There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark! Only it’s not Denmark, it’s England. And it’s not rotten, it’s stolen. What are we talking about? The latest madcap British food heist to unfold with a delectable, if criminal, Dickensian-Conan Doyle flourish. When thieves absconded with Michelin-star chef Tommy Banks’ delivery van earlier this week, neatly stowed in the back were 2,500 savory Christmas pies estimated to be worth $32,000. Banks, being a stand up guy, made a plea on Instagram urging the thieves to donate the perishable cargo so the festive loot could be consumed in good holiday cheer. Alas, ‘twas not what happened. Police recovered the van yesterday, but the goods were no longer good. And all of this on the heels of 22 tons of rare cheddar cheese being stolen not even two months ago? I repeat: there’s something rotten in the state of Denmark(England)!
A British chef’s appeal for thieves to return 2,500 pies that were in a stolen van ended in disappointment Tuesday when police found the vehicle abandoned, with its savory cargo too damaged to eat.
Tommy Banks, who owns two Michelin-starred restaurants and a pub in the northern English county of Yorkshire, said a member of staff discovered the van was missing, along with its cargo of steak and ale, turkey and butternut squash pies intended for a Christmas market in the city of York. The food has been valued at 25,000 pounds ($32,000).
Banks said the van was insured, but he implored the vehicle thieves not to let the food go to waste. In an Instagram video, he suggested they “do the right thing” and drop the pies at a community center or other venue.
In an update, Banks said police had found the van, badly damaged and with stolen license plates, in Middlesbrough, about 30 miles (50 km) from where it was taken. He said the pies were still inside but were damaged and would have to be discarded.
“It’s just so much waste. It’s just rubbish,” Banks said in a video on Instagram. “Sorry, it’s not a happier ending to this story.”
The pie heist is the latest theft of artisanal edibles to rock the U.K. food trade. In October, nearly 1,000 wheels of cloth-wrapped artisanal cheddar weighing 22 metric tons (48,488 pounds) and valued at 300,000 pounds ($390,000) were swiped from London’s Neal’s Yard Dairy by a con artist posing as a wholesale distributor for a major French retailer.
Despite a hunt by British and international police — and an appeal by TV chef Jamie Oliver — the cheese has not been found. A 63-year-old man was arrested and questioned by police, but has not been charged.
How many more truckloads of artisanal food have to disappear before a national emergency is declared — what say you, King Charles?! Do you think when the history books are written, they might read, “The reign of Charles III was marked by an increase in republican anti-monarchy sentiment, personal family turmoil, and a spree of heists in which rare, expensive foods were stolen from across the country for reasons unknown.” LOL. I don’t condone crime. Still, I do thank the Brits from the bottom of my heart for adding their own quintessential flair to these random acts of gastronomic thievery. That being said, we need to firm up protections for masters of the culinary arts. I don’t know if it’s the police dedicating squads to the perishables beat, or cooking schools adding anti-crime training to their courses, or some combination. But no wheel of cheddar or Christmas pie should be left behind! As we dive into this holiday season, please remember: our edible delicacies are only as safe as we keep them. Also, if you encounter posh food outside a home, eating venue, or grocery, it may be in need of rescuing from kidnappers.
Photos via Instagram/Tommy’s Pie Shop
It’s all so sad, stealing food, even if it’s not necessarily basic food, in the middle of a living crisis like this is just sad.
And then to let these pies go to waste.
I do hope karma catches up with the thieves.
I’m thinking they wanted the van itself, irrespective of the contents. Then they got in a wreck & left it.
What a shame…
I would’ve liked a bite.