If you’re a stay at home mom watching television with your children you inevitably end up rating the guys on the kids’ shows based on which ones you’d sleep with. At least, you know, I do. So here’s my list of the top eight hot guys on children’s television. I wanted to have a top ten list, but couldn’t seem to find ten without adding all the Wiggles (and they’re all deserving, even the narcoleptic guy) or using cartoon and non-human characters like Bob The Builder.

It’s based on somewhat current shows, because to consider the entertainers of my childhood like Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo would just be wrong. (Plus they were all pretty fug and would be out of the running anyway.)

1. With a cute accent and a cuter ass, Sportacus from Lazy Town easily tops the list. The show is far from watchable. An annoying pink-haired pixie and her plastic-faced friends jump around and sing frenetically about the benefits of a healthy lifestyle while a less than believable skinny villian with giant eyebrows tries to keep them from playing sports. Sportacus, though, always saves the day with his fast moves and flawless body. He seems like the type of bland foreign lover that would have made a summer in my early 20s pass a lot quicker.

2. The men of Australian singing troop “The Wiggles“ are most mother’s fantasy children’s television hookups, but one definitely stands out. Wiggle Anthony is freaking hot. He’s the one in the blue shirt that loves to eat fruit. I would gladly set out a bowl for him.

3. Paul Ewing of the BBC Show “Tikkabilla” did not come to my attention until I did the research for this post and found a thread at Mumsnet on this very subject of hot children’s hosts. I’ve only seen the show twice, but the moms love this tall Scottish dreamboat, who is also an accomplished musician and stage actor. Here’s his myspace for his band.

4. Steve Burns, the host of “Blue’s Clues” from 1996-2001, may not be as enthusiastic a sidekick to an animated dog as his successor Joe, but his emo attitude and cute sense of wonder make him oddly attractive. Joe is traditionally hotter than Steve, but his naivety is way too convincing. Steve made the transition from children’s television to lead singer of a band and has successfully reinvented himself. As long as there are reruns and old Blues DVDs, he’ll stay in the fantasies of many a bored housewife.

5. Cute baldie Shane from Noggin and Nick Jr’s new show “The Upside Down Show“ gets into all sorts of goofy pretend situations with his sidekick David, and manages to look hip and hittable the entire time. Shane and David are an Australian comedy duo called “The Umbilical Brothers” and now entertain children and drooling moms alike. What is it about those Aussie guys?

6. Lavar Burton of “Reading Rainbow“ has piercing eyes and an infectious smile. The show might have been cancelled in 2004, but you can still catch gorgeous Lavar on the PBS reruns.

7. Head Wiggle Greg drives the Big Red Car and uses priceless Aussie expressions like “beauty, mate.” The actor is currently suffering fainting spells from an unknown health problem, so send your best wishes to this hot Wiggle for a quick recovery.

8. Joe of Blues Clues kind of gets me in one episode called “Morning Music” where he looks all cute and is just waking up in the morning. I always imagine that he has some chick in his bedroom who has to sneak out the back door. He goes on to sing about going to the bathroom with lyrics that include “We know how to pee and poo. Just sit on the toilet like a grownup would, And see what we can do, do, do,” which kind of ruins it for me.

Are there any I’ve missed? Let me know because it would be nice to have the top ten hottest guys on children’s TV, but I already feel pretty sleazy for picking out eight.

Update: Thanks to Julie for reminding me about the Zoboomafoo brothers, who will round out our list nicely. The series aired on PBS from 1999-2001, well before I had a child, but I remember seeing it and thinking they were hot. This is sad but true.

9. Chris Kratt from Zoboomafoo

10. Martin Kratt from Zoboomafoo

Here’s a clip from The Wiggles.