While I love the Olympics and Olympian stories, I have to admit that I totally blanked out on Sanya Richards-Ross, possibly because I tend to phase out the Olympian stories in the second week, which is when all of the running starts up. I prefer Week 1: gymnastics, swimming and tennis. Anyway, Sanya is a four-time Olympic gold medalist. She won gold in Athens, Beijing and London, and she picked up a bronze in Rio. You can see her Wiki here. Sanya has a new memoir out called Chasing Grace. In the memoir, she describes her decision to terminate an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy just one day before she flew out to Beijing for the Olympics.
Five-time Olympic medalist Sanya Richards-Ross reveals in a new memoir that she had an abortion just weeks before sprinting in the 2008 Summer Olympic Games — a decision she says cost her more than a gold medal.
“Over the phone, we didn’t go into details,” the 32-year-old writes about the decision she made with fiancé (now husband) Aaron Ross to have the abortion. “As if not saying it would alleviate some of the guilt and the shame.”
Chasing Grace: What the Quarter Mile Has Taught Me About God and Life releases on Tuesday and delves into her faith, her career as a runner and her romance with Ross, 34, a cornerback for the New York Giants. In 2008, they were engaged and planned to marry in February 2010. The pregnancy was unexpected, especially as they both were beginning their professional athletic careers. Richards-Ross, proudly Jamaican-American, wanted Olympic gold.
“Everything I ever wanted seemed to be within reach,” she writes. “The culmination of a lifetime of work was right before me. In that moment, it seemed like no choice at all. The debate of when life begins swirled through my head, and the veil of a child out of wedlock at the prime of my career seemed unbearable. What would my sponsors, my family, my church, and my fans think of me?”
According to Chasing Grace, Ross wasn’t present during the procedure because he was at training camp. While it was done “quickly,” she couldn’t escape the emotional pain.
“I made a decision that broke me, and one from which I would not immediately heal,” she writes. “Abortion would now forever be a part of my life. A scarlet letter I never thought I’d wear. I was a champion— and not just an ordinary one, but a world-class, record-breaking champion. From the heights of that reality I fell into a depth of despair.”
The next day she flew to Beijing for the Olympics and prepared to win gold, even though her doctor recommended she avoid exercise for two weeks following the procedure. The night before her 300 meter race she couldn’t sleep and the next day her “confidence was diminishing.”
During the race, Richards-Ross got a cramp in her hamstring and came in at third place when she expected to win. She describes being “broken, physically and emotionally.”
Sanya and Aaron Ross married in 2010, and she’s pregnant right now – she announced her pregnancy back in February of this year. While I’m a strident pro-choice advocate, I know that for many women, it’s not a black-and-white issue. There are a lot of mixed emotions and doubts and yes, even some regrets. I would never presume to say that every woman who has an abortion believes she made the right choice. But I will say that it’s a choice every woman should make for herself, as opposed to having that choice made for her by her father or her Congressman or her president. That being said, this language of “a scarlet letter I never thought I’d wear” doesn’t help anyone. You made a difficult choice. Other women need the freedom to make their own choices without that kind of narrative.
Now, I get that Sanya is just trying to tell her story, but I also felt like… girl, don’t have an abortion the day before the Olympics!! Good God. But then I started wondering about the complicated doping tests and what would happen if she competed while pregnant – I’m sure the tests would reveal her pregnancy? – and then had the abortion after the Olympics. Like, if that came out, would her sponsors drop her?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Sigh, I’m probably going to bungle this response. I agree, the language used is not helping anyone. I get real eye-rolly when I’m told that one day I will regret it. It’s been 7 years and still one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. And I’m very thankful that I got to make that choice for myself. Every woman should get to tell her story, but I cringe when I hear that scarlet letter stuff. Maybe I’m a terrible feminist.
i’m with you!
I had 2 in my twenties. I feel stupid for getting in that position but I don’t feel shame or regret. They were accidents at bad times and am glad I had them. I’m now in my 40s and trying for my first child. I’ve had 2 miscarriages. But I still have no regrets. I want a child now, not then. If I hadn’t had those abortions I wouldn’t be where I am today with my OH.
I had one 8 years ago and still no regrets. It was the right decision for that time in my life (senior year of college).
She obviously has some issues surrounding her experience that she needs to work out, but she shouldn’t make judgy comments about it (the scarlet letter comment was completely offensive to me).
If we are honest, the reason she even feels this way is due to a lifetime of exposure to a judgemental society that strives to tell women who get abortions how they should feel. If we lived in a society that allowed us to view this as no more than having a period, would she be feeling this way much less describing it in this judgemental language?
Craven, I’m sorry, women should have the freedom of choice, but we really shouldn’t live in a society that would allow us to see abortion as no more than having a period. That is a completely horrific comparison.
No i agree. While not everyone is relieved or doesn’t have regrets they still should be able to make that decision. I don’t think abortion is an easy decision for anyone (something I loathe when I hear that pandered on the pro-life side).
Her wording sounds so judgmental and yea not a fan of how she worded it.
For some people it is an easy choice , for me it wasn’t a difficult decision at all, and I’ve never regretted it. Everyone is different.
I had a friend that I went with to PP. She was back and forth up until the minute. 10+ years and therapy later and she doesn’t regret it but she had a hard time. These are the stories we need to hear about. Because sometimes people act like women are just waltzing in to get abortions
Same!
A full cosign cee emm cee that’s exactly how I felt.. this language of shame is super unhelpful and also as a woman that had a procedure in my not so early 20s to this day all that floods me is the relief, nothing else but relief
+1!!!!! Same here. What’s with the “scarlet letter” nonsense?
+ 1 along with a high five!! Nothing but relief over here as well!!
I think Craven is on to something relevant; some of us get very severe messages about sexuality, women’s roles, abortion and of course we all absorb these messages differently. I wish her the best.
And I wish for CHOICE.
“I get real eye-rolly when I’m told that one day I will regret it.” Yeah, the “There have been other women who have regretted X, so we as a society should not be promoting the idea that it’s okay for women to do this or that their right to make this decision with their bodies should be respected” argument is a card that gets played with a lot of issues that have to do with women’s rights/ feminism/ decisions about the body. It’s an argument that’s often used to rationalize bigotry, keep promoting stereotypes, and restrict women’s rights. (It’s right up there with the “Those People were happier with less rights/ Feminism is Ruining Women” card. That’s why I automatically get eye-rolly when someone starts with that argument too. Having the option of making decisions you may or may not regret later is a part of being human. Some members of a group regretting something doesn’t mean that all members of that group will- women are not a monolith. And somebody else’s ‘regret’ doesn’t justify taking away another person’s right or something others need access to.
I too am with you, it was the best decision I could have made for my life. I want to roll my eye’s at the scarlet letter reference. Since when did making a responsible decision and honoring your mental and physical needs brand you?
I really wish abortion didn’t have such a stigmatism attached to it and we could freely talk about it and support each other without judgement or bad feelings.
Thank goodness for all of you lovely commentors 🙂
It was obviously a difficult decision and this is her story, but her choice of words is very off-putting.
I grew up pro-life but as you get older, you realize the decision isn’t always black and white. I still can’t believe we are having the argument about whether it should be legal or not
We have to keep t having the argument because a sad, sickly large minority don’t think women have equal worth. It’s disgusting.
She also then went to Sports Illustrated and said “every” track athlete has had an abortion. Exact quote: “I literally don’t know another female track-and-field athlete who hasn’t had an abortion – and that’s sad.”
WTF? I feel for her difficult choice, while appreciating she was able to freely make it. Muddying the waters — and propagating stereotypes of women of color — is not helping. I can only imagine how those women, who shared their stories with her in solidarity and comfort, feel now. Don’t make it harder for your friends, teammates and fellow females is kind of the main rule of sisterhood.
Sure, cause every runner is obviously black.
Wonder who is prejudiced here?
Apologies if I phrased it poorly, but the reality is that a majority percentage of our US track athletes, particularly the sprinters, are women of color. I find this neither here nor there, but an athlete in those ranks saying they’ve “all” have abortions could easily play into many people’s stereotypes.
More importantly, I, personally, find it ludicrous to say that “all” members of any race, religion or social group have done, or couldn’t have done, something. The concept is simply not credible. Despite preached beliefs, there will be a percentage of evangelical women that have had abortions. Or the Amish, for that matter. Across every group of women, in places it’s legal and easy, and those where it’s punishable by death, women will have, or attempt to procure, abortions for many, many different reasons. In no community is the percentage of women who have sought abortion 0%, nor in any is it 100%.
In fact, worldwide studies have shown that abortion rates where it’s legal vs illegal are actually quite similar, though complications and maternal death in the latter are much higher. Meaning: laws preventing a medical procedure are actually counterproductive to actually
preserving life. The best prevention for abortion — which I do believe should be a legal, personal and shame-free CHOICE for EVERYONE — is access to
birth control and fact-based sex education.
I’m also a staunch pro choice women . I will defend a woman’s right of choice in every facets of her life. You are in charge of your life, it belongs to you and you know what’s right for you. Nobody should second guess your decisions about anything , it’s nobodies business .
Abortion is still a taboo subject for a lot of people . We know it’s a safe and reasonable choice for women , but people approach it like a dirty secret . I think if we have an honest conversation and talk about it more, it will take the stigma out and actually help the pro choice movement . I really could go on, but I won’t .
Agree, talking about abortion and the feelings (regretful or not) around it is good. Talking about it like this? I’m not so sure.
To be clear … Ms Richards, of course, should tell her own story anyway she chooses. It is, after all, HER story.
My concern comes with her wider generalizations and stating as fact that all track athletes have abortions then calling that statistically gross misstatement “sad.” Those things are much more problematic.
Her story is her own and I do find her generalization troubling .
She should get to tell her story. It’s hard to tell though if the message she’s trying to get across is “I regret my own abortion, and in my line of work there’s pressure on women to get abortions even if it’s something they wish they didn’t have to do” or “Women getting abortions is sad. Here’s my obligatory little ‘repentant sinner’ story.” If it’s the latter, that’s definitely not helpful. But if not, adding that she still supports women’s right to safe, legal abortion would have cleaned that up a bit.
I had an abortion 10 years ago. I had moments where I bawled and hated myself and regretted it, but that passed. I made the best decision possible for the circumstances and now do not regret my decision.
And yeah, her wording was bad.
I am passionately pro choice but I know I would still feel guilty about having an abortion myself. Staying with the father and eventually conceiving another child would make those feelings even more complicated.
I think that’s what kind of makes her situation different. She’s still with the guy and now they’re married and having a baby, so it’s almost like she’ll never be able to move past it and say for certain she doesn’t regret it. She ties the olympics into it in an odd kind of way when she describes her emotions. If she’d have won gold would it have been the right decision?
The only nice thing I have to say about her choice of words is that she didn’t put this on other women directly. She didn’t say “Think hard, you will most likely regret it.” Although she comes close. If she feels like this broke her, then that’s how she feels. But to say she bears the scarlet letter??? This is 2017, get a grip. Young women look for role models and you’re an Olympic athlete. It sounds to me that this entire thing was less about the baby and more about the appearance.
And one day before the Olympics? That can’t be healthy. Athletes have competed pregnant and usually, if you’re healthy, it’s not that big of a problem. I’m not sure how the doping tests work but would anyone have leaked that she’s pregnant?
I have no idea if doping tests would reveal a pregnancy, but I don’t think that an abortion right before the Olympics would make a difference as your hormone levels need some time to drop?
I’m 99 % sure that her HCG levels would still be pretty high that soon after an abortion.
If she was suffering from exhaustion and morning sickness, she may have been concerned that continuing the pregnancy would affect her performance more than the abortion. Or she may have mentally needed to follow through on her decision as quickly as possible.
It sounds like she’s struggling with some internalized self-hatred/misogny. It appears she’s pretty religious, so maybe she grew up believing abortion is sinful and murderous, like some in the church believe, and now she’s projecting that onto her experience and onto every other woman who makes the choice to abort. Definitely not the right way to approach this conversation, but I think I understand why she’s speaking this way.
And imo it sounds like the fact that she lost the gold has a lot to do with why the experience “broke” her, which is unfair to abortion. That’s on her, for having an abortion and competing a day later.
Religion sounds important to her. Certain denominations are harder than others on abortion, and I don’t doubt that has colored her experience.
Theres a tricky line when talking about shame, especially underserved shame. She didn’t do the best job here with that line.
She seems very troubled by the whole experience, maybe having a chid will help put it behind her. Still, I find her language extremely off-putting to say the leasr.
This is so interesting to be because I’m very pro-choice, but I guess I always imagined women undertaking the procedure did so because they were unwed women, mothers to other children and financial strapped, women going to college or about to graduate from college. I never imagined a women with means would abort a fetus. I mean, her finance was at training camp for the NFL. She herself could have won a gold at the olympics. Look at Serena Williams, winning a grand slam while pregnant. Any how, not my business. She made the choice. I’m pro-choice. I just wonder if she herself is with the comment: “A scarlet letter I never thought I’d wear.” Aborts are for other people, not me. Okay, whatever.
Most women who have abortions in the US are married and have at least one child already. The stereotypes about the “type” of women who have abortions are part of the pro-life propaganda.
This!!!! Thank you @TQB
Ooooh, I was hoping she’d word this just a little bit better. She’s telling her story and her experience and her feelings, I get that, but as someone staunchly pro-choice, I want everyone with a platform to include a recognition that they expressed their choice. That a safe, accessible facility offered them a choice that should be given to all women, no matter what.
(And since we’re sharing, my abortion was seven year ago, and while it was emotional, I too have had no regrets.)
Feelings of regret are perfectly relevant to the abortion conversation. It’s one of the reasons why it is a choice – a deeply personal choice. We all make decisions and sometimes, yeah, we live to regret them. We don’t have crystal balls. The first excerpt of this story I read was more about how she and her now husband both felt so alienated from each other in the decision. So that’s a layer of regret: that you weren’t able to decide together, as a couple. At the same time, they’ve worked through that and are still together. That’s wonderful.
Make peace with your choices. You made them as best you could at the time.
I had one 2 years ago and it while it really weighed on me at first, looking back it was definitely the best decision I could have made.
When I read the headline, my immediate thought was “how was she able to compete?” I had moments of such extreme pain for nearly 2 weeks after my procedure, getting up to shower at times was a struggle (not to mention the bleeding!)
That’s so interesting! I had one about 11 years ago, had a fantastic experience in that I was put under; didn’t hear or see anything. Was fine afterwards, physically and mentally. No bleeding, no pain…best decision ever. So grateful I had the choice; my body, my decision!
It sounds to me that she is intertwining two narratives, the pregnancy/abortion and her performance at the Olympics. And instead of berating the external pressure, she yields to it, has the abortion as if she had no choice and feels terrible about it because she did not really choose to do it. Then again, her perspective is off because she asks what would people think of her but they did not have to know. So it seems that she is using the outside argument to have done something she didn’t agree with but felt she had to do for her career.
Wow, that’s so tough. I’m sure the “timing” is never good. I can see why she did it before the olympics, because the event lasts about a month. That’s a long time to postpone an A if you already know your decision. I have two friends (a married couple), they got pregnant a couple of years before they got married. They were broke at the time and made the decision that it wasn’t the right time for them. Now they have a beautiful baby boy. I know several friends who’ve had one. Life goes on.
I don’t understand why she feels like she needs to share this story but sure, must’ve been a difficult time, abortion could’ve had complications from physical strain of competing, I suppose? Risky. Good thing she is ok though and everything went smoothly enough for her to conceive again, I’m assuming she wanted that. I’m pro-choice, so this is sorta non-news to me. I actually didn’t know some people were against abortions until I was almost an adult, must’ve been living under a rock, I guess.
What I found sad about this is she worried about what people would think if she had a baby out-of-wedlock. Seriously? So she felt it was easier to kill her unborn human (sorry, choice or not, abortion is still killing an unborn human) than have people think she had sex before marriage? That is so incredible mixed up.
Abortion is most often the very early termination of an embryo that is a collection of cells almost indistinguishable from those of an embryonic chicken and a few hundred other species I could list. There is nothing human about undifferentiated cells that have no chance of viability as human tissue until much, much later in development. Please learn some basic reproductive biology
Totally untrue, Sara. By week 3 (clinically 5 weeks pregnant) cells have differentiated to neural crest cells, musculoskeletal cells, cardiac cells. Most women don’t even know they are pregnant until this point. The embryo is definitely differentiated with most organogenesis early in the first trimester. And is human because genetically the embryo is human – just because it looks like other embryos, doesn’t make it indistinguishable. It doesn’t have the potential to be a chicken or a dog. Argue personhood, if you like, but you can’t dispute that the embryo is human.
Signed, Annoyed physician who got honors in embryology
“Human” in the way that the tissue extracted during a biopsy is still human tissue, but not a person. I support people’s right to both abortions and biopsies. 🙂
All that aside, the ‘babies born out of wedlock’ issue is another way that a lot of the pro-birth crowd operates in a way that’s counterproductive to their ‘pro-life’ stance. You’d think they’d realize that the thousands of years of stigma (some of it race-related) placed on sexually active unmarried women/girls and unwed mothers has contributed to the safe AND unsafe abortions women and girls have needed and gotten over the years.
I’m guessing, since she’s a successful athlete who probably had a good number of endorsements, that she had already marketed herself as a “Christian” and therefore couldn’t take the chance that she’d be judged for having a child out of wedlock and how that would affect her sponsorships. I also think that there is still a double standard between how male and female athletes are considered “marketable” (women having to be much more physically attractive and demure – or at least, not seen as a “slut”), and it’s a shame in this day and age.
It makes no sense to me to regret the abortion, unless she also regrets her current child. Because all of her history brought her to the point where she is NOW pregnant with another child. If she DIDN’T have the abortion, she might not be pregnant now. So many things could have changed — the stress on her relationship or career from the unwanted pregnancy could have meant she and her husband didn’t end up together. Or maybe caring for a child meant she and her husband wouldn’t have had sex on that exact date when she got pregnant NOW. So without the first abortion, she most likely wouldn’t have her current pregnancy (butterfly effect). I can see regretting an abortion if you never have any children after that, but if you did go on to have another child, that other child may only be here BECAUSE you had the earlier abortion. I don’t know if I’m saying this in the right words. Basically, the abortion brought her life to the exact point where she is pregnant NOW, so don’t regret the abortion unless you regret your current child too.
I think this line of thinking would help a lot of people struggling with their guilt; you’re the sum of your experiences – the good and bad.
I like this.
She’s brave for speaking out on having an abortion. I don’t want to parse her words at all, her feelings are her feelings and not everyone is either 1. wracked by guilt or 2. la-de-da about pregnancy termination, at either extreme. I hope her new baby brings her and her husband endless joy.
Calling abortion a scarlet letter is offensive in so many ways. She made her choice even if its a choice she is unhappy with. Describing abortion as a scarlet letter or something to be ashamed of doesn’t contribute to progressive conversations about choice. We can do better than this portrayal of abortion. Abortion is often a thoughtful, at times difficult and brave choice in the face of adversity. #noscarletletter