people will not feel comfortable discussing it or being confronted with it. That again, doesn’t count as “shame” to me. Shame to me is what goes on elsewhere in the world, where it is suggested that women on their cycles cannot handle food, or take part in religious worship, or things like that.
@detritus – thank you for making this point. I was an early adopter of tampons because I personally thought pads were uncomfortable and gross.
A girl in my class then started the rumor that I was obviously not a virgin because her mother had told her only girls who have sex can use tampons.
This was 6th grade and the bullying lasted for months. Boys would yell SLUT as I walked past. Girls refused to be friends with me. It was awful. All because I used tampons and not pads.
Even in high school every now and then someone would bring it up as a “joke” “Hey remember when we all used to make fun of you for wearing tampons?!?” yeah haha that was SO funny…
The shaming for me was real and a big deal.
It’s not just you.
I made the “I don’t free-pee” argument on the last post with regard to free bleeding and apparently that’s not the same thing because we can control our bladder? But the main point was that periods are a normal bodily function. So which is it? I have no problem talking periods. I also agree that shaming women over leaks is ridiculous and needs to stop.
But the “we can’t control it” arguments is not helpful. I have a friend who literally cannot control his bowel movements at all times. Many women have bladder issues. None of that is shameful but if I can control my bodily fluids, I will do so. Anything else is just uncomfortable and I don’t need to celebrate everything just because I’m a woman.
Having said that, let’s continue the period talk. It can only be a good thing. …. That woman was sponsored though, wasn’t she? I have no problem with it but this covert sponsoring on social media sucks.
Yeah. It happens, and it’s not something I’m going to pretend DOESN’T happen, but no one has ever made me feel ashamed of it. I see no need to advertise it, either. And I don’t want to know about other women’s periods. Sorry, I don’t. I have sisters who text me details about their periods (and their poops – sheesh) and that is enough for this lifetime.
The part that makes me scratch my head the most are the white leggings during yoga. Lol.
So nice to hear this. I had a leak my first period and I was so ashamed and confused but I was just ashamed because of other people. If this is so natural why are we hated for it. I’m glad she’s talking about it.
As someone who got her first period at age nine, I have to be honest and say that it was hell. I still cringe remembering embarrassing moments in grade school and junior high. Kudos to anyone trying to reduce that anxiety for girls and young women!
I like that her message includes what I consider the bigger issue – the lack of access to hygiene products that women/girls in under developed nations and in poverty have.
On the other hand, people can shame each for anything so I’m not surprised people would troll others for this. I don’t consider periods gross on any level besides the general messiness of having them. I just got my first post partum period and luckily I was sort of prepared because it looked like a medium animal had been murdered.
Just like the breastfeeding issues, people need to mind there own and maybe have some compassion. With apparently at least one exception, no one really wants to have their period get into their clothes or whip their boobs out in public, but nature is nature. Get over it, and if people give you shit for it, ignore them. You can only feel ashamed of you internalize their issues.
Do women as a whole really feel a deep sense of shame over their periods? I don’t understand that. Periods are a natural (and annoying) part of life. Always has been. I don’t see how periods need an entire movement. We’re all aware of what they are and how they work. Helping girls and women in underdeveloped countries have access to sanitary products seems appropriate but this whole “shaming” thing seems kind of dumb.
So you didn’t grow up being made to feel like your body was gross for this normal bodily function. Truly, I’m really glad for you. Some of us did. I have a heavy flow and had to deal with embarrassing leaks in high school, and some of the reaction was not kind. Not to mention being made to feel like if you have a tampon in your hands it’s something dirty. All she’s saying is that no one should have to feel that way. It might not have been your experience, but for some people it was.
No, I have not have a bad experience with my period other than cramps and heavy flows. I was discreet about it and didn’t put it on display or make a big deal about it but I never felt pressure to hide it either. I’m a woman so I have a period. That’s life. I was not embarrassed by having my period. It is what it is. I suppose you’re right. If I didn’t have a bad social experience with it then I wouldn’t understand the need for a movement about it.
But in reality….our bodies ARE gross. They crawl with germs, they produce waste, etc. It’s gross stuff. I mean, I know my body is fairly gross (I just a baby, I know the levels of grossness we can achieve). But to me, there is a distinction between “that’s gross” and “that’s bad.” The metric for me is “did anybody make me feel like I was less than, or bad because of my period?” And…no. But I get that a lot of people do have an issue with grossness and simply prefer not to be reminded of it (heck, even when it happens to them). Heck, the first time I learned about periods, I went “ewwwwww.” Not because I was conditioned for “shame” but because I got that a waste product coming out of me was kinda…yucky. I think that is the problem people keep running into – we equate gross with bad or evil, and its simply not the case. But if you were to say to me if I consider periods gross, oh yes, I do. And I think a large segment of people do to. But I’m not sure if that’s a problem.
Im happy a lot of women haven’t experienced anything, truly. It means we are making steps as a society.
Unfortunately, when Red Tents (or their more common hut counterparts) still exist for a woman’s ‘unclean’ time, we are still going to have these problems. We live in a global community, and those ideas travel, even if the customs thankfully on remain in small or remote areas.
The stigma against periods is something the UN still fights with countries about, and the WHO, it’s not something that is safe/shame free for many women.
I mean, I don’t know. I guess good for her, and I get the sentiment. But there’s a certain amount of things that no matter how natural, and normal they are, I don’t really discuss them. I’m kind of prudish I guess in certain way – not in a pearl clutchy way – but I also don’t feel the need, or feel comfortable discussing certain things. Maybe prudish isn’t the right word, but whatever.
I can talk in general terms with friends about having a miserable time during periods (thank you, depo!), I can talk about the different types of contraceptives I’ve been on, and what kind of side effects I have. I don’t discuss my sex life… like at all even with very close friends. I just feel weird sharing certain things that are more ‘private’ to me, I guess. And that’s not wrong – same as it not being wrong for her to want to discuss it more.
I do think there’s more that needs to be done regarding periods and kids in school, though. It’s hard – and especially if you’re not on some sort of birth control and you don’t have a predictable cycle. And if you suffer from terrible periods – there should be something you can do about it to make it better – but even if you have a female boss – they might not believe how miserable you feel if that isn’t their experience. That goes for every condition though – people very rarely have the exact same experience with anything.
This is very true. A lot of us simply want to keep private processes…well, private. I don’t feel any need to share my period with the world. If I need to talk about it in a medical context, that is one thing. But this seems to suggest that if we’re not shouting it from the rooftops or telling every single person we encounter about it, we’re “ashamed” of it. This presumes a ton of motives and negative things about individual behaviors, which I think is misguided.
I’m with you Erinn. To me, the issue is the blurred line between modesty and shame. In this way, I can kind of equate periods with breastfeeding. Both perfectly natural but there’s a shame cloud over both, which is of course wrong.
Having said that, just because a woman chooses to cover up or doesn’t want to talk about her period doesn’t automatically mean she’s being shamed or is ashamed herself. Some people just don’t want to do that stuff in front of everyone, and that’s OK too.
I don’t generally regard nursing and periods in the same way simply because nursing is, well, for the benefit of another person and doesn’t produce waste – it’s food! A period is a waste process (analogous to going to the bathroom). It’s your body expelling waste material. It’s also a biohazard. Humans are naturally designed to recoil from waste precisely because it’s hazardous to us. That’s why I find it so weird that people decry finding periods “gross.” We’re supposed to! Now, the difference is that “gross” does not mean “bad.” It’s neutral. But reacting with revulsion towards menstrual fluid is not “shaming” somebody, it’s instinct.
Meh. It feels like opportunistic self-promotion more than anything else.
My sentiments, exactly.
Agreed 10000%
I love this girl! And what she is saying is amazing. Since having my third child and first daughter last December, I’ve been really into this stuff. Nursing openly in public, educating myself more on feminism and now this, not being ashamed because we accidently bled hough or pad or tampon. The fact that one day we could live in a world where if that happens, you don’t have to fear any backlash is incredible! Love this!
I didn’t know I was supposed to be ashamed of my period.
exactly! the internet taught me to be ashamed of so many things that I didn’t even know that existed
One of the reasons I never believed in a god was the fact that I believed the period to be unfair and a design flaw. Don’t talk to me about an all knowing creator that would include this in their designs. We are just high functioning animals. That being said she should take this message to places where girls are made to live in huts during their periods. And what the heck does yoga have to do with this? It’s faux spiritual stretching. Do you feel a connection to the universe on a treadmill or when you would do jazzercise in gym class at school? I’ll sign up for a spiritual boxing class when I’m done rolling my eyes for Jesus
don’t agree with period being unfair as I ‘m a med student I know how important this is for normal body functions.
You don’t have to be a med student to understand how the body and periods work.
Im saying if there was a divine entity that was designing our bodies then it could have designed birth and fertility in a way that did not involve the period or pain at all. For any female mammal or organism that has pain through birth or sheds it uterine lining.
You missed my point.
I think a medical student might be better educated on the functions of the cycle than most of us here. And yes, there is research that suggests that the cycle itself plays an important role in female health and wellbeing. I think you dismissed that comment way too quickly to support your own view.
@ Sam
You too have missed my point.
I’m talking about the idea of a divine creator and you are speaking about the science of our bodies that I already fully understand.
You also do not know my education level at all so maybe take a step back. You believe in divine creation? Thats fine for you. Im not taking that away from you by saying the science of our bodies is the reason I personally do NOT believe in a divine creator.
It is the same as saying I do not believe in a god because of pain, war, violence in general.
No, I pointed out that you dismissed molly out of hand, despite the fact that, yes, she most likely DOES have more advanced knowledge than you (or I) on the subject of our anatomies and the benefits of the menstrual cycle. You were nasty to her.
@ Sam The Pink
You do not know my education level. You do not know if that person is even a med STUDENT.
We are NOT discussing the benefits of the menstrual cycle.
I was in NO WAY nasty to anyone in this thread AT ALL.
In fact Ive been quite patient with you after it has already been explained to you that we are discussing the idea of a “god” and NOT the benefit or function of the cycle.
I don’t need to “support my view”. My view is that I do not believe in divine creation. Thats an OPINION of mine. A belief of mine.
If you can’t understand that or what Im saying then feel free to take it else where. I don’t come here to teach or fight with people. Good day to you.
Also, easy orgasms for men. Totally unfair, I’d do another period a month to get easy orgasms. I guess they die earlier, but that’s pretty much all we get.
Word!
On that note, orgasms are easier for me when I’m on my period as that is when I’m most horny.
WHY, GOD, WHY?!?!?!?!?
*shakes fist angrily at the sky*
LMAO @ Kitten
1. I agree… it is unfair. Something “so natural” shouldn’t include pain ! Same as child birth, it’s “natural” but painful (I’ve heard). Then there’s menopause…God women got the short stick for everything didn’t we?
2. Yoga can be spiritual. I am Indian and Yoga was created by my people. It was then taken and made in to a big business by non-Indians (and maybe even some Indians). You don’t need 200 dollar pants to do Yoga. There is a very big spiritual side to Yoga but it has gotten lost in translation. Yoga, outside of India, is nothing more than a gimmick to make money.
The pain of childbirth actually has been found to have purpose – the pain is the stimuli sensor that provokes your body to produce the endorphins and oxytocin that promote happiness, bonding and all that stuff. It also induces a desire to move in the mother, which helps the baby move through the birth canal. It actually serves fairly major purposes during the birth process – so the design actually works quite well.
Interesting ! However, fathers feel zero pain when their child is born and they bond with their babies just as much (in some cases even more). I don’t know…but thanks for the insight !
The bond between fathers and babies is different, though. Upon birth, a baby has no concept of father. The baby will, however, actively seek the mother – her voice, her scent, her heartbeat, etc. Since Mom is the natural food source, the baby bonds much faster and more intently to her – that’s not really sexism, it’s a matter of survival (or at least it was). A father’s bond has the benefit of deepening over time, whereas the mother’s brain is primed for a very fast, much more intense experience. At least, that’s how the brain chemistry seems to suggest it going.
Speaking from my own experience (had 3), I agree that the “intensity” is much more for a woman – it’s kind of hard to describe how it happens in such a rush. My husband was absolutely thrilled at the moment as well, but it becomes very clear very quickly that a baby only has eyes for their mom for a little while.
@me and @detritus
🙂 I like the cut of your jib. As the saying goes haha
@Sam the Pink
You are talking about science and we understand that. And your information is appreciated because some people might not know how the body works.
We aren’t saying the science of our bodies is sexist.
The original point in the tread was that I do not believe in a divine creator BECAUSE of the science of our bodies, birth, fertility, etc. Not just for humans but for any organism that experiences the similar.
Apples and oranges type of discussion my original comment has devolved into.
This comment is not to offend you as you seem very nice and intelligent.
I hope you have a very nice day and are enjoying motherhood 🙂
Why is it necessary to bring religon (or lack thereof) into this discussion? Also, if periods are one of the reasons you don’t believe in God, you might have a really skewed vision of the world.
I wasn’t speaking about religion. I was speaking about my personal thoughts about divine creation in relation to periods.
Maybe you have a skewed vision of what people are allowed to discuss? There are many different types of people in the world who have many different view points.
What you and others are missing about my inoffensive comment was that because i know about and believe in science, I am less likely to believe we are much more than animals with higher functioning brains and thumbs than the average mammal with the same types of reproductive systems.
In no way did I insult any religion. Your judgement of me or why I don’t believe in god is irrelevant. You appear to be reacting with emotion over our differences rather than engaging in conversation. I don’t believe that a omnipotent lord would create a life that involves pain. Periods = pain. Childbirth = pain. War = pain. Violence = Pain. Having to explain myself to people who dint participate in critical thinking and are offended by people who are different than themselves = pain.
What does this have to do with you? Nothing 🙂
My problem with this advocacy is that it leaves no middle ground – you can be okay with your period as a thing but not “celebrate it.” My period hurts, I’m not celebrating that! Either you’re a free-bleeding “moon goddess” or you’re a tool of the patriarchy. We can’t win for losing.
I also think this loses something coming from a white American. There are places in the world where menstrual discrimination is very, very serious (a girl in Nepal recently died in a hut that women are exiled to when the have their periods). Those are serious examples. I don’t think discomfort with tampons or saying certain words should be equated to that. I wish we could hear from women dealing with serious stigma, instead of getting another white American to monopolize the conversation.
I also don’t get her points about leaking or pooping. If I leak, yes, I’m upset – not because it’s my period, but because it ruins my clothes! And blood in particular is a beast to remove! So yes, leaks piss me off something awful. And it is kind of analogous to poop in that it’s waste product and a biohazard.
She’s not celebrating her period. She got a leak while doing yoga and used it as an opportunity to send the message, “Hey, sometimes we get leaks. We shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed. We aren’t gross because we have periods.” That’s all. She’s not saying, “Hey, periods are amazing!”
Honestly, some of these comments are really disheartening. A lot of people seem to be projecting their personal feelings onto this and seeing a message she wasn’t sending.
But are we made to feel shamed? Like I said above, I do not know any woman who, upon leaking, has been harassed for it. I don’t doubt it has happened, but is it happening at the level she seems to suggest? Most women hate leaks because, well, they stain your clothes. Getting one is a bummer and sucks for reasons that have nothing to do with shame or the patriarchy. She’s imputing a lot of motives to women that I am not sure exist.
I’m with you, Shamby!!! Thanks for all your comments here–agree 100%.
Aunt Flo might be “cute” but I don’t see that it’s harmful or reflective of shame or hiding as she states. As to the second part of that statement, were she promotes using “bleeding from my vagina.” Just no- that’s completely unnecessarily descriptive for everyday life when “period” will do.
Are women really “ashamed” of their periods? I’m 42 years old so I’ve been menstruating for a looong time now. I have had accidents in public and while I try to hide them, to me it’s more like covering up a coffee stain with a scarf; I just like my clothes to be clean and don’t want to call attention to stains. This does not mean that I’m ashamed of having my period.
Also, most of the hate that I saw directed at her was more about the fact that she is a white woman wearing locs, not about the fact that she is advocating “period awareness”.
I’m on the pill and that means, to my body, that I don’t get physical periods whilst I’m on them. Don’t fret, it’s perfectly safe and normal, I’ve checked with my doctor many times over the last 7 years. I certainly don’t miss getting my period but I do think women should be open and chat about them. It’s okay to bleed, it’s okay to get cramps and it’s okay to get really angry about, well, anything you like.
“Normalization” of women’s period should include IMO red instead of blue on tampons/pads/ladycups in any sort of TV or print commercials.
I remember reading somewhere that it had to do with tv resolutions or something. I can’t really remember, I’ll try to see if I can find it. They also use blue for diapers, toilet paper and paper towels
She just wants to have something to feel shamed over. This is so small in the grand scheme of the problems that women across the world face!
Well, there’s definitely a stigma and it worse with some people than with others. I deal with it every month with my otherwise normal boyfriend who is amazing 3 weeks of every month… but he finds periods so disgusting that he basically avoids touching me and will barely hug me the entire week I’m “off limits”. It’s like just the mere thought of blood coming out of his favorite orifice grosses him out so badly that he can barely handle being around me. He doesn’t have a phobia or anything, he just thinks female menstruation is the most revolting thing on the planet. It used to be really hurtful, because during periods, I’m in pain and want to be cuddled. But now I’ve accepted that he’s not going to change and the other 3 weeks of every month are worth the affection-deprived one, so I cope by staying distracted with netflix and pets. And this whole situation sounds even more depressing now that I’ve typed it out. I’m going to go eat chocolate and watch internet cat videos now.
Sounds like this is quite a major issue for him-maybe he should talk to a professional about his revulsion of a natural process – instead of treating you like a leper. Sorry if that’s harsh towards the person you love but his behaviour is pissing me off and I don’t even know him!
I really, really feel for you and I don’t mean to get into your personal business but you don’t deserve that. You are not an untouchable because you have a normal natural cycle. Make sure he treats you right and respects you in other areas of your relationship. Take good care of yourself. Know you are worth love and affection no matter what. How do you think someone like that would behave towards you during pregnancy or after child birth? Is he partner for life material? Just food for thought said out of love for a fellow woman. I hope none of what Ive said was taken as anything but just that, love and concern.
Okay, you didn’t personally feel shamed for having your period (even though most of the comments claiming as much still imply periods are something to be kept hush hush because they’re… shameful)? Lucky you! Lots of women did. And if you honestly don’t think misogyny plays a huge part in how societies around the world view and treat menstruation, I mean, come on.
Also…. having a medical condition where you physically can’t control your bowels/bladder is NOT the same as menstruating. Neither situation is something someone should feel shame about, but trying to imply the two are equivalent is really disingenuous.
Is interesting what she said about the period. However the “building a retreat in Costa Rica along with her instagram captions made me side eyed her. I know a couple of people that share her lifestyle and their rhetoric (about general subject) makes me roll my eyes.
I was never ashamed of my bodily function , but it can cause awkward moments if it isn’t tended to properly and be honest: it is kind of yucky, all that blood and thicker material that comes out . I don’t miss it. It had its moments where it just felt weird: you could feel the next ‘wave’ coming sometimes. Still, there was that stark moment where I realized that any lingering hope I harbored to have a child of my own was gone.
But I don’t miss it.
My experience with leaking, having to run to the washroom in the middle of class, cramps, etc. was that all the shaming and being made fun of or treated like a pariah came from boys. Boys and men. Because they’re afraid of women’s bodies – mystified by their miraculous internal workings that allow them to carry and give birth to another human being. And when boys and men are confused or frightened by something they usually attack it in order to look brave.
I remember my boyfriend in my mid-twenties (who is now my boyfriend the second time around, go figure!) treated my period with respect, continued to have sex with me during my period, never got squeamish or weird. This time around, post-menopause he nursed me like an angel through a recent bout of breast cancer surgery without a blink. He’s the kind of man all boys and men should model themselves after to help end shaming women for a natural, life-giving and wonderful process.
Personally I love what she is saying – I think there is a lot of disgust when it comes to periods and it’s even shown here in my favourite comment section! She is not advocating for free bleeding or anything like that, she is sharing her thoughts on the shame associated with a woman’s cycle (of course one felt much stronger in the non western world).
I have endometriosis which makes my time of the month literal hell. Like clockwork 10 days before the start I have major mood swings, intense pain that at times leaves me unable to move, and yet I must go on with my life of course and pretend this isn’t happening and I find the worst judges of this (if I happen to complain or need to take a day in bed) is WOMAN! I am made to feel I am not strong enough or am simply using something very real as an excuse which in turn shames me.
I could go on, like when in high school I was not told about a leak for a good few hours whilst others laughed, or when on the street a group of boys yelled degrading things to me on another occasion.
If you don’t see the shame she is talking about, then I feel you are fortunate~ despite the pain I feel every month I personally find it in myself to celebrate it as I am comfortable in being a woman with all the wonders and discomforts that come with it!
/End Rant.
Thank you! I have been reading through the comments and the further down I get the more depressed I am. I read this site daily and every comment that goes with it. If someone was new to this site and started on this article they would never know this was a group of progressive, “woke”, women. I personally have been shamed multiple times in my life over my period. I have had harassment by male peers, guidance counselors that didn’t have a smidge of sympathy the first day my period showed up at school and stained my pants, feeling ashamed when having to out loud ask another classmate for a tampon, etc. When you start your period younger than your peers it can also cause one to feel shame. You are one of few experiencing it and it feels lonely. We weren’t all raised the same in the same culture. Where is the empathy one usually finds here?
Spot on (ha bad pun!) both of you! 🙂
Oh please. The equivalent to this is peeing or shitting your pants, posting it publicly, then crying wolf when people say—TMI. I have no shame with my period, but I recognize that our culture has certain values and beliefs around privacy. Privacy for sex, masturbation, going the bathroom. All normal and non-shaming body functions, but no need to flaunt to the public and play the poor suffering woman game.
I think it would be more accurate to compare menstruation leaking to a person bleeding from an injury they got than poop or pee, since both involve blood. In both cases, it’s an unsanitary bodily fluid that nobody wants on furniture or floors. But I just can’t see a celebrity or non-famous person who posts a selfie/photoshoot involving blood from an injury (or some vampire-ish or horror photoshoot involving fake blood) getting the outrage, annoyance, and TMI-reaction that a celebrity or non-famous person who did a menstruation selfie or even a menstruation photoshoot involving fake blood. There certainly wouldn’t be death threats over it. Same with an artist who does a drawing of a character bleeding from something involving injury/violence vs. an artist who does a drawing of a character bleeding from menstruation.
My period is a gross, unpleasant experience and not something I’m ever okay with allowing to stain my clothes, but I don’t usually feel any shame talking about it and other people talking about menstruation doesn’t feel like a TMI.
Just because menstruation is natural and we can’t control it doesn’t mean it is not disgusting. It’s blood. Blood is disgusting. It is unsanitary. It should be treated as such.
And “free bleeding”? As someone who at 12 had a flow so heavy she literally could not get through one class period without bleeding through her clothes even though she wore the heaviest pads, and had to go on birth control to stop it, f that “free bleeding” noise. No one wants to deal with someone else’s blood getting all over public furniture.
Maybe Steph doesn’t have to worry about bowel control, but there are plenty of people that do. Essentially, an accident of either origin is embarrassing. Both are results of bodily functions that not everyone wants to share with the world.
I do agree with the core of the message, which is menstruation is a normal thing that we shouldn’t be ashamed of. However, I think the impactful way they are trying to push it though is a bit too in your face and it generates the opposite effect (not talking about the yogi in particular, but other more graphic activists).
I also have an issue with anyone pushing tampons or cups as the “one you should use”. Some women have conditions like vaginismus and they just can’t put something inside their vaginas.
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I’d like to buy a vowel before I solve the puzzle, Pat.
I really can’t speak to this woman’s intentions because my personal shit is way too tied up and close to the surface for me to be objective. *Personally*, I have yet to meet a yoga-person (I mean an instructor of- not a person who just does- yoga) who isn’t a self-serving, self-aggrandizing, borderline narcissistic wolf wrapped in lamb’s clothing, so anything this person (or others of her ilk) says is going to get the side-eye from me. Having said that, I think it’s safe to assume that period-shaming happens to some women somewhere sometimes. If it has never happened to you, that’s great. If it has, that sucks and also that’s stupid. Period shaming should not even be a Thing. There are a lot of Things that shouldn’t be a Thing, but they are. Accept this fact. JUST DO IT. ACCEPT IT.
If women want to talk about their periods, they should. If they don’t want to, they ain’t gotta. If you don’t want to hear about periods but you do by accident…. well…. I mean… into everyone’s life a little rain must fall, you know? You won’t die from being exposed to a conversation you don’t care for. I know this because I’m a nurse who has seen assorted illnesses and injuries and never seen one single person die of being grossed out or whatever. If you don’t believe me, next time you get grossed out go to your nearest ER or Urgent Care Center and be seen.
Better yet, call an ambulance and be treated on-scene.
It’s weird to me how much of an issue menstruation is. Basically that is what I got from all this. That and I still don’t trust yoga teachers.
im sorry but…. while i use to feel like having a period was an other worldly thing back in the day …its still kinda messy and gross… i mean just a few days ago… i sneeze and because I had my Aunt in town that week (flow) i knew i was a blood baby and was scared to standup… not for shame of something natural but of the fear of having to clean a huge bloody mess. TMI i know
and doing yoga while bleeding is just doing the most…. like ok we get it you bleed, millions of women do. get over it.