Britney Spears must be fearful of behaving in a way that could be seen as normal, rational, or intelligent. And while the idiot poptart hasn’t done anything dramatically stupid in the last few days, that doesn’t mean the tabloids are covering her any less. It just means they’re talking more about the little mundane stupid things she does – which are almost as frightening. Not in a “I’m going to hold my baby hostage” way, but more in a way that shows how utterly lacking in basic intelligence Britney is. I would have some hope that most people could work their way out of her situation, but I really don’t with Britney. It’s not even that she’s in too deeply – people have rallied back from worse. But to do so, you really need to have at least an average level of intelligence. And while she’s got a lot of mental issues going on, I think it’s pretty clear that on top of all that, Britney just isn’t smart, even in a normal way. And that’s going to work against her.

Us Weekly reports that Brit started speaking in a British accent at the hospital. They go into an overly-deep psychoanalysis of it, saying it’s indicative that she’s confused about her personality. Something tells me it’s more indicative of her weird sense of humor. She’s spoken in a (poor) British accent in the past, along with commonly doing a valley girl accent. When you see her do it on tape, it seems like she’s doing it for (attempted) laughs. She tends to do it with that really dumb face she makes where she juts the top of her jaw out and bugs her eyes. It seems meant for laughs in that dumb, “I don’t understand how to be funny or witty” way. Can you tell we’re getting a little sick of her?

Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Britney Spears spoke with a British accent during her short stay at L.A.’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center last Friday. It isn’t the first time she changed her voice. On December 17, she spoke in the same accent while chatting with photographers outside the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills.

What does it mean? “She’s having identity issues,” NYC-based psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig tells Usmagazine.com of the pop star, who recently lost custody of her children.

“What it definitely says is she doesn’t really like being where she’s at — there’s probably a part of her that wants to escape who she is really is,” Ludwig says, adding that Spears is “in an adolescent mode of thinking … [she’s] trying on different personas to see what feels good and works for her.”

[From US Weekly]

Additionally, Brit’s car was impounded yesterday. Her Mercedes got a flat tire in the middle of the road on Sunset Boulevard, and Britney abandoned it. From the way People and US Weekly covered the story, it’s not possible to tell if Brit got the flat tire and just walked away, or if she “abandoned it” because she wasn’t in it and was waiting for a tow.

The latest in Britney Spears’ troubles: She had her Mercedes towed and impounded by police Monday night after abandoning it on L.A.’s busy Sunset Boulevard after suffering a flat tire.

Usmagazine.com was there as an irritated and upset looking Spears, with a convoy of paparazzi following, suffered a flat right front tire while driving in Brentwood. After driving for over two miles on the flat, Spears pulled the car to a stop and abandoned the vehicle amid rush-hour traffic. LAPD spokesperson Mike Lopez says Britney’s car was impounded because it was “blocking the roadway.”

According to eyewitnesses at the scene, Spears and her assistant then hopped into a car driven by a trailing paparazzo, who drove Spears back to her Beverly Hills home. Within minutes, Spears left in another car and headed to the Four Seasons hotel in Beverly Hills.

[From US Weekly]

The LAPD confirmed that Britney won’t receive any citations, which makes me think she didn’t “abandon” the car in the sense of walking away and leaving other people to deal with the mess. The company that towed her car is a private one contracted with the city. So while it seems that she didn’t completely mess up, she’s still proving my theory right that she’s flat-out dumb. I really don’t think she’s just self-centered, I think she’s operating only slightly above a Forest Gump level of intellect. She did, after all, drive for over two miles on a flat tire, choosing to give up in the middle of the street on Sunset Boulevard. I’m assuming there were a lot of parking lots and empty roadsides along her two mile drive. It obviously would have been a lot more considerate to leave her car there.

Header image from Nachobaby used by permission