Gwyneth Paltrow’s inane thoughts on beauty, fashion, diet, exercise and “wellness” are now going to be available in print form. That’s right, people. Goop: The Magazine is coming. The idea for a Gwyneth-soaked, Gwyneth-curated, Gwyneth-centric magazine was thought up by Gwyneth and Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, because this is what happens when you put Nuclear Wintour and Dame Gwyneth in a room together.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop is partnering with Condé Nast to expand the company’s media footprint. The New York-based magazine publisher will coproduce a quarterly special print issue of Goop that will hit newsstands in September. As part of the initial print rollout, Condé will work with Goop on digital and social content. According to Goop, the magazine (also dubbed Goop), will launch with a steady stream of coproduced, co-branded digital content that will be distributed across select Condé Nast titles’ web sites, goop.com and the brand’s social channels.

Goop said the majority of content in each print issue would be “original and produced by Goop, while the creative is an artistic collaboration between Goop and Condé Nast.” A spokeswoman clarified that the “artistic collaboration” includes some visuals and images from Condé.

Conceptualized as a collectible edition, the magazine is meant to translate the brand’s popular verticals into headlining sections. Some of those verticals include health and fitness, cooking and recipes, style and design and other lifestyle-centric subjects such as wellness and travel. For this collaboration, all multiplatform content experiences will revolve around a wellness theme — central to both companies’ missions. Condé Nast has been hoping to capitalize on wellness and health following the closure of Self magazine last year. Although Self still has a digital presence, adding Goop could help it to shore up credibility in the health and wellness sphere, which is quite lucrative.

The partnership between the brand and the publisher was born out of a conversation between Goop founder and chief executive officer Paltrow and Anna Wintour, Condé Nast artistic director and editor in chief of Vogue.

“Anna is a powerhouse, and one of the most admirable thought-leaders in media,” Paltrow said. “Collaborating with her and Condé Nast on this multiplatform content partnership, anchored by Goop’s emergence into a physical entity, was an opportunity for us to push our boundaries visually and deliver Goop’s point of view to consumers in new, dynamic ways.”

Wintour added: “I’ve long known Gwyneth to have wonderful taste and vision — but with Goop she has built something remarkable, a thoroughly modern take on how we live today. Goop and Condé Nast are natural partners and I’m excited she’s bringing her point of view to the company. We all look forward to working with her and her team.”

[From WWD]

Goop is “a thoroughly modern take on how we live today” is… a very interesting way to describe Gwyneth’s Goop project. I guess I too could be thoroughly modern if only I was A) rich, B) white, C) on a crazy goat-milk-only diet, D) shilling personally-branded vitamins and E) a huge, gaping, prolapsed a–hole. Basically, Anna Wintour and Gwyneth thought this would be absolutely charming and all of those peasants desperately need to have a quarterly magazine.

Imagine the cover lines:

Jade Eggs and Where You Should Stick Them
What Hollywood’s Top Psychics Think About Quinoa
Culture-clash: When Your Faith-Healer Disagrees with Your Personal Pharmacist
How to Spend Your $1 Million Bonus
Bathed in Unicorn Tears: The True Fountain of Youth
Should You Spend $75K On This Year’s It Bag? YES!
Help! I Ate a Peanut, Am I Fat Now?

Photos courtesy of WENN.