Okay, I’m going to try to limit this fashion post to the absolute best and worst, in my humble opinion. And this one is just for the ladies! If you want to see the men, try our hot men buffet. Anyhoodle, the prevailing fashion themes seemed to be: lots of black, lots of nudes, lots of ruffles and, of course, bad hair. Which was because of the rain. It sucked for the actresses, because you know that so many of them had spent hours getting their hair done just right, only to have it deflated instantly.

One of my least favorites was Drew Barrymore. Bad color, bad styling, bad hair, okay makeup. Drew is not one of those women who can pull off that nude-pink color. Very few women can, and Drew wasn’t the only one to make a bad color mistake. But the big appliqués on the shoulder and hip were terrible. Just bad, bad, bad:

Marion Cotillard was one of my favorites, and honestly it was just about the color of the dress. That beautiful green-teal-blue color photographed so beautifully, and it looked great with her coloring too. I wasn’t crazy about the black lace inset, but it worked on her. One of my favorite things about Marion is how gigantic her ears are, and how she consistently wears her hair back on red carpets, as if to emphasize her ears – it’s a very confident move:

I’m already breaking my own rule – because I didn’t love or hate Elisabetta Canalis’s dress, but I figure people want to talk about it. You know what’s funny? George Clooney didn’t let Canalis pose by herself for fashion shots! Every photo of Elisabetta is a photo of George. So, yeah. She’s not sticking around. As for the dress, I liked the color, and this is a good example of a pale color not washing a woman out. The vague bondage theme is probably appropriate too, yes?

Now, one of my least favorites – Penelope Cruz. This junk was a f-cking disaster close-up, just judging from E!’s red carpet. When Penelope came up to talk to Ryan Seacrest, she looked and acted pissy, and I’m wondering if this dress might be the reason. It’s just so gaudy and haphazard, with the horizontal stripes throughout the bodice, and the lace appliqué on the shoulders and hem. It just looked messy. Oh, and when she turned around, you could see her ass. So, the dress is see-through too:

Sandra Bullock was one of my favorites from the night, once again because she chose a beautiful color. The dress itself was weird and utterly diaphanous in certain light. It looked nice on Sandra, although her hair was a hot mess. Still, Sandra is famous for getting it wrong on the red carpet, and I thought she looked pretty great. It was her night, after all!

Oh, Nicole. Once again, an example of this f-cking nude color not working. I guess this color is technically “champagne”. It’s still ugly, though. Bad design too, and I don’t get this styling movement to pair pale colors with bright lipstick. It’s jarring, and it rarely works. Nicole’s hair looked good, though. Still happy to see her back to bright red.

For goodness sake, Julianne Moore. Pull your sh-t together. And you know Tom Ford dressed her too. He probably didn’t want her to pull focus from him, that bastard. This dress is horrid.

Oh, and how ugly was Diane Kruger’s dress? She was another hot mess. Such a beautiful woman too, it was disappointing. She usually brings it.

Okay, there were more ladies that I want to bring up, but this is getting long, so just note – I thought Olivia Wilde’s dress was pretty, and I though Fergie was looking really nice. Heidi Klum looked horrible and so, so ‘80s and Carey Mulligan was aiming for quirky, but just looked out of touch. Oh, and Mariah Carey was a f-cking mess, but she wasn’t important, thank God. I’m sure I missed some, but those were my best and worst for the evening.

Golden Globes red carpet, press room and after-party photos: Drew Barrymore, Marion Cotillard, Clooney & Canalis, Bullock & Jesse James, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Penelope Cruz, Olivia Wilde, Diane Kruger, Fergie, Heidi Klum. Credit: Jody Cortes & Nikki Nelson / WENN