Yesterday we heard that Mel B, Scary Spice from the Spice Girls and a judge on America’s Got Talent, had been abused by her husband of ten years, Stephen Belafonte. The details in Mel’s request for a restraining order included repeated incidents of severe physical abuse, emotional abuse, threats of ruining her career by releasing sex tapes and sexual coercion. Stephen had even gotten their nanny pregnant and paid her off with Mel’s money. It was heartbreaking and brought it home that anyone can be a victim of abuse, and that it can go on for years without people close to the victim realizing what’s going on, or the extent of it. In Mel’s case there were multiple incidents which her friends and coworkers knew about and could not convince her to get help for, which is typical for abusive situations. Her wealth and fame may have kept people from acting to protect her, however that surely happens to victims of all socioeconomic backgrounds. TMZ has a story about how Mel covered up the abuse and asked friends not to report it, because she was afraid for her life and her children’s lives.
Multiple sources close to Mel B tell us … a close circle of friends and family didn’t believe her when she explained away various injuries, and when they confronted her, she had trouble hiding what she now says is the truth … that she was being viciously attacked by Belafonte.
We’re told some of the people who confronted her said they were going to call the cops and report him, but she became emotional and begged them to stand down, and not just because she was in fear for her life. She believed anyone who blew the whistle on Belafonte would become his target as well.
As we reported, people who were on various TV shows with Mel B were aware of a slew of injuries she suffered and they also saw Belafonte on the set and witnessed what some called his abusive and threatening behavior. Yet, as far as we can tell — and this is consistent with her declaration — no one from any show ever called the cops to report alleged domestic violence.
People Magazine has quotes from a domestic violence expert who explains that this is typical and that victims often try to hide the abuse for fear of it escalating. Mel also rightfully feared for her children. Stephen started a relationship with their 20 year-old German nanny, pitting the nanny against Mel and using the relationship to drive a wedge between Mel and her children. In the restraining order posted on TMZ, Mel reveals that when she was in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt (which Stephen blocked her from getting help for, telling her to “die bitch”) the nanny took their children with her to Germany from the US and then to London. It was only after the authorities got involved that the nanny came back with them to LA. All of this was done with Mel’s money too. Stephen stole millions from her including over $300k to pay off the nanny, who aborted Stephen’s child, and $325k to pay back child support to his first wife. He was able to get the money by logging into Mel’s email account and communicating with her accountant to approve expenditures. There’s even more in the document, including a car break in that Stephen staged to scare Mel and excessive harassment and monitoring by Stephen.
Mel finally got the courage to leave Stephen after the death of her father last month. Stephen was exceptionally cruel to her around that time and stole her passport so she couldn’t fly to visit her father on his deathbed. She was able to get an emergency passport and be with her father in London for his final days, but that was the catalyst for her to leave him. Of course Stephen threatened to release the sex tapes and ruin Mel’s career.
The clock may be running out for that POS Stephen. Over the weekend ATF agents raided his house for guns, which he is legally prohibited from owning following a domestic violence conviction in 2003. While they didn’t find any firearms, they did find a bullet and an empty shell casing. Plus testimony from Mel and from others that he owned a gun may be enough to put him away. Here’s hoping that he faces jail time. This story just makes me sick to my stomach and I hope Mel has good friends and family around her at this time.
This photo is from 12-31-16:
Photos credit: PRPhotos
Oh em gee, the more that is revealed, tge worst it gets. This is just horrifying. Her kids were taken out of the country without her permission? I hope some of the allegations are proven and in turn this guy gets jail time.
This sounds like a living nightmare!
Mel, keep moving forward and do not look back!!!!
Not just taken out of the country without her permission, they were taken by her husbands mistress who Mel had been forced to share a house with and pay a salary to. Its so insidious my brain hurts.
He would be fun for me to be alone with for 30 minutes. My head is exploding. Please God.
He always had the biggest creep factor, even on the short lived reality show something was slime ball about him.
He’s the true definition of a POS. Makes me wonder what drew her to him. So glad she found the courage to break free from this abusive scumbag.
Think he came into her life when she was in a vunerable place. She was dealing with the paternity situation with Murphy and her pregnancy,so this sleazeball found a way to slither in. Just glad she & her children are safe now.
When a woman is dealing with abuse, the predators swoop in for the kill. My divorce lawyer literally took my retainer and said he never received it, but my bank showed it was deposited into his trust account. A traumatized person is vulnerable for more abuse.
Ugh! this stuff is breaking my heart for her… how TERRIBLE, to think all these years she’s just been dealing with this insanity.. in silence
That’s how vicious it becomes. It sounds horrible but you also feel lost because you get ‘used’ to the abuse, it’s like a routine of the worst kind.
I got this ‘treatment’ from my father since I was a baby, broke free when I was about 25, it didn’t even feel true for the following ten years that it was over. I felt safe only when I stopped even talking to him and little contact at all for the last 10 years.
My prayers and hugs to poor Mel x
How awful for you, SilverUnicorn. Coming from an abusive family background, I understand. The torment doesn’t simply end just because or when you finally leave. I’m glad you’re in a better place now.
@SilverUnicorn: Hugs to you as well. It must have been incredibly difficult to break away. I’m glad you are in a better place. Wishing you happiness and love.
I can relate silver. My father was a terrible human being , and I broke free from him 17 years ago . It was the best decision I ever made. I got a phone call from my brother in November to let me know that he passed away . The immediate feeling was relief. That the ugly chapter was finally over . None of the kids went to his funeral . My father’s legacy was one of pain .
@silverunicorn i am so sorry you went through this. Im 31 and have such a complicated relationship with my father, as in, I guess I suppressed most of my trauma (verbal abuse) and now that he’s trying to make amends I feel too bad to cut him off because hes older now and I don’t want him to feel alone – even though he has my Mom. So on the one hand I wish I could have had this more … “Loving” parent as I grew up, and wish I had grown into a much more secure and happy woman as a result.
Except, I can’t rub off this feeling of being an irredeemable failure. So yeah. Abuse is abuse and it scars you for life.
It’s horrible to think what she went through. And her silence, although I agree that it was out of fear, was probably also out of shame, because after a man has abused you so severely you do feel a misplaced sense of shame. I know you shouldn’t, but you just can’t help it. You feel damaged and lowered and you don’t want anyone to know what he did to you. And of course it continues and your shame and fear continue to grow until you are rendered literally unable to do anything. It’s the living embodiment of the cliché “vicious cycle.”
I agree the shame is big part. Especially for women who project strength and confidence to the world. Ladies, no one who is your true friend will judge you. Get help, your friends want to be there for you. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.
thank goodness she got out. he probably would have eventually killed her.
Exactly this.
She must now try to put things in place to eventually enjoy and celebrate surviving.
Christ. I’m glad she got out and hope she and the kids stay safe.
(I also hope someone keeps an eye out for the nanny – this will likely not end well for her, either.)
I think by going so public with what a horrific, abusive creep he is she wants to ensure that she doesn’t cave and go back. I remember when she left him a few years ago and went back and blew off rumors.
This man is so obviously the very worst of the worst, there’s a huge amount of evidence against him, and yet still I’ve seen some truly dismaying victim blaming comments around the Internet along the lines of ‘if she’s such a strong woman, why didn’t she leave earlier?’ or ‘Only a bad mother would bring her kids into this situation’. I really, really hope she’s safe and has a good support system.
Just because this man is disgusting does not mean that she can’t be strong. I tend to question this notion, and the blanket ideal that a victim of domestic violence has zero control over their situation.
I sometimes wonder if that ideal actually perpetuates victimhood. Either way, it’s a sad situation for her, and I’m glad he’s been outed for what he is.
I don’t know enough about the subject for my options to be qualified, these are just my thoughts.
Please tell me Stephen is not related to singer and humanitarian, Harry Belafonte.
Nope. No relation at all.
It’s part of his grifting ways. His real name is Stansbury or Stanbury, but he changed it to Belafonte so people would assume he was related to Harry Belafonte, and he could pretend those assumptions were pure coincidence.
As if the name Belafonte, in Hollywood, wouldn’t invite those associations.
I didnt know this! I thought he was related to Harry Belafonte because he honestly does kind of look like a bald chubby version of a young Belafonte. He was definitely trying to exploit that resemblance by changing his name. This man is a sociopath.
no, but he banks on that. he wants people make that assumption.
Not related, he changed his last name to Belafonte so that people would think he was though.
No, he is not…but he tried to cash on it. POS on so many levels.
He wanted the attention from the assumptions and also to hide his criminal record.
I believe her.
In our current society somehow that seems the most important thing to say.
All that money and friends with money that could afford armed 24 hour security if needed and she was still too frightened to get out. If that doesn’t just sum up domestic violence? Horrifying.
While I don’t want anyone’s privacy invaded I am curious as to the status of the nanny. Is she away from him? Is she working as a nanny? Should she be?
Mia4s: Here’s the current lead story on Daily Mail, which I haven’t yet read:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4378822/German-nanny-sex-Mel-B-husband-Stephen-Belafonte.html
Huh. Thanks @Annakist. I’m not sure what to think. I must say it sounds like she had little interest in being a “nanny”. She’s not around this guy though so at least that’s something. Although with the DailyFail who knows!!
I remember years ago they briefly split and I heard about abuse allegations. don’t understand how she went back. Hopefully now she is safe
Perhaps it’s good you don’t understand how she went back to him, that means you are not/have never been in an abusive relationship. It’s not for us to understand how or why, it’s up to us to support victims of abuse.
Jesus. The guy is a unhinged. I hope she has lots of security.
i think she left him a few times the last one being in 2014. but in 2012 there was already this incident with her car “being stolen” but in fact he took it from her. But you can tell that this POS thought he bagged a Trophee Wife and the creep factor was always whenever he walked the red carpet and he almost squeezes her barely leaving an inch of space between she and him. all the while lurking at her breasts as to tell everyone “Look what i got”. the good thing is she has money so she can walk away. Melissa George is another story. i feel for abused women. Money or not there is always a “behind the door’
I’d love to know what she first saw in him because to the rest of the world he’s always looked like he was an abusive tosser. Lust is obviously deaf, dumb and blind.
This is nowhere as simple as you think. This isnt just blind lust or love. He hooked up with her during the Eddie Murphy paternity case. Eddie was publicly disavowing their unborn baby and he had to be forced to undergo paternity tests by a court. He was planting stories that she fell pregnant to milk him of child support and Mel was forced to publicly declare her worth to show that that didnt make sense and declare she wouldnt ask for support, only his name on the birth certificate. Eddie still barely has any contact with his daughter although he will sometimes ask Mel to bring her to a red carpet event like Shrek related premiers.
Anyway, all of this to say, this guy is a sociopathic predator. He knew exactly HOW to select a woman with an affinity for sociopaths. And he knew WHEN to pounce…at her most vulnerable. And he knew WHAT to say to a person in that state.
I think there’s something to be said for paying attention to red flags. The guy had a previous domestic violence conviction. He was also going around telling people be was Harry Belafonte’s son. He’s a violent conman. Some things don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.
When you’re wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags.
That is such a great comment
In the Daily Mail column it looks like Mel said she didn’t know any of that before the marriage.
I know Tania. And she married him in Vegas after about two or three months of knowing him, with all her pregnancy hormones running wild. I sympathize with her but GEEZ – spend a year with someone before you tie yourself to them for better or worse. It’s easier to dump a loser that you’re dating rather than someone you legally married. Perhaps this will be a warning for others. We can hope.
I’m so proud of her for having the strength to leave him. This happens far too often and so many women just stay in it because they are brainwashed and scared. We all support you mel!
What a sicko and that nanny too should b in prison for kidnapping. She’s been named in the Fail so she can kiss goodbye to her career.
Mel is doing the right think by going public herself as it frees her from his blackmail. I wonder if she sicced the Feds onto him? The scumbag will get his in a US prison as they r not the nice cushy places some of them in the UK are.
Poor dear. Reminds me – so much – of the Celeste character on Big Little Lies.
He’s a piece of shit and deserves to rot in jail. Here’s hoping she’ll ruin him in court. The nanny should face some consequences too, imo, how could she just take the kids away like that??
That’s what I want to know, too. At least where I’m from when a minor travels with ONE parent they still need a Court’s authorization to take said minor out of the country. It’s even worse if parents are not married.
I don’t imagine the nanny is as much a villain as it might seem.
A 20 year old foreigner possibly coerced into a sexual relationship with an abusive man? It wasn’t all happy days for her. He paid for her abortion or forced her to get one? She took the kids after Mel attempted suicide – for all we know, he made her take them.
It’s possible she’s an evil temptress looking for her pay day but I’d be willing to bet she too is a victim.
Why isn’t the nanny being investigated?! How on earth did she manage to take 3 children (2 of them minors) from the country? I get that maybe the youngest child might have had a parental permit because she is Belafonte’s child, but the other three aren’t. How come this isn’t kidnapping? Any lawyers at CB who can explain this to me?
The more I read the more tragic this becomes. I am glad she got out when she could, and with her life, but I am so sorry she had to endure 10 years of torture. Hopefully this is the beginning of the end and she, and her children, can move on to a better life.
I agree totally! This nanny needs to be investigated & obviously not working with children. Who does she think it is ok to take someone else’s kids out of the country?
Stephen Belafonte….rot in hell!
That was my other take away as well! How did the nanny pull this off? He must have adopted the other kids and/or had some legal guardianship and was able to authorize her travel, I guess? And seriously, enough of these predatory nannies already! It makes me ashamed to be a woman.
Gosh, what a nightmare. I hope Mel and her kids are okay.
He’s a monster and I hope he gets locked up. The nanny seems like a real c*nt too (and that is not a word I use lightly). I hope Mel B is staying strong and has a good support system.
I’m a bit wary of throwing stones at the nanny. This guy is a creep, an abuser, a master manipulator and managed to control and terrorise Scary Spice for a decade. The nanny was very young at the time, she must have been only a teenager when she started working for the family. She might be a c*nt but she also might be another of his victims.
Being strong doesn’t protect you from abuse.
Being wealthy doesn’t protect you from abuse.
Having supportive family and friends doesn’t protect you from abuse.
Abusers cause abuse, not the victim. If you have suffered physical or emotional violence from a partner, controlling or isolating behaviour, you are not at fault. What you wear is not the reason. Who you talked to is not the reason. How you talk is not the reason.
The reason is that your abuser is not well.
Mel is very brave to share her story, and I hope it brings to light the common behaviours of DV survivors, and abusers themselves, as there still seems to be much confusion as to how a survivor acts.
I hope Mel to get the security, clarity and happiness she deserves.
This. +100000000000!
Dysfunctional relationships always work hand in glove – it’s not simply a one-way street emanating from the abuser. He sounds like a malignant, sociopathic type and those personalities always seek a vulnerable target precisely bc he can control her much easier than a woman whose bullshit radar is firmly in place. That she got herself is fantastic and she needs all the support she can get. It’s not in question that this guy has a shitty character; at the same time the onus is now on her to understand WHY she was so receptive to a predatory shite and ensure it never happens again. Emotionally vulnerable people who are that way usually due to family of origin issues (male or female) get shredded, which makes it so urgent that they know what the unhealthy dynamics were to begin with.
I mean ‘got herself OUT’…!
Totally agree. Many many women would ditch a man as soon as they found out he had a past of violence against another woman and killing a duck with a brick. I take it he convinced Mel that the woman he battered deserved it and provoked him but I don’t know how he convinced her that a duck deserved to be battered to death with a brick. She then thought it was ok to allow him to be around her children for many many years. Every one is agreed he is a pos but I do not agree that this could happen to just anyone.
So am I wrong here, or are you trying to put blame on the victims for not adequately understanding their situation?
Compassionate, that.
Interesting how domestic abusers, others we call terrorists and dictatorial leaders around the world all share similar techiniques to control their victims.
I hope Mel is on the path to healing inside and out and has good people around her. What a nightmare.
What a shit show. I’m glad she’s getting rid of the scumbag, may he rot in jail. I feel sorry for her and the kids and what they had to live through, and these horrible details of abuse that her kids will have to read about.
My heart goes out to Mel, get safe and away and start over. All the best luck and support she needs to move on will be there for her.
Lord! The initial reports were incredibly disturbing and this just gets more horrifying. It’s sad it took her father’s death to make her realize she needed to get out. Or well she probably already knew but that was the last straw. She unfortunately shares a kid with Belafonte so despite that he is a poor excuse of a human being, she will never entirely be rid of him. Praying she gets full custody.
My heart goes out to women like Mel who with her track record, must obviously just have horrible taste in men. But what I can’t understand is why female celebrities continue to hire gorgeous 20 something women, who have NEVER had children, to be their nanny??? It’s like leaving a loaded gun on the table and hoping the kids don’t touch it.
It’s a basic decency and respect for others issue, not a ‘don’t hire people of a certain gender and age’ issue. (Especially since a spouse who doesn’t have enough respect or boundaries to not sleep with/ groom a young employee probably also doesn’t have the respect and decency to not sleep with other people too).
God, this is awful. I can’t help but wonder if he was manipulating the nanny in the exact same way he was manipulating Mel, though. In any case I hope the guy gets put away.