While I’m not certain Jesus Luz really did dump Madonna, everyone seems to be reporting it, and Madonna still hasn’t released any statement about it. Hello Magazine is running an interview with an unnamed “friend” of Madge’s, and this friend confirms the breakup, and also claims that Madge is taking a time-out. Apparently, Madge told this friend: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I’m certainly not going to rush a decision to satisfy the curious.” The friend then says: “The problem with Jesus is as simple as it is obvious. It’s the age difference. He’s 23. She’s 51. How long could it last? How it even lasted a year seems a miracle to a lot of people. He’s perfectly nice, a gentleman and very smart. But they are in such different places in their lives. They both benefited, but it’s pretty much over now. Or, as Madonna told me, “We’ve just run out of things to talk about. I mean, it’s really pushing it for us to have common ground these days. We have Kabbalah, but that’s about it.”‘ Hmmm…

Anyway, the investment in Jesus Luz’s pants (and his deejay lessons, and all the modeling work Madge got him) isn’t the only Brazilian investment Madge has made recently. Fox New Pop Tarts reports that Madge has invested $1.5 million in a special Brazilian “youth water”. It’s coconut-flavored water, by the way. Just in case you thought “youth water” was a euphemism for “scary plastic surgery in Brazil”.

Madonna is making a big $1.5 million investment in Vita Coco, coconut water made in Brazil. This will be her second major import from the country, behind her Brazillian model boyfriend, 23 year-old Jesus Luz.

Madonna will join her manager Guy Oseary and other celebs like Matthew McConaughey and Demi Moore as investors in the company. Friends of the singer give us the inside track into what hooked Madonna on her latest health sensation.

Sources tell us the Material Mom is obsessed with the water for its many benefits in health and aging.

“Madonna began drinking it in 2009 on her Sticky & Sweet tour and it became her drink of choice. Before Vita Coco, she was drinking a lot of coffee and having special brands shipped to her on the tour. She began drinking coconut water after workouts and shows. Madonna has a team of specialists around her including doctors, chiropractors and other people who could confirm that it’s a healthy choice.”

By investing in Vita Coco, Madonna can ensure that it gets publicized, gets new fans and will always be at her fingertips.

“It’s around for Jesus to drink, too. Madonna has it delivered everywhere she goes. Coconut water is something the Brazilians have embraced for years, so it’s no coincidence that she’s been drinking it since meeting Jesus. This is another way she can turn back the clock and pour something super healthy into her body. Madonna uses it to detoxify and cleanse her system.”

Other health benefits of coconut water include lowering your cholesterol, preventing diabetes, boosting your metabolism and immune system. You can buy your Madonna Vita Coco water at Whole Foods and other specialty food markets.

[From Fox News Pop Tarts]

Now, I believe Madonna has invested in this company, and I believe that she will continue to pay large sums of money to ensure that she looks “younger”. That included money for plastic surgery, money for clothes, money to pay off random men to be her boyfriend, money for expensive water, Kabbalah or coconut. But seriously, who looks at Madge and thinks, “Wow, she looks great!” When I saw her performance on the Help For Haiti Now telethon (these photos are from that event), every time she tried to move her face, she and I both winced in pain. But it was probably the coconut water, right?