In our last story about Jennifer Garner, a few of you floated the theory that Ben Affleck was in rehab again. (I suspect that several commenters on these posts are hired by PR firms. This is just a hunch I have based on the commenting patterns and they’re better than the Johnny Depp people at least.) He very well may be, which would explain why there haven’t been any sightings of him in a while. However In Touch, which gets it right often, says that Affleck is still contemplating whether to go back to rehab after his last stint this spring (his second overall) didn’t really take. We’ve seen him looking tipsy and not maintaining his physique (I’m not body shaming him, he is just not in Batman shape). Recent reports claim he was drinking at the Emmys after parties, which seems like a no brainer but it’s still bad publicity for him. So is it any surprise to hear that he’s being urged to go back to rehab but that he’s trying to do it on his own terms?
In Touch is exclusively reporting that Ben Affleck has spiraled out of control again and those close to him are urging him to go into inpatient treatment for his longest stay ever.
Despite completing two rehab stints for alcohol addiction — in 2001 and 2017 — a confidant close to the star reveals that Ben’s “drinking has gotten worse.” “He’s spiraling out of control,” the confidant explains to In Touch.
“People are urging him to go into inpatient rehab,” a source close to Ben exclusively tells In Touch, adding that many of the people want him to stay longer than he ever has before.
“He knows he needs to check back into rehab,” says the confidant. “The problem is that he wants to go on his terms. He wants to do it on his time, but like most addicts, that time keeps getting put off. This relapse has gone on too long already.”
“When he does [get help],” says the source close to him, “he takes the treatment very seriously and listens to all of the staff’s advice.” And people close to Ben hope he listens to them and takes that “first step” once again. The first insider predicts, “it’s only a matter of time” before Ben is in rehab again.
“This is a disease and he wants nothing more than to be present for his family and his girlfriend,” the confidant tells In Touch…
“Lindsay may not know it,” says an insider, “but she’s enabling him.”
I’ve talked about my sobriety so much I sound like Demi Lovato but I have to say it again – if you’re a problem drinker like I was, not drinking is a gift. (If you enjoy it and can stop when you want, this does not apply to you and I know I can be annoying about it.) It’s the gift of health, it’s the gift of more stable moods, it’s the gift of being present for your family and friends. I actually feel sorry for Ben Affleck. The dude committed to playing a superhero, there’s tens of millions of dollars and a franchise at stake and he can’t get sober. He doesn’t seem to really want to. He’s trying to convince himself that it’s ok, that it’s a party and that he can continue to drink if he wants. I’ve been there and don’t ever want to go back.
Also, if Affleck gets sober do you think he will dump Lindsay? I think he’ll passive-aggressively date other women and have less time for her, which is another issue entirely.
These are photos of Ben and Lindsay out on 9-11 that we haven’t published yet. Credit: Backgrid. Other photos credit: WENN
Screw you, Batboy. No patience today for this entitled prick with so much utter crap going on in this country. So much talent, so much privilege, so many life opportunities and yet so little emotional intelligence.
All about him, isn’t it? Never mind his three kids who deserve a fully engaged father.
He’s toxic.
He really seems like one of those people that thinks that because he’s not super plastered around his kids, he’s not a bad person. His children know when he’s been drinking, even if he’s not plastered and they certainly know it when he doesn’t show up when he says he will. Idk if that has happened but when your parent is an alcoholic, it’s almost inevitable.
He’s not going to get help because he doesn’t want to. Going to rehab does not get to happen on his terms because that’s not how rehab works and he knows it.
“because that’s not how rehab works” Don’t we all wish we could rehab on our own terms. Detox centres would have nine year waiting lists.
It’s basic addict rationalization. He doesnt want to stop. He’s still being enabled. He needs to lose it all, I’m afraid. 1 of those so hard to reach because he’s a gravy train.
American re-hab is almost all based on Alcoholics Anonymous, which some consider to be untested faith-based clap-trap. I hope he does try a different method this time, preferably in Europe.
So toxic. Honestly I feel so bad for the kids here and a little bad for jen. I’ve known addicts and I know how hard it is to cut them off. Esp after those “good” periods.
Anyways what the heck is rehab on your own terms? I just don’t get it. You’re an addict get some help.
And I call BS on the fact that he takes treatment seriously. He fell off the wagon super quickly for someone taking it super seriously.
To me doing rehab on your own terms means you are not serious about it. I’ve had several addicts in my family. My SIL got sober and stayed sober. My future son-in-law didn’t and eventually OD’d. He left two beautiful children who will never know him except for a few video’s my daughter has of him. The youngest doesn’t really know him.
He’s an addict–we all know what that means. No one can help him except him and he doesn’t want to stop drinking. He puts himself in the place where he can drink–his girlfriend is convenient to that place– but he put himself there.
There was a lot of scuttlebut about him being hooked on pills during the first Batman go ’round, and for all we know this last rehab may have been mostly about getting off the horse. He would not be the first addict to insist he’s fine because he’s off the ‘hard stuff’ and ‘just drinking.’
So many addicts speak like him. Is it chicken or egg? Does the addiction make them feel self-important/entitled or does it unmask these characteristics? Idk but I just can’t.
That’s the alcohol talking. It’s called denial. Being in the grip of an addiction really does change personalities, at least that is my experience with addicts.
They usually go hand in hand.
That is a good question. I don’t have a lot of patience for people like Ben because he can afford the best care and can stay in rehab and long term care without financial loss and he has children who are already in therapy.
I think addiction is just one problem masking a host of other issues. I keep saying when you have kids you have to make better decisions with them in mind. He is a selfish jerk for robbing them of a father.
To borrow from Rex Tillerson, f**king moron. Rehab on his own terms…it wouldn’t be rehab, would it, if he could truly could truly address his alcohol issues on his own.
Who I feel sorry for is his kids. My mom was an alcoholic and her moods were all over the map. It’s hard to grow up in a household like that. Say what you will about Jen; she is giving her kids the stability they desperately need.
No one deserves what he puts people through. I can be apologist sometimes because I believe people have the right not to be in relationships they don’t want to be in, but his addictions are another issue.
Awesome first post! I wholeheartedly agree. Can’t stand this narcissistic man-boy.
In Touch gets it right often? News to me
I know, right? Hilarious.
They were the ones who exposed Josh Duggar and brought the receipts. They have brought the receipts in a few other cases too.
True about the Duggars. I think it’s really spotty though. It’s like they get a few big things right every so often, but that’s it. Similar to The Enquirer. Remember when they broke the John Edwards scandal and suddenly became eligible for a Pulitzer? lol.
Lol I laughed when I read that but it wasn’t framed like a joke, so..?
“He knows he needs to check back into rehab,” says the confidant. “The problem is that he wants to go on his terms.”
In other words, he doesn’t really want to do it and will find any excuse to put it off. Worse, it appears he’s being aided by someone who doesn’t seem to hold his sobriety in any degree of importance, if the stories of them visiting liquor stores is to be believed.
Having said that, it is hard to feel sorry for someone who, as a high profile Hollywood actor, will be given limitless chances and opportunities to get clean and sober, to be in movies over and over again where as an actress in the same position would have been written off already. And if you are someone without the clout of fame or money, forget it.
You would think that when he has all the money and resources to get clean, it would be easier for him. But actually because he’s a famous, rich and powerful movie star, he will be surrounded by ‘yes’ men and women and enablers. They will be cleaning up his messes to protect ‘the brand’, which is worth millions. Most addicts have to hit bottom before taking action; for someone in his position, it will take a lot longer.
That tray of sliders looks fantastic.
There’s never a good time to go to rehab. It’s more like the repercussions of not going to rehab don’t seem to be severe enough yet to make Ben do it, which is a sad thing because this is in the media and his kids are old enough to be aware of it. And the kids at their school are also aware of it. I don’t have much sympathy for the whole Ben/Jen thing or Ben’s issues. They should make the right decision for their kids and take this out of the magazines.
Uggg Ben is in a bad way. Jen looks so happy, relieved and calm nowadays. Lindsay is terrible. Rehab is his best option, his health, personal life and career are hanging by a thread.
Why is Lindsey anymore terrible than Jen Gardner who enabled him by keeping up the clean family PR image and continued to have more children when Ben has been a known drug and gambling addict prior to marrying him? Did she really have to have a second and then a third child with an addict if she cares so much about her children (trademark). Also forcing someone to go to rehab “for their own good” has worked *never* for addicts. It’s up to them to admit they are an addict and seek rehab otherwise they relapse the day they are let out of rehab.
At least Lindsey is using him as a f^ck buddy and not having children with an addict incapable of being a father. I’m not blaming either woman but if you blame one then the other is equally at fault as an enabler. Again it’s up to the addict to avoid people who go drinking and to stay away from bars. An important component of rehab. Ben is the only one responsible for his sobriety, he is not a child.
Pretty typical of an addict. They always want to run the show and can’t figure out why that method doesn’t work.
“On his terms” is code for he ain’t going to rehab. He wants to drink. That Lindsay Shook person is his current drinking buddy.
yep. she seems to enjoy the party and being a cool girl who won’t tell him no.
It’s easy to play the cool girl when you’re a side piece with her own life, much more difficult to do so if you’re actually building a life as an equal partner.
I want to say to him, “Rehab. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
This will get so much worse before it gets better. Sooooooo much worse….and if it gets better.
It is always hard to watch someone self destruct. I hope that no one gets hurt before he realizes he needs help.
“His terms” means that if he’s that’s true and he’s there now because his hand was forced, then he’s not committed or there for the right reasons. He’ll relapse yet again. People have to want to get sober for themselves. Ultimatums don’t really work. He has to hit rock bottom and I don’t know if he ever will. He’s lost his marriage, free access to his kids (apparently), a job that he wanted for a decade (Batman)… he just doesn’t care.
Ultimately it’s up to Affleck to fight his addiction so I’m not necessarily blaming his girlfriend but it’s pretty gross if she is enabling him.
My son is an alcoholic, with an enabler wife. It is frustrating to see them and I pray for my grandkids. You can’t convince a drunk that they have a problem. This is something they must do.
I had a drinking problem when I was first married, woke up and said enough. Tried to raise my kids to avoid alcohol, failed with my son. He is in his mid thirties now. That was the time I woke up. I am 58 now and have not drank in 23 years.
Kaiser gave the most accurate description of how it feels being sober.
Congratulations to you Grace! 23 years sober is amazing, I’m so proud of you! Sorry to hear about your son. I hope he sees the light soon and gets the help he needs.
Chef Grace, Kudos to you for continuing to win the battle. Alcohol is as bad as Heroin for the addict (and yes there are both in the family), alcoholics have plausible deniability for everything. You didn’t fail your son. He is failing himself and his family. Much love.
Chef Grace, It is CB that writes about the hell of alcoholism.
Thank you. I stand corrected.
Congratulations, Chef Grace. My mother also stopped drinking when I was growing up, and she hasn’t drank for several decades. I can’t overstate the power of her example. She showed me through her recovery that what seems impossible isn’t always. She showed me that a person CAN change their behavior and improve their lives in drastic ways.
You might not realize it, but you are a living example for your children of how a person can change their lives for the better. Your son might be struggling now, but have faith that in time he may be inspired by your journey and travel the path to recovery as well. Hugs to you and your family.
What lovely compassionate and empathic posts you write @Tiffany. Hugs to you 😊
Thank you, Agapanthus. Hugs right back at you! 🙂
That was beautifully said Tiffany.
Is it really a surprise Lindsay Shookus is “enabling” him? That was obvious before the roll out was called a roll out. This is why they say don’t get into any serious relationships the first year out from rehab – too much to deal with while trying to maintain sobriety. The fact that he drinks with her and she stays with him tells me what I need to know about her…really. Sorry, if I were to date a known addict, I’d do anything to make sure they stayed sober, including not being with them romantically until they got their crap together.
There is so much riding on Justice League that I wouldn’t be surprised if Warner Bros has forced Affleck into inpatient rehab. That movie is going to need to gross $1b just to break even, and they can’t send him out to do worldwide promos if he’s drinking.
My hunch is that they’ve given him the boot already, and that news will break after JL opens. I also think it was a mutual decision by both parties involved since Affleck has mentioned in the past that he doesn’t enjoy all the work that has be put in into playing Batman…and you can tell. I think he’s pretty much done after JL, and they’ll reboot that universe. Their whole DCEU has been a clusterfuck anyway.
He’s already starting to blame Lindsay for his drinking, when the reason he’s with her in the first place is so that he could drink. Worthless man. Jennifer is better off without him and one day Lindsay will be too.
He’s had addiction problems for years. Drinking, gambling, opiates. I’m sure he’s been to rehab more times that we actually know about. I keep seeing the word enabling being thrown around. Enabling is more than drinking with that person. It’s making excuses for them. Doing things for them that they should be doing. Giving them chance after chance. Hiding the addict’s problems from everyone else. The list goes on and on. As far as I can tell, Ben went from one enabler to another.
http://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/kala/enabling-fact-sheet
CB, just wanted to add that I admire your courage in telling your story about problem drinking and the gift of sobriety.
+1
+1 more! Let’s focus on the winners like you—real superheroes!
Ben is 100% to blame for the problems in his life. It’s pretty gross to see people blaming Lindsay. If he were back with Jen right now (and drinking heavily) would people see it as her fault? Or how about those many years of gambling and drug problems? Was she enabling him then? I guess so. How about we stop blaming others for his issues and blame HIM for his own choices. Taking accountability seems to be a problem for him IMO.
He is, but that doesn’t mean Shookus isn’t a problem person too in her own right. She doesn’t get a pass. People die because of bad company, enablers, etc. Ben is a father. Anyone not supporting the good things and good people in his life are definitely crappy people in their own right. That’s not a friend or someone who cares about his well being, that’s a sidekick train wreck.
I view Jen as a positive in his life but she was trying to help someone who had a third party interfering.
Ben needs to focus on getting well, his kids and a healthy career.
No, Jen is an enabler. Don’t canonize her because she enables differently. It doesn’t make either woman terrible people it just means they loved an addict and were manipulated by him. They also need therapy for whatever was in them to become enablers.
I agree and disagree with your points. He is absolutely the only person responsible for his behavior.
At the same time, I question a person who gets with an alcoholic who has been through rehab multiple times and **drinks with them** or buys alcohol for them. It is his choice to drink, but as a person who has been around people who are recovering, there is a big difference between supporting sobriety and sabotaging it. If Garner was bringing home bottles of booze for Ben, then she was enabling too.
(**Side note: I don’t think there is conclusive proof that Lindsay was drinking with him or buying him alcohol…but it appears that way from the liquor store photos, etc.)
If she’s drinking with a known alcoholic, I’m guessing she has a problem of her own too. When I was still drinking, the only people who wanted to hang out and drink with me were people who had their own issues with booze, too, because normal people aren’t up for the life of an alcoholic. I know celebrity changes things, and he’ll have tons of people wanting to be around him no matter what, but drinking with an alcoholic like that honestly isn’t enjoyable unless you like drinking HARD and have your own issues you’re looking to avoid. It’s just not appealing, or fun. It’s ugly.
I don’t question Lindsay or her motives at all. She’s clearly got her own problems to get wrapped up in this mess. She chose it, so we shouldn’t look to her as a beacon of reason. She’s just as unreasonable as Ben.
It is definitely possible that she has addiction issues of her own, but as I know nothing about her history in this area, I am not going make that assumption. It’s very possible, though. As you noted, the celebrity factor provides other reasons why she may overlook troubling behavior. Love/lust can also blind people to these kinds of problems.
I don’t understand why he doesn’t just give up acting, become a director and drink & eat himself into oblivion.
Jack Nicholson seems to be doing that plan- except for the directing part.
Because directing at the level Ben does is really hard, especially while drinking and eating excessively? And no matter what his faults or problems are, he does not deserve “oblivion”.
Can a PR firm hire ME to leave comments on celebrity gossip sites?! How do people get these jobs?
+1
Well, said. Point taken, It’s hilarious that people are so quick to slander someone based on a flimsy In-Touch report. The fact that this is a full-fledged PR war between two self absorbed divorcing celebrities hasn’t crossed anyone’s mind?
I said the same thing, like that’s a job??
I know. Who wants to hire me? I’ll even make pro Will and Kate posts.
I’m still waiting for my check from attending the Million Women March /s/
Who was supposed to be signing those cheques, MC2?
same! I’m also still waiting to be hired as Soros paid protester, I keep hearing about how lucrative that is!
Word on the street is to watch on Craig’s List. 😉
Ever since he publicly blamed Jennifer Lopez for his career failures, I’ve been done with him. I am loving his current struggles. Everything is always someone else’s fault, never his. His fans buy into it, too. His drinking will be blamed on Lindsay Shookus and he’ll be allowed to reinvent himself yet again. He’s disgusting and I hope he fails at everything for the rest of his life. Have another drink, Ben.
I think we’re doomed to go through this every 15 years. He fails hugely, blames someone else for it, makes a huge comeback and is welcomed with open arms. He married his biggest stan and repaired his image with a family which we all know was a huge charade that he was never into. I guess he thought she’d stick around no matter what and protect his image? In the words of Dr. Phil, how’d that work out for ya?
What a very unpleasant post.
Even though she is in the entertainment business, she strikes me as a major enabler and sycophant.
The fact that she’s worked at SNL for so long is not a good sign. Obviously it’s not “proof” of anything, but it’s well-known that the cast and crew of that show parties HARD. I know someone who worked there for a while and she said that as a non-addict, she was in the minority.
Just the number of cast members who’ve died from overdoses over the years is tragic, and those are the high-profile ones we hear about. The crew probably has lots of problems too. It’s very sad but does not sound like a healthy place to work, for the most part.
if he was a women – no one would insure him. especially not on films where the dollars exchanged are in the billions.
I’ve personally been exactly where Ben is (minus the fame, etc)… I was in a toxic relationship, had been sober, relapsed with my enabler and it wasn’t until I left him I finally got my shit together about a month later. Being an addict sucks and you put off sobriety with everything you have until one day a light bulb goes off and you stop. I am very thankful I have been sober for 12 years come January. And I’ve helped a few people in that time, he needs to get rid of everyone around him who enables him… I’m sure he has a bunch of yes people working for him. Someone needs to bitch smack him. If I was his sober coach, I would, lol.
It’s good to hear from someone who knows, Colbeca. And good for you in getting & staying sober, Congrats on 12!
lol Jen enabled him for 12+ years so when she stopped, he just went out and found someone else. Of course he’s in rehab. Warner Bros will need him to be coherent in a month, right before they fire him. Then he’ll resume drinking. Long term sobriety ain’t in his future. He’s too selfish and he’s never going to change.
Yeah, the story should be that Ben entered rehab a few weeks ago, not that he’s putting it off. He’s not been seen for several weeks, didn’t attend the the big opening season SNL afterparty with his girlfriend. He hasn’t been seen in LA. I could make up a better story than this mag, because my guess would be that he’s already in rehab for a month, like before, drying out.
He gave an interview to Empire Mag, but there’s usually a lag time from when you gave it to the month it comes out.
He was last seen two weeks ago, on Sept. 20.
Exactly, Jayna (and please read my soon-to-post comment below as I’d be interested in your take on it).
In fact to build my point about this being a behind-the-scenes PR war between Jen and Ben, I’d like to point out that this is a pattern with these two. There was a very dubious looking report on the Inquistor recently that Garner was getting close to SJP’s husband Matthew Broderick, followed quickly by a retaliatory and extremely petty story about Ben that extras on Justice League hate “bloated Ben” and “make fun of him” behind his back.
Let’s not be fooled again, shall we? Like the whole ‘ben+jen, will-they-won’t-they /conscious uncoupling/modern family’ schtick that turned out to be pure spin, I refuse to take any reports about these two at face value. They are both image-obsessed, manipulative af and will do anything to stick it to the other, ever since Shookus got involved.
Sidenote : I just dislike how Lindsay is being thrown under the bus as an “enabler”. Just go to X17, the comments about her (as opposed to the angelic Saint Jen) are stomach churning
Well unfortunately he’s making it too easy for Jen. He’s giving her more ammunition than she needs: running around with the new gf and skipping things for his kids, being photographed in the presence of alcohol. He’s never struck me as being very bright or very savvy.
He is actually very intelligent just stupid about life choices. Jen talks about his intelligence all the time and it was apparent in the old days, but now he just seems out of it a lot.
I think it would be unfair to negate the influence his childhood has had on many of his choices. We know that the pattern of behavior (abuse, alcohol, etc.) is passed from parent to child, because they learn this behavior throughout life and though they may not like it, it is still the only normal they know. As adults, it is very common for children of these to repeat those same behaviors. That’s the sad circle of life.
If you’re dating someone who has been to rehab and lived with a sober living coach – and he did so a year ago – you don’t drink with them. Poor Lindsay nothing: either she cares for him or she doesn’t. It’s not her job to look after him, but it is her job not to enable. That’s just basic.
He went to rehab back in 2001 and has never been 100% sober since. I guess that’s Jen fault for enabling him.
I think Garner has totally enabled him, yes, and I think their relationship is extremely toxic. But I think she confused co-dependent nurture with protection/love in a way that’s really common with addicts and their loved ones. The intentions are good, but the results fairly identical to open enabling by providing a party buddy.
In Shookus’s case, she knows, and drinks openly with a guy just out of rehab. That’s not someone under the misapprehension that providing stability and a family life might magically cure an addict. Intentions don’t matter to outcomes, but they sure do when you are judging someone’s character.
Of course, Affleck doesn’t deserve any better, but it doesn’t mean she is admirable.
K, agreed.
Lindsey went into a secret relationship with him with both being married and having babies at home and apparently kept it up off and on over the past four years. No sympathy for her at all.
I don’t think she’s to blame for anything Affleck does AT ALL, but she is totally responsible for her own part in this mess. She wants (I think) the fame that goes with being his SO and given the number of pap strolls, jumped in with both feet when she had that chance. Yes, I think she’s going to do whatever she can to keep him with her now.
He’s got so many underlying issues – until he is willing to resolve those, his addictions are his form of medication and stopping is really hard because of that. But, he’s making really bad choices and likely Lindsey will become his new JLO IF he ever actually gets sober enough to work again. I don’t think that’s a given, either.
As to Jen and/or Lindsey being enablers, until you have actually been in a close relationship with an addict, you REALLY have no idea what it is and you become part of the cycle without realizing it because it’s life as it happens. Only when you reach a point of seeing the cycle do you know how you contributed and get out of the pattern. People who have never experienced an addict up close are very naïve and not knowledgeable about what’s up ahead. I don’t know if either of them had that in their lives before Affleck, so they truly may have made poor choices in trying to do what they perceived was right in the circumstances to help the person, or accept them and love them as they are, thinking they are being supportive.
Personal experience.
Both Jen and Lindsay are guilty of the same thing: wanting to be with Ben no matter what. Jen put up with his cheating and lying and addictions for more than a decade. That is enabling. Jen enjoyed the fame of being Mrs. Ben Affleck and her daily pap strolls with him prove that. If Jen innocently got “caught up in the cycle” of being with an addict, I don’t see why this doesn’t get to be applied to Lindsay or anyone else that Ben ends up with as well. Always the way with Saint Jen, huh? Yeah sure, right.
I included Lindsey in the paragraph about enablers, so I do give her the benefit of that, just as with Jen.
Jen doesn’t have to be a saint not to be blasted for doing what she thought was supportive. Addiction is a sick mess and it messes with anyone who gets caught up with the addict. It’s easy from the outside to say what should and shouldn’t be done. When emotions are involved, it’s not so clear.
Only when an enabler understands the pattern and steps out do they start making better choices and see how destructive that pattern is to all involved.
Well LS hasn’t been seen with him since the Emmys. The tabloids said that he got drunk and made a fool of himself in front of her colleagues there. To play devil’s advocate, how do we know that she didn’t give him an ultimatum and that’s why he’s back in rehab? If he’s so good at manipulating the women in his life, why does everyone assume that Shookus is for some reason the one who is in control here? Bizarre.
Who said she was in control? I didn’t say she was in control. Manipulation is about getting you to make the choices/decisions the manipulator wants you to make. An addict is manipulated by their own brain – it will protect the addiction at all costs.
Ultimatums don’t work – they are at best a temporary band aid. If simply being the dad he didn’t have and not being the dad he did have isn’t motivation for him to get help, he’s way less likely for any love interest. He’s shown time and again he has little respect for women. Whether he is in rehab or not, it’s on him 100%. If he isn’t in rehab, it’s likely because he doesn’t want to stop yet. If he is, I’d say it’s very likely WB pushed him to dry out before the press tour.
I do think part of her attraction for him is that she doesn’t challenge the behaviors (Las Vegas trip, bottles of wine, liquor stores). She has probably heard from him for years about Jen’s nagging him to stop and knows that’s the sure-fire way to shut down the relationship.
Again, he’s 100% in control – as far as an addict can be – of whether rehab happens and/or works for him.
I work in a downtown environment and have talked to a number of homeless men and women who are there because they couldn’t/wouldn’t get power over their addiction and living on the streets without rules was the ultimate result/choice. Addiction is a horrible thing, and not just for the addict.
LS
We don’t know what Lindsay says to him or if she has begged him to get well or if he made false promises. We just don’t. I don’t it is fair to constantly make it sound like she has a role in his choices. He does this.
We DO know he needs help.
I didn’t mean to imply Lindsay has any power or control over his choices. His choices are 100% on him, beginning to end.
Do I think she has influence? Yes. Addicts like to hear what they want to hear and are very much influenced by that. Affirmation is music.
I also doubt he has made any promises, because I don’t think she has tried to change him – as I said, I’m sure she heard from Ben about Jen’s nagging and how he hated it, and isn’t going to make that mistake–she may not actually even have a problem with any of his behaviors–it does appear from what we’ve seen she may not.
Yes, these are suppositions, but I was with a multiple addicted person (with kids) for a long time and even since we divorced 20 years ago because of the kids. You learn a lot about the thought processes of an addict – and they are pretty much consistently the same from the others I have encountered in the process.
There are hills and valleys with an addict, and they progressively worsen over time. What started out as a more minor issue eventually becomes untenable.
Absolutely he needs help.
I have Amy Winehouse singing, “no, no no!” in my head. And look how well that turned out.
He’s a mess. Thankfully those kids have Garner, who may have been a mess in wanting kids with Affleck in the first place, but does at least look like she knows how to raise them.
Yeah, and it only took her 12.5 years to figure it out and file. Those kids were exposed to his insanity for years & years and now all of them are in therapy. Daddy’s in rehab yet again while Mommy grins like an idiot for her pap strolls and works on her instagram. I pity those kids.
There are hills and valleys with an addict. There were probably some good times mixed in with the bad, especially as he has allegedly been to rehab more than once. I’m sure he truly didn’t want to become his father and so was willing to work at it for a few years. Addicts are excellent at deceiving and manipulating. They make you believe they want what you want. This is so standard in any addict I have very little doubt it happened. In the early “reports” after the divorce, one of the blurbs leaked was that she had tried to leave a few times and he convinced her to stay and work on it. I totally believe that. Plus, they had 3 very young kids who loved their dad.
She’s re-establishing a good, solid life for herself and them, and seems to be very healthy since she stopped being part of his cycle. His kids are getting counselling to understand their dad’s problems and the divorce aren’t their fault and they have a stable home with a good mom and grandparents.
They have it far better than many kids who don’t have those things to help them deal.
She looks fairly co-dependent, no argument at all there. But she’s also hands-on with the kids, and not drinking herself to death. You really can’t compare the two and argue they are equivalent parents.
I also agree that she will have bought his promises. The sunk costs fallacy is never so apparent as it is when women have kids with addicts, sadly. And often even when they don’t. Hysterical bonding is also miserably powerful.
Proud of you CB. Addiction is a rough road so I judge no one who goes through it. I have empathy and it’s easier to point a finger and say just go, get better. Hopefully he gets the help he needs.
Expect a rehab announcement after JL when it is confirmed he is no longer Batman.
He was just spotted going to an outpatient treatment facility in LA so it doesn’t seem that he was away at inpatient rehab as some thought (see Us Weekly).
outpatient? lol, he’s not even pretending to try.
The article reads like it was actually written by his PR people.
Oh no, I think he’ll check in some time after Thanksgiving and we’ll get an announcement late December. He has JL promo/obligations all throughout November and I’d assume late October. Dude needs to detox and get intensive in patient rehab care for a few months and then start on that outpatient care.
LearningtheSystem, MTE (see my comment below).
A, http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/ben-affleck-continues-to-seek-treatment-for-alcohol-addiction-w507224/lots-of-love-w507226
My guess is that this has been messy for both Ben and Lindsay with the infidelity and drinking.
And as the relationship *fades*, his PR is taking it from the Jen playbook: “They’re committed to their respective children and careers, so they just couldn’t make it work on opposite coasts but remain friends…”
Blah, blah, blah.
Remember that story over the summer where he visited her family and there was ‘excessive drinking’? I think her and her family drinks so for an alcoholic to be around that would be tough near impossible. Maybe it’s why he likes her she doesn’t mind an alcoholic whose been to rehab drinking with her; I would feel icky about that
Please stop it. One of the reasons I love this site is that we don’t needlessly diss other women based on 0 facts and 100% projections, unlike vile sites like the DM. Let’s not drag her down for his messes.
@Missreader, we’re just going on what we’ve seen. They’ve literally been photographed with alcohol and they look hungover in many of the photos of them together. It is all still speculation, but I don’t think it is unfair to Lindsay. The bits we’ve seen are very damning.
Maybe she has a reasonable explanation for it all! If so I’d love to hear it.
And just to clarify, I am not blaming her for anything Ben does, but it does appear that she is enabling him and I don’t think it’s “throwing her under the bus” to point that out.
LoL, 75% of the comments on any Ben/Jen post is blaming Jen, same thing with Brad/Angie blaming Angie.
@Lorelai Jen went to Vegas and gambled with him in 2014. His gambling addiction has been known for years. So is that enabling to sit at the tables with him while he gambles? Guess so. This was when he got thrown out for counting cards. Just sayin.’
Yep. That’s also enabling. Didn’t know she’d done that.
I am having an issue with the same thing. My problem with JG is the hanging on to something publicly that was apparently over and embarrassing. No one gets a medal for sticking with an addict when there are kids involved. No one knows anything about Lindsay at this point or what she thought or what they are like.
We do know Ben is the addict. He is the problem, and the others have issues too, but no one else makes him this way.
Full disclosure: I am not currently in PR nor the entertainment industry, but I worked in both and have thoughts based on media manipulation and public perception…
In the week following the Emmys, a few days after Ben was photographed buying booze and visiting his kids, I think he went to Hazelden-Betty Ford in MN as he was supposedly seen at the airport near there. Or else, he’s doing outpatient in LA as someone mentioned above here. His addictions are more than alcohol, but the worst one (very sadly) may be opioids, I fear. This is possibly why everyone has covered it up because there’s so much at stake, though the biggest concern should be for his life. 🙁
This big relationship rollout with Lindsay was perhaps because they were finally caught, and she wanted to be a real girlfriend. He went along with it reluctantly, why all this supposed PDA was from her, while he looks mostly disinterested. This is also why his PR was pushing the ridiculous narrative of him being such a great boyfriend over the top, as if he were testing her to see how much she can take of this.
The day after the Emmys, ROL had something from an “insider/coworker/friend” about Ben stealing the spotlight from Lindsay at the Emmys. On another thread, I speculated that they argued and this very angry person sounded like Lindsay herself. GC refuted that soon after, but then removed it from their site. A day or so later, ROL had something else about how much the JL cast and crew hate Ben, which also sounded like Lindsay again. Curiously, GC didn’t even bother to refute this, but JL promotion had already taken over the news.
And now, we have these pieces from Ohhh-kay! and Out-of-Touch Weekly, etc. re: Ben’s friends and family urging him to go to rehab for a month or maybe longer, also concerns that Lindsay is not helping the situation. Oddly enough, GC has still not refuted this as of today, but how can they given the photos of him and the growing chorus even on the DM?
My guess is that Ben’s PR actually floated these through 3rd-tier tabs like OK and ITW in order to get ahead of the real story that he’s already back in some sort of rehab because this is crisis management. Yet it’s also to prepare us for when/why the relationship with Lindsay soon ends, though my guess is he’s ghosting her now anyway.
There are always comparisons to Gone Girl, but I think Argo applies here: “If you want to sell a lie…get the press to sell it for you.”
Rehab on the terms of the addict is one of the most oxymoronic ( and just plain moronic ) things I’ve ever heard.
This this this
I’m surprised by the new pics, frankly. I really thought that he went away to rehab and we wouldn’t see him again until JL promos. Was he just hiding out or hanging around Lindsay’s apartment? I guess we’ll never know. His body looks bad. He looked thinner at the Emmys but the layer of fat is back on his midsection. Blech.
I understand the industry he works in is toxic and all. How does he keep getting jobs?
Time for some new talent.
That’s the thing about rehab Ben. It’s all about having to walk in your truth. You don’t get to do it “on your terms”, even when you’re a privileged celebrity. Thats kinda how it goes.
As always he looks miserable, even when with Lindsay.