The two non-pregnant Kardashian sisters are on the cover of Life & Style this week. In their bikinis. With the words “Diet Secrets” and “Get Thin Fast!” written in bold type. Now, I don’t really have anything against any of the Kardashians, really, but this cover was hilarious to me for several reasons.

First, Khloe and Kim are totally desperate for attention now that Kourtney’s pregnancy has sucked all of the oxygen out of their publicity-seeking ways. I’m sure they would have posed in their bikinis regardless of Kourtney’s pregnancy, but the lack of attention they’ve been receiving gives the cover a whiff of desperation, doesn’t it? Second, I loathe “diet secret” tabloid covers, especially when the cover features a person or people who were never really overweight, they just weren’t stick-thin. Putting these two Kardashian girls on the cover with “Diet” and “Get Thin Fast!” just says to me “we hated our normal, healthy figures, so we did some blow and now we’re calling it a ‘diet’!”

My third and final reason for laughing at this cover? Obviously, the Kardashian diet secret is “Photoshop”. Take a look at their legs! Now, both Kim and Khloe are curvy, voluptuous girls, even with some kind of extreme diet. There is absolutely no way in hell those are Khloe’s real thighs. And they Photoshopped away half of Kim’s ass! What the…?

Losing weight can be a battle, but Kardashian sisters Khloé, 25, and Kim, 28, tell Life & Style they’ve finally achieved their weight-loss goals and gotten their best body in years.

“I’d try the Atkins diet, the cabbage-soup diet — every ridiculous diet ever,” Kim says about her habit of gaining, then losing a few pounds. Here’s how the stunning siblings feel now that they’ve uncovered their diet secret and are looking better than ever.

L&S: Was losing those final pounds the most difficult part?
Khloé: It’s always been hard to lose weight in general, and I’m still losing weight, but right now, I feel like I’ve lost all my fat and just want to tone up. It’s really because of QuickTrim [a system of supplements customized for various fitness goals]. I’ve had weight battles my entire teenage and adult life, but this time when I tried losing it, the weight just fell off. It was easy.
Kim: I trained so hard for my fitness DVDs, Fit in Your Jeans by Friday, and I just needed an extra push. QuickTrim completely took it to this level.

L&S: How much weight have you lost?
Khloé: I’ve lost about 25 pounds, and I know that only because my best friend, who trains me from time to time, weighed me and told me. I was about a size 10; now I’m a 6. It’s weird, though: In denim, I’m the same size. It’s just my body shape.
Kim: I’d say I’ve lost a solid 10 pounds in a little more than a year. For me, because my body is so small, that’s a big difference. I’m so much more toned.

L&S: How do you feel?
Kim: I feel like I’m in the best shape of my life. I used to be so shy and insecure walking out in a bikini doing shoots and things — it just really feels good to finally feel like I did it. I’m the skinniest I’ve ever been. I stepped on the scale, and it said I was 114 pounds. I always weighed 120, 125 — I was shocked.

L&S: What’s the biggest change you’ve seen in your sister?
Khloé: Her stomach, for sure. She’s always been very skinny, but her stomach used to be kind of pudgy — we called it a baby bump. Her stomach is ridiculous now!
Kim: Her arms are so much skinnier, and her stomach is flat. I saw a healthy transformation, and it just feels good to see your sister confident and sexy. She’s a different person!

[From Life & Style]

Well, if they really are dieting in a healthy, athletic way, then I guess my “cocaine diet” theory is out the window. But I still say that there’s no way in hell Kim and Khloe’s bottom halves look like that. Ah… if only the Photoshop diet could be given to everyone!

Here’s Kim leaving a nail salon yesterday and Khloe with her boyfriend, LA Lakers player Lamar Odom leaving Katsuya last night. Images thanks to WENN.com . Thanks to Cover Awards for the cover.