Chelsea Handler is the cover girl for the April issue of Shape Magazine (cover story here). She’s still trying to convince us that she’s in her 30s, too. But whatever, she looks good, although this cover is so overwhelmingly orange, it hurts my eyes. Why do an orange cover when your cover girl is already a shade of orange? I don’t get it.

Anyway, I think the point of this is that Chelsea is in a bikini and we should all want to go on the booze-heavy diet Chelsea’s on so that we can look like that in a bikini. Ah, whatever:

US comedienne Chelsea Handler has revealed how she got her flat stomach without having to give up her favourite cocktails. The 35-year-old funnywoman told Shape magazine: “I told my nutritionist: ‘I’m not going to quit drinking. I love to hang out with my girlfriends and have cocktails and dinner. It’s how I relax’. He explained that calorie-wise, vodka isn’t so bad, as long as you drink it with soda.”

She added: “Knowing I could have a drink made it easier to stick to the programme.”

The stand-up comedian and TV personality shows off her slimline body on the cover of the US fitness magazine, wearing a tiny red bikini and a big smile. The Chelsea Lately host revealed that she hired a nutritionist once she decided to get serious about being healthy, after years of yo-yo dieting.

‘I was born with a French-fry in my mouth,” she said and admitted that she grew up munching on Doritos in between meals. Now the late-night chat-show host has swapped junk food for healthier options and is feeling better for it. But despite all her efforts to shape up, Handler revealed that her family thought she had actually packed on the pounds when they tuned into her chat show.

She said: ‘I went home to visit my family after my show first started and my sister said to me, ‘Oh, you look good. We were going to say something about your weight because you look so big on TV’.

‘And then I looked at their TV and I realised they had it on wide-screen. I’m like, ‘Of course I look big. Take it off wide-screen you losers!”

[From Monsters & Critics]

Personally, I don’t really care for Chelsea because I think she’s too mean, not to mention racist. But whatever. Good for her for trying to be healthier. She’s promoting her new book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. It’s basically a collection of funny essays and comedic bits, and it’s already number one on the NYT’s hardcover nonfiction list, knocking off Karl Rove’s Courage and Consequence, which is pretty hilarious in and of itself. But… is she really 35 years old? You be the judge.