Hand to God, the fourth boy I ever kissed in my life had the exact same hair as Heather Mills. His name was Aaron, he was a cool skater boy, and he had the same long-in-front, swooped ‘do, and he even bleached it that same straw-yellow/near-white color. He had the same gross-looking roots too. We made out underneath a blanket on a friend’s couch, and I let him go to second base as we listened to dialogue from The Shining. I was fourteen. That’s my excuse. What Heather’s excuse for that hair? It reminds me a little of old-school Annie Lennox, but Heather isn’t cool enough to even hold Annie’s coat.

Anyway, these are photos from Heather’s triumphant return to the spotlight – her new vegan restaurant V-Bites. Last week, we saw Heather Mills in shockingly clean overalls as she pretended to “paint” V-Bites, so I guess all of those months of renovating the place paid off. This place was originally a fish joint. Heather bought it, fired everyone and told them never to come back, ever, and spent several months renovating the place to her specifications. Way to win over the neighborhood, Heather:

Heather Mills went fishing for attention today by risking life and limb to climb up on the roof of her controversial new vegan café – which replaces a popular seafood restaurant.

Despite her famous disability – she has a prosthetic leg after being hit by a motorcycle – she scaled a ladder to stand on top of the art deco building.

The animal rights campaigner provoked outrage among residents in her home town of Hove, East Sussex, when she snapped up the popular Big Fish café for £140,000 only to reveal she was taking fish off the menu.

Ms Mills, who clinched a £24million settlement in her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney last year, also laid off the Big Fish staff and told them they would not be re-employed when the renovated café reopened.

Up on the roof of her café … Ms Mills leant against the neon V-Bites sign and addressed the crowd who had turned out for her all-day opening party.

The former glamour model, 41, who has spent months refurbishing the former fish bar, recruited a DJ and Glenn Miller-style band for today’s launch.

Wearing chef’s whites decorated with the V-Bites logo, Ms Mills said: ‘My vision was to create a place for all the community to enjoy. I am very excited about the future and look forward to inviting everybody to Hove Lagoon this summer.’

The restaurant will serve recipes created by Heather, including bangers and mash, chicken-style nut korma, salads, English breakfast, and Pad Thai served with rice noodles.

Ms Mills’s ambitions will not be satisfied with her Hove restaurant. She hopes to turn V-Bites into a chain of outlets to challenge burger bars worldwide.

[From The Daily Mail]

Bless her heart, I suppose. At least she’s not creating more of a ruckus. I think firing all of the original employees must have soothed her for several months. She’s probably due for another mass-firing soon. I really think that’s what she’s going to do from now on – she’ll buy a small business, fire everyone, redo the business, spend millions of dollars, then run that business into the ground. Rinse and repeat. Hopefully at some point in that grueling schedule she can get her roots done.

Photo credit: WENN.com