We officially have a new uncool Bermuda Triangle! For the new one, we still have player named “Jennifer Aniston” and a player named “Bradley” (Cooper). The new player is none other than Oscar-winner Renee Zellweger. I’m sure everyone remembers what went down, but just a quick recap: Jen went on a date with Bradley Cooper (Bradifer 2.0!), who then claimed they were just friends (he said it in French too!), and then he went on a date with Renee Zellweger (just 12 days later!), and then the sh-t hit the fan (“Jen’s Love Implosion”) Last week we were regaled with stories of What Went Wrong between Jen and Bradley – we heard neediness, relationship timelines, and some mutterings about Lake Bell and “don’t hate the player, hate the game, ladies”. I’m making that last one up. Although it would be funny if Bradley said that.

So Star’s story this week is “Renee Steals Jen’s Man”. Epic, right? Perhaps it should be “Renee and Jen Try To Steal Lake Bell’s Man”. Or perhaps “How Do You ‘Steal’ A Man, Anyway?” This story is told more from a pro-Renee point of view, as opposed to the version yesterday that had a friend of Jen’s calling Renee “Needy Edie”. Although the “Needy Edie” motif still exists in this version:

“Renee is totally into Bradley,” a source close to the actress tells Star. “Behind the scenes, she’s really throwing herself at him.”

Just 12 days after [Bradley and Jennifer’s date], Renee got her own intimate alone time with the star of The Hangover at another Italian restaurant.

“They were really comfortable with each other,” says a restaurant employee, who noted Bradley, 34, acted the perfect gentleman and pulled out Renee’s chair for her. “She was so happy – they were talking and smiling the entire time. It certainly looked like a date.”

Keeping their night out a secret from Jennifer Aniston wasn’t a top priority for Bradley and Renee. After spending more than two hours openly flirting with each other, the two headed outside to waiting photographers.

“We could have snuck them out through the downstairs,” the restaurant employee tells Star. “But they weren’t really concerned about privacy.”

Word of the date getting out is all just part of Renee’s plan. She’s felt a special connection with Bradley since they started filming the upcoming thriller Case 39.

“It was obvious from the moment she met him. And since Bradley’s on the fence and playing it cool with Jen, Renee saw her chance and took it. She doesn’t care if Jen knows about their date, because she’s sure Bradley is all hers now!”

But even casual observers note that Bradley could be toying with both Renee and Jennifer and dating on his own terms.

“He was so charming,” says one diner who witnessed Bradley and Renee. “I could see why these women are falling for him. But I think they should be careful, because he obviously has great game.”

Jennifer’s making it known she does too! “Jen is the better match for Bradley, but she’s not going to cry into her pillow over him,” says a friend. “She just thinks Bradley’s not ready for something serious yet. She says when he is, he’ll be with her.”

But Renee won’t go down without a fight! “She’s dying to get married and have a baby, and she believes Bradley is the right guy,” insists the source. “She’s determined to keep him for herself!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, July 20 2009]

I just enjoyed this story so much. It’s like Star’s trying to make the case that both women feel very confident in their “triumph” over the other one. Renee’s all “I totally stole him from you, Jennifer! Cry on a pillow!” and Jen’s like “I didn’t want him in the first place, but he’ll come back to me when he’s tired of bones, sister!”

At first a felt badly for Bradley because I thought he was a hard-working guy experiencing his first brush with career success, and he might be getting manipulated by some very experienced public relations wheelers and dealers. Now I’m just starting to think that Bradley’s going for the one-two punch of modern Hollywood careerism – he’s got the big hit movie, so now he’s going for the tabloid drama. Anything to be a household name.